After a breakup, there are usually two types of situations. You’re either in a conflict with your ex and the breakup didn’t lead to a “calm after the storm”, or you’re lucky enough to be able to have a platonic and healthy relationship after a breakup that “went well.”
We’re going to explore this type of situation today. There is a type of relationship between exes that you may not have been expecting. There is no more love between you but you realize your ex wants to stay friends… and a friendship begins to blossom.
You are, however, taken by surprise at your ex’s attempts to get closer. You’re thinking that this isn’t what you actually want deep down, but this will at least allow you to still be in contact with this person that you care so much about. You’re going to take advantage of this therefore keep in touch.
Whether the situation is making you happy or making you feel anxious, you don’t really know what to do so you’re going to have to put things into perspective before you act. If it’s better to not be in conflict with your ex, does it mean that it’s a good idea to be buddies?!
My ex wants to stay friends! For some people, this idea breaks their heart because they’re still in love with the person and they want to get back together.
For other people it’s out of the question to continue to see their ex, especially not as a friend! Should you really remain friends with an ex as a means of trying to get them back? Keep reading this article and you’ll find out!
Why does my ex want to be friends after we break up?
It’s not uncommon when an ex still wants to be friends after a breakup, but it’s not always easy for the other person to understand. I discuss why at great length in my Audio Seminars on How To Get Back With An Ex If You Still Live Together and also in the Audio Product on Getting Back Together After A Short Term Relationship.
The fact is you’re hurt and you want to be together, and your ex’s proposition to remain close can feel like they’re twisting the knife in the wound. Moreover, you maybe don’t understand why it has to be platonic between you.
There are all kinds of reasons why an ex wants to be friends, but one thing is for sure and that is that they still care about you. At this point we might not know in what way they care for you, but in any case it’s a good sign!
Sometimes an ex wants to keep you nearby simply because you two have become so close, and the bond that exists between you is too precious to just throw away. This can happen with relationships that lasted a long time or a short time.
Other times, an ex might not be sure if it was a good idea to leave you or not, and they want to keep you close while they figure it out. If you’re the one that left, they might be suggesting staying friends because they don’t want everything to end so abruptly.
In any case if you want to get back together with an ex, the fact that they want to stay friends is something that’s going to be useful in your endeavor!
My ex wants to be friends but should I accept?
After a breakup at first glance, staying friends with your ex in order to avoid tension and disagreements would appear logical. However, there are two principal reasons as to why you might not feel very enthusiastic when faced with the idea.
Ex wants to be friends I want more: You don’t want to be Friend-Zoned by the one you love!
This is the most obvious reason. If you’re on this site, you’re looking for solutions in terms of getting back together; not being friends with an ex that left you (or the person that maybe you broke up with.) You still have strong feelings for your ex and you’re not that interested in converting your relationship into purely a friendship.
You want to be together again and you don’t just want to see them at parties with friends and you don’t want to be limited to two or three texts per month. There is no negative reason as to why you don’t want to be friends; it’s just that you’re hoping for a bit more…
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Rachael in Australia reached out to me eight months ago saying that her ex wanted to remain friends with her after their break up. She had accepted this long before she had ever reached out to me, and her motive for calling was that she had realized how hard it was to get out of the friend zone. This new friendly relationship had actually replaced their previous, intimate and exclusive relationship.
Together, we were able to reverse it, but it was an uphill battle from the get-go. Use Rachael as an example that accepting your ex’s request to become friends is sometimes really not the best idea. It can be a hard (but not impossible!) situation to come back from.
Your ex wants to be friends but you don’t want to be in contact anymore
For some people when a relationship ends it means that it’s over and that you’re not supposed to keep seeing each other and be in touch for months or years to come. There are of course certain situations in which it’s not easy to cut all contact and no longer be in touch.
I’m talking about people that have children together and therefore need to communicate who’s going to do what for the kids, or people that share real estate, pets… etc.
If you don’t want to be friends with an ex it’s because you want to move on from your relationship, turn the page, and move on while you rebuild yourself. On top of that, it’s not easy to meet someone new when you’re still seeing your ex.
Staying friends with an ex: Does it work when you’re trying to get back together?
As I’m sure you’ve understood, this article is principally about getting back together. You don’t want to lose your relationship forever and you’re wondering if friendship is a good way to get it back.
First of all if you’re hoping to get back together and it’s looking impossible (probably because you haven’t had a coaching session yet) you should never think, “At least I can be their friend; it’s better than nothing,” or “At least they’ll be by my side.”
If you want to get back with your ex, you have to believe in getting back together! All you have to do is read the testimonies of hundreds of people that get back together with their significant other thanks to all the tools I recommend as well as my eBook on how to make your ex come back.
In longer relationships (meaning those that have lasted over a year that I discuss in another article,) it’s important that after the breakup you make some distance between you using important methods such as radio silence, or “the no contact rule.” It’s hard to imagine friendship without contact. You have to be careful with the friend zone so I suggest a coaching session. You will have to go above and beyond real friendship.
