Radio Silence : The new and improved no contact rule to get back with an ex!

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The no contact rule is a concept that was developed some time ago in order to make an ex miss you and want to get back together following a breakup. My mentor Alexandre Cormont and I studied this idea and tested different variations of this concept over a period of 7 years! We recognized that no two breakups are alike and every relationship is unique; so we tried to adapt this concept to provide a tailored made approach for the more than 15,000 people who have reached out to us since 2007.

Ultimately our experience has led us to create a new and improved form of the no contact rule; a technique that Alexandre Cormont coined the radio silence. In this modern version of the no contact rule developed in France we were able to weave out all of the unnecessary elements in order to provide you with a simple yet very powerful 12 step plan.

A radio silence if implemented in the right way will help you shift the balance of power in your favor following a breakup.

It is our pleasure to be able to share with you this unique 12 step plan to implement a perfect radio silence; It will enable you to regain control and not let your emotions dictate your next move. With this amazing road map you will have a renewed sense of direction and know exactly what you need to do to change the way your ex feels about you!

As relationship experts our passion is in helping individuals get back with the person they love most. We offer private coaching sessions and have created numerous self help programs to help you achieve your goal of being with the one you love!

Enjoy it and good luck in your quest to be with your soulmate!

Adrian & Alex

Relationships experts from the Love Coach Team at

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A 12 step plan to implement a perfect Radio Silence

It may not be the first time that you read about the no contact rule, but I am almost positive that it is the first time that you will see a detailed 12 step plan to implement a perfect radio silence following a breakup. As I always tell the people that I coach on a one to one basis, it is never good to do a copy paste when it comes to advice that you find on the internet to get back with your ex.

Although our 12 step plan is the result of years of work we also encourage you to adapt our advice to the specificity of your current situation. If you are sure that one of these steps will be counterproductive to you than skip it!

This is only to serve as a guide and to provide you with a road map in order for you to know where you are going when you start to implement your radio silence to ultimately get back with the one you love.

That said make sure that you don’t cut corners or try to go too fast in this process. If the person that you are trying to get back with is that important to you, take all the time that you need to implement this radio silence the right way. If you do, it will change your life forever and drastically increase your chances of getting back with your ex.

If you feel that you need extra support to get back with your ex, or to be coached to get back with the one you love than reach out to me in order for us to work together! It would be my pleasure to guide you and help you meet your goals.

The no contact rule may be the key to getting back with the one you love

The no contact rule is a fantastic way to go into damage control following a break up and figure out the right answer to the question you’ve surely been asking yourself: how do I make my ex want me back. It is so easy to let your emotions get the best of you and to do or say things that you will end up regretting after your ex tells you that your relationship is over. In order to implement it the right way you need to know why you are taking a step back; that is precisely what we will explain to you throughout the next 12 steps that you will discover here.

Step 1: Avoid making more mistakes

One of the primary purposes of putting in place a no contact period is to avoid making mistakes. We are going begin with the assumptions that you have already made some mistakes because more than 95% of the people that we coach have made major mistakes at some point in their relationship.

By challenging yourself not to contact your ex for a pre-determined period of time you will force yourself to take a step back and ensure that you not say or do something that you will later regret. It is a lot easier to ruin your chances of convincing your ex to give you another chance than it is to make your ex fall in love with you again in the days or weeks following a breakup.

So the first step is to make sure that you hold yourself accountable and not reach out to your ex in any way shape or form during the no contact period that you will have set. For relationships that lasted more than a year, the radio silence should not last less than 3 weeks.

In some case we advise that people go even longer when big mistakes were made either before, during or in the days following the breakup.

For those of you coming out of short relationships that lasted less than a year, 10 days of no contact can be a good starting point.

Step 2: Give your ex space

If your ex broke up with you the odds are that they did so because they needed space. A breakup means separation. Do yourself a favor and give your ex what they so desire! A no contact rule is also destined to make your ex face their decision to break up with you. As long as you are texting, calling or reaching out your ex cannot truly understand what it’s like to be single.

When someone breaks up they always believe that the grass is greener on the other side of fence. They have no problem envisioning all the benefits that come with being single. Your ex probably craves that freedom and the feeling of being back on the open market. Indeed a world of opportunity a waits.

What your ex fails to realize is that it’s very easy to feel lonely or to experience an emotional gap following a breakup. You will leave behind a pretty big emotional empty space that your ex will feel pretty soon after you stop reaching out. At best it will make your ex realize how much they miss you and need you.

At worse it will give your ex space to rethink the way that they perceived your relationship. A bit of perspective can’t hurt since you are already broken up!

Step 3: Remember that a no contact rule is also meant to understand what went wrong

Most people tend to forget that a no contact period is not just implemented to have an effect on an ex; it’s also done to have an impact on you! If you are serious about trying to get back together you will need to take the time to understand what went wrong in your previous relationship in order not to make the same mistakes again the next time around.

Don’t just look at the surface or stay stuck on the same basic issues that you faced as a couple. Try to dig deeper to really understand what the forces that drove you both apart really were. A simple yet very powerful exercise is to list all of the issues that you faced as a couple on a sheet of paper.

Don’t neglect anything! List every possible conflict or major issue that you faced. Something that may seem small or insignificant to you may in fact be the straw that ultimately broke the camel’s back for your ex!

No contact after breakup will provide you with fresh perspectives

Another issue that most people face during or after a breakup is that they are entangled in a negative spiral. It’s so easy to be depressed or to feel sorry for yourself when you lose the person that you love. Forcing the issue and trying to stay in contact with them immediately following the separation only creates more negativity and frustration.

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In turn this can lead to inaction, to a lack of drive and to stay stuck moving in a downwards trend. But gaining a bit of distance and separation can give you a renewed sense of purpose and fresh perspectives about how to get back with your ex.

Personal development is truly at the heart of any successful attempt at making things right with a significant other. I explain how to go about evolving in the most efficient way in my Audio seminars How To Get Her Back and How To Get Him Back.

Step 4: Come up with a road map to meet your goal

It is so important to have a road map as you get ready to face your ex again to ultimately have a clear sense of exactly what you need to do to get back with the one you love. When I speak about a game plan there are three essential aspects that I will want you to pay special attention too. The rest will be optional and up to you to figure out if you want to incorporate those different elements into your strategy.

You must have a communication strategy before you break your silence. Know how you plan to engage with your ex and when. This will enable you to regulate your approach but also to make sure that you will not be reactionary but rather take the lead to bring the dynamics of your conversations with your ex on a field of play that will be beneficial to you.

You also want to ensure that you include actions to your game plan that will force you to act against your natural way of being or of doing things. Don’t always act as you normally would; or do what you normally would do. Force yourself to try to be different with your ex because staying true to who you were at the end of your relationship did not end up working out!

Finally make sure that you take a goal minded approach in your quest to get back with your significant other. You must set daily, weekly and monthly goals in order to monitor your progress and hold yourself accountable. Stray away from abstract goals such as; I need to be a more caring boyfriend or I need to be a chiller girlfriend.

On the contrary you must include a when and a how as you plan to meet specific objectives. For example tell yourself “I will cook a special and different meal every Wednesday night” or “I will no longer call him during the weekends past 10 pm to find out where he is and who he is with”.

If you fail to live up to your goal, you will know right away that you are off track and that you need to pick up the slack!

Step 5: Rebuild your self-confidence and your self-esteem

If your ex is the one who broke up your ego probably took a hit; or you may be completely shattered and feel like a part of you was lost. No contact after breakup can help you snap out of this emotional blockage and regain some self-esteem before you are forced to see your ex again.

guylookingtocommit You need to come to terms with the fact that you will not be able to convince your ex to get back together if you are unsure yourself of your capacity to make them happy in the long run!

Let’s not kid ourselves getting back with an ex can be a challenge sometimes; and you will need to be resilient and have enough faith in yourself to put in the time and effort needed to reach your goals.

Deciding to implement a no contact after breakup policy is a good start but you can look to regain some self-esteem in a variety of ways. Different techniques work better for different people depending on your personality and culture.

The best advice that I can give you is to stretch your comfort zone at every opportunity that you get. It will make you feel good once you have overcome an obstacle; and you will slowly start to realize that you can continue to breakdown more and more barriers.

Reach out to me if need be, it would be my pleasure to work with you to ensure that you regain a sense of confidence and to provide you with the support you need during your no contact period!

Step 6: No contact after a breakup can help you find solutions to avoid making the same mistakes

Another essential step is to be able to find solutions to ensure that you will not make the same mistakes but also to showcase your change. If you don’t take the time to clearly highlight how and when you plan to implement certain actions in your daily life you will simply not know where to start. Furthermore it is so easy to get sidetracked or to try to cut corners along the way.

The best way to stay accountable to you and to the one you love is to use the period of no contact after a breakup to write down a list of concrete actions that you will start to implement right away. You should go back to the exercise that you have started in step 3 and find multiple potential solutions or actions to undertake to address each problem previously identified.

Please don’t gloss through this step and really take the time to put in the work. If you don’t do this right you run the risk of running into the same problems and being right back into the same situation that you are currently in; even if you do manage to get back with the one you love. Have you ever met couples that have gone through four, five or even six breakups?

Yep, those people did not take the time to see this exercise through before giving it another shot!

No contact after a break up also affects your ex!

Although it is important to start by highlighting the value that a no contact period after a break up can have on you and your own growth; let’s not forget that your radio silence will also have a very powerful effect on your ex! At this stage your ex feels that they know you and that you are incapable of changing or surprising them.

But being able to take a step back will plant a seed of doubt in the way that your ex feels about you.

This approach (when done in the right way) will slowly start to shift the balance of power in your favor!

Step 7: Create a feeling of absence or loss for your ex

Your ex thinks that they know what they want and it’s to be single. It is very easy to quickly see the positives that come with a new found freedom. It’s also a lot simpler to see the issues and frustration experienced in a relationship, rather than all of the positive aspects that you bring to the table. Humans by nature always want what they can’t have!

So make your ex really face the separation; don’t reach out to them every other day to remind them that you are here waiting for them to change their mind. If you do so you will never make them face the realities that come with being single.

Don’t give them the best of both worlds; and no contact after break up can ensure that they face their choice and start to experience the emptiness left by your absence. I am absolutely positively sure that you must have brought some sort of emotional comfort and stability to your ex one way or another.

Shutting off all contact or reassurance from one day to the next will make your ex face the fact that they are about to lose you for good!

I often get asked “how can I implement a successful radio silence if I still live with my ex; if we have kids together; or even if we work together”. The answer is quite straight forward; you don’t have to completely shut down and not speak to your ex at all to show a change; or that you have distanced yourself from them!

If you have kids together, make sure that you stay positive around the children and that you cooperate with your ex on all issues that are centered around your kids.

Same thing, if you work together you need to stay professional and work with your ex in order to do your job efficiently. You need to separate your professional tasks to your personal business in order to keep it together! But at the same time, you don’t have to engage with him at all in regards to all other matters.

If you are forced to live with your ex, you can also just not give them the same attention as you might have in the past! Your ex will see a contrast in your behavior right away and your radio silence will have its intended affects.

Step 8: Change your look to reinforce the notion that you have evolved

The point here is not to go crazy and completely change your wardrobe. I am simply encouraging you to go out and buy those pants or that dress that you have been thinking about for a few weeks now. Or to go ahead and buy yourself a new suit just because!

Purchasing new clothes with the purpose of adding a new touch to your look will have a snowball effect and help you get closer to getting back with the one you love in several ways.

First of all if you look good and feel good, you will gain confidence and self-esteem. We have already detailed at great length the importance of believing in yourself in step 5; so going out of your way to look good will make you feel better and thus be subconsciously more confident the next time you see your ex!

Again, no need to go crazy here or to go out and spend more than you can afford too. But within reason, make yourself happy and buy a few items that will enable you to feel renewed.

Changing your look will also showcase that you have evolved. Your ex probably knows every piece of clothes that you own. They will notice it right away, and they will know that something about you as changed. You can even take it a step further and go for a new haircut or hairstyle. Make sure you go for something different, but something that you love and that will make you happy…not insecure!

This way the next time that you communicate with your ex following a no contact period your physical appearance and look will reinforce the notion that you are indeed a new you.

Step 9: No contact in itself will enable you to surprise your ex

If you are able to control your emotions and not reach out to your ex following a break up the odds are that you will surprise your ex. They probably expect you to plea and beg; They know that you love them and want nothing else than to be together. They expect you to chase them! But you won’t do any of that. You will come up with a plan and really think about the way that you intend on communicating with them

I constantly remind people that I coach that no contact is an action; inaction is an action when it comes to getting back with an ex! You will not only be able to surprise your ex by not reaching out but you will also put yourself in position to regain control of the process of getting back together. It will be your choice not to reach out or speak to your ex at this point not the other way around.

In essence you will put yourself in position to start to tilt the balance of power in your favor!

A radio silence can enable you to come full circle and start a new and improved relationship with your ex

Forget trying to get back with your ex! Your goal should be to engage in a new relationship that will enable both of you to break away from your past failed love story. Your ex doesn’t want to get back with you anyways she wants to fall in love with the person that inspired them at the beginning of your relationship.

Get in the mindset of starting something new with the one you love following your radio silence; it is truly the best way to ensure that you won’t fall into the same pitfalls the next time around!

Step 10: Showcase your resurrection

One you have decided to reestablish communication with your ex following your radio silence your goal should be to showcase your resurrection. You don’t want to overdo it because you will need to remain credible; but you absolutely must show to your ex that what you have just gone through has brought about an unprecedented change in your life.

It is absolutely essential that you position this resurrection as a change done for you and for your own stability and well-being. Although the breakup and her input may have triggered your reflection, you have decided to change in order to make yourself a better and happier person.

Your ex will not want to hear that you are doing things just to get back with them. And they will be very skeptical about anything that seems different when it comes to your personality or behavior. That is why it is absolutely essential for you to do the work and to really evolve. If you try to trick your ex, they will notice it over time. You won’t be able to sustain a fake change.

So how can you showcase your resurrection? By highlighting things that you have started to do that you never would have done while you were together. If you were lazy and never wanted to get out of your comfort zone, you can tell your ex that you have started going to the gym 3 times a week; that you are starting to learn another language on your own; and that you are starting a home based business in your spare time, for example.

The only caveat is that you will really need to be doing what you claim you are doing! If your ex thinks that you were too selfish you can tell them that you have started doing community service to spend time with the elderly at local hospital; you get the gist. But again you will really need to be doing these things otherwise you won’t be credible!

So don’t tell your ex that you have evolved, explain to them what you have been up too during your radio silence in order to prove your point.

Step 11: Re-seduce your ex

If you are able to maintain a healthy communication platform with your ex; to stay positive and never argue or fight with them, you will place yourself in a prime position to re-seduce the one you love. When you are around them you will need to smile a lot; to be energetic and positive and to never ever criticize them.

Your ex will doubt you for a while so you really need to not push the envelope and to let time work in your favor. The longer you wait and the longer you stay in line with the new you; and the better your chances will be of making your ex fall head over heels for you. You will basically be constantly offering them the new and improved version of you, everything that they ever wanted and more!

