Not everyone is lucky enough to be on good terms with their ex, without having to deal with insults, violence and vengeance. In reality, no longer being together doesn’t automatically mean that you’re going to be happy again immediately; a breakup can leave a mark and your ex’s absence is felt.
You know better than anyone that you’re on this site reading this article looking for advice on how to feel better and how to move forward. A separation can hurt and can push a person to be hostile.
I receive messages, phone calls, and testimonials from people every day that are going through a difficult period following a breakup. Sometimes your suffering is rooted in your ex’s behavior and sometimes it’s rooted in the simple fact that you’re no longer together. This isn’t easy to go through, especially when you feel like you’re at your wit’s end and your feelings for your ex are very much still present…
You want to move on from this situation and get over a breakup but the past is weighing heavily on your shoulders. In turn you’ll have to ask yourself some important questions if you want to move forward. “How to stop being sad about a breakup” is one of the main ones. You’re going to have to use multiple things like patience and determination in order to advance and not lot let the pain from your ex’s negativity or the breakup control you.
Why am I sad after the breakup?
We all know someone that has been able to quickly bounce back from a separation and hasn’t let it get them down. Unfortunately not everyone is able to figure out how to stop being sad about a breakup that quickly. It’s important to differentiate between the people that really do move on quickly, and those that pretend that they’re fine while they’re actually suffering in secret.
No matter how long you had been with someone, you develop habits and a certain rhythm in your relationship, and as soon as you breakup everything is called into question. You had known that you have someone by your side every single day and this is a sensation that most men and women search for in their life. Despite all our differences, we all want to find the right person and when it suddenly no longer exists, it’s an enormous disappointment.
You feel like you have to start all over again, like you’ve wasted so much time and this is turn makes it hard to bounce back. The sacrifices you made, the efforts you had made weren’t enough… or at least that’s what you think in moments like these. The negative side of things take precedent and you can easily forget about happy memories.
There is another element to take into consideration. The attitude your ex adopts after the breakup can also influence the way you’re going to react. If they immediately start a new relationship with someone else, if they’re double dealing, or if they continue talking to you to make you sad after the breakup, it makes perfect sense that you would be having a tough time moving on and putting an end to your sadness.
Seeking revenge on your ex won’t make you forget them any faster
When you’re wondering how to stop suffering because of your ex and all they’re doing is continuing to provoke you, not letting your mourn the relationship and move forward in peace, sometimes you might think of revenge in order to give them a taste of their own medicine.
Let me tell you right now, this is not a good idea. Some people try to do this so that they can create an electroshock even when their ex isn’t necessarily doing anything wrong. Some people tend to be spiteful in times of heartache.
I understand why you’d want to give tit for tat because you’re hurting, but there are notably 2 big reasons as to why you should steer clear of this mindset. First of all, if you want to get back together, doing this will create even more distance between you and therefore make it considerably difficult to succeed in your endeavor.
If you simply want to turn the page and move on, setting out to hurt someone that you don’t want to think about anymore is a waste of time and energy, and a surefire way to feel even worse in the end.
You’re not a bad person so don’t go against your nature and make this mistake. You’ll just have more regrets and be angry with yourself even if it feels good in the moment. As time goes on you will see that it was an error and you’re not the first person to ever have found themselves in this situation.
How to stop being sad about a breakup? By focusing on yourself!
To avoid post-breakup depression and to not let the separation get you down, it’s imperative to focus on you and on your actions. Basing your attitude on your ex’s behavior is what’s holding you back from moving forward.
You can’t allow them to run your life, and especially not after a breakup. When you want to stop being sad about your ex (and I’m referring to those of you that want your ex back as well as to those of you that don’t,) the most important thing is to find yourself again after the divorce or separation.
We have written an eBook that will help you to do this by using keys to personal reconstruction post-breakup. In this eBook, I explain in detail the actions to set into motion so that you can lift your head back up after this emotional shock and to not suffer from suddenly being single. You’re therefore going to be able to move forward peacefully and avoid making common mistakes.
Your coach for knowing how to stop being sad about a breakup