Remaining friends with an ex is not a bad thing; but that doesn’t mean that this should be your goal. For your ex maybe there is no ambiguity but for you it’s simply a way to get closer and to stay in contact. When you’re thinking, “My ex wants to stay friends what should I do,” you’re actually not asking the right question.
When you’ve got an ex that wants to be friends, the very first step is to figure out exactly what you want deep down. Your ex isn’t the one that should determine your actions; you have to follow your heart.
If you want to get back together you have to create a means of getting closer, spending time together, but you’re not going to try to establish friendship. Your focus will be reseducing your ex and that will change everything!
How to be friends with an ex: Is being friends with benefits the magic solution?
You’re thinking that the only way you can get close to your ex again is by getting in bed with them. A lot of women tend to base their attempt at getting back together on sex because they think that it’s the only way to keep a man close. Sometimes you go from being an ex to a friend with benefits very quickly.
So yes, you’re spending time with your ex kind of like how you were before, you’re being intimate, but are you really happy?
As I said, if you want to be together with your ex again, and your ex boyfriend wants to be friends, (even if they say that they don’t have feelings for you anymore), you shouldn’t settle for being their side-chick or their friend with benefits unless this is something that actually makes you happy.
If you are thinking that being buddies with your ex for purely sexual reasons is better than nothing, you risk getting stuck in this position because your exchanges will hold no sentimental value anymore.
It’ll be strictly physical between you. As a general rule, even when you’re saying, “My ex is coming back,” I really recommend that you don’t get in bed with them unless you’re in one particular situation that I explain in my book 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex.
It’s best to use classic methods for rekindling the flame between you and to make your ex understand that you’re not looking for friendship.
Sincerely,
Coach Adrian
Your coach when your ex wants to be friends
74 Responses
my ex says he wants to be friends, that I’m just his “friend”. we broke up 20 days ago. because i was jealous and starting fights and he could not take it. he said i can’t change that fast. he keeps calling me just a friend. he says he does not see me and him in a relationship anymore. he said but he never knows what the future holds he doesn’t even know but right now he is really solid on not ever seeing us as a couple again. we talked in the afternoon and it was really tense he said he would call me back when he got home. He did follow through and called me back. we end up talking for an hour on the phone about random stuff… he kept calling me his friend though. should i accept and be his friend even though i want to get back with him? Will be his friend and talking to him often ruin my chances of getting him back?
Hey,
Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story. Being friends with an ex is not necessarily a bad thing because it provides you with a platform to showcase that you are meant to be. If you are having issues being around him because you can’t control your emotions then perhaps it’s best to ask him for space…but if not pretending to play the friendship card can actually be the quickest way to get back together if you have a plan.
I would love to help you in your endeavor to get back together, don’t hesitate to book a coaching session with me if you are serious about doing everything possible to get him back.
Best of luck in your quest to be with the one you love.
Sincerely,
Adrian
My ex has broken up with me for another guy and she still wants to be friends.
We had a relationship for a year and 3 months, I was the first guy she had such a long relationship with.
All her previous relationships did not last for a month or two…She left me for a guy who was her friend first…our relationship was not good the last weeks and I guess she started loving that friend who is now her boyfriend…
Her friends tell me that these are temporary feelings and that she will miss me because he is not the guy like I am.
They told me it will last for a month and then it will be over with him.
He will go to school tommorow he is 17 and a year younger than us. So she might not see him that often because we will go to university on the same school but other campuses. So i might see her more than she him.
Should I do the ‘no contact rule’ or should I do the same that guy did and be her friend with as goel: comming together again?
Or should I not talk too much but be a friend still ?
I don’t know what do to..pls help me I love her so much.
My ex and I broke up yesterday. He is the type of person to never really talk about his feelings or get emotional about things at all. He said he doesn’t know what happen but he doesn’t feel the spark. This last month was extremely difficult he just bought a new home for himself and has been under a lot of stress with it. He admitted that in the last couple of weeks he began seeing me more of a friend then someone he could also be intimate with. After discussing things because he kept bouncing between not knowing where or when things went wrong, and we got off our chest everything we wanted to say. I asked where do we go from here, he said that he truly still cared, valued, and respected me we always got along amazingly and never fought which is why it made his decision so much harder. He asked that we remain close friends because he still wanted me in his life. I told him unfortunately I couldn’t give that to him because I don’t see him as just a friend. At the end I told him whenever he was ready he could contact me and he said no that he’d wait for me to make the first move on that. When I was leaving he open the door and came to give me a hug and broke down crying on my shoulder, I asked him why he crying and he just looked away and we leaned back in for another hug and he continued to cry. Obviously I still care and love him dearly, we went through a rough time that neither one of us ever expected and honestly didn’t know how to handle. I want to still be in his life but only as his significant other I can not be friends. Is there any hope on rekindling our relationship? if so how would I go about it.