Remember that you were able to seduce your ex once before at the beginning of your relationship, before you officially started to date one another. If you’ve done it once you can do it again, especially after a successful implementation of the radio silence technique!

Be confident around your ex without being cocky; be mindful of their needs without putting them on a pedestal; create those intimate moments without putting yourself in demand. If you are able to find the right balance between hot and cold and if you remain positive; I have absolutely no doubt that you will be able to inspire your ex again!

Step 12: Seal the deal following a radio silence and prove your change overtime

Once you have proven to your ex that you can be trusted and that you can make them happy you will have basically reached your goal of getting back together. To make them trust you and believe that you can both make each other happy is in fact the exact same thing as haven proven your change over time!

The first rule to seal the deal is not to rush. If you are unsure whether you should make a move the time probably isn’t right. You will know when your ex is ready to commit again, it will be pretty clear.

Don’t get discouraged if you feel like you haven’t been making progress. The moment that you have been waiting for often happens overnight. In other words you won’t know that you are getting really close until you do because your ex will have professed their love to you out of the blue!

But by then you’ll know what your ex is really trying to tell you; not that they love you again but rather that they trust you and believe in your ability to make them happy for a long long time.

To conclude I would like to remind you that you should never ever stop fighting for your relationship. If you do once you are back together you will start to settle and you run the risk of falling into another downward spiral; while also neglecting to meet your ex’s needs some way somehow.

Healthy relationships take work to maintain; In order for love to continuously flow but to ensure that you are constantly inspiring your partner and making them happy. Good luck with your radio silence and in your pursuit of getting back with the one you love.


Adrian & Alex

Relationships experts from the Love Coach Team at

245 Responses

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  5. So my ex and I broke up 2 days ago, and he simply says I make him happy, he loves me, but we shouldn’t be together, he says he feels like he isn’t going to be able to give me what I should have in life, we have a 16 year age difference, but I have never been happier with anyone, he truly makes my soul soar, and my entire world lights up at the thought of him, we have so much fun when we are together, he laughs and smiles and we talk and have this wonderful connection, we have literally stayed up all night just talking and it is so wonderful. I love him so much, and he says he loves me too, now though he gives me radio silence, and says he isn’t happy, when less the 5 hours before he broke up with me he claimed I made him the happiest man on earth. what do I do? I am devastated, and hurt, and to be honest, I am really angry.

    1. Hi Emily, thank you for your share. It seems to me like he’s very torn about the situation. The question behind this is, why? If we can determine what’s going wrong, we can implement solutions to help. If you’d like, please feel feel free to book a session and we can discuss it together.
      Coach N.

    2. Cut him off completely, at least in the short term. It sounds like something is up with your ex that has nothing to do with you. If you really must, tell him that you both could use some space. Then wait him out. Don’t de-friend him or burn any bridges, but don’t pro-actively contact him for as long as you can hold out. Even if you want or need your stuff back, try to wait until he’s broken the silence or at least a week or two has passed.

      Right now it’s all about how he’s feeling. Don’t beg or indulge him. If he wants to be with you, he’ll reach out. Chasing him will only give him the upper hand and make you feel even worse.

      I recently heard from an ex after several years of complete silence following an ugly break-up. I had stupidly tried to contact him while he was giving me the silent treatment. If I had let him go, he’s told him that he would have contacted me again within a month. If he cares as much about you as he claims to, you’ll hear from him again.

  6. So after reading countless things on this site, I had a few questions, (I know that you guys offer coachings, but I just don’t have the $$$$) I like the topic of radio silence, but how is it even possible to do this when there are kids in the picture? My ex and dated for a year, and broke up and then continued to live together for 3.5 more years & Still continued doing what couples, (i.e. Intimacy, Foot rubs, Me cooking dinner for her..etc) would do in my eyes but to her “we weren’t together” She has a 5 year old who’s biological father has been deceased, since he was 2 and the child views me as the father since I have been there as long as he can remember. I moved out a month ago to try to take care of me, and now she is already in a relationship with another guy…

  7. I read through this and I find it quite interesting and very useful ( I unfortunately don’t have the money to purchase the offer) But I have dated my ex for 4years and 4 months known him for 8 years. I love him sincerely but last year was one of my hardest year and he really was my punching bag. He took all the bad and negative things I say to him even though it wasn’t his fault. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago saying he’s done with everything and that our relationship will always be like this. I thought about what I did while we were apart and I really want to change and make him give us one last shot at this again before he walks away permanently. Any ADVICE? 🙁

    1. Hi Hla, I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how hard it is to rebuild a relationship. I would encourage you to take some space – let the wounds heal for both of you. Then reconnect with your ex. Make sure you’ve identified how you’ll handle issues better. THis will make all the difference.

      1. Thank you Natalie,

        I have tried talking with him several times but it didn’t work out. He wants me to give him space and move on. He told me there is a possibility of him coming or not coming back and he doesn’t want to hold me back.

        I guess the best solution for now is to give him space and time.

        1. Hi Hla,
          This could likely be the case. If you want a more narrowly defined plan of action, I invite you to book a session with me. I’d love to work with you and bring him back to you for good.
          Coach N.

  8. Hi, my ex-boyfriend left me for his “best friend” (who also works with him) that his other best friends wanted him to be with. This left me (and anyone else who knew us) baffled and shocked.
    We had a great understanding – emotionally. intellectually and physically. We both were always busy, he has a demanding job, I have my studies, we met once a week which was never an issue.
    A few of his best friends created constant nuisance, even though they stay abroad. Repeated problems kind of created a distance b/w us, we stopped talking about our daily life, which when I realized tried to mend things, but he was just not interested. Then I got to know that they want him to be with this girl who he is currently with.
    I asked him a number of times whether there is anything going on b/w them, he went on denying saying she is with someone else and that he never had that much in common with her. They were going out to shop or some other places with friends for the last few months, sometimes he never even bothered to tell me. But I always overlooked it because being skeptical and clingy is not my forte, more so because I trusted him totally. In the last one month or so things accelerated and started getting tensed.
    Until recently, when he stopped talking or taking any initiative to communicate with me then I had to make him admit that something is wrong with this relationship, I sought help from one of his friends who put the thought of breaking up into his head and after that he became totally desperate to break up with me.
    He didn’t even give me a reason at first, after that he came up with all crappy reasons which we could have worked out perfectly fine. Then he started telling me that he doesn’t feel the same way for me, that he has changed, has moved on and knows we do not have a future together (he is the one who used to dream of one even a month back); and also that he can not talk about his professional stuff with me anymore even though we survived through his final MB and Medical Internship days together (almost, just another month left to it). A few days later this whole came to light, and he admitted he had feelings for her a few months back, but he tried to squash it without telling no one about it.
    I have decided to stop talking with him.
    Will he ever come back?

    1. Hi Mouli,
      Thank you for your share. I understand how hard this situation may feel for you. I encourage you to determine when the relationship began to change and when he began to repress his feelings. It’s in this answer that can determine the likelihood of him coming back. However, based on what you’ve shared with me, your situation has hope. If you need a hand, I invite you to book a session with me.
      Coach N.

  9. I was seeing this guy for 6 months,at the 4.5month mark he started being distant, we unfortunately were not exclusive, yet with all his words and actions i assumed we were. However after questioning if he was seeing anyone else, he initially avoided, and then was honest and said yes,but that it was just casual, that he didn’t know him and i would grow into what we grew into, but that he wasn’t ready to commit but didn’t want to lose me either. At that time i was very hurt, but I made the decision to keep seeing him, (I love him, though i never told him) ,just on an even playing field, stating I’d be dating other people too, he wasn’t happy with that. This last month and a half he started ignoring texts every weekend, and then finally admitted to the reason being that he has been spending weekends with the other girl. Then shortly after I asked if he was in a relationship with her and he said yes, when i asked him how it happened when he told me he didn’t want to commit to anyone, he said i dont know how it happened, i didn’t and dont want to commit, crap happens. I naturally had a million questions for him and he of course got frustrated with me for asking them, but he doesnt want to stop seeing me either, he wants to “play it by ear with us” i love him, and really want it to be just us, is there any hope? I haven’t reached out or heard from him since Thursday, so it’s noe going on 3days since we’ve communicated, but being that he spends weekends with her these days I’m sure he hasn’t even noticed. I really need some advice, and really need to know if this no contact method would apply here and bring him back?

    1. Hi A, thank you for your share. I know how hard it is to wonder if Radio Silence will work for you. I need to know more about your current situation. I invite you to book a session with me. Let’s get to the bottom of this and develop a great plan to her your man back.
      Coach N.

  10. I need some help. My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me 2 months ago saying she didn’t think she was in love with me anymore. (Ouch) We went no contact and started talking again a few weeks later, nothing about the relationship. She replied and all seemed to be going well for a week or 2. I asked to meet and she said it was too soon. Now I’m being ignored again… What do I do??

  11. Hi Disqus, This is a great question. I would take a step back from the situation. Take some time to assess what she may be feeling and how you can modify your behavior to re-attract her. If you need support, I invite you to book a session with me. I’m here to help.

    1. Hello my name is tee, three year so called best friends he claimed he just came out of a 10 year relationship and he wasn’t ready to be with me. Well he broke it off after I picked his phone up only to find out his talking to some one else. He no contacted me for 30 day in February I texted him but I feel I need to no contact him starting today.

      1. Hi Tee,
        Thank you for your share. I would love to learn more about your situation, so I can help you more thoroughly. I invite you to book a session with me. I look forward to connecting.
        Coach N.

  12. Hi. I have to say the dating advice that you and your team teach is amazing and probly the best out there. Keep up the great work. My situation has had me pretty depressed for the last couple weeks which is when me and my girlfriend broke up due to my decision of ending the relationship at the time. I have to say that I sincerely regret my decision and want her back in my life as my girlfriend once again. I feel as though I also made a mistake in an attempt to get her back when I called her a few days ago to try and tell her how my decision to end the relationship was a spur of the moment kind of thing due to the bickering and arguments we had been going through. She however mentioned in a seemingly neutral tone of voice that I’m the one that made the decision to break up and that she’s come to terms with the breakup and she doesn’t feel as though things will change even though I really want to show her that they will. During the phone conversation with her I also asked her if she wants me to just leave it at me having broken up with her and she said yes thus resulting me in saying “ok, bye” and me hanging up the phone. Did I ruin my chances of me and her getting back together by ending the phone conversation like this or is there still hope? I extremely regret dumping her even though I really didn’t want to since I didn’t know what else to do at that time and It’s been day’s since I’ve spoken or heard from her which has been driving me nuts. Do you think there is hope for me and her to return to the loving relationship we had created together? I love and miss her so much. Sorry for the long story but I really want to see you’re response to this as you and your teams caliber of expertise intrigues and inspires me throughout this process of me and her being together again. Have you guys successfully brought couples back together again in similar situations to this? We’re currently in radio silence and I’m not sure exactly what to do here. Looking forward to your response

  13. Adrian,

    So here’s my story and it’s kind of complicated… I have this guy friend (I’m 32 and he will be 43 this month) and we met back in 2010 working together on a film for the summer. We live on opposite coasts and we barely talked on social media for all 6 years I’ve known him. Once in a while he will respond to me, but it would be a short reply (as are tweets normally). He was happily married back when we met, and he has 3 daughters. I guess I should add in here that he is an actor. Though I will make it clear I wasn’t familiar with his work despite his celebrity status. I liked him for his personality and I think he appreciated how honest I was with him about that.

    We met again at the premiere of the film we made. He hugged me as soon as our eyes met. He said he was so happy to see me again. He seemed just as excited to see me as I was to see him. But something seemed to be off about him that night and I couldn’t figure it out. I asked him why his wife and daughters didn’t come and he said his girls were back in school. 2 weeks later, I find out (from sources) that he and his wife divorced and started to date his costar in the movie we worked on.

    To make things more complecated, we met again in late 2013, at a book signing he was having. At that time I was so confused of what we were since he never followed me on social media after he promised me that he would. His eyes sparkled when he laid eyes on me. He called out my name and said “hey buddy, it’s good to see you here! I’ve missed you so much!” I knew then that he saw me as his friend and I figured I could trust his word. I think he noticed some changes I had made since the last time he saw me, including the fact that I lost 30 pounds, but he would never say anything about it. He just said that I look really good. I blushed, we both admitted that we missed each other and in the midst of teasing me about missing him, he found a note in my hand telling him my feelings for him. He asked me if I love him and I had to fight the tears telling him yes and that I’m sorry I ruined our friendship while being honest about my feelings. He hugged me close to his body, and assured me that I didn’t do anything wrong and that we are still friends. He told me to never apologize for my feelings if they are real, because why apologize for something you can’t change. I asked him if things didn’t work out with his girlfriend, would it be possible he could give me a chance. He said that anything is possible and that maybe we will see someday. I told him that I would rather us be friends than make things awkward between us just because of my feelings. He smiled and said not to worry, that everything is good between us. He never once brought up his girlfriend in our conversation.

    He remembers details about me that my average friends wouldn’t remember, he looked at me longingly and he held my hands when we talked. He asked me details about my plans for the day and if I wanted to work with him again in the future. He was planning to produce a few TV shows and movies in Boston and wanted me to help him once they got the projects in order. He also told me that he enjoys receiving messages on Twitter from me and that I make him smile, and that he promises to try to remember to follow me on Twitter. At that time, I decided I would continue to send him messages just as I always had. Also, he introduced me to his parents, his brothers-in-laws and sisters. We talked and I still keep in touch with his sisters (but I haven’t talked to them since I have given him his space).
    I felt fantastic and beautiful that day, and I’m sure he felt the self-confidence radiate from me. But he still had his girlfriend and he never told me how he felt about me. He was happy he had me smiling again before I left the party (I had work the next morning).

    Then the trouble started 2 years ago, when one of his fans on Twitter wanted to start an argument with me. It was ridiculous and I kept defending him for a month or so until I blocked her around that September. Nothing happened after that. I stayed silent on social media as I just got a new job and stayed busy. In fact I noticed he seemed to be acting more distant on social media, so I decided to give him the no contact treatment hoping that maybe he was just having a bad week. I continued not contacting for 30 days or so up until his birthday when I sent him a message before I went off to work that morning. I kept contact at a minimum just to give us distance. Next thing I know, 3 weeks later I wake up Christmas morning and he blocked me. I don’t know if he did this because of that fan said something to him, or if his girlfriend made him do that because she never liked me and felt jealous that he would even look at me. All I know is that I felt so lonely and afraid that I lost him forever. I opened a separate Twitter account and he opened a separate account also (at least I believe it is him) and we talk maybe once a month. To make that clear, we both have 2 accounts. I’m afraid though that I have lost him as a friend and that he will never talk to me again. My self-confidence went from high to low the day he blocked me last Christmas and it’s been a struggle since then.

