They tell me to forget about my ex! Should I give up or not?

should I forget about my exShould you forget about your ex, or try everything in your power to get the one you love to come back? This is the biggest question that you are faced with following a breakup, and it’s never easy to say which way to go because each story is unique.

If you’re wondering “should I forget about my ex, it’s because you’re being flooded not only with doubt, but by fear of failing after you’ve already lost your relationship once before. These feelings are rooted in a variety of things: either it can be a misunderstanding of all the techniques that are available to you; because of family members that get involved in your efforts to get back together with your ex; or simply because you just don’t know how to proceed.

The first step is to figure out what you want.

You’re thinking I want to get back with my ex? You don’t know how you should go about it? You’re afraid of screwing things up? Then follow my advice!

My friends are telling me to forget about my ex!

As I explain in an article about the influence of family members when trying to get back together with an ex, loved ones are often biased because they would prefer that you move on. They’re saying that your ex is an ex for a reason, and that you should move on so that you may find a new and more fulfilling relationship. What they often forget is that they’ve been in your position before. When they were in love they also tried to get back with someone they loved.

Everyone at one point or another has tried to get back together with an ex. For some people it worked out great and for others it was a complete failure. In fact this might be the reason why your friends are telling you to “give up on your ex.” Maybe they were so hurt when their story didn’t work out that they want to protect you from going through the same pain.

However in these moments right after a separation you have to ask yourself pertinent questions and really figure out what exactly you want. Your decision is the most important. Of course you can always consult with your family and friends but you should never go against your own judgment. It’s perfectly normal to ask yourself questions, to have doubts… Who wouldn’t in such a situation? Knowing what exactly you want will help you to get rid of your biggest uncertainties.

Is getting back together with my ex hopeless?

Saying “I’ve decided that I want my ex back” is already the first step because you’re able to articulate what you’re feeling. Of course just saying these words won’t be enough to make your ex come back to you tomorrow. You will have to set forth efforts to bring about a real evolution because your breakup didn’t happen by accident. It’s proof that something wasn’t working between you, so now you have to grow and lean how to fix what was wrong either within yourself or within your relationship.

When you ask should I forget about my ex or not? you don’t quite know where you stand, but it’s because you’re thinking about your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend’s point of view. You’re thinking that nothing can change their mind regarding the relationship. But in truth this isn’t really the case. There was once attraction between you but now it’s disappeared. The good news is that you can make your ex come back by showing them that you’ve changed and improved. This will take time, but if you read the testimonials about getting back together with an ex on our site, you’ll see that the results can be very satisfactory. So if you’re thinking that you have no chance you’re wrong!

Often times those that think that getting back together with their ex is hopeless are the ones that have put forth efforts, but without properly using the techniques that we recommend. If Radio Silence is a term that they are unfamiliar with, it’s not that surprising that they’re having difficulty. Moreover if a person is trying to shower their ex with gifts, blowing up their phone… or worse still, suffocating them by constantly being present, or even threatening their ex, of course it’s not going to work! There are certain rules to respect and if you misuse or ignore them you’ll hit a nice big roadblock.

I don’t really like to make comparisons to unrelated themes but just to make my point a little clearer think about it this way: If you’ve got a recipe for something delicious and you don’t use the right ingredients, of course the result isn’t going to be what you were expecting. It could very well turn out to be awful! So if you’re trying to bring about a bit of a renaissance in your love life it’s the same idea. If you don’t use the right ingredients… I think you see my point! So now you’re aware, and you won’t make any mistakes especially if you continue reading here!

It makes sense that until you fully understand what went wrong, what you really want, and what you need to do, that your ex won’t be willing to give you the second chance that you feel you deserve. This is exactly why it’s so important to understand the breakup and only after having done so will you be able to start asking, “What can truly help me to get back with the person I love?” Doubts have no place in your objective to get your ex-partner back, and rebuilding yourself is paramount. This is where your friends and family come in…

Your coach if you’re determined to get back together with your ex.

Best wishes,

Adrian

  • Donna

    Hi, I am a first time reader. I’m not even sure if what happened would be defined as a break up. Everything was fine between us until he suddenly blocked me on Twitter last Christmas (on Christmas Day). We never dated. It was more like that situation with that friend who you knew she has feelings for you but you didn’t like her that way.

    I only just recently (last week), found out why he blocked me. A friend of mine sent me a text showing me that my ex posted on Instagram saying why he blocked me and a couple other people, and it was because of some inappropriate pictures he was receiving and he wanted to protect his pre-teen daughters from seeing the pictures, so he blocked me and some other girls. Well, the truth is that I never sent him any inappropriate pictures, in fact it was all from one girl who sent the pictures but she kept trying to include me and another girl in on the tweets with the inappropriate pictures. I felt bad that it happened and that I didn’t defend him and his kids, but I had my own thing going I just got a full time job and keeping busy with that so I had no time to get involved with that drama. Then he broke up with his fiancée at the beginning of the year. I wanted to be there for him, but I kept my distance knowing that he was still sensitive about what happened (I didn’t know the reason back then) and that no contact would be best. He was being very obvious about his heartbreak on Twitter during the summer, but I kept my distance. Next thing I know, while waiting for him to contact me, I found out in August he has a new girlfriend who is 10 years younger than me (20 years younger than him). So I’m assuming this girl is a rebound considering he wasn’t over his ex fiancée yet and I still don’t think he is over her since he is makes comments on Twitter and Instagram that should be left to private text messages (if you get my drift).

    Anyways, I really love him, and I think he remembers this, but he just feels that he has to date and be with “Hollywood girls” because he is an actor. The last time we talked in person (which was 3 years ago last week) he quietly told me that I shouldn’t feel embarrassed about my feelings and that he would give me a chance if things didn’t work out with his fiancée, and he thanked me for being a great friend, and being so supportive of his family and career.

    Then I found out that he has been keeping in touch with me using a role playing account on Twitter and I didn’t know it was him until January.

    As of a month ago, I found out why he blocked me. A friend of mine sent me a text showing me that my ex posted on Instagram saying why he blocked me and a couple other people, and it was because of some inappropriate pictures he was receiving and he wanted to protect his pre-teen daughters from seeing the pictures, so he blocked me and some other girls. Well, the truth is that I never sent him any inappropriate pictures, in fact it was all from one girl who sent the pictures but she kept trying to include me and another girl in on the tweets with the inappropriate pictures. I felt bad that it happened and that I didn’t defend him and his kids, but I had my own thing going I just got a full time job and keeping busy with that so I had no time to get involved with that drama. Then he broke up with his fiancée at the beginning of the year. I wanted to be there for him, but I kept my distance knowing that he was still sensitive about what happened (I didn’t know the reason back then) and that no contact would be best. He was being very obvious about his heartbreak on Twitter during the summer, but I kept my distance. Next thing I know, while waiting for him to contact me, I found out in August he has a new girlfriend who is 10 years younger than me (20 years younger than him). So I’m assuming this girl is a rebound considering he wasn’t over his ex fiancée yet and I still don’t think he is over her since he is makes comments on Twitter and Instagram that should be left to private text messages (if you get my drift).

    Anyways, I really love him, and I think he remembers this, but he just feels that he has to date and be with “Hollywood girls” because he is an actor. The last time we talked in person (which was 3 years ago this week) he quietly told me that I shouldn’t feel embarrassed about my feelings and that he would give me a chance if things didn’t work out with his fiancée, and he thanked me for being a great friend, and being so supportive of his family and career.

    Then I found out that he has been keeping in touch with me using a role playing account on Twitter and I didn’t know it was him until January. I really don’t know what to do. I feel lost.