My long distance boyfriend of one year broke up with me 6 days ago. This came as quite a surprise to me. We enjoy the same hobbies, have the same goals in life and we genuinely have a lot of fun together. My work this year has been stressful, which results in me sometimes being a bit on the negative side. This at times also causes me to pick small fights. Since the break up, he has at times acted as if nothing has changed. This was confusing to me and we decided it would be best for him to continue his visit at a mutual friend’s house. During this move, he packed all of his stuff up at my place. He emptied drawers and his closet. He has texted me everyday since we have broken up. He also attended a football game with me that we had tickets to. We had a great time and at the end of it, he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. In a text message yesterday, he indicated that he had purchased some stuff he thought I would like on Amazon. However, today, he mentioned his razor and indicated he had left it and he didn’t want me to throw it away. I am so confused. I feel the distance makes it hard for us to gain a real in site to each other. I love this man with my entire being, and I would be willing to work on my approach to stressful situations. Do you think there is hope, and if so how do I go about it?
If A man is truly in love with you he would not let you get a way because there’s a good chance that he may lose you for good. Why break up? Just find a way to make things work. I been in this situation and the guys moved on but for me it just means that they didn’t love me enough to keep me in their lives. Move on because you’ll find someone that will never ever leave your side. Good luck sweetheart.
I wonder if this goes for deposition during a marriage. I’ve asked my husband to allow me to come back home. After moving out due to argueing about parental skills with our 16 yo daughter. I might have made the mistake to ask him does she want me coming back. bc he interpreted no she doesn’t want to hear the screaming when we are together. I don’t blame her and we are all receiving counseling bc I’m am taking the blame for having a temper. And they are wanting to move on and past all the conflict that occurred while we were a family. It will be a slow process and Ian seeing my faults . Along with their improvement too. I don’t know how long I can endure the sin of separation bc I’m sad not to be hugged by the both of them and in conversation of their lives daily. Please give me an encouraging word.
😢 Duffy Lupe
Hi Stacy,
I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. If your ex wants to stay friends, but you want more than that, I encourage you to dig deeply into the issues of your relationship. Have you considered coaching? I think it will help decipher what happened and how to implement solutions.
I hope this helps,
Coach N.
Hey , so I met my boyfriend when I was in 4th grade .. we didn’t really know what love was but we really really liked eachother .. I am now 15 and we have been together for 4 years . We have always had our ups and downs like crazy but we always be found our ways back to eachother . He broke up with me 4 days ago and said he needed time to think but he’s been telling his friends at school that he don’t want to get back with me &’ well we still stay in touch and he says he just wants to be friends … I really want to be with him because we are older and now know what love is and I have fallen in love with this boy .. when I was 13 I lost my virginity to him and have never done it with anyone else .. He’s even my first kiss and well he also lost his virginity to me and he hasn’t had sex with anyone either . &’ he has met my whole family and I’ve met his . We are always together literally everyday and I even stay at his house or he stays with me . We practically live together and his family loves me and my family loves him like crazy and it hurts so much knowing we’re not together .. I don’t know what to do .. when I travel he always come with me .. we are so so close !! I love this boy and i didn’t do anything to deserve this . He messaged a girl and I got all jealous and started assuming and I guess he got tired of it and that’s why he left me …. but I think that’s a big excuse to just leave me . Will someone please comfort me on this … I don’t know what to do .. he claims to love me but why won’t he get back with me … it’s been 4 days …
Heartbreak is not easy at any age. You are still young and with time this will pass. It ‘s a learning experience for you and him since both of you are still young. Give your self time to heal and care for yourself now. This will build character and help for the next relationship…when you are ready.
My ex and I broke up 3 months ago because she was immature and afraid of commitment. I understood that I did nothing wrong and there’s nothing I could do. We gave ourselves some space to heal and recover. Though, over the previous month, she’s been especially attentive to me such as talking to me about our favorite TV shows and bringing up inside jokes we made during our relationship. It took me by surprise because she was afraid that I still liked her and that’s why she’s been quiet for the other two month. I heard and know that she just wants to be friends but I still have strong feelings for her and I’m already making a plan to propose for a second chance. Help?
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because he just couldn’t get over the fact i cheated on him 3 years ago. i never cheated on him since then but he tells me he still wants to be friends and he will be there for my daughter and I. i love him a lot and i really want us to get back together. Do you think we would have a chance of getting back together in the near future?