    He is no longer with his fiancé after dating her for these years, and officially called it quits as of the beginning of last year. I have tried to talk to him during these past few months since they broke up, hoping that maybe he will talk to me now that he was single. 6 months later, now he is dating another girl. But I think it’s a rebound since she is 20 years younger than him (and when I talked to his sister the week before, she told me he was still upset over the breakup and to give him time). I decided to make myself have a “no contact” time for about 3 to 6 months or so until I get myself back to being the self-confident woman that he saw he last time we met 3 years ago. I figured that if he sees me missing from social media after I tried to get his attention and apologize for making him uncomfortable, maybe he will miss me and want to talk about this.

    I still talk to him through this other account about once a month. He says that he misses me and asks how I am doing. But he acts like he never blocked me on his main account, and when I mention him blocking me he ignores the question and asks me another question. So I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt his feelings because I know he is a sensitive person just as much as I am.

    I wouldn’t necessarily call him my ex since we never had a real romantic relationship. But I’m hoping you can give me some advice here anyways. He knows I love him, and I have a feeling that he had more-than-friendly feelings for me. Would a year of silence work for me, or would I be risking him forgetting about me altogether? Does being long distance make the chances of reconciliation of our friendship almost impossible?

    I’m sorry that my message is so long, but I would appreciate your help!

    Thank you!

    1. Hi Donna,
      Thank you for your share. I know how hard it can be trying to feel out people after the no contact period. However, in order to really provide an assessment, I’d like to have a one-on-one with you. I invite you to book via this site and we’ll discuss when it makes sense to connect in the upcoming days.
      Coach A.

  14. Also, I have talked to Natalie about this, but I wanted to know if Adrian could give some insight as well.

    Thank you!

  15. I would really like to get some help if possible. Me (25 yo) and my gf (23 yo) had a relationship for about 7 years, lived together and also have a daughter. we broke up after those 7 year but a couple months later we got back together but i was more like a long distance relatihon, hearing eachtother daily with texting and spending the weekends together this went good for about 6 months and now she left me again.

    She sais i didn’t make any mistakes but that she isn’t feeling what she should be feeling anymore but also admits she still loves me, just after the breakuo i tried talking a lot with her to try and figure out what exactly was wrong and to try and get back together, we were still able to talk normal and even went out 1 time with our kid but i felt it wasn’t going to get us back together so last wednesday i deceided to start a no contact period with the exception for our daughter.

    Now last monday she called with my cousin and told him she doesn’t want to hear me again and she is just going to ignore me if i would call or text her, she also said we will never be back together again (to me she said she isn’t sure what she wants) now i’m wondering if she is being serious about it and if she might be also starting a no contact persiod against me. I still really love here and want to make it work with her in the end we have been together for allmost 8 years and i don’t want to just throw that away.

    All people in my life keep telling me she will come back to me someday buy i’m not sure at all and not even sure what is the best to do now to get her back.

    Is it possible she is using the no conctact period to either try and get me to text here even while saying she wont reply or that she is using it to find out if she is still in love with me?

    And how big are the chance she mean it when she said we will never be together again?

    It’s been about 5 weeks now since we broke up and i still miss her everyday, i hope you can share a basic visons on my problems already and answer some of my questions now and perhaps a booking later on to help me get her back if you believe the odds are good.

    Sorry for the long post, ive tried to keep it short
    Thanks in advance already

    1. Hi Gine,
      Thank you for your share. I think Radio Silence can really help you right now. Take some time to let the relationship breathe. This can prepare you both to communicate for effectively in the future. Don’t worry about her going anywhere, you have a beautiful child together, and 7 years is HARD to forget, even after years!
      Coach N.

  16. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years over a month ago. We lived together, so moving out was hard. I’ve been trying to avoid contacting him, mostly so I can heal. It’s been hard, but the best thing in the long run. He jumped into a new relationship before I’d even moved out. About two weeks after not talking, he reached out to me to see how I was and admitted his new fling wasn’t going well; I ended up telling him that I didn’t want to be the person he complained to about his new relationship issues because it hurt for me to have to listen to it. So we stopped talking for a bit after that. The other day I was organizing my new place and found a postcard he’d sent me on a business trip, in which he wrote he “couldn’t live without me.” It made me so angry and I’m ashamed to admit I texted a picture of the note to him, told him his silence proved he could live without me and didn’t care, and that I was grateful to him for it. He never responded, and I honestly didn’t think he would, but I regret saying it because I feel like it just made me look pathetic. I’ve made a promise to myself that I won’t contact him again, but do you think I did the wrong thing?

    1. Hi Em,
      Thank you for your share. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation, I know how hard this can be. You didn’t do the wrong thing if it was what you needed to do for you. Moving forward, though, I would encourage you to refrain from reaching out, particularly in ways that show spite or resentment. It’ll only hurt you.
      Coach N.

  17. Hi Jacqueline,
    Thank you for your share. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I encourage you to let the relationship breathe a bit. Take a step back so he can assess the decision he’s made. It sounds to me like he’s confused – and this confusion may not even only be limited to a relationship. He may be looking for “something” in life in general.
    Coach N.

  18. Hi Carl,
    Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. When it comes to Radio Silence, a new and improved form of the no contact rule, it’s all about personal development. It’s not that she necessarily needs to be the one to reach out, but you can’t reach out until you’ve corrected what triggered the issues in the breakup in the first place. If you need help assessing this, I invite you to book a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to support you.
    Coach N.

  19. I broke up with him because he is patholohical liar and cheat many times. We are now in 1 week of no contact. I miss him and still love him but I don’t wanna go back with him. Don’t know what to do as i still love him regardness of keep hurting me.

  20. We worked together, became friends and then dated. It was too much pressure to work together and stuff in our personal lives and expectations for the relationship put too much pressure on us. He lost the feelings after a few months and we went back to friends/ working together. He started seeing someone new within a few weeks. That didn’t work out. Over about four months, our friendship deepened again and we got physical, but he was hot and cold. I was really in love by now and I couldn’t take it so I finally told him directly how important he was to me. He replied that he couldn’t return my feelings and a month later got into a very intense relationship with someone that is my opposite. Sometimes he can’t look at me. We’ve never talked about her – I’m just aware through some obvious stuff. I am devastated. I did my best to have no contact off and on after the first time we broke up and we haven’t communicated too much in the last 6 weeks. I quit the job and am done in two weeks and then intend to do real no contact… Do I have a chance? I am hoping that not having me around will spark something but this new girl also seems to be special and is really happy with him so although I am suffocating in my feelings, I feel for her too and her happiness. I love him so much and have worked really hard to improve myself – including losing 50 lbs.

  21. We were in a relationship for 1 year, but I lied to her. I was fired from my job and didn’t tell her anything. In the past I lied to her, about other stuff, but out of “trying to avoid arguments or making her feel insecure”

    We lived together for 5 months, and we broke up. It’s been one month since the break up, we kept in touch, but things got better in a moment and turned sideways again.

    What are my chances of recovering her? I really Love her, and I have this hope that maybe she can miss me if I go silent. But she has been very angry, her last message was I am done!

    Any ideas?

    1. Hi Oss,
      Thank you for your share. Considering your situation, I’m glad you’re reading about Radio Silence – a new and improved form of the no contact rule. I encourage you to take a step back from the relationship. Let the dust settle. To really help you navigate through the next few weeks to maximize your chances at turning this around, I invite you to book a session with me. I’m here to help.
      Coach N.

  22. We were in a relationship for half a year, he’s my first boyfriend, and he’s a totally nice guy. Early February this year, things changed. He slacked off in his studies and he started using abusive words in the relationship. He said he need space, so I gave him space and did not contact him for almost a month. After one month he came back, saying he wants to try again but he’s unsure of his feelings. Few days ago, I asked him if he’s back in relationship, he said he needs time again. I said that if he’s not committed to trying why not end the relationship, and he agreed ending it. And yesterday, I changed my bio to moving on and letting go, he came to me saying that if that’s what I want, it will come true. Hello, I thought we broke up. Then he said, he downloaded tinder just to find a backup and suggested that I should do so too. I don’t know what should I do. Please help.

  23. Me and my ex have been together for almost 3 years. We have had a very on and off relationship and he has broken up with me everytime something goes wrong. I am always the one trying to reconcile and make the relationship work. I have put so much effort into being together and hanging out, iniatining conversations, and making plans. He seemed to never have much time for me and ignores me very often. Our latest breakup happened one week ago due to him avoiding me and making me feel insecure. It was a very heated fight and definitely the worst we have had in our entire relationship. He broke up with me saying that he loves me so much, wants to be together again down the road and he can’t see himself with anybody else for the rest of his life. But that I need to get my shit together before we can try again. I am so confused and hurt. I don’t know what to do. We have talked a few times over the past week but it hasn’t made anything better. Last night I wrote him a long message about even if I changed into the person he would like me to be I doubt he would treat me better if we did work things out. He basically blew it off. Need advice?? Thank you.

    1. Hi Emily,
      Thank you for your share. I believe you’re going to be able to fix this. However, it will take some time and a little bit of guidance. Please consider booking a session with me. Let me help.
      Coach N.

  24. Me and my ex were together for 4years and 5 months through out the first 2 years it was great I was happy he was happy we were happy then after that 2 years went by I started to consistently nag and find things to argue with him about and he told me if I continued I would push him away but I never thought anything of it , through out the last 2 years of our relationship I would try to spend time with him but he wouldn’t because he said all we ever did was argue when we were around each other soo it started to become hard on our relationship! Then he broke up with me telling me he wasn’t happy anymore! Now I’m wondering do I have another chance with the person I love soo dearly? It’s been 4 months since the break up & nothing has gotten easier , he still keeps in contact with me every now & then! I know if I didn’t argue wit him or nah soo much we would still be together! Do I have another chance with him? I need help

    1. Hi Sierramonae,
      Thank you for your share. If you’re asking yourself if you have a chance to get back together, I’m happy to say that based on my professional opinion, you certainly do. However, the way you handle no contact will determine the likeliness of this outcome. If you’d like a tailored strategy geared toward maximizing your chances, I invite you to consider booking a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to help.
      Coach N.

  25. Hi Soulsurviror,
    Thank you for your share. Your situation is complex, but I have hopes in being able to turn it around. However, I would like to speak with you one-on-one about this. I invite you to consider booking a session with me.
    Coach N.

  26. Hey, my story is:

    We have met in Decemeber and from the start she told she would move to other country at mid of January, that didnt matter at the time, we started dating and doing everything possible a couple would do, we were in love totally, we had same future goals/objectives,etc. After she moved out everything was good until at some point, all the new country situations, her being naive on the matter, made her change and alot of pressure was put over her and to make it worse i unconscious did put pressure on her and she started losing interest in me and everything felt apart. i know i messed up and should have make her happier with things i knew she like and i just didnt pay much attention on it, like musics, totally forgot it and shes loves music. she said we shouldnt had started this since we had no time almost ( 1month and half together before she move out) and that she mixed everything up and she was needy at the time. so we broke up at 2 weeks ago and now we re friends. We still chat up, like from days to days and our conversation has content on it. Im meeting her in some weeks because shes visiting our country to solve some personal issues with the paperwork and in 1 month im moving near her ( on the country she is on). Whats your advice for me? Keep chatting with her? Totally cut out and dont even read the message she sent me on facebook? ( even tho she sees me online?) Maybe start working on re-attraction part? I recognize my mistakes but im a bit lost on the way to be honest due to my lack of experience on the matter.

    Thank you

    Edit: I started no contact at 3 days ago!

    1. Hi Hopst,
      Thank you for your share. I invite you to book a session with me. I think I can help.
      Coach N.

  27. Here’s my scenario: I am 22 and my ex is 23. We dated for a year and a half. About a month before our breakup I found a pros and cons list about me and he explained it was for his writing process (and knowing him I believed it), he even showed me the song he wrote. But I confronted him and asked if he had any issues to bring them up now. He said none worth breaking up over.So we move on, life is great and grand things are going well. Then the week of the breakup I text him love you, and he didnt say it back. The rest of the week he didnt either. So I asked him about it on Friday and he pulls out his phone and has a long message detailng his feelings .Of course I cant read more than a sentence without bawling. He explains it isnt me, Im perfect, but hes had this feeling in his chest and he doesnt know really what it is. And he felt like we couldnt communicate and I know where he was coming from, but its a totally fixable problem. We cried, processed, spoke and he wanted to keep trying. That I could be the best thing he has and hes an idiot. But I told him to go home and think about it becuase he cant be thinking clearly after watching me cry for like 8 hours. So he goes home, he was suppose to call me Monday, but on Sunday he called and said it was over. He didnt want to be in a relationship. All of our problems are fixable but he doesnt know why he doesnt want to fix them.

    So when i ask him why he doesnt want to be in a relationship he says he wants to focus on himself: make new friends, jiu jitsu, write music, perform (all things he can do while with me), figure out his goals and himself again. His gut is telling to go and his head is trying to justify it with that reason.

    So I havent spoken to him since the break up which was almost two weeks (itll be two weeks on Sunday). he watches EVERY snapchat I post on my story, and last night I went out with friends and he watched them and I guess HE went out and posted one of him out drinking a beer with his friend (I didnt watch it on my phone I used my friends phone).

    Im scard he might be too prideful to reach out. Also what if a month passes and he doesnt. Im working on myself and I know where things might have gone wrong. But… what if he doesnt come back? Its hard because Im trying not to hold on to hope, but also I feel like… he might come back…

    1. Hi Ana,
      I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this is. However, let’s try to see your situation as an opportunity: you already know the things that have room for improvement. You aren’t in the dark about what’s going on and what’s not working. Use that list (if you do want to make such changes) as a guide. Let this be a time for you to learn about yourself. If you need help, I’m here to support.
      Coach N.

  28. My story: My ex and I dated for 3 months. It was the first serious relationship I’ve ever been in. I was with her a lot and things were going well. She’s a year younger than me and I had plans on going off to college. I was scared of a long distance relationship so I started distancing myself from her. I still had strong feelings, but the last month we barely hung out, just texted each other. She decided she didn’t want to deal with me going to college, so we agreed on parting ways. Well we stayed friends for about a month, still talking to each other all the time. I was about to go on a cruise with my family for a week, and I told her I probably wouldn’t be able to talk to her during that time. Because of that she wanted us to hang out before I left. We were with each other a few days before I left, and it was great. Like we were dating again. We did stuff like we were dating still, we even kissed lol. It was great, and it was obvious we still had feelings for each other. So I leave and I tell her I might be able to text her some days. Well a few days after I leave I get wifi and I talk to her. It was limited so it wasn’t long but we talked it was fine. A few days later I text her and see she’s ignoring me. I wonder why and she tells me she thinks she likes someone else, and is trying to distance herself so she can make a move. This hurts me. When I got back, I told her how I felt, that I loved her. We never told each other, but we did love each other. I wanted to make it work again. I decided to stay locally for college to save money so distance wouldn’t be an issue. Do I still have a chance? Is her relationship just a rebound? I haven’t communicated with her in a week. I just need a sign.

    1. Hi Dawson,
      Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current dilemma. I know how painful not knowing what an ex is feeling can be. If you’re wondering if this new person is a rebound, I’d have to learn a little bit more. However, rather than focussing on this new person, focus on you and what you can do to re-attract her.
      Coach N.

