When you go through a breakup with someone, all of your emotions can feel like they’re spiraling out of control. You’re hurt, you’re sad, you’re upset, you’re frustrated, and when you still want to be with this person, you might try anything in your power to tell her how much you care. Unfortunately, when we are feeling overwhelmed by these emotions, it’s hard to get our point across correctly. What’s more, your ex is also experiencing a surge of emotions, so it becomes rather hard to properly communicate. Tensions are running high, and sometimes a bit of space is needed for things to calm down.
Writing an apology letter to your ex girlfriend for hurting her is an excellent way to start moving towards reconciliation. You just need to make sure that you stick to certain rules that are going to increase your odds of success…
That is precisely why I wanted to write this article for you today. I am going to go over the biggest do’s and don’ts of writing a letter to your ex and how to ensure that you get your point across in the best way possible! It’s tempting to write all your feelings out into a long letter, but there are certain ways of going about doing this that will ensure a higher rate of success! So without further ado, let’s get started!
Why an apology letter to an ex girlfriend for hurting her is so effective
As you’ve probably come to understand, when a person is hurt, they probably don’t want to spend much time speaking to the person that hurt them. When that person happens to be you, and you want nothing more than to be forgiven. It is very likely that you end up trying even harder to be forgiven by doing everything in your power to talk to her.
You want to tell her that you’re sorry, that you didn’t mean for things to end up this way, that she’s the love of your life… The more she pulls away, the more you try to prove to her that you’re sorry. You just want her to know that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to be forgiven!
The problem of course is that she’s upset and doesn’t want to talk to you. That, or tensions are running so high right now that neither of you know how to talk to each other and have a productive conversation about what happened and how you can bounce back. In these types of situations, more often than not, the person who got hurt won’t even be thinking about getting back together. When someone breaks your heart and hurts you by either betraying you or lying to you, you might want to get as far away from them as possible.
I’m not telling you this to hurt you – I just want to give you some insight into what your ex might be feeling right now because it will help shape your plan of action. There are a few things to take into consideration when you’re writing this letter, and her current emotions are one of them.
An apology letter to your ex girlfriend is a fantastic tool because it combines some crucial elements:
3. Clear presentation
If you do this right, it can have a huge (positive) effect on your ex. Words in written form are powerful because the person reading them is unable to interrupt you. Writing out your emotions and what you want to say to your ex is also hugely helpful because you have the opportunity to clearly write out what you want to say!
When you’re upset and terrified of losing the person you love, it’s not uncommon to have trouble expressing yourself the way you want. You either fumble with your words and shut down, or get upset and watch as everything comes out wrong.
Writing a letter helps because you are given the opportunity to sit down and really think about the best way to present what you want to say.
Just keep in mind that there are rules for success when it comes to writing an apology letter to your love, too…
Apology letter to ex girlfriend: The Don’ts!
When you’re writing an “I’m sorry letter,” I want you to keep in mind that one, great letter is much more powerful than many mediocre ones. You want to present your ex with one (preferably handwritten) letter that really hits home and presents your point clearly and positively.
Writing down everything that’s going on in your head is a great way to work through your emotions right now, but I don’t want you to send your ex girlfriend all your brainstorming sessions. You’ve got to have a clear, well organized point that you communicate with her in one clean letter.
No one wants to receive letter after letter in which you’re lamenting your heartbreak and going on and on about how much you want to be with her. Chances are she already knows that you want to be with her, and now you’re going to have to present here with concrete reasons why she could actually be happy with you.
As of now, her most recent memories are negative because they’re focused on the breakup. You’re going to have to work on learning from what happened so that you can present her with something new and improved… but more on that in a moment.
When you’re writing an apology letter for her, you’ll need to steer clear of going on about how sad you are. Mentioning it once is enough. You don’t want to make it look like you’re throwing a pity party for yourself. Besides, she doesn’t want to hear it. Whether you lied to her, cheated on her, disrespected her, or simply broke her trust, the fact of the matter is that right now, she is very hurt and doesn’t want to hear about how sad you are. She needs to know that you regret what you did, but it should not be the focal point of your letter.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you don’t want to point fingers in this letter. If you’re writing things like, “I only did what I did because you …” You’re not going to get very far. She’s just going to put her walls up higher.
A sorry letter to her should be focused on the future, and it should be positive. Neither of you want to dwell on heartbreak, and if you’re going to get back together, your future needs to look bright and uplifting. So, what do you need to write in this letter?
How to write the best Sorry Letter for her…
As I was saying, this letter needs to be positive, and focused on a bright future. You don’t want to bombard her with letter after letter, saying you need her back. She might get an ego boost out of that type of thing, but it’s not going to make her want you back.
Even if you’ve already written her a few letters, it’s not the end of the world. In any case, she’ll need some space now.
Time will allow you to organize your thoughts, and it’ll allow for her emotions to calm down a bit. Once you’ve been out of touch for a little while, she will also be more inclined to be receptive to your letter. You can begin by using a period of no contact. If you aren’t sure if this would be appropriate in your situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us here.
Once some time has been allowed to pass, you can get back in touch with her with an apology letter.
It will have to include some important elements, so make sure you take the time to sit down and start to map out how you’re going to present the following.
1. How you’ve recognized your own shortcomings
2. Thanking her for helping you recognize them
3. Apologizing for not recognizing them in the relationship
4. The fact that now you understand and you are currently working on rectifying them
5. Communicating how you’re making longterm improvements and finding solutions
You want to paint a positive picture of the future for her. Take your time with this, there is no rush. Organize your thoughts, and make sure that it’s written clearly and concisely. You don’t need to write her ten pages. Two to three will be just fine.
If you would like more in-depth information on how to write the perfect letter, all you need to do is click right here!
Wishing you all the best,
Your coach for knowing how to write an apology letter to your ex girlfriend for hurting her
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