My ex an I have been together for over 10 years and during that time there have been some challenges. Up until a year ago someone from his past showed up who was with a husband when she started to engage in flirtatious behavior with the man I have been with. We were having problems when this started to happen because he had to move to Florida to care for his elderly mother. He transfers his job to Florida and we try to keep in touch and keep our relationship going. It has been so hard. The Adultress woman from his past began pursuing my man continuously which created more problems for us. He cares but we have not been abled to be close because he is 1200 miles away. This adultress took advantage of the situation and he gave into her. The only communication if any is emails between him and I. She has consumed so much of his time that I don’t even get phone calls anymore as before…just emails stating how I’m doing and him showing concern every now and then. He cared so much before this adultress came into the picture.
Hi Hilda, I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. In most relationships, if someone is able to get in between the couple, it means that one of the partners felt a disconnect. I encourage you to delve into the details of the issues you two are having. If you can correct them, that woman will vanish. I suggest for you to book a session with either Adrian or myself, so we can help you develop a firm plan of action. Your situation is complex, but fixable. Believe in the process.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi Paul,
I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation. I encourage you to consider what led her to cheating. What was wrong? It’s in the answer that you can salvage the relationship. If you need help identifying the issues or developing a strategy, please feel free to reach out to me and we can have a one-on-one.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
I know why she did it. I stopped being there for her emotionally and it really got to her. I stopped showing her that I cared about her and we just fell into a rut. Plus alcohol was involved which I’m not using as an excuse but to clarify she wasn’t in full state of mind. How can I reach out to you for a one-on-one
Paul, please copy/paste this link into your browser: https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
I’m looking forward to connecting.
Best,
Coach N.
Hi, my self and my boyfriend broke up 4 days ago (worst four days of my life) he said that he didn’t love me anymore and that we were just to different and he didn’t see a future for us.
just sent me a message saying: Hey Jason. I hope you are ok. Honestly.
Not sure if i should text you or leave you so if you want i will shut up.
But I genuinely hope we can still be friends
Albeit one day
Sorry that wasn’t fair. I will leave you. I’m sorry
to which i replied: i’m okay, hope your okay too, just need to deal with my own issues right now, Just need time.
to which he replied i completely understand. we were together 11 months. please give me some tips to get him back because i love him so much
Hi Jason,
Thank you for your share. I know how painful it can be when your ex wants to stay friends, especially so soon after a breakup. However, if you want him back, you’ll have to resolve the issues that triggered the breakup. If you need help identifying what those are, I invite you to book a session with me. I’m here to support. Let’s fix this.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
My ex invited me to see him briefly then said he missed me a little then after talking to him he said he wants to be friend so I told him leave me alone I have enough friends what should I do
Hi Adrian,
It’s been about 2 months since we broke up and she broke up with me cuz first she slept with her ex once and that started things to go downhill from there. But then she left me cuz she found a guy and left me for him. A month later things broke between them when he left her and we were back talking after no contact during that time. We’ve been talking almost daily since we restarted talking however we aren’t the same as we were before. I’ve gotten to know that she’s been talking to a lot of guys and even slept with one. When she told me about that she told me that she wanted to have sex with me and I said I can’t have sex with you because we’re not dating anymore. And apparently she got turned off by that. And today I tried to talk sexually in order to create sexual attraction, she blocked me off by saying I turned her off with that and ruled everything out and now we’re strictly a platonic friendship. I don’t know what to do about that but I’m patient for now and I’m keeping faith that things might change. I plan on seeing her next week but she saying nothing’s going to happen now between us. I want to know what I can do to turn this around. She’s usually very stubborn because all her previous committed relationships have been a wreck. I want to regain that sexual attraction with her and then later have a committed relationship with her. I just need some guidance and help in this matter. I know I made a mistake in saying no because I was turned off at that point when she said she had sex with someone else. Im willing to let that go but I want to know what I should do and avoid in order to regain that attraction.
Hi Dan,
Thank you for your share. Adrian would be more than happy to guide you on how to implement a sexual attraction back into your relationship with your ex. I invite you to book a session and he’ll connect with you. You’re in great hands.
Sincerely,
Coach N.
Hi,
My ex and i broke up after being together for a month. He said that he felt like we were moving too fast after we had both agreed that it felt right. He also told me how he needed time to heal from him hurting in his last relationship and how he didn’t give himself enough time. He said that he needed time to work on hisself and that he felt like he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I feel like I’ve been the best towards him and he even told me i was the best he’s ever had. He even said that he would love to stay good friends but i didnt know if i could handle it so after having a simple conversation i told him i had to go. We didn’t talk for 3 days until he texted me. He was being somewhat boring so i didn’t respond back. I’m still kinda hurting from the breakup so as much as i want to talk to him i dont know if i should. He texted me the next day because i didn’t respond and i asked him why was he texting me. He said he didn’t know and then came back and told me he wanted to see how i was doing. I later told him that i was still trying to move on and that i didn’t know if i could be friends with him yet. In my mind I’m thinking that he misses me just like how i miss him. As days go by I’m not really angry at him for hurting me anymore and I’m trying to find a way for us to reconnect because i dont think his feeling for me are gone. If i decide to be good friends do you think there is a chance I’m able to get him back ? Any tips or helpful advice you can give me ?
