After a painful breakup it’s important to be proactive so as not to succumb to negative emotions. You will need to step back and ask yourself the right questions so that you may truly understand how to get over a breakup. Do you want to get back with your ex and be in a relationship again? Do you feel the need to understand the reasons that made them leave?
Of course, you don’t want to be single, but after a painful breakup, you need time to come back to your senses. In this article, you will learn the importance of clearly understanding the reasons why your partner left. But if you want to understand everything immediatly, you can read my Ebook : 70 pro tips to get back with your ex!
How to handle a painful breakup or separation: It’s always painful!
When a person finds themselves in this situation, it’s rare to see someone who isn’t deeply affected. You might be wondering “Why is breakup up so painful,” and it can be compared to the feeling of mourning. An extremely important part of your life has died, and now you’re trying to fill the void that you feel.
Other than the losing a connection with your loved one and losing their presence in your life, many other factors can play a part in intensifying the pain of breaking up. In turn these feelings can lead to added despair and deep unhappiness within you. Let’s attempt to define these different factors in order to better understand and overcome them.
Painful break up: The surprise factor
When you’re beginning to expect a breakup you can try to prepare yourself mentally for it to the best of your abilities as you are in a position to have the time to plan ahead. Regardless, such a painful breakup or separation can be difficult to manage when it becomes a reality. But when a breakup comes as a total surprise, its effect is unforeseen and even way more difficult to manage.
The surprise element can trigger a wide variety of reactions because in such circumstances, it becomes exceedingly difficult to manage one’s emotions! Furthermore the surprise element forces many people to make mistakes (if they ultimately wish to get back with their ex), as their feelings and passion take over and they often try to plead with their ex to stay by their side.
Breakup pain: The emptiness factor
Before the painful breakup or separation, your world most likely revolved around your significant other. The desire and the feelings that you had for them before probably intensified after the news of the breakup. As time passes it is possible that your ex’s absence only becomes more and more intense, and can even become unbearable at times. This is because of the “emptiness factor,” and it can take quite some time to overcome and fill the void.
This absence is felt by the lack of many different elements that you believe your ex brought into your life. We are referring here to their love, warmth, conversations that you may have had or simply the attention that they may have given to you. This emptiness factor is one of the leading causes of frustration during most painful breakups or separations.
Pain of break up: The imagination factor
While some of us have the capacity to quickly forget, others can become obsessed with their ex and even start to imagine what they could be doing or even thinking. These thoughts can often go as far as to hinder day-to-day activities and productivity in the real world. If you can relate to this and are having difficulties handling a painful breakup or separation you may realize that you have created a “parallel world” in which you alone live. Not being able to handle this imagination factor can be the cause of tremendous self-torture.
Painful breakups: The misunderstanding factor
During a painful breakup or separation nothing could be worse than not fully understanding why your ex has left. Not being totally able to comprehend a situation where someone left you (whether it was because they did not provide you with an explanation or because the one provided simply doesn’t make sense) can lead to a feeling of injustice and defeat.
This feeling can lead to heartbreak when your ex runs away from you or does not want to respond to you when you reach out.
Breaking up pain: The self-esteem factor
The collapse of a breakup leads many to doubt themselves and to think they have failed. The feeling of rejection can cause many to start to lose confidence. Not only does the ego take a hit but you also start to think that you may think that you are not worthy or good enough to be loved by someone that you deeply care for.
This self-esteem factor can have perverse effects not only on your future love life and relationships but also in both your personal and professional lives as well. This can be very dangerous if not dealt with accordingly in the days, weeks or even months after the painful breakup or separation that took place.
Find a way to relax after a painful breakup or separation!
There is no magic wand that can be waved over your head and make all of those factors of stress magically go away while you’re working on overcoming a breakup. The anguish of the mind is often the most difficult to remedy because it’s invisible and thus nonphysical. Even worse, it manifests itself differently for different people.