  29. Hi there,

    I dated my ex for 1,5 years and we were in a LDR. It’s been three months since the break up and we’ve kept in touch with each other all the time, however it’s coming from my side more lately and he’s emotionally not available for me. The reason for our break up was because I have violated his trust and he says it can never come back. I don’t know how to get through to him but I want him back badly. I feel like all these measures above don’t necessarily apply to my situation as this has more to do with trust issues from his side. What different can I do? I’ve tried bringing up good memories, just being his friend, I also did the wrong stuff in the beginning with begging pleading etc., I’ve apologized.

    Thank you!

    1. Hi Hope,
      Thank you for reaching out. I understand that you feel the above methods aren’t right for you. I invite you to book a session with me so we can develop a tailored game plan.
      Coach N.

      1. Hi Natalie, my ex (first love) just broke up with me yesterday due to not being able to handle my anxiety and the fights that come with it. He’s already taken down every photo from his social media and blocked me on Facebook. I want to better myself and my health so that he’ll want to come back to me but I don’t know if he’ll ever want to get back with me again due to what’s already been done. Can you please help me, I can’t eat or sleep because I’m too sick to the stomach.

        1. Hi Brooke,
          Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know anxiety can really get the best of us and affect the people in our lives. I encourage you to take a step back right now, let him remember all the good you contributed to the relationship. However, working on your anxiety is what you’ll have to truly get into doing in order to rebuild your relationship with your ex. If you need help with this, I can support you. I invite you to book a session with me.
          Coach N.

          1. My ex is 15 and I am 18 and he proved to me in the beginning he was much more mature then many older guys I had previously dated and I thought it would last. Due to his age does it make it less likely for him to come back because he told me he doesn’t want to speak to me again.

      2. The situation has actually changed in a bit as he just recently said he doesn’t see any future at all for us. But he says ‘its good to be friends’, however we are not really friends since all contact is coming from me and he seems not interested at all. I feel like this is just a hopeless case..

  30. Hi Matt,
    Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I wouldn’t be too embarrassed by stopping by to leave a rose (even though in the end you didn’t), as it wasn’t too dramatic of a gesture. It seems like there may be additional reasons for the strict flatlining of communication? Was there an argument before the flower?
    Coach N.

  31. I was with my ex for 4 and a half years. I’ve known her since we were kids. The first 2 years of our relationship was wonderful but I think we both got too comfortable and took each other for granted. My business started to fail and it really took a lot out of me and it caused serious issues in our lives. About a year ago she broke it off with me and I started no contact and about a month later we were back together. But, nothing changed we were both still doing the same mistakes and it eventually caused us to split again a month ago. I have only spoken to her a handful of times and saw her once to exchange belongings. I know all I did wrong in the relationship and I’ve focused on fixing myself. She’s my one true love and I’m desperate to win her back.

  32. Hi I was with my ex for a little less than a year and he broke up with me almost two months ago the first month I thought we were making progress he almost immediately told me he just needed space and time apart to work on himself. That he still loved me and wasn’t interested in anyone else and that maybe we just needed time apart. But after maintaining regular contact with gaps that only lasted about a week he said that he understood that the stress of the breakup was causing me to act on my emotions but that it was pushing him away and he thought we were done. He also said that he may want to try again in the future but didn’t want to get my hopes up. I told him I would give him his space. I’m on my 3rd week of radio silence and self reflection. I feel like his pride is going to keep him from reaching out to me during this break in communication. Does him not reaching out mean he is not ready? Or did I do too much damage in the month I was talking to him still?

    1. Hi Lilly,
      Thank you for your share. I know how much pain you’re in the right now. I don’t think you’ve ruined your chances, but I do think that since you’ve been available to him during the breakup and post breakup, he doesn’t feel the sense of urgency to return. He feels as though you’ll take him back at any time, so what’s the rush? I invite you to stay true to no contact. Let him miss you. This can make loads of difference.
      Coach N.

  33. If I talked to my ex after only a few weeks because I needed to talk something though with him that didn’t involve the breakup and it went well do I need to restart no contact? He said he we still had a connection but still didn’t know about us yet. He said friendship was ok for now and to see where it goes.

    1. Hi Eliza,
      This is a great question. Thank you for sharing. I feel that the answer will be relative to your situation. Sometimes, playing on friendship is not a bad thing and can get you nearer to your ex without him feeling pressured. however, I’ll need to know more about your unique situation in order to assess this. I invite you to book a session with me and we can discuss in detail what you should be doing.
      Wishing you the best always,
      Coach N.

  34. Was with my girl for 9.2 years. Knew her for 10. We have a 6.5 years age gap.
    Was about to get married in a year (dates fixed from families).
    Currently in a long distance for a year, I used to visit every 2-3 months and stay for 2 weeks or so (working from home) and met her almost everyday.
    Had some fight, she decided to not go ahead with the marriage. I flew to her place and got her to agree.
    1 week later we are out on a night out in a hotel and I find out she’s been getting too friendly with a colleague.
    I blast out and told her parents I wont marry her. She and her parents then convinces me to go ahead.
    I ask to move dates 1 month later, so we can be married quickly. She agrees.
    I couldnt stop asking about this guy, she gets pissed and breaks off. Marriage and relation. And again kept contact with this colleague.
    I blocked her for 9 days from everwhere, she starts asking about me to my parents.
    I open communication channels, she starts going back to not waiting a relation.
    Currently on day 12 of No Contact (she had kept contacting me for 1st week, via whatsapp and even a call). Even sent me picture msgs of how goodbye doesn’t mean she wont love me.
    But I kept ignoring her (response after 2-3 hours, very short conversations, ending convo when it went to highs).
    She told her mother that she tried to keep contact but I didn’t.
    She told her mother that she still loves me, but don’t want this relation.
    Her parents and close friends asked her to reconsider. Parents keep asking once in a while.
    She also claimed to her friends and family that she’s not meeting this colleague anymore and has minimal contact with him.
    For last 5-6 days I have had no contact from her and nothing from my side at all.

    Her mother keeps telling me to have some contact with her and not to sever all contact.
    I’m now torn between keeping minimal contact or completely keep this no contact from my side?
    Am also doing things she specifically wanted to do. Like paragliding, solo small trips to nearby places, learning to ride a bike.

    Her final reasons for breaking up
    1) Am short tempered
    2) Am dominating
    3) Am too controlling
    4) She wants to stay single

    Please answer.

    1. Hi Prish,
      I know how hard this can be. I commend you for your strength and in your decision to reach out to us. I feel that the best way to get her to want to rekindle with you is going to be managing the final four reasons for breaking up. She needs to believe you can change and that you can be the man she needs and expects. I can assist you in determining a strategy to maximize your chances of getting her back.
      Wishing you the best and I look forward to connecting,
      Coach N.

  35. Hi, thanks so much in advance for taking the time to answer my question. My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little over two years off and on. At first, we were best friends who were just hooking up at first, then it became more serious and we became official in February of last year. In July 2016, he broke up with me, saying that we become routine and there was no passion left in the relationship. From August 2016 to about a month ago, we were still seeing each other and acting liked a couple because neither of us could fully let go. He would still tell me that I was the most important person in his life and that he felt safe and comfortable around me, but he didn’t want anything serious. He told me he wanted to sleep with other girls and just be single and figure himself out, although 99% of the time he was the one reaching out to me and and acting like my boyfriend. I really believe that he was getting the best of both worlds: single when he wants, me (a girlfriend) when he wanted, so obviously this was hard on me and we were both really tired with the constant talks of “being confused”. He said his heart is telling him he should be with me, but his gut is telling him not too.
    I would always leave, and he would always come back saying that it was hard for him and that he’s never felt this way about anyone. He said he sees a future with me, but doesn’t want any type of commitment right now. A month ago, he told me that he wants to put me in his past and move on for good. Since then, I know he’s been going out all the time and enjoying the single life. He’s been partying an doing drugs every weekend and hooking up with different girls, and I feel like none of this is affecting him the way it’s affecting me. I’m devastated, and I feel like he’s happy without me. I’m still very much in love with him, and I think he’s confused as well. The thing is, a lot of the change has to come from him…and I really want to give things another shot. I just don’t know if he’s willing to try to fully commit again. I’ve done radio silence for 1 month now and he’s still friends with all my friends. Should I continue to do radio silence and let him miss me and experience life without me? thanks.

    1. Hi Tamara!
      Thank you for your share and I’m so glad you asked about radio silence and how it can help you get back with your ex. The answer to your question is : YES! Don’t let him have his cake and eat it too, and let him realize all of the value you added to his life throughout the course of your relationship. We won’t realize these things until you’re actually out of the picture. I’m excited for you and the progress you’re about to undergo. I invite you to book a session with me. I’d love to hear and help more!
      Coach N.

  36. Hi Coaches

    My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago. We have been texting and eating together the thing is that we practice exercise together and sometimes we end up in the same class.
    Until now things have been firing up we text here and there and sometimes she doesn`t reply
    my question.
    My question to you should I go radiosilence for a period?
    When we are together I can feel the spark between us and the attraction is still there between us.



    1. Hi Mike,
      Thank you for your share. Without knowing too much about your relationship, I think Radio Silence, the new and improved version of no contact, can really help you now. Let her miss you. There’s so much power in longing. In the future, I invite you to connect with her outside of class. Try doing something new together. If you need help developing a strategy, I invite you to book a session with me. I can help you.
      Coach N.

  37. My bf of 13 months just broke up with me a few days ago. In the beginning he was so obsessed he constantly brought me flowers wrote me poems said sweet things called me he was at my beck and call and did anything I asked to make me happy. He was so afraid of losing me and so in love. However in January we went on a trip and when we returned I fell out of love, maybe because I felt smothered by him and he constantly asked me for reassurance. But I told him this and it broke his heart because he was head over heels. Well I fell back in love, idk how but I did, but he was never the same. He stopped going out of his way to do the little things to make me happy. He said he didn’t like talking on the phone. He got very busy with work and in his free time chose friends over me. I was shoved to the bottom of his list. I became needy and clingy and constantly demanded more and constantly wanted to talk about the relationship. It finally got to a point where I felt like I couldn’t be treated like this anymore and asked for a break. We took a break for a week and he told me he didn’t love me like he used to and that he needed to find himself and that he’s lost and he can’t make me happy right now and he broke up with me officially. My first instinct was beg. Then we agreed to remain best friends and to talk and hangout an he said he doesn’t want me out of his life completely. But now that I think about it, that’s not fair to me. That’s giving him the best of both worlds. So I think I’m going to go no contact. The day he came and got his stuff he asked when we would hangout again. He also said he would still take me on a trip we’ve been planning for my birthday. But now none of it feels like a right choice on my part and im so confused. I want him back so bad. What are your thoughts?

    1. Hi Kaitlyn,
      Thank you for your share and I”m sorry to hear about your current situation. I invite you to really take this time to reflect on what motivated you to fall out of love in the first place. That’s such an important part of the story. If we can identify the right and wrongs, we can start to develop a plan to get him back. If you need help, I’m here to support you.
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N.

  38. Hi K,
    Thank you for your share. You’ve posed some great questions here. I think no contact can certainly assist you, but what you do with it and how you showcase it will be just as important. There are ways to do these things that can help you achieve the outcome that you want. I invite you to book a session with me, I can really help.
    Coach N.

  39. Hi Tiffany,
    Thank you for your share and you’ve asked a great question. If you’re the one initiating communication, I think no contact could be good for you. Let’s make the tables turn! This will also show you how invested he in (actions speak louder than words). If you need help turning this relationship around, I feel I can really help you here. I invite you to book a session with me.
    Wishing you the best!
    Coach N.

  40. Hi Austin,
    Thank you for sharing your story with me. I understand the stress you’re likely under at the moment. Realistically, the percent at which you can save this is really relative to the problems themselves. You must ask yourself, what are the underlying issues in your relationships and how can you go about fixing them quickly and permanently? If you need support on what to do and how to reach out to her, I invite you to book a session with me. I can help.
    Wishing you the best always,
    Coach N.

  41. Hi there,

    My bf and I were only together for 6 months, but there were many facets to our break up. First of all, this isn’t some teenage first love, or a texting frenzy in the school cafeteria. (No offense). We are in our 50’s, both been married before, heartbroken and thought we had finally found found lasting love and someone to relate to. Ok, long story short; I was sick pretty much the whole time, so I wasn’t myself, it was a LDR so we didn’t get to see each other much, it was in the dead of winter in Wisconsin (yay!) he has 3 minor kids and I didn’t like his adult child because she was very cold to me – whatever, my divorce is stalled because while at work, I had two seizures to top everything off. He told me once that given my health, I would be “just one more person for him to take care of”. . . nice. With an attitude like that, I know I should say good riddance (as he said to me once), but I enjoyed his company, and since we are both devout Christians, praying together was a plus. I shouldn’t miss him, but I do. I was thinking with winter being over, that the best is yet to come, but now I can’t drive for 3 month (state law) due to the seizures, but I fight myself every day not to call him, but don’t know what to say. I a afraid of rejection, and we never really broke up, but it’s been 24 days no contact. I believe he might be posting on social media looking for someone new, which is to be expected with men, lol, but perhaps I just don’t want anyone else to have him? IDK. Thanks for any insight. I am a mess.

  42. Hi Mindy,
    Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how stressful this can be. I invite you to take a step back from the relationship for an instant. Let him miss you and see all the value you add to the relationship. If you need help with a game plan – I can assist you here.
    Coach N.

  43. Hi Jimmy,
    Thank you for your share and Im sorry to hear about your current situation. I feel like, in order for her to miss you and rethink her decision – you’ll need to take a step back from the relationship. Let her realize what life if like without you – this can really help you.
    Wishing you the best,
    Coach N.

  44. I normally do not put a lot of stock in these articles but I read them anyway, and I have to say for me personally it was spot on advice. He broke up with me a little over a week ago. I was determined to stay no contact for at least 10 days (6 mo relationship). He texted me this morning that he missed me. We are going to see each other tomorrow. The only issue we had was distance (he lives three hours away) and we both have kids so we can’t move to be together. But maybe just maybe we can do this. At least I have hope.

      1. We are back together. He even told me he is going to marry me one day. He told me that he just needed to be broken down to realize what he had and how vital it was to him.

  45. I’ve been dating a girl for 2 years and i love her very much. But we don’t really meet each other often coz she stay overseas. we only met twice a year. But we do video call on the phone every single day. So she deiced to moved in with me,and she studied very hard trying to get some jobs here. but i took things too granted.i dint care about her or comfort her when she needed most. i just keep playing games. i know i was wrong and i apologize to her,but she din even want to forgive me,and so we broke up. she too disappointed. after that we din even talk for 3 weeks. even if i take a flight to her place she din even wan to see me. what can i do?? i know i was stupid and im ashamed of myself.i wanna change myself and fix this.but i dint know that is she still love me or is she want me back…what should i do….?i need some help here…..
    I trying to win back my ex, is been 1 month that we dint spoke and i try to make some move,so we actually talk more and i feel like i have a chance to win her back. So i decide to buy some flower and chocolate send it to her place. and….she rejected….the last thing she said to me is that she have a new relationship and leave her alone……
    the way i know her, she wont be that fast, i was thinking and analysing is she lying coz she wanted me to let go….or maybe i was wrong….
    what can i do now??