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for your share. You’ve posed some great questions here. I certainly think that, based on that fact that he’s reached out to see how you’re doing post break up, there’s a chance to turn this around. I encourage you to hang out with him soon, go in via the friend route and see if the spark is still there.
Best,
Coach N.
My ex and I recently broke up 2 months ago. We had a fight and instead of working it out admitting I was wrong I left. The last few weeks we have became good friends and we’ve hung out and I’ve went over to her house to see her kids. We even went out to lunch today and she let me drive the kids home because they wanted to go with me. We talk to each other daily and I’ve mentioned before that I was sorry and that I loved them and all I wanted was another chance. She’s never flat out said yes but she doesn’t seem opposed to the subject either. Need some help here
Hi Chris,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I think it’s important for you to spend some time apart from your ex. Let her miss you and let her notice how much you contributed to her life and family. I feel if you go about it this way, you’ll get the chance you’re looking for.
best,
Coach N.
Me and this girl have been talking and seeing for 10 months. Not really official but we were ‘exclusive’. She pretty much ended ‘us’ because we had a huge fight and I was being too dramatic and too sensitive that she couldn’t handle it anymore. That day I apologize to her because of my actions and she told me that she needed time to think about things and that even though it’s over between us she still wants us to talk and hangout. I said yes but in the back of head there’s no way I would be in the ‘friend zone’ this was a week ago. 2 days after NC I was spending time with my kids and saw my phone that I had a missed FaceTime call. I told her sorry I was busy spending time with my kids and she kinda made an excuse that she pressed my name accidentally. After that we never made contact until yesterday at work when she texted me that she has left over food for me if I was hungry. 8i said yes and we met up somewhere at work and gave me the food. I didn’t really know what to feel we just kinda said how things are going and hugged and that was it. I know she dumped me and all. What kills me is I know she’s the type of girl who can move on right away. She’s a beautiful girl that all men want. We both fell in love and now I don’t know where I stand. I want to move on since I feel like I really don’t deserve her or I don’t have a future when it comes to her. Should obliged her to be friends or should I just Continue NC? Also what if the next time she sent me a message? Should I reply or not? I really need a good advice
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago. A week after the breakup I had to gather some of my belongings from his house, I made the horrible mistake asking if he ever saw us getting back together. He said “no”. He said that this was the best relationship and most honest one he has ever had but he feels like we are meant to be friends. The spark went away and the relationship got a little complacent. He still has a few of my belongings and said that I can get them down the road. (I guess he didn’t feel like searching for them)
When I got home upset, the next day I told him that I would have a friend pick up the rest of my belongings and that I can’t see us as friends. I haven’t contacted him in 3 days now and don’t plan on contacting him for a least a month. He as well hasn’t contacted me about my belongings, so I am just gonna let it be. Any advice or hope. I am not ready for this to be done, I feel like he is confused at what he wants.
Hi Mara,
Thank you for your share and I’m glad to hear you’ve gone into no contact. That will be so important for you now. However, what you do (in front of him and not) will be REALLY important if you want to turn this around. We can help. I invite you to book a coaching session with Coach Adrian or myself.
Wishing you the very best in this,
Coach N
I tried no contact and lasted 3 days! Although we were in contact throughout the week and spent every weekend together so it feels like my life has just been ripped away. I caved in and contacted him last night really upset and crying. I wish I hadn’t as he just reiterated that it’s over. He says wants to help me through the break up and will stay friends or I can phone him when I need to and I’ll get stronger each time. He says we’re a toxic mix and that there was more than one reason he split up with me. I feel so hopeless and needy. I’ve other major stresses in my life right now and just can’t cope with this as well. I can’t accept it’s over even though I want to as from his point of view it definitely is over. He doesn’t love me and never has. Should I just forget him and move on. Any advice is welcome.
Thanks
Hi Elle,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. In order to answer this question, you’ll have to reflect on what broke up the relationship. Is it fixable? There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around. I invite you to schedule a 1 hour coaching session with me.
Best,
Coach N
My ex and I broke up, we went two months with no contact and recently the month of May we started to talk again and got closer together. I helped him with one issue and continue being friends. He approach me with a kiss but the following day we acted like nothing happen. Now we see each other often as friends. We never had a closure with each other, so yesterday I decided to have that closure so I can feel better because I still care for him and want to be with him. But he said that he wants to be friends, and hopes I don’t change cause he still care for me. He mention he who knows if he opens his eyes or see if to make things work he will try if I am still willing to do it. But that he is not telling me to wait for him. That killed me when he was telling me this. Not sure why he wants to stay friends with him. What should I do? should I refuse being his friend? or stay close to him.
Hi Jackie,
Thanks for reaching out.
