Using the no contact rule is one of the most powerful tools a person can use for making an ex want them back, but it has to be used properly in order for it to yield the results we want! While it is a challenging tool, it is also one of the absolute best. As with anything of true value in life, it requires investment of your time and energy. If you can stick to it, even when you are presented with challenges, you will see that it will make a big difference in your attempt at getting back together with this person.
One of the most common questions I am asked by people who are using this tool is about what to do when an ex contacts you after no contact. This is the person you want to be with after all, so how do you handle this situation?
I wanted to write this article for you so that you can be able to be fully equipped with a game plan when your ex reaches out to you during this period, so let’s get started!
Understanding what No Contact is
As I began saying above, in order for the NC Rule to fully work, it needs to be used correctly. To do so, we need to understand what the no contact rule is exactly.
This tool consists of cutting contact with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend for a predetermined amount of time ranging from about three weeks to three months. The length of time depends on the complexity of the breakup, and if you aren’t sure about how long you should do this, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us right here. We are specialized in getting people back together and work with clients on a daily basis to design and put into motion the most effective action plan possible.
While you use this technique, you are to cut communication entirely. That means no texts, no calls, no likes on Instagram, no DMs, no pokes, no tweets, no emails, no telegrams, no smoke signals, no carrier pigeons, no “accidentally” running into your ex, nada!
If you’re wondering, “Does no contact work,” the answer is yes, if you allow it to give your ex an electroshock. He or she needs to realize what it’s like to suddenly not have you at their beck and call. They’ll come to the realization that they have taken you for granted and you are taking back control.
Human beings have a terrible habit of taking things for granted when they’re easily accessible. Up until now, your ex has probably felt like they can have you around whenever they feel like it – especially if they were the ones to pull the plug on the relationship. When they’re forced to have some distance and time to think, they will start to make some pretty big realizations.
Now the key for making that work is to make sure that you are using this time wisely. While you’re using NC, you’ve got to focus on your own wellbeing and personal development. Now is the time to prioritize making yourself happy and becoming the 2.0 version of yourself. For more in-depth information on how to use the no contact rule and how to bounce back from this breakup so that you can make an even stronger comeback, just click the links!
When an ex contacts you after no contact, here’s what to do!
So when you’ve been using the no contact rule and suddenly your ex reaches out, you might feel panic. You’ve been working on making this person miss you and suddenly they’re trying to get in touch with you… Does it mean it’s working? Is it the perfect opportunity to respond and start to rekindle things between you? Are they mad? Is this making things worse?!
Let’s take a look at what’s going on and how to handle the situation when an ex reaches out during no contact…
My ex reached out during no contact: The Solution
Though you might feel destabilized by this curveball when you’ve been handling your no contact period, I don’t want you to panic. This is very normal and it should actually be expected.
If your ex reaches out during your no contact period, it means that they’ve taken notice of your absence.
Now it’s important to note that every situation is unique. The response to what do to when an ex reaches out during no contact will depend on the nature of the breakup, how things developed, and the mistakes that have been made…
Answering an ex during no contact: If you were too distant in the relationship
Let’s say that part of the reason (or maybe even the entire reason) behind why the relationship ended between you was that you neglected your partner. Perhaps you didn’t make enough time for the relationship or maybe you even had an affair with someone else.
If this was the problem, continuing to ignore him or her would pretty much be the worst thing you can do because you’d be confirming their doubts about your ability to make them happy in the long run.
If this is the case for you, the ideal solution would be to allow for the contact and let your ex know that you’ve been focusing on making improvements in your own life. You’ve learned from this breakup and it has served as a catalyst for very positive change for you.
No contact is hard: What to do if you were needy in the relationship
If you were clingy and needy while you were together, and even if you were begging and pleading your ex to take you back after the breakup took place and they reach out during your no contact period, continuing to ignore them isn’t such a bad thing.
Think about it this way, if you aren’t proud of how you acted in the period of time leading up to the breakup and/or during the aftermath, you can stick to your no contact period without needing to answer him or her.
This can prove to them that you’re making changes.
Answering an ex during no contact: Beware of looking for loopholes!
I know that you want to reply. It’s perfectly normal – this is the person you love and want to be with. It’s very hard to stick to no contact, especially when he or she is reaching out to you!
In this situation, many people will search for loopholes in the rules of how this tool works. The circumstance I explained above is an extreme circumstance, and that is why it is ok to reach out to your ex.
It’s crucial that you are very honest with yourself and can honestly take a step back and take a look at your situation. If you know that you’re just looking for an excuse to get in touch with your ex because you miss him or her, but you were not overly negligent in the relationship, I encourage you to stick to your guns and ride it out.
You’ll see that some investment right now is going to make a world of difference. What is a few more weeks of radio silence compared to a lifetime of happiness with this person?
What to do when your ex reaches out to you during no contact: The simple answer
The entire process of getting an ex back is about self discipline, honesty, and personal development.
You’ve got to be able to put things into perspective and put yourself in your ex’s shoes. If you are able to be very honest with yourself about what’s going on and develop an understanding of what your ex is feeling and how he or she has experienced the breakup, you will be able to pinpoint whether or not you should respond to their attempt to get in touch with you right now.
Sticking with your game plan and not bending the rules will ensure that the odds of getting back together with your ex will be entirely in your favor!
Keep your eye on the prize and the fact that your ex IS reaching out to you is huge. It means that your plan of action is working! It doesn’t matter if they’re contacting you because they want their stuff back, or if they’re making up some silly reason to get in touch with you, the fact of the matter is that they are reaching out. You are on their mind.
At some point, you will need to reestablish contact and when it is the ex in question that is reaching out, it gives us more options!
As this article comes to a close, I want to leave with something very simple: You’re in a good place, so stay on track!
If you need any help at all, you can reach out to us or leave your questions in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the very best,
Your coach when you’re wondering what to do when your ex contacts you during no contact
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!