    1. Hi Chris,
      Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how tough this situation can be – especially when it comes to trying to implement radio silence the right way. I invite you to book a session with me, I’m confident I can help you.
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N.

  46. Hi Ciara,
    Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this can be. You can do no contact but simply making yourself busier – too busy to be present or frequently communicating via text. Let him know that you can live a life that excites you – this is attractive and may be advantageous to you. We have a product on radio silence when living together that may also be helpful.
    Wishing you the best,
    Coach N.

  47. my ex girlfriend broke up with me a year ago because she felt i took her for granted. since then i have been doing everything i could to get her back. Anything she needed i did.(paid her rent paid for her sons birthday party,bills,etc…) Anything she wanted i did and she basically kept leading me on.We spend almost every day together. On may 11th she came to my house and was flirting with another man right in-front of me like wasn’t even there. I didn’t know she was seeing someone else, and she made it seem like i was wrong for being hurt. When I found out i didn’t argue i didn’t beg i just asked her to leave and I have been NC ever since. She has called and text me plenty of times but it is always her telling me she needs my help. I’m sorry I have been a fool for a whole year and she showed me she does not care about my feelings at all. I feel I should remain in NC and deep down I feel she is just trying to get me to help her with bills or do her a favor. In my mind I just want to tell her to get help from the guy she has been talking to but I don’t want to break NC. Am I doing the right thing with NC or am I wrong?

  48. Hi guys, im from the UK. I was with my ex for 6 years, she broke up with me a week ago. Our relationship was great, we had tons of excitement together, 4 holidays abroad, talk of marriage and children, passionate sex. She left me for a few reasons. I said hurtfull things, i complained when she wanted to sleep and i didnt, i complained about not enough sex and in heated situations she was scared of my temper. Ive never pysically hurt her, she said my temper scared her. She feels i ground her down over the last year of our relationship. I began begging her for 5 days on and off when she pulled the plug. I did this because she was hot an cold sayin things like this is hard for me and i miss you everyday and i dont know if we can get back together because i dont know how i feel. Begging DIDNT WORK, no surprise. I started radio silence 3 days ago. I worry it wont work because she seems emotionless at this stage. I feel i have turned her cold. Is it likely she will miss me through this period and im scared if i leave it to long she will get over me. I still have her on whatsapp, facebook, mobile contact and she still has the apartment key. The last contact i had was in person before radio silence. I asked if there was too much water under the bridge and she replied ‘right now YES’. Please help… P.S the youtube channel is great.

    1. Hi Aiden,
      Thank you for your share. I feel that right now Radio Silence is your best bet. I know it’s hard, but it’s important for her to realize that you’re able to control your emotions – primarily because she was slightly afraid of yours. I invite you to book a session with me. You can do so by visiting the Coaching tab on this website. I feel I can help you.
      All the best,
      Coach N.

  49. Hi Adrain, This is the second time that i broke up with my boyfriend. At first i were chasing him by texting about 4 months.Then i decided to do no contact. After no contact and i reached out, i can feel he reattracted to me and happy to talk to me. But after the time passed he was hot and cold. I noticed that when i tried to be romantic like the same, he will be cold and distant. I tried to talked to him everyday but i can feeled he annoyed and answered a short sentence. So i just decide to stop reach out. Now ten day passed, nobody contact each other. I am not sure i did it right or not. And what should i do next?

  50. What if your ex is trying to contact you and sending emails “its unfortunate how things ended” during the No Contact Time. Do you respond? Ex has tried to communicate a few times

    1. Hi JWalker,
      Thank you for reaching and I’m sorry to hear about your frustration. I know how challenging this can be – wondering how and when to reply to our ex’s outreach. I feel that it’s likely OK for you to reply, as long as the breakup was amicable. If you’re trying to decide if your relationship and breakup condones a reply to your ex’s outreach, I invite you to book a session with either Coach Adrian or myself. We can help you maximize your chances at turning this thing around.
      Wishing you the best always,
      Coach N.

  51. Hi there. Me and my ex have been apart since January 2016, but only stopped sleeping together in December of last year. We have a 4 year old daughter together and were together for 5 years. Since January of this year I feel he went really cold with me and seemed to completely shut me down of any chances of us getting back together. Then I find out he’s back together with the older woman he was seeing a year before we met, with lovely smiley photos all over their Facebook and i am completely floored by it. I want him back so much. But now he won’t communicate with me has blocked my number and wants to interact through lawyers. It’s so hard when he comes to pick out daughter up and i just want to be near him again. I really do feel that if we gave it another go no matter how long it took then it would definately work out this time, but what chance have i got when there’s someone else on the scene?

  52. 3 months since I was told (I don’t love you anymore and you have to leave) I begged and pleaded. 1 month later I moved. Leaving my 2 year old daughter, fiance, and dog. We had been arguing since she was pregnant and no matter what I did I could not tear down her wall. Even after limited contact she seems to increase her bitterness. I’m a excellent father and was a caring partner except the arguing. I couldn’t be argued with and not return the arguments. I find myself depressed and lacking confidence after the cold I have felt for 2 years. I want to take action. I explained to her I’d like to step up the maturity and forget the old relationship and work on building a new one as co-parents. In hopes of bringing her guard down a bit and to make a better situation for our daughter. My next move will be to ask for mutual forgiveness.
    I’ve started the gym and yoga classes to better myself. I’ve also done some serious self reflecting on the situation. I’m sure I can be the man and father that will provide a healthy/ happy future. Not sure of how to get the chance? I’m putting in the work and will continue.

    1. Hi Justin,
      Thank you for your share and I feel you’re on the right track. How are things going so far? In order for me to really help you with a game plan, I invite you to book a session with me. Your situation is complex and deserves attention. I do feel confident, however, that you can turn this around..
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N

      1. Thanks coach,
        I’m still working on myself via yoga, weight lifting, therapy, and studies. I can’t help but be somewhat cold when we exchange our child. It’s a learned reaction and I’m not ready to show her warmth till I feel she Will accept it. I feel I need to establish boundaries and show I will not be treated poorly.
        I went on a date last night to help with my confidence issues and it helped. I am a desired person. This is something I forgot long ago.
        All the issues we had as a couple she has worked on now that we are split. I’d like to think it’s for me, however she seems to be doing it to hurt me and twist the knife. When my financial position improves I would love to speak with you.
        Thanks again for your reply and best wishes

  53. Hello My ex and I broke up right before mothers day. Communication between us sucked bad so any time we had a small issue it turned bigger than it had to be and he got flighty every time. This last time I addressed a concern about time being spent and feeling like I was not a part of his life anymore he said to me, “if it’s not one thing, it’s another with you, I don’t know how long this is going to last with us.” I’ll never forget those words and how they made me feel. So I said I was done with it, it ends now. The disrespect will no longer be tolerated because I don’t deserve it. I am good to him he stressed me out but when he say jump it is how high. Ppl around see how he is to me and how I am to him and they know i deserve better. I know too but I love him and I know he deals with issues within himself so I deal with him. He is paralyzed and we have known each other for about 15 years even though we have only been in a relationship for 2.5. From the moment we decided to be together he expressed how much he wanted me in his life and couldn’t wait for me to be a part of his life. It was mutual… So many things transpired from that point until the break up but I held on so tight because I really wanted to be with him. He cheated on me, he lied to me and he’s even gotten physical once. I don’t know why I stayed with him or if I even want him back but I know my feelings are crushed. Every day I try to fight the hurt feelings and some times I can some times I cannot. He won’t talk to me, he won’t respond to text. We had separate apartments but we still “lived” together. He didn’t come to my place as often due to the stairs but I was at his place as often as I could be. I have a lot of clothes, shoes, coats and all the things a women would have when she is comfortable in her mans space. He has my keys and we got a car together, he has that too. He has went out his way to let me know on at least three occasions he will bring my things to me and my keys but he hasn’t. Now he is flat out ignoring and I started to feel crazy for asking for my things every other day. At this point I don’t even know why I want them or maybe I just want a reaction from him. Something to show he cares but he keeps showing me he doesn’t. I need this no contact for myself more then anything but it’s hard and I just officially started it a day ago. How long do you recommend I do no contact, this is for me too so that I can get out my feelings and emotions and look at the big picture. I want a man that doesn’t treat me how I deserve to be treated and that’s something with me I need to sort out before I can even look at him again but I am human I want to see him I want things to be good.

  54. Hi Tom,
    Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current stress. I know how frustrating this can be. It really kicked off effortlessly between you two. However, in order for me to help, I need to know a few more things that I can will round my understanding. I invite you to book a session with me. Your situation deserves a one on one.
    Wishing you the best,
    Coach N

  55. Hi there, I have been married for about 5 years, we have a 2 year old son and a 4 year old daughter! The past 8 month i have been stressed out and gave my wife no attention , went out to the gym and played sports, came home late! She got fed up, as much as she use to love me like crazy, I was shocked she want to her mothers house, packed everything and took the kids. I was mr. Fix it all, told her I loved her and i want to change to be a good husband, but no luck, then I talked to some people from the family to intervene, she agreed to come home, and we hugged kissed and …..! I was on my best behaviour helping out with the kids, buying gifts, being home on time, and then i took her on a holiday with kids. In the middle of the holiday I asked why is she not showing effection to me like before! She went back to I dont feel anything for you and that she tried but there are no feelings though i changed! I told her well you need to give it time… Anyways no luck , couple of days later she went back at it again that i should leave her and stop trying. I tried to stay normal hoping time will heal this phase however she got bitter and bitter, and I looked desprate for her to the piont she said I do not like a emotionaly week man, I read this Article , and when i saw her she was bitter talking about divorce.. i told her I am going to leave she did not believe me she said ill be back tomowro .. ! Before I left i told her I thought when ever I fall you would lift be back up, though i love you alot you are showing me a side that is not what I married and though we have tough times I thought we will pull through because you are my wife and not my girlfriend And now you will not see my face; So it would make you happy! I left and it has been a day and a half I miss my kids and I hope for the best!

    1. Hi Alex,
      Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how frustrating this is. I feel as though space will be really advantageous for you. However, what it is you do with that space will determine everything! I invite you to book a session with me, so I can help you implement the right strategy to fix this.
      Wishing you the very best,
      Coach N

      1. Thanks for the quick reply, I have good news, after 2 days using the no contact rule and leaving the house, she contacted me first saying the kids miss me and i should come to take them out. I said now is not the time for me to take out the kids and pretend I am a happy father, I told her now I need to figure out what to do with my self and I did not choose this path for the kids. Then she called 5 hours later asking me to atleast come home untill we figure out what to do about the divorce. I told her I am not going in circles with this and coming back to the sams point that I am in now. i told her if you want me to come home you have good intentions for us and not the thoughts of a damaging divorce that will hurt everyone in the family! She said fine you are right I feel like I am doing something wrong, when can you come home, I said I dont know I need time for my self and then I can come… She said fine we hung up the phone, then 1 hour later she said please come home we have to work on this together and that I am right and divorce is not the way if there can be a solution. I was like I am not coming if you are not willing to work this out like i am for the sake of this marriage and the kids. she agreed , later I went home, and we talked about our mistakes, we hugged and made love! So the no contact rule gave her space and time to think about everything and feel the wieght of her responsibility. If there is ever a chance use this method the no contact rule! But before you do it let them know you acknowledged your mistakes and you were willing to change your bad habits !

  56. We’ve been together 17 years and she broke up and left because of my laziness, not getting a job in all that time after pleading with me to find a job Is there any hope for me?

    1. Hi Steve,
      Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. It seems to me like it’ll be important for you to prove to her that you’re able to become the man she needs. Take some time, make this transformation, and then reach back out to her. I think this will be what makes the difference.
      I hope this helps!
      Coach N

  57. My ex broke up with me3 weeks ago. I started no contact two weeks ago. We have two events coming up (mutual friends’ birthdays) back to back right before the “No Contact” period is over. Should I reach out before the party? Should I wait to reach say something after the “No Contact” period is over?

  58. My ex boyfriend broke up one month ago. I am 18 and he is 19. He is going for college while I am still in high school. I think there is some sort of separation or distance we have due to differences in our life phase and we met in person less and less. Also I was needy that I made him feel so annoyed to a point of explosion of anger. At first he asked for just a separation like a break but then I was angry too so I just said “why don’t just break up and stop wasting my time” Then he broke up with me. Now looking back, we both looked so immature lolll. He then unfriended me on facebook, deleted my snapchat and blocked me on whatsapp on that day of break up. I know he wanted space but this is really irrational of him.(kinda look like a child) I immediately engage in no contact right after the break up (30days) and improve myself, such as going out with friends, doing sports. YESS I feel confident and good about myself. I think I could still continue my life even being single. But I just want to get this relationship a try before I really give up. We are both each other’s first love and have sustained an intensely loving relationship of 2 years. We only have gotten into minor fights occasionally but only that he felt uncomfortable and hated to confront problems. Now I reach out to my ex through texting in instagram but he is stubborn. He did not click into the message box to read it whole purposefully. I was thinking give him more space like 2 weeks? And then I go and reach out to him again. Or is he not going to read or respond to me anyways?

    1. Hi Claudia,
      I’m happy to see that you’ve done the work and that you truly seem to want to make this relationship work for the right reasons.
      There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around.
      I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
      Coach N

  59. Im hoping that you can really help me. Tho’ he is not my ex but we almost had a relationship. There’s this guy who made efforts for me within 2 months. Telling me that he likes me and eventually fall in love with me. He said he is willing to wait for me since I am not yet prepared to enter in a commitment or relationship. Then later on I found out that he has a girlfriend. That he is committed to someone. And things everything crushes down. And it really hurts. What I did is, I stepped back. I cut all our connections. Then there’s this time that he tried to call me via messenger but I wasnt able to answer the call. I wont lie. I miss him badly. I miss the attention that he gave to me. That’s why I sent him a message . I asked him how is he doing. Then I noticed that you know his responses are too short not the same as before. Its like he doesnt even want to talk to me. Then he blocked me. What went wrong? Like why is he like that to me. Its like, a few weeks ago he’s telling me that he loves me and now he blocked me? I dont know what should I do. I just really need your coaches. Im gonna wait for it. Thank you .

  60. Im hoping that you can really help me. Tho’ he is not my ex but we almost had a relationship. There’s this guy who made efforts for me within 2 months. Telling me that he likes me and eventually fall in love with me. He said he is willing to wait for me since I am not yet prepared to enter in a commitment or relationship. Then later on I found out that he has a girlfriend. That he is committed to someone. And things everything crushes down. And it really hurts. What I did is, I stepped back. I cut all our connections. Then there’s this time that he tried to call me via messenger but I wasnt able to answer the call. I wont lie. I miss him badly. I miss the attention that he gave to me. That’s why I sent him a message . I asked him how is he doing. Then I noticed that you know his responses are too short not the same as before. Its like he doesnt even want to talk to me. Then he blocked me. What went wrong? Like why is he like that to me. Its like, a few weeks ago he’s telling me that he loves me and now he blocked me? I dont know what should I do. I just really need your coaches. Im gonna wait for it. Thank you .