I can’t help you in this way because I work a bit differently than most coaches. I like to understand all the intricacies of a given situation before providing insights and to make sure I provide you with the most appropriate way forward based on your current circumstances.
I know from experience that you need tailored support and a list of concrete steps to take to reach your goal. To get there we’ll need to dedicate time and interact in the most optimal way possible to have the desired results and truly maximize your chances of success.
To that end, I invite you to book a coaching session with me (1h00 hour would be the most ideal). After that it will be easier for me to continue to provide you with advice via email, but for now you’ll understand that it’s a bit difficult for me to advise you appropriately without knowing every relevant detail of your story.
Here is the link to book a coaching session:
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
I promise to speak to you as soon as possible after you complete your booking. The goal of this session will be for us to asses where you truly stand and to provide you with a clear road map to get back together…
Best,
Coach N
Hi me and my ex broke up about a month ago it was kind of messy she cheated on me throughout our relationship we had a house together lost a baby at the start of the relationship, because she cheated on me I started speaking to other girls while in the relationship (we was engaged) because I couldn’t trust her anymore I essentially was looking for a way out anyway she finished me because she said she loved me but wasn’t in love with me the break up was quite messy and I got angry we didn’t talk for 3 weeks and now she’s saying she wants to be friends she calls me every night and says that she wants me to sleep with someone too get her to know how it feels and said we could get back together sometime this year is she playing me or is she being genuine we still have all our belongings at each other’s houses including our house stuff e.g. Tables, chairs pots and pans I want her back but she said that she’s not ready yet how do I go about this
Hi Sam,
Thank you for reaching out to me and for sharing your story.
There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around.
I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
Coach N.
How and how much? Thank you
Hi Sam,
Here is the link to book a coaching session:
https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
The goal of this session will be for us to asses where you truly stand and to provide you with a clear road map to get back together. Once you book, I’ll reach out ASAP to get you sorted and scheduled.
Best,
Coach N
Hi Alexandra,
There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around.
I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
Coach N.
My gf broke up with me because she thinks we don’t have mutual understandings. We r very close to each other. Aftr 3 months she approached wth friendshp wat to do?
Hi Honey,
Thank you for reaching out to me and for sharing your story.
I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
Coach N.
My bf broken up with me because I was going to fast but the problem is we broken up after we had a really great weekend together so how can I get him back without looking desperate and needy
Hi Christy,
I’m Coach Natalie, thanks for tuning into our YouTube channel. I’m really caught up with work today, because at 1PM EST today, we’re hosting a free live webinar on how to secure a date with your ex after the breakup. If you’re free in just over an hour, I invite you to tune in – I feel you’ll gain some additional insight on your situation. Here’s the link: https://app.webinarjam.net/login/12738/c3c54a57ee/-1/live
Hoping to meet you soon,
Coach N
Dear Coaches,
My name is Alexis Witowski and I’m a 17 year old from Illinois. My boyfriend of 3 and a half years just left me last week and I’m really looking to get him back. The reason he left was based on many fights and name calling over the past couple months. It was admittedly abusive between the both of us, but we’d always apologize after every fight. This time he just couldn’t take it and I hate knowing that if I had just been a better person before, he wouldn’t have left. I need to clean up my mistakes and I’ve already screwed up. I begged for him the first couple nights and he keeps telling me to stop trying. He doesn’t want a relationship he says and part of me has a feeling he will eventually have remorse in the future. He wants to be friends still and so far, it hasn’t been too bad. I have texted him a lot, though, and I’m not sure if that’s pushing him away or not. I’m also unsure if it’s our best interest to still try the no contact rule. He hasn’t cried too much about the situation and he seems to be doing okay on his own. He hasn’t made any attempts to find anyone new and all he does is sleep and game all day. He looks miserable, in fact, he says that no matter what he’s in a constant state of misery. I’m doing fairly well knowing that we need time apart, but I’m still looking forward to a healthier future with him. Despite everything, we’ve been able to get through the toughest times. You may have heard this countless times, but I do not have the money for coaching. I’d appreciate a little guidance even if it is the smallest amount. He means a lot to me. Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Alexis Witowski
Hey, my girlfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago and said we could be friends, but I want to be much more than that. I accepted the friendship, but am now confused as to why she wants me near. She says she doesnt feel the same way about me as I do her. Can I still get her back?
Hi Bas,
Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry for this tricky situation. However, sometimes easing in as friends can be really helpful. I invite you to schedule a session with me so we can discuss! I’d love to help.
Best,
Coach N
Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. We had been together for two years and we didn’t have any issues but he said he wanted to break up because he wanted to be you, hes scared to be with one person for the rest of his life and he just doesn’t want a girlfriend right now. I did the no contact rule and he messaged me once to say he was at a diner we used to like. After no contact I initiated contact and he replies a second later and is interested to talk to me and even said he had been sexually frustrated and asked for pictures from me. I had made sure to always be positive, upbeat and show him how I’m more confident and career driven. However, he then ignored me for a couple of days and is now saying that he doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea by us talking aka just being friends.