Depending on your personality and the specificity of what you have gone through, one technique may work better than another. Nevertheless, here are three tips to help you rediscover your personal balance and slowly regain a positive spirit.
1. Let off some steam after a breakup
To relieve some of the stress dealing with breakup, a great method is to “tire yourself out”. Try powerwalking, jogging or getting involved in a sport or other psychical activity in line with your capabilities and desires! Whether you are completely out of shape or a professional athlete, increasing your typical regiment of physical activity will enable you find peace of mind for both your body and spirit.
2. Keep as busy as possible when dealing with the pain of a breakup
The bottom line is that you need to find a way not to think about your ex, and in order to do this, you must keep yourself busy! Staying busy is the quickest way to recover from a painful breakup or separation because it enables you to stay focused on yourself and to quickly regain self-confidence.
If you happen to have a hobby, be active in it, and if you don’t yet have one, make it a point to find yours. Take our word for it, it could not only make you feel better about yourself but it could also change your life!
3. How to overcome a breakup: Take care of yourself
If you try to take good care of yourself in any way that you can, you will inevitably feel more at ease in your own skin, calm your mind, you will regain self-confidence and in turn forget the sorrow caused by the painful breakup or separation.
Depending on your situation, a period of no contact may be in order. You can learn all about the no contact to get back an ex here, but to briefly summarize, it involves cutting contact with your ex for a predetermined amount of time. The goal is for you to become the best version of yourself and for your ex to begin to fear losing you. Again, get in touch with us for some guidance in using this tool because when used correctly, it can be one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal!
If you want your ex back after a painful breakup, you must understand him or her
If despite the pain of breakup, you realize that you want to be with your ex again, you’ll have to figure out the proper plan of action. As each situation is entirely unique, we recommend getting in touch with us for one on one coaching so that you may reach your goal quickly and efficiently!
It is never easy to make a decision to look within, try to totally rebuild yourself, learn how to get over the pain of a break up, and figure out how to react. Just know that your ex probably feels the exact same way. We both know it isn’t easy going back to being single after a relationship. In other words, your ex is suffering just as much as you. In order to win back their heart you will need to be patient and understand their wants and needs to recreate an environment in which love can flourish!
A relationship needs to be tended to at all times, and to recreate a solid base, it is vital to realize your ex’s desires and that you amend your past mistakes.
How do I show my ex that I have changed?
As you read this article today, I hope you understand how important it is to reflect on your relationship in its entirety and to come up with concrete solutions to make it work again. But how is exactly can you communicate all of this to your ex?
Well first, in order to show you’re on the right track, I suggest that you grab a copy of our audio seminar on “The Handwritten Letter”. Prove to your ex that you are willing to go the extra mile towards reconciliation and how much your relationship with your ex means to you, even if you’ve both gone through the pain of breaking up.
To get started off on this difficult phase after a painful breakup, I invite you to ask yourself two questions before each action you take:
– Why do I want to do this? (Objective)
– Where will this action lead me? (Purpose)
As you’ve understood, the most important thing to do after a painful break up is to reconstruct yourself. Only then can you show your ex real improvements.
Via the audio seminar or a coaching session with us, you’ll be able to clearly communicate with your ex and show them that you’ve made some necessary improvements and that you have a tangible action plan for the future.
A breakup is a personal endeavor: Always take care of yourself
You may be going through an emotional letdown and are unsure of how to react after a painful breakup, and may be feeling sick of being shackled to the disillusions of a failed relationship. This breakup needs to first serve as a way to rebuild yourself and then if you want to get back together with your ex, this break up is also a way to break away from the past and start off a new relationship with the person that you love!
So to summarize, analyze your mistakes and shortcomings, and then focus on where to best apply your time and efforts in order to provide your future relationship with positive energy, and to make your love life in general, stronger and more peaceful.
I wish good luck to all of you! Do not hesitate to comment on this article. I will be sure to give you some pointers on how to get through this painful breakup!
Your coaches to help you react after a painful breakup,
Alex Cormont & Adrian