    1. Hi Elle,
      Thank you for reaching out. Your situation is tricky and will need focussed attention. How you kickstart your relationship will be very critical, because the relationship itself was very short. I invite you to book a session with me by visiting the Coaching tab on this website. I can help.
      Coach N

  61. I’m an alcoholic, and an addict; I was sober for two years until the first attempt of breaking up. She claimed she’d fallen out of love with me and I took it hard. I ended up ruining my sobriety and fell into a state of sadness. It took time and a few behavior modifications but some how I got her to fall back in love with me. The problem is, is I’m an alcoholic. Just because we got back together didn’t mean I was gonna be able to stop drinking. Than came those days where everything was good, but my drunk self begged to differ. You can imagine how unnatractive an alcoholic can be. So I started losing her, started getting clingy. I expected her to be there 24/7, and often told if she wanna go hang out she can, this some how gave her guilt when it came to leaving. Although guilting her was not my intention it often became a subject of argument. Convinced she had to lie to get some space I became confused, are you trying to break up or not? And because of this confusion I became a completely different person, definitely not the man she loved. During my latest drunk out burst I told her ” I’m going to rehab to fix myself, you gonna get all the space you need” admitted I was flirting with a friends girlfriend before hand and pissed off a bunch of people I can only assume she heard about what had happened. Without coming to see me she had blocked and unfriended me on every social media. The friend whom I pissed off being the ONLY messenger said she was DONE. Spoken with no type of sympathy I can’t help the feeling he’s glad I lost her because In his head I got what I deserved. Now I’m drinking like crazy and can’t stop myself from speaking out of pain and anger, I can’t even hide I’m getting drunk anymore and everyone is fed up with me. My plan for no contact is to follow through with the rehab… but I’m scared of what will happen when I get out. Where will I go? Will she come back? Will my life be waiting for me when I get out? I don’t want to lose the one person who loved me in return, when ive been hurt so many times. At this point I’m stuck… any one got an end to this story? Cause I sure as hell don’t .

  62. Hi Mark,
    Thanks for reaching out.
    I can’t help you in this way because I work a bit differently than most coaches. I like to understand all the intricacies of a given situation before providing insights and to make sure I provide you with the most appropriate way forward based on your current circumstances.
    I know from experience that you need tailored support and a list of concrete steps to take to reach your goal. To get there we’ll need to dedicate time and interact in the most optimal way possible to have the desired results and truly maximize your chances of success.
    To that end, I invite you to book a coaching session with me (1h00 hour would be the most ideal). After that it will be easier for me to continue to provide you with advice via email, but for now you’ll understand that it’s a bit difficult for me to advise you appropriately without knowing every relevant detail of your story.
    Here is the link to book a coaching session:

    I promise to speak to you as soon as possible after you complete your booking. The goal of this session will be for us to asses where you truly stand and to provide you with a clear road map to get back together…
    Coach N

  63. Hi Coach Natalie, please I need your help…
    I’ve been watching your videos and they help me a lot to calm down… thanks…

    I don’t know what to do… my ex bf broke up with me 2 months ago. He is 20 years older than me and he is from US while I am from Mexico. We had a 4 year long distance relationship and we only saw each other once in France for a week while I was working there far away from my family. The reason why we only saw each other once is because I live with my parents and I needed to tell them about us in order to feel free to visit him, etc. and I was VERY scared to tell them. My ex bf never put pressure on me to talk to them or gave me any ultimatums so I felt like I still had time…
    However when he broke up with me he told me that because of our LDR he had chronic frustration which eventually evolved into resignation, demoralization, and eventually numbness and a change in feelings. That he stopped being in love with me and felt more like he loved me as a friend. Before me, he dated a woman for 10 years and he only saw her 50 times during that period… so he told me he wanted a normal relationship for a change.

    So I talked to my parents about what happened, they got extremely mad but eventually let the door opened to an understanding in case we reunite. I worked on myself and now I am finally able and I feel free to visit him on a regular basis.

    I wrote my ex bf an email explaining what happened… and he said it was too late because his feelings are not quite the same. That he misses talking to me but that that’s not a reason for us to be together in the long run and that we can’t talk now regularly because he feels “deceptive” since he promised the new woman (who btw met over the internet and is around my same age) in his life not to talk to me. However he says it’s ok if I write ocasionally but that he feels deceptive and guilty to answer.

    So I really don’t know what to do… he never initiates contact, he tells me i can only write every few weeks and that when he talks to me he feels deceptive.

    The implication is I am the cause of the deceptiveness, right?
    But there’s no other way for me to communicate with him 🙁 I stop writing I won’t get him back and if I write I am doing something wrong :/

    What should I do, please please help me. You are very wise I need to know what would you do? …

    Thank you very much

    1. Hey Key,

      Thanks for reaching out.
      I can’t help you in this way because I work a bit differently than most coaches. I like to understand all the intricacies of a given situation before providing insights and to make sure I provide you with the most appropriate way forward based on your current circumstances.
      I know from experience that you need tailored support and a list of concrete steps to take to reach your goal. To get there we’ll need to dedicate time and interact in the most optimal way possible to have the desired results and truly maximize your chances of success.
      To that end, I invite you to book a coaching session with me (1h00 hour would be the most ideal). After that it will be easier for me to continue to provide you with advice via email, but for now you’ll understand that it’s a bit difficult for me to advise you appropriately without knowing every relevant detail of your story.

      Here is the link to book a coaching session:

      I promise to speak to you as soon as possible after you complete your booking. The goal of this session will be for us to asses where you truly stand and to provide you with a clear road map to get back together…

      I wish you all the very best.

      Speak soon,

      Coach Natalie

  64. Hello Coach Natalie,
    I really would like your advice. My ex and I have known each other over a year and a half and met when he was in the middle of a divorce. I have always felt like I was in second place or as if I was in a competition. Three months after him and I first started talking he said he didn’t want to see me again and I stopped talking to him. A month later he asked me to meet up with him. We’ve had our problems, but we weren’t technically in a relationship. Soon after, I left to boot camp. His divorce finalized after I was gone and he tried harder than ever to have me in his life. He wanted to be with me and he really tried talking to me. So we made our relationship official and I moved in with him when I got home. On a trip to meet his family I had come to find out he had been cheating on me with his ex wife and he cheated on her with me when I first met him. When we got home I packed up and he begged me to stay so I did. I never let up though.. I never could heal from it or let go, then I miscarried. Shortly after the miscarriage I moved out. I’m always angry and he’s always depressed. He says he feels trapped. He said he thinks I don’t have ambition and he says I’m lazy among other things.. he thinks I have people to take his place and I think he’s trying to get back with his ex. I haven’t cheated on him, but I talk to other people from time to time because they give me the attention he doesn’t. He finally called it quits last night when he read a message that was sent to me via Snapchat. The message wasn’t too bad but still, it was inappropriate. I didn’t know this person was going to say something like that.. my ex snapped. He packed my stuff and took me home.. but I made a fool of myself and begged him to talk to me. We talked on the way to my house. I just feel stupid and I know I’m a huge part of the problem as to why things went south but I love him very much. Our relationship hasn’t been all bad but ever since I’ve found out about him cheating our relationship spiraled downhill. I want us to try again but right now isn’t the time. Do you think this relationship is worth saving ? If so, do you think this method will work?

    1. Hello Kylie,

      Thanks for reaching out.

      I think that I can help you turn things around but you will need to book a coaching session in order for us to work together.

      You can book a coaching session with me here:

      If you book a session, I will reach out to you right away to schedule a time and day for us to speak.

      Hope to chat with you soon!


      Coach Natalie

  65. Hi Coach Natalie,

    My husband and I separated 2.5 months ago. He broke up with me and moved out and moved in with his mistress he now calls his “girlfriend” who he’s been having an affair with for only 1.5 month before our breakup! It’s a complete total shocker and painful to bear. I’ve been on radio silence for 3 weeks now. Is this just a rebound lady, because I cannot tell. He said he would serve me the divorce papers a month ago, but he never did. Not sure if he is contemplating divorce or not. I’ve suggested marriage counseling and he would avoid the topic. Do you think I have a chance to save my marriage even though we are separated and he is with someone else? Their relationship really doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever except I know he loves the way she makes him feel compared to me. His gf is OBSSESSED with him and is playing the wife role and much older and acts 99.9% like his sugar mama. We were together for 11 years and married for 3 years. So this is extremely difficult to bear. It’s like one min he was talking about having kids with me and was willing to make things work and the next thing you know everything fell apart! Any advice? Thank You.

    1. Hello Misses X,

      Thank you for reaching out to me and for sharing your story.
      There are no guarantees here, as your situation is a complex one…but I do believe that I can help you maximize your chances of making it work – and I do think that it is possible to turn everything around.

      I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.

      Coach Natalie

  66. hey all.
    so I did 30 days of no contact and messaged my ex saying I’ve been working on myself and things look good. she replied and I said it would be a shame to throw away a friendship. she said we can redress that later and I said ok. a couple days later i sent her a text sayING I had to tell her something..she replied and I told her something that reminded me of her. no reply. i had startrd checking her fb again too so i had yo block it for myself control. then a week later I asked her what the name of a restaurant we went to was. . no reply . I can see the mistakes I’m making and I’m trying to force things. I’m going to do no contact again as the first 30 days had me feeling great and these last 2 weeks where I tried to force things it’s brought me down. just wondering if this is the right move for now. I will be getting coaching once I’m going to contact her again, just wondering how long that shouldbbe.
    thanks for all the information you’ve given me so far!

    1. Hi Dil,

      Thank you for sharing your story with me. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation, as I know how painful and frustrating it must be.

      Based on what I’ve read, I invite you to book a session with me. Your situation, although fixable, is complex and will be challenging to express here.

      If you’d like to book, please visit this link:

      I’m looking forward to connecting with you,

      Coach N

  67. Hi Coach Natalie,

    Esther here. My boyfriend and I broke up 4 months ago. We agreed that it was a mutual break up but to everyone it was more of me dumping him. When we were still together we broke up 3 times over small matters. But in any case, i regretted breaking up with him. For the pass 4 months we never stop having contact with each other and he recently started dating someone else. He seems very interested in that girl. I recently just purchase a book from Brad Browning too. I heard about the No-contact rule. But i am not sure whether i should also block him from social media to fulfill the no-contact rule. What should i do next to make him notice or rekindle the love he had for me again? I really want to be with him again.

    1. Hello Esther!

      Thanks for reaching out.

      I think that I can help you turn things around but you will need to book a coaching session in order for us to work together.

      You can book a coaching session with me here:

      If you book a session, I will reach out to you right away to schedule a time and day for us to speak.

      Hope to chat with you soon!


      Coach Natalie

    2. Hi! I’m sorry to hear your situation…. I have a similar story. Do you run into him often??

      It SUCKS to do no contact. But it’s the #1 answer, I’ve learned.

  68. Hi Tt,
    Thanks for reaching out and this is a GREAT question. More often than not, though, your ex will think about you as often as you do them – remember, they’re part of this breakup too! There are different ways to use no contact in your favor. If you need a hand with it, I can help! Please visit this link:
    Wishing you the best!
    Coach N

  69. Then sadly nothing is gonna bring your ex back. If even the feeling of dread and loss can’t bring your ex back then nothing will.

  70. Hi Coach Natalie , my bf asked pause (break) on relationships…. I asked from him “do we need to set the time “, he responded “let’s see” and he told he will let me know … I texted to him back “please “we almost 2 years together , (first time he left me 1 year ago , after 3 days come back).. at this time he asked pause and on our last met he was very cold , 3 weeks past , I texted to him yesterday about the name of the restaurant , he was cold , he replied to my text right away. And acting like he does not care about relationship at all …. still no contact ( how can I let him notice he is not my center of universe) he might be thinking I am still waiting when pause will end ….do I need to delete from Facebook, I don’t use that much social media and not posting that much as well. Do I have to wait until he will contact and will say to me he wants break up or I have delete him from every where , and his birthday is coming do I need to text or no

    1. Hi Teresa,
      I wouldn’t text on his birthday – let him feel the weight of your absence. I know how painful this is for you and I’m sorry. I would love to connect with you; I’m confident I can help you turn this around.
      I invite you to consider a coaching session with me.
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N

  71. Hi Coach,
    My boyfriend and I broke up about a week and a half ago. We had been together almost 2 years. But I wasn’t given a specific reason. I was just told that he was confused and didn’t know what he wants. While I asked him for honesty to be able to learn from this, I just got that “he loves me and wants to see me happy but he is confused.” So I have tried to figure out every reason in my mind, it could be all of them or none of them, and its messing with me.
    I also noticed that he had been texting with another girl prior to our breakup which was very unlike him and he was being hot and cold. So naturally I started to panic. I tried to put a lot of effort in the relationship since he wasn’t really communicating. That didn’t work so that’s when I asked him if he needed space. I told him the relationship wasn’t off the table for me and that I was willing to do what I could to make it work in the long run. He agreed that it wasn’t off the table for him but he also seemed liked he wanted an ending. Part of me wants to believe that he is confused but I also know that he could of lied to spare my feelings. Since then I have put in the no contact rule for myself. I also deactivated all my social media accounts but now I regret it because I made the mistake of looking at his page from another source and saw that he pulled down all of our pictures. That made me feel worse because I’m sure he feels like I blocked him but I really just removed myself from media in general. Did I make a big mistake? What do I do?

    1. Hi Marie,
      Thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this can be. I invite you to schedule a one-on-one, so we can speak. I am confident you can turn this around – but based on my experience, know that this will require a tailored strategy.
      Wishing you the best and I hope to connect with you.
      Coach N

  72. I have been married for about 18 months now.
    My wife has been throwing this leaving the house drama all the time. Whenever there is a conflict, disagreement, fight even on trivial things, she always said “why am I living with you” and always wanted to leave me and go to her sister’s. Her sister lives nearby and her father also lives with her sister.
    Whenever things don’t happen according to her, she always gets extremely angry and upset and then again has threatened to stop living with me.
    In the past whenever she threatened to leave, I would always become submissive and beg, plead her to stay and she would stay after all crying emotional drama. In fact in the past I even showed suicidal attempts by saying that I couldn’t live without her. I admit that was a sick mistake I did. After some self evaluation I stopped that suicidal drama. But she would only stay with me on her terms after having me beg and plead all the time.

    Anyway, she has actually left me twice before and went to her sister’s. That time I became so anxious that I went there and put my points in front of her sister, father and sister’s husband. They tried to make things cooler and after a discussion she came back with me. Her own father agreed with my points that she shouldn’t leave the house or threaten for divorce over such petty issues. I have been chasing her all the time whenever she gets upset and tries to abandon me.

    Now, I am tired of this and feel pathetic about myself. She would never say any positive things like improving the relationship, just resorts to leave the relationship forever. Whenever I try to talk calmly and frankly she would just say that “You will not understand” and give up making an effort on the relationship. She also has this tendency to always not admitting to her mistakes. If I point out any mistake that she makes, she gets extremely upset and in the end I have to say sorry for nothing. After apologizing constantly I have started losing my self-esteem and becoming resentful towards her.