Do I have any hope or should I give up? I love him so much and thought he was the one.
Please help 🙁
Hi Francesca,
Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. In my opinion, this can be salvaged, but it’ll require a delicate and tailored approach. I invite you to schedule a session with Coach Adrian or myself – we’d love to help!
Best,
Coach N.
Me and my x are moving out of state together my situation is extremely complicated as we are moving from NJ to Randle Washington but after 12 years living and sleeping together we are doing it as best friends and roommates it’s killing me I love him so much and in our current situation it’s impossible to do no contact I have spent some time at my mom’s house to give him space but we live in on room sleep in the same bed I drive him to his jobs it’s a part time job for me then I go to work so I am with him a lot oh and he’s got a new girlfriend they started dating 2 days after we broke up but she’s in Spain they have never met oh and 3.5 weeks ago I had a miscarriage and 3 weeks ago a car accident so my stress is just getting bigger we planned to be married. How can I use the new place to get closer to him
Hi Yolanda,
Thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. This one sounds really tough. I want you to try your best to try a modified version of no contact. Let him miss you and try to detach in the ways you’re able. If you want more specific advice, I invite you to schedule a session with me.
Wishing you the best,
Coach N.
I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 months ago after being together for almost a year. he said that he wanted to explore and cheat and wasn’t ready to commit. he said that he loved me and respected me enough that he couldnt lie or cheat and fool around with other people while he was with me. He wants us to stay friends but is it possible that he may come back to me after doing what he has set out to do. i still love him and the break up still hurts so bad i find myself tearing up every time i think of him.
Hi Sasha,
I think you should give the situation space, and spend time apart and then re-assess the situation with him. Don’t let him have his cake and eat it too, it can have a negative effect.
Best,
Coach N.
My ex and I had no contact for a week. she reached out to me after she heard a song we both liked. We have talked a lot over the past few weeks, pretty much everyday. I put it out there again and she said she can’t do anymore than friends right now. Do I go to no contact again or remain friends with her and try to get her to date me again?
Hi Connor,
Thanks for reaching out. I feel the approach here will be determined by the length of the relationship. If it was on the shorter side, I would stay no contact and then try to reset.
I hope this helps!
Best,
Coach Natalie
My ex seems happier without me. I love him too much to lose him. What can i do?
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for reaching out. I’m sure that your ex isn’t as happy as you feel he is. Remember, he’s in a breakup too. Give him time. If you want to turn this around, I invite you to schedule a coaching session, I would love to connect with you.
Best,
Coach Natalie
My ex ended it after 3 years, started talking to a girl he’s known for 10-15 years but still wants to be friends with me. When I say it’s too hard knowing u kissed her or whatever then he blows up at me and gets mad cuz I tell him being friends his hard. I still love him and he still texts my mom and I talk to his. I am just so confused .
Hi Natalie!My ex contacted me 1 month ago after 3 month no contact.We broke up due to a heated argument in May.We meet up agreed to be friends first to start over.He asked me to Prom and I said yes.At the first weeks he was so in to it,we went with his group of friends and we had a really good time.He brought up the starting over topic but said that is is a though decision even if Both of us want it at some point.The dance lessons started and he began to pulling away when I acted nervous around him.He told me he lost the emotional connection and sees me as just a friend.Recently we only talk on dance lessons and he is curious about my dating life.
Ok so I have an ex named Jayden and he wanted to still be friends and I say ok then a month later he asked if I wanted to get back togethor with him but I like one of his friends named joshua but he’s dating someone so I try to stay away but my buff said he loves me too but he’s dating and he is also friends with my ex what should I do
Hello Melissa,
Thank you for you comment. I Invite you to do some self-reflection here and ask yourself a couple questions pertaining to your relationship. Do you think that this is the right man for you? Also, what personal feeling may come up for you now that he just wants to be friends? I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Natalie or Adrian.
Sincerly,
WMEA Team
Hello Nikki,
Thank you for your comment. I encourage you to give him some space at the moment and maybe try out the no contact for 3-6 weeks and focus on something you are passionate about.
Best,
Coach Natalie
Julian,
Thank you for your comment. The box is already sent so instead of doubting it I suggest you just be confident and positive about it when she approaches you about it. Dont apologize again but just be confident in your approach.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Leed,
I would keep up with the no contact and focus on you moving forward. See if she ends up coming around.
