So you have been broken up for more than a year now and you still think about your ex? You tried to move on but you can’t? I speak to people during one on once coaching sessions every day that feel the same way. I have perfected the art of getting back with someone you love even if you haven’t spoken to them in a long long time.
A couple of days ago I offered a consultation to a man named William who is in his mid-40s. He had gone through a divorce with his wife of 19 years just over a year ago; the first words that he said to me were “I still love my ex after a year apart and I feel silly for it”. He had lost all hope to win her back, yet there he was speaking to me over the phone thinking that maybe I would tell him that it’s still possible. He later told me that this was the best phone call that he had ever made!
In this article I will share some of the insights that I gave William that day. I hope that this will you to not give up and to keep fighting to be with the person you love!
I still love my ex after a year and I don’t know why?
I always start my consultations by giving a fresh take to everyone that I speak too on their relationship. I am convinced that it’s absolutely necessary to take a step back and understand what went wrong in order to get back with an ex; but also to not make the same mistakes in the future. Your goal should not be to just get back together but also to stay together! This means that you have to understand your mistakes but also the deeper reasons why you feel a certain way about the one you love now.
After a breakup it is quite common to experience a feeling of loss. It’s comparable to the death of someone you were close with. The realization that things will never be the same can make you feel like a part of you is gone forever. You have trouble projecting yourself in the future or finding joy in little things that used to make you happy. Many times the fact that you didn’t have a say in the way things ended also can make things worse; and your love for your ex can linger even years after the breakup.
You still love your ex and project your happiness with that person. You are simply still emotionally dependent to your ex. You feel like you need that person to feel complete, to experience real joy. Yes you can be happy or enjoy a night out with friends from time to time or be distracted but it’s just not the same as if you had done those things with your significant other. Like I told William on the phone, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary I find it admirable for someone to face their fears and insecurities and to do everything in their power to reach a goal; being together with the person they love even after so much time has passed!
Get back in touch with your ex to potentially get back together after a long time
If you still have strong feelings for your ex or if you can relate to William telling me “I still love my ex after a year and I am ready to do anything to get back together” than one of the things you will have to do is to reestablish a platform of communications with your ex. In other words, you need to be on good terms with them and be able to communicate at least from time to time. At first it doesn’t even really matter if it’s face to face, though social media platforms, via email or on the phone. The point is that you will need to reconnect to seduce them again.
Before you touch base, I will assume that you have already taken the time to understand what went wrong and that you have started to fix some of the things linked to your personality that caused issues in your relationship. Again if you haven’t changed, and you’re the same old you how can you expect to inspire confidence in your ex that things will work out this time around? If you haven’t yet done this ground work or introspection, I recommend that you go check out my blog and find articles that will help you evolve!
The next thing that you will want to keep in mind is that you probably shouldn’t interact with your ex as if you were trying to win them over at first. If you do, their defense mechanisms will kick in and they will do everything in their power to not let themselves fall back in love with you even if a lot of time has passed since you broke up. Your approach will of course have to be adapted based on the specificities of your relationship, but very often engaging with your ex as if he or she was a really good friend is probably the right way to go. This will enable both of you to be natural and comfortable around each other and avoid awkward moments or creating too much pressure on yourself. Ultimately it will enable you to highlight your change or evolution, showcase the new you, and eventually seduce your ex once again.
Prove that you can make your ex happy in the long run
The key to getting back with your ex after a year will be to prove that you can make them happy in the long run! Don’t try to make your ex fall in love with you or to convince them to get back together through emotions or words. That most likely won’t work. Your ex feels that they know you and that you are not the right person for them. Even if they loved you, they still probably would feel the same exact way. To highlight this point is the fact that people usually still love one another after a breakup, divorce or separation. When you have shared so much of your life with someone feelings don’t just simply go away overnight.
So the issue isn’t about love, it’s about trust and happiness. You need to prove to your ex that he or she can trust you and that you can make them happy in the long run. Once you have been able to accomplish both of these things, your ex will be begging to get back together; I have seen it time and again. The issue that most people face is that they are not aware of this truth. They lack guidance and they don’t have a game plan. If you let your emotions guide you odds are that you too won’t be able to convince someone that you have been broken up with for years to get back with you. But if you follow the plan that I have laid out here, if you are patient and willing to prove that you are the man or the woman of their dreams there’s no reason why you couldn’t get back with the one you love even after years apart.
The coach to call if you still love your ex a year or more after having been broken up,