    I feel like I am stepping on eggshells and trying too hard not to upset her and keep her happy. But no matter what I do, she is never happy and talks about leaving every now and then. Always keeps on pulling away.

    Recently she spent 1 week without talking to me, having food alone being completely cold and distant. When I asked her about having food together, she denied. When I made attempts to talk to her, she just denied and stayed distant. One day she made an attempt to connect and started crying, I hugged her. Next day she again started saying that I don’t care even if she leaves. I said “No, I care and it affects me” but I can’t force you to stay with me. I made several attempts to talk to you but you just became so distant.
    Then I gave her my hand but she didn’t hold it. She just started packing her begs and went away next day morning. I tried twice to stop by saying it is not good to leave like this and we can talk about things but she just said I wouldn’t understand and left. She went to her sister’s.
    One thing I did different this time that I didn’t stop her this time from going. I let her go. I tried to stop with a calm and normal tone but didn’t beg or plead or cried.

    It’s been a week when she left and there is no contact between us. I miss her all the time and feeling so sad but I haven’t tried contacting her at all.

    Am I doing the right thing? if not, what should I do?

  73. Hi!
    I’m 8 days into NC and I’m in a bit of a pickle.
    I’ve been sent a message that I’ve successfully kept away from but recently my brother went to hospital as he had an accident. She’s messaged me to see how he is. Do I replying coz she’s being genuine or still leave it? I want to reply coz she does care but I’m stuck. Help! Haha

    1. Hi John!
      Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your situation, about both your ex and your brother. I would reply to her, but it depends on how you go about it. I invite you to schedule a session with me so I can be filled in and help you take this the direction you want.
      Please visit this link if you’d like to schedule :
      Coach N

  74. Hey!
    We had been dating with my ex for two months and we were truly in love with each over, this was his first relationship after three years and I was the first girl he felt in love. Suddenly, he just missed his old life an he got bored of being in a relationship, not me and he begged me to stay really good friends and act like nothing has happened. I miss him so much and I cant be friends with him, I just don’t know how to make him miss me and remember how it was like to be together…. Your help would mean the world to me.

  75. My question is simple, everything makes sense. After the no contact rule, even if they message me do I still need to ignore them? And then once I change and be the man I need to be, how do I let them know I’ve changed? Especially since we don’t see each other n we blocked each other from social media. Then if I ignore them or do no contact at all cost what happens if I reconnect and the time has past too much and they don’t want me anymore

    1. Hi Jake,
      Thanks for reaching out – you’ve posed some great questions here. It seems to me, though, like the answers to these questions will be relative to your unique situation. Not everyone should behave in the same way, as your relationship is only between you and your ex. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me, so we can discuss what will make the most sense for you.
      If you’d like to connect, please visit this link :
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N

  76. Hi me and my man broke up last Saturday we were together for 5 months and it was long distance so we only saw eachother 1 time a week if that. we had discussed it the day before my birthday that he’s working on himself and not ready for a relationship and he asked what I wanted to do like it was my choice and I asked him what he wants to do I told him I cared for him anyway he asked well do you want to take a break and I said IDK I’m tired we can talk about it tomorrow. He came into town for my birthday and took me out to eat then we had drinks the night went good then when we went to bed I said oh yah we have to finish our chit chat and he said now isn’t a good time since he wasn’t feeling good I felt bad and said ok tomorrow then. Then in the morning he kissed me goodbye and told me happy birthday after he left I sent the dreaded dumb text that I kick myself in the ass for lol.. “It said thanks again for last night had fun! was kindof quiet too probably cause I was sick and felt like crap plus sometimes I’m just that way too. anyway I just wanted to say I enjoy the time we have together and I would be willing to do what we have been doing and go with it but don’t want to make you if you don’t want to you need to want to do the same too and I’m not the kind of person to force shit. I don’t want to get into shit fast either I have my real estate I’m gonna focus on and making myself better as a person as well a relationship can will still be there if it’s gonna work. What I’m saying is I have your back and willing to stand by you through this even though I’m 45 miles away but again I don’t want to force shit that might not be there for you. Ok I’m done blabbing you don’t have to respond right away get some rest you were in bad shape this morning lol.” Sent that shortly after he left ugh I was so mad at myself he hasn’t contacted me since then and I haven’t either I’m not gonna give in. But was wondering do you think I still have a chance of him wanting me again? or did I screw it up for good? His friend told my friend that I need to not text him after that cause he probably feels like youre pushing him and that’s what it seemed like god I’m crazy lol. He said to pull back and don’t send anymore or it’ll pushing him away further. So is there a chance I can real him back in?

  77. Hi me and my man broke up last Saturday we were together for 5 months and it was long distance so we only saw eachother 1 time a week if that. we had discussed it the day before my birthday that he’s working on himself and not ready for a relationship and he asked what I wanted to do like it was my choice and I asked him what he wants to do I told him I cared for him anyway he asked well do you want to take a break and I said IDK I’m tired we can talk about it tomorrow. He came into town for my birthday and took me out to eat then we had drinks the night went good then when we went to bed I said oh yah we have to finish our chit chat and he said now isn’t a good time since he wasn’t feeling good I felt bad and said ok tomorrow then. Then in the morning he kissed me goodbye and told me happy birthday after he left I sent the dreaded dumb text that I kick myself in the ass for lol.. “It said thanks again for last night had fun! was kindof quiet too probably cause I was sick and felt like crap plus sometimes I’m just that way too. anyway I just wanted to say I enjoy the time we have together and I would be willing to do what we have been doing and go with it but don’t want to make you if you don’t want to you need to want to do the same too and I’m not the kind of person to force shit. I don’t want to get into shit fast either I have my real estate I’m gonna focus on and making myself better as a person as well a relationship can will still be there if it’s gonna work. What I’m saying is I have your back and willing to stand by you through this even though I’m 45 miles away but again I don’t want to force shit that might not be there for you. Ok I’m done blabbing you don’t have to respond right away get some rest you were in bad shape this morning lol.” Sent that shortly after he left ugh I was so mad at myself he hasn’t contacted me since then and I haven’t either I’m not gonna give in. But was wondering do you think I still have a chance of him wanting me again? or did I screw it up for good? His friend told my friend that I need to not text him after that cause he probably feels like youre pushing him and that’s what it seemed like god I’m crazy lol. He said to pull back and don’t send anymore or it’ll pushing him away further. So is there a chance I can real him back in with the no contact for 1 month? Even if I sent that ridiculous text that I’m ashamed of.

  78. Hello, I was wondering if this no contact rule applies even when it’s not our first break up (it’s the third) and if no contact has been tried the previous times as well, following which I must confess, the second time around I broke down and pleaded to him.

  79. Hi Coaches,

    I’m applying the NCP currently. However, I had bought presents for my ex right before she broke up with me. Is it advisable to pass her the presents through a friend? Will that push her further away?

  80. Hi~
    My ex decided to do a no contact with me and only allow our discussion to be done in a group chat. I was unable to handle the pain from the total cut off and behaved really terribly. The thing is, she never blocked me even when I requested her to do so because I was overtly emotional. But she is very firm about the no contact and will never reply to my emotional text. It’s my first relationship. I want her back as a friend because we were friends before anything. Reading this post, I realised how much damage I have done. Is it too late for me to save our friendship? Please advise. =)

  81. Hi Sergio,
    Thanks for reaching out and you’ve posed some great questions. In reality, moving out is the smarter move – she needs to know you listen to her and respect her. By not moving, you only show that you value your feelings and wants more than hers. If you want to discuss this further, I’d love to help. I invite you to schedule a session.
    Coach N

  82. hope you can answer this coment. I had a 6 years relationship and we broke up 3 weeks ago, after 2 weeks of the break up I told her that i wanted to come back and her answer was no. I started suspecting that she might have someone new in her life because she was alway online at 3 or 4 am talking with someone plus many other thing. I confronted her about the issue and asked her to be honest with me, because how can she forget about me after only 3 weeks?! we were together for 6 years and she replaced me in a heartbeat! She started beign very cold and indiferent and she blocked me from whatsapp, and today I found a picture of her and the guy I was suspicious together, and its killing me. I am following your videos and I know that No contact rule is my only option but I know that I am only giving her space to remake her life with someone new and I dont know how to feel about it. I love her and whant her to be happy but its killing me to see her with that guy that its the opposite of me. Is she going to forget me? Am I just wasting my time thinking that she might miss me and talk to me one day? what do u think?

  83. My girlfriend of 5 yrs broke up with me about 7 weeks ago, she said she is not where she wants to be in life and needs to work on her emotional issues. i went no contact 2 weeks she started callling and txting after a month she asked me out to lunch and we had a great time, she txt me later that day saying we could start slowly dating again that maybe she neede to remember why we fell in love in the first place, she always comtacted me and asked me out but canceled because she had already plans with her daughter. I felt a vibe from her so i asked what was wrong and she said she thought we were moving to fast and that she didnt want a boyfriend she wanted to take care of herself,i told her when she decided what she wants to call me,maybe ill still be single so i went about a week nc and had txt her she called immediatly instead of replying by txtnow she calling and txting again and i dont know if i should try to get her back by setting up dates even though she still says shes not interested in a relationship bit still wants to go out with me and all that same stuff or should i go back to no contact i dont know what to do

    1. Hi Anthony,
      Thanks for reaching out – remember, if a relationship is what you want, don’t let someone pick and choose how much of you they get to get. If she only wants some things, and you want it all, then maybe you shouldn’t be too available to her.
      Coach N.

  84. Hello my girlfriend and me were dating for almost a year and it feels like out of nowhere she decided to end things. She said she was unhappy with the person she became and that she felt we were in two different places in our lives and that maybe I might a few months when can try again. It’s been almost a month and I’ve been trying to be strong but it’s hard I’m thinking about starting no contact but I’m scared of losing what “friendship” we have now. I don’t know what to do

  85. Hello,

    Me and this guy were speaking for 3 months, and become very connected. We took everything slow getting to know one another, and becoming official was our goal. He is a teacher and coach, and he warned me that he would not be able to see me a lot because of a busy schedule. I highly respected his space. His communication started to gradually become less, less of holding hands later on, he was always so tired, etc right when he started work. I brought my concerns of him. Next time I saw him, he put more much effort into showing me he does care ‘in person’. I did feel right now was not the right time for him to be in a relationship, as I need more. He beat me to the punch by text a week ago, and said he is struggling to balance everything and he cannot pursue me the way I ought to be right now, and complimented on my traits (“kind, beautiful, great cook, fun and so many other great qualities!”). I told him “when you are ready I hope to hear from you. Take care”, and he liked the text right away (thumbs up). Does that mean he will reconsider when he has more time and still interested or not at all by being nice? When should I recontact him to follow up how he is doing? Is being so busy really the case as he has been very honest with everything?

    I would love the advice as I really do care about him and would like to rekindle. It’s really hard right now, as I’m not sure what to do in this case.
    Hope to hear a response!

  86. Me and my girlfriend were dating for 6 years and on September 13 we took a break about three weeks ago and she told me at first that she was mentally and emotionally scared of me and that she needed to find herself and I said I was alright with it and then I pleaded and begged which was a mistake but she told me after I did this that she doesn’t want to see or talk to me and she doesn’t know when she will so I’ve used the no contact rule for these three weeks and have been really working on myself and changing but she’s been posting on Facebook that “she was a good woman to the wrong man” and she loved my cousins photo that said “if he was doing the same thing in the beginning of the relationship then he won’t change” so what should I do because she won’t let me showcase my evolution because she is so angry and vindictive on Facebook?

    1. Hi MP,
      I would give her a lot of space. If she’s still too angry, then wait until she cools off. She won’t be receptive to your efforts until she’s ready.
      Coach N

  87. Hello. My ex just moved out from my home. We have been together for 2 years. We had a very good relationship- best relationship he ever had, he said. when he broke up with me he said that this relashionship can not last forever like this and that we need either to get married or to end it. That he was thinking about proposing me, but he said that he has nothing to offer me once we are merried ( no stable job). This was the obstacle and he just can’t make the next step. He really loves me and he is suffering right now, because he left. I told him that I’m very angry at him that he didn’t choose the other option ( to propose me ) and he said he is angry at himself as well, but he needs to live with that option from now on. How should I apply the NC rule? He has his own business which is not good at the moment. He said that it might take years to fix it and since I’m 34 he doesn’t want to waste my time. Btw – he did the same last year before moving to my house. He was afraid of that commitment. He broke with me and I made NC rule which obviously worked. In this case should I do the same? It will be so obvious…. I really want him back. Our love is mutual and I blame his depression for the choice he made. he wrote me yesterday a long message, telling me that he loves me and he is suffering, having a panic attack that he lost the one thing that was good in his life, however he didn’t mention anything about coming back ( I’m sure it’s because only 3 days have passed ). Oh, I didn’t reply to his message

    1. Hi T,
      Thanks for reaching out. I think giving the relationship space is a great idea. Let him focus on himself for a bit and his self esteem. Meanwhile, you focus on healing.
      Coach N

  88. Me and my ex were together 7 1/2 months he broke up with me ans blocked me from all social media. Within those months we did not date or have sex. So I reached out to outsiders which was a big mistake to see what I could do to get his attention mostly everyone I talked to said he was messing around because he was in charge of a Facebook planning events and he was hanging out with alot of female friends. So we talked and he got angry because he said I believed his friends over him instead of listening to him. I’m so hurt by default because he blocked me my first day of the no contact rule starts today. I just would like to know if he will come back. Where do I go from here and how many days do I have to wait before contacting him? My son loves him and my family they are gonna be disappointed

    1. Hi Keisha,
      Thanks for reaching out. I know how painful this is. Due to the complexity of your situation, I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Coach Adrian and myself, so we can get some thorough context before recommending what to do.
      Coach N.

      1. Hi Natalie. I’m having a hard time as I’m upset my ex is ignoring me for no reason. Left him messages just quick to say hi and no reply yet he don’t block me.. would u provide me with One free coaching session? Thanks

  89. Me and my ex were together for 4 years. He broke up with the me over a month ago, during that month i pleaded and begged but I did limited contact and I always ended the convo 1st. He said he still loves me, cares about me and miss me but he recently got a new gf :/ so I finally put my foot down and said I am cutting contact for good I don’t want to be his friends and I told him to only reach out to me if he wants to rekindle and work things out with me. So I deleted him off every social media. Just wondering will this NC still work in my favor? 🙁 I know I shouldn’t have left the ball in his court and should have gone cold turkey with no explanation. Is there still a chance of getting him back 🙁 and does he even miss me now that he got a new gf.