Best,
WMEA Team
Me and my ex broke up for over a year and some time last year I called to know if she could still accept me back but she insisted we were to be only friends and she now flirts around with men but I still love her and want her back
Susan,
Thank you for your comment. In this situation I would invite you to do some self-reflection and ask yourself why you would want a man in your life that can not fully commit and telling you, you are “2nd option”. It seems as though he is completely unstable so asking yourself why you are attracted to this is vital to your growth in a future relationship. I think putting your foot down and understanding you deserve better and making that known is important to you and your ex.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Ellie,
I have just the thing for you. https://www.withmyexagain.com/audio-ressources/
This will answer a lot of your questions you are referring to above.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Kiara,
You deserve to have a man fell 100% committed to you. Since things were going fast in your relationship it may have resulted to this outcome. The best you can do right now is focus on yourself move forward and show him a new you. Workout, involve yourself in activities that you enjoy, and be social.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hello Kobe,
I suggest for you to work on your self-confidence. If you don’t the same pattern will arise. We can help you do this with a private coaching session. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching . Personal development is going to be key here towards getting your ex back.
Best,
WMEA Team
My ex and I went separate ways about 3 months ago and it was not mutual. We dated for 3 years, and during the 3 years, he asked for break up thrice.
First 2 times, he initiated it but later on, he contacted me during no contact and said he wanted to get back together, and we patched up because we wanted to work things out. After a week of the first breakup, he said he was sorry that he took me for granted and after the second time, he said he was sorry and that he values me enough not to see me disappear (he asked to be friends during the second breakup but I said no). The third time was last November and I told him I cannot keep doing this anymore as it hurts me deeply. The reason he gave for all three times for asking separation is that he doesnt know what he wants and it’s not you it’s me. 1 1/2 month of NC later after the 3rd breakup, he reached out just before New Year’s Day stating that he wonders if things could have been different, that he has caused me pain and he still hopes to be friends and that I am a dearly beloved friend to him. I am the kind of person who can’t be friends with an ex, it doesn’t make sense after we shared beautiful times together; it’s either we are in or we are not. Strange thing is that a week or two before our third breakup, we just celebrated his birthday and visiting his friends for gatherings, and all seemed normal.
I have not responded back during NC 30 days and also after he reached out as I am still healing and building myself up. I treasure and cherish our relationship and I want to give our relationship another chance and the fact he hopes to be friends saddens me, it feels like I meant less to him all this while.
Throughout our 3 year relationship, we do communicate to work things out and I also picked up positive habits from him as we did abit of volunteer work and has made a positive impact on me ever since. Thank you for reading this, as frankly, I really don’t know how to respond to him when he reached out.
I was in no contact with my ex for 4 weeks. He reached out to me occasionally during no contact, and we were friendly. However, I recently blocked him on all social media because I saw pictures of him out with women, and I felt hurt. He texted me asking why I blocked him. He said he still wants to be friends and talk to me. I still have feelings for him and I don’t know if I can handle being just friends. What should I do?
Hello Sarah,
I would suggest for you to take your time. Give yourself space from him so you can become emotionally strong and then make your decision. I believe a friendship would be great you just have to make sure you showcase a new you when you are developing a friendship. Happy, confident, and positive.
Best,
WMEA Team
My boyfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. He was in midst of divorce had went to lawyers both him & wife wanted the divorce & was separated. Come to find out she had talked with him after his kids had a mtg at school. He still had contact with her because of the children, never did I see him leaving because he would say how unhappy he was with her. We both loved each other, him telling me first & fell in love within a short time. Never felt so strongly for a man felt different than other relationships. Mind you I’m also divorced for 5yrs now. He has ignored me when I tried calling/texting to drop off rest of his things. Didn’t get chance to talk when he initially got his things because I got upset & angry by that time he was out the door. He says he is really sorry for trying to rebuild his family but says thinks it’s right decision. Why can’t he talk to me on unanswered questions I have? Think of him everyday but I haven’t texted or called since I left his things. He texted me on things I had left, saying the letter was very kind thoughtful words. If he thought he would’ve got back together he wouldn’t have got involved with anyone that he was sorry he hurt me. I feel he went back for his children but may still have feelings for me why he can’t face me, better to avoid to try to forget to move on for his family but how is that healthy…he even told me he never seen this coming that they would get back together. Why it’s left me so confused & want answers. Any suggestions if I should try to contact him & how… Missing him!
Thanks for the help!
Hello Confused,
You might not like our answer but the best thing to do in this very moment is give your ex space. No contact is going to be the best thing for you to do at this very moment. We have a blog that helps you with the step by step process here. I know you can do it! https://www.withmyexagain.com/guides/no-contact-rule/
Best,
WMEA Team
My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago bc he feels like he’s holding me back. He said he needed to go find himself. He still wants to be friends and we talk almost daily. I told him that I want to give it another go but he said he feels that he doesn’t want that with me or anyone right now.
Alex,
It’s challenging when an ex-partner wants to stay friends, especially so soon after a breakup. It’s important to respect his need to find himself, as difficult as that may be. Continuous daily communication might be preventing you both from fully processing the breakup. Consider taking some time apart to focus on your own growth. If you’re still finding it hard to navigate this situation, a private coaching session might offer more tailored advice.