    1. Hi Joey,
      Thanks for reaching out – I believe that there is an opportunity to turn this around, but without more context, I can’t really share how to go about it. I invite you to schedule a one-on-one with me. I’d love to connect.
      Coach N

  90. The girl I got into a relationship with was in a five year abusive relationship while she met me, I talked to her originally to become friends, well when we started talking she was saying she didn’t think their relationship would last anymore and about two weeks later she broke up with him and then three days after that started dating me, so I was a rebound. She was hesitant but she got into a relationship with me knowing that I was going to be moving 1700 miles away just over a month later. Well three weeks after moving she then messaged me saying she didn’t know if she could do this anymore and she had to think about it, during the last week or two of the relationship I was kinda distant because of stress originally losing my job, car breaking down, and almost losing my home down here. Although for the majority she cut off from me during the week that she was going over it three times or so I tried to contact her to work things out. She ended up saying that she thinks she doesn’t want a relationship right now and she has to work on herself and it was nothing I had done, that we could still be friends if I wanted to. I ended up asking her if she had a period of time that she may need to sort things out and she said she didn’t know. I got her to call me that night for five minutes where I said I was willing to give her space to work on herself and that because of the job I got that day I could cut the time I was going to be away from a year to six months, she never responded and just said her phone was dying and she was going to have to let me go. My phone is now shut off until I can get paid. I sent two messages after that open-ended reinforcing that I am open to work on things together and give her the space she needs, and the distance I’m sure the most someone has asked of her but I asked it with all my heart. She never responded to that and two days later I asked her to call me again and she has never responded just kept it on “read”, haven’t messaged her since and it’s been two days. I check her Facebook a lot but no longer “react” to the post on there, but yesterday she said that tonight should be fun and just said in the comments that shed message her friend the details. This morning she put had a good night last night, then a separate post it’s cute when people snore. I had a feeling yesterday because of how she and I started off that she was with another guy(s) even though I could be overreacting but I don’t know. It destroys me seeing the stuff she post but I can’t stop looking for some reason, even though I know I should just stop and go back to myself because I don’t need her but I do miss her a lot and had seen a future with her. Does this mean she has a rebound for a rebound? And is there is a possibility to fix this if that’s the case?

    1. Hi Steven,
      Thanks for reaching out. This situation is very delicate, both in terms of her previous relationship and in your relationship with her – and due to this, feel it necessary to request a session with you. I want to know a lot of context around this situation. If you’re interested in connecting with us in this way, I invite you to please visit this link :

  91. Hello,
    I dated this guy for 10 months and we broke up 2 months ago because he said he needed to find what was going to make him happy in his life and wasn’t sure a serious relationship would do that for him at this point. There was no drama or fighting or anything of that sort before he just decided to break things off out of the blue. He’s been going to therapy to solve family issues and I know he had been struggling with things in his life but our relationship seemed to be going as great as usual until e broke up with me. After the break up we kept being in the cycle of him reaching out, us starting to talk as usual and him freaking out and ignoring me. After a month of doing that I did some research and started the no contact period. We haven’t talked in 3 weeks. I’m just not sure how much time I should give things. I am feeling good and confident but I still want him back. I’m just concerned that if I give it too much time he will just move on and if i don’t give it enough so he can figure out what he wants then I’ll mess up too. He says his dilemma is that he doesn’t know if he loves me or just loves everything I’ve done for him because he doesn’t know what love is supposed to feel like. I know if I started contact with him he would reply but I don’t want to go back to the same cycle where he freaks out after a few times of talking and starts ignoring me all over again.I would like to schedule a one-on-one with you but it’s not possible for me at the moment. I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

  92. Hello,
    I was in a relationship with this girl for over 3 years. I was broken up with and we didn’t end on great terms. I chose to implement the “no contact” rule and it had been about 2 and a half weeks and today she texted me asking “how i’ve been,” I was short and concise in the few responses I’ve given and I haven’t responded with a question. She keeps asking little questions in what seems like an attempt to keep the conversation going.. What should I do? continue responding? Thanks in advance.

    1. Hi Joey,
      How much you engage will be dependent on the length and type of relationship you were in. However, I would be responsive and try to convert it to a face-to-face. If you need help on how to achieve this, Id love to coach you.

  93. Natalie please help! My situation is a bit different; we were for a year and a month together, break up was almost 2 weeks ago; last month was our 1 year anniversary, he wrote to me that he thanks me for the 365 days of love, that his life was not empty anymore and that he can’t wait where future takes us… But he said to me that he was feeling weird last couple of months about us, but he could never break up cause he loves me! He is scared that we are not that ideal, he is thinking with his brain, but not his heart! It’s about differences, example im not that into science, like he is, don’t like his type of things; he is 27, im turning 20 in January..i know, it’s weird… We travelled together, we were 2 months apart, and he haven’t cheated me, he waited and then comed to the place where i was working, for a holliday, and we came back together to our hometown… And know, it’s so weird.. We are an homosexual couple; he texted me 2 times, and we had a longer conversation, but anything about getting back together wasn’t mentioned; We said that 2 weeks later we will meet so i can download some pics from his computer.. He even encourages that i will find a right man, that im too cute etc.. 3 days after the break up he said that he can’t be on dating sites for 5 mins, im on his mind, and he was a bit jelly when I mentioned that i have a new male friend that gave me the exercise plan; i started to work out, sended him pics after work out in his favorite undies of mine lol and he said that he is happy that im taking care of my body, and he is in a quite shock lol… What should i to, im not contacting him and begging; we love each other, and im changing, cause i know i was a bit shitty last couple of months… I was thinking about rescheduling our meeting that will be in 2 days, to 2 november.. Cause i want to do a seminar assignemt for college, and i know he will go crazy when he hears about it, cause he loves people that tend to learn more in life; he’s an brainoholic…His messages were hot n cold, he even insulted me but with sarcasm, then he said that he is sorry, joking, good night and i just left him with a “seen”; we haven’t heard from that day, it was last Wednesday. I want to text him about rescheduling our meet, and to say about the assignemnt for college, and to tell him that he was right that the human brain is the best superpower that exists, because i changed; i don’t want to be the same person i was; i workout, study hard.. I think he found a rebound. And some lady told me if i say and do all of that, he will snap back for me, he will see that the rebound is useless… Im not doing anything dramatic tho, only text about reschedule, how im great and see you soon.. Is that ok?

    1. Hi John,
      Without knowing details, I can say that so far, so good. Keep it really easy and light. That’s the wisest approach. If you need a tailored strategy, I invite you to consider scheduling a session with Adrian or myself. We’d love to help.

  94. Hi Annie,
    I would congratulate him on his exams being done, but maybe not push for a face-to-face. In reality, I’d have to know a lot more about the situation to in order to provide a through analysis.
    I do however hope this helps!
    Coach Natalie

  95. He said he’s just not that into me. Not invested in me. But he didn’t show one sign. Everything was great, he seemed so into me, texted daily, etc. Then out of the blue “we need to talk”. He said he felt that way for almost a month. He’s been snapchatting to his story (not sending to me) more than before breakup. Random daily stuff, no partying type stuff.
    I have no idea what went wrong or what “wasn’t there”. I just want him back and want to fix this. Help!

    1. Hi Amanda,
      How long was the relationship? What was the dynamic? In order for me to help, I’m going to need to know a bit of context – I invite you to schedule a session with Adrian or I. We can help you get results.

  96. He broke it off. Said he’s just not that into me. Not invested. But there were no signs. He seemed so into me and just bam. All of a sudden “we need to talk”.
    I’ve seen from Snapchat stories, he’s posting more than usual. Just every day stuff, no party-wild type stuff. He’s deleted photos of us he posted on social. I have no idea what went wrong or what “wasn’t there”. I just miss him so much and wish there was something I could do to fix this. Help!

    1. Hi Hillary,
      Always remember, the day he ended it wasn’t the day he decided to. Try spending time assessing what was going wrong in the belly of your relationship. If you need help determining what went wrong and how to fix it, I’d love to help you rekindle with your ex via a one-on-one chat.
      Wishing you the best, hang in there,

  97. I’ve known this woman for 3 months. We got to know each other after she moved from a different construction project. Since we live in a Muslim country and she’s from a religious family, we never dated and rarely did we chat, except for on lunch breaks when hardly anyone was around. We did communicate extensively via messenger, thus exchanging family photos and intimate messages back and forth. She never said she loved me, but, definitely expressed it. Then, as she’s been having issues with her boss, she got let go. One day, as I encouraged her to keep applying for jobs in addition to myself trying to find her something else in the same project, she politely told me to leave her alone and I did. Next day, before I know it, I’m unfriended and completely blocked from Facebook and messenger. Everytime she passed by the office to deal with admin, other personnel and whatnot, I’d wave at her and she’d completely ignore me. I found out the reason was people were talking about her in the office and I have no idea what this has to do with me. Out of utmost sadness, hurt, anger, I passed a message via my friend stating how hurt and sorry I am for whatever went wrong, that I love her and wanted to spend my life with her (mistake). Then, the week after, I had my mom contact her and their texting convo seemed to go well. Here I am now and after reading this, I keep getting in my mind that one way or another, I will get her back.

  98. Hi Coach Natalie,

    Firstly, thank you so much for posting videos on Love Advice TV. They have been tremendously helpful.

    I’ve been implementing radio silence for nearly a month now, and I feel stronger. I’ve taken this time as a recovery time to analyze what went wrong in my relationship and what I could do to improve. I’ve also been working on myself, and although everything still hurts horribly, I am taking baby-steps every day to make sure I am a better me.

    However… I don’t know about my ex. Although we had been dating for nearly two years, she found a new boyfriend just three weeks after we broke up. She told me that her coworker and her really connected over discussing my break-up, and that she is able to date him because “she fell out of love” months prior in our relationship. She also announced on FaceBook that she found a new boyfriend — which took me and her one whole year to announce.

    But recently — I think two weeks ago — she reached out saying she needed to block me on everything because seeing me on social media made her think about our memories together. I didn’t respond.

    It’s been almost one month of NC. Do you think this is a rebound relationship? It all seems like her new relationship is the real deal… furthermore, what is even harder is that this is was a long-distance relationship. Do you think I should reach out to her?

    1. Hi Joseph,
      Thanks for reaching out – you’ve posed some great questions and insight here. In breakups, it’s important to consider whether or not your ex is growing at the same rate you are. If she leaped into a new relationship, she’s likely avoiding the grieving process of breaking up with you, and so isn’t growing at the same rate (in terms of acceptance, accountability and development) that you are. Be mindful of this when trying to determine if she’s the woman for you.
      Coach Natalie

  99. I was dating this guy from Egypt. We met in June and finally got the courage to go meet him. I went to Egypt in September and stayed until end of October. When I returned I found out I was pregnant. I told him the news and he said he wasn’t ready for this. He is a Muslim so babies out of wedlock is a big no no. Se out of wedlock is also a big no no but ok. I refused to have an abortion and left him. We went silent and my family started to harras him. I reached out to him and requested that he give up his parental rightso. I explained to him that I didn’t want him coming back later in the baby’s life and try to claim him. He then said….. I don’t believe you’re pregnant. Ok that’s fine just sign the paper. He refused. I was calm collected while he was furious asking me to leave him alone and forget about him. I said I would as soon as I got the paper signed. He refused again and blocked me. I closed all my apps and fb account. This is I believe day 4 of no contact. My question is…….is there a chance for us to get back together??? I still love him and hope he change his mind for the baby’s sake. I wish we can be a family. I go back to Egypt in December. What should I do??? I don’t know what to do anymore😢😢

  100. Hi- We broke up yesterday. We had only been dating for three months. The past two weeks she has been struggling with how she felt about us. When we first got together we immediately hit it off. She told me how safe made her feel, the best sex she ever had, she again told me this when we broke up last night. She became passive about me because of my child custody case with my ex. It’s tough, my daughter started becoming close to her and her daughter.

    We never fought and the passion was strong until two weeks ago. She just felt overwhelmed with what was happening on my end with my child custody case. Didn’t plead or beg last night when we broke up. Just told her that it hurts we aren’t going to work out, but thanked her for the time we had together.

    Just want to reach out to her but know shouldn’t. Going to go no contact in hopes of healing myself and maybe regain her passion for me. Does the radio silence work for a relationship that was still pretty young? The things that are positive are that we did not fight, no infidelity, no major mistakes. Please help

  101. Hey coach Natalie…i was in a serious relationship with my girl… We were in relationship for more than 4 year’s but I did something wrong and after that she broke up with me…i was doing sex chat with some other girl so she got to know about it….but I apologized a lot but now she don’t want anything but I can’t forget her I want her back at any cost please help me out…its been 15days we are not talking to each other now I am dying to talk to her buy I am not getting any response from her… Please let me know what should I do…

    1. Hello Bunny,
      One thing I want to mention here is to stop apologizing. When you apologize, it reminds your ex of what went wrong. What you can do is focus on your personal development and showing her that this is not something you wouldnt do again. I have the perfect thing for you here. I also invite you to reach out to Natalie for a private coaching session.

      WMEA Team

  102. Hey Natalie, I just messaged her and implemented my no contact yesterday. My question is should i go radio silent on everything? i can see she is still looking at my new pins and therefore still has an idea of what i am doing, if only for those few mins. i know when she originally went no contact on me, she kept using pinterest and seeing her new pins at night made me feel better. Once i stopped trying to contact her, she stopped all online activity and it def made me miss her worse. it’s like, when i saw her new pins at night, i knew at that moment exactly what she was doing, laying down and getting ready for bed. I know she is still doing it, but im guessing she has starting pinning private, so i can no longer see. what do you think? THANKS!

    1. Hi Austin,
      Thanks for reaching out. A suggestion I would have is to cut off all social media for a bit, and if there is something that comes up during the no-contact period and you would like to post because you are doing it for you, then I would advise doing so.
      Hope this helps, and we know you can do it. Good Luck!
      WMEA Team

  103. Hey coach,
    My ex says she doesn’t want a relationship because she has to juggle so many stressful things in her life, but she showed so much affection for me hours before it happened. What do I do?

    1. Hi Conner,
      Thank you for your comment. I encourage you to give her some time to think about things and also take this opportunity to do things for you. Continue to support her when she ask for it and make sure your uplifting when she does.
      WMEA Team

  104. Hello LR,
    Thank you for your comment. Unfortunetly Natalie and Ardian are extremely busy with coachings and we have someone on our team answering your question. I would encourage you to do some self-reflection and figure out why these emotions are coming up for you. Then, not contact her even though it may be hard and you can gain control back into the relationship.
    WMEA Team

  105. It has been 29 days…. And 24
    Of nc
    Umm I have all the negative signs but 18 days ago she was asking about me from a girl she knew I was talking to…. She found her in the crowd and reached out… She didn’t had any reasons for the break up… She told that girl not to tell me that she talked to her about me…. But still I m blocked everywhere…. What does that mean… Is it a positive sign..but after that she s gone cold totally still blocked… She not even talking to her..

    1. Hello Aishwary,
      Thank you for your comment. I encourage you to continue to give her space and see what happens.
      WMEA Team

  106. Hey I really need some help and advise because I’m really lost in the situation that I’m in. So I’m a 19 years old girl and I met that awsome, lovely and nicest guy ever who’s 22, during a sejour in Itlay. Not to talk to fast but I relly thought that he could be the one. We started this very intense and close Relationship for about 2 months. Very fast we moved to live together (like after 1 week) and we spent all of our time together, we were 24/7 together days and nights, which created a need of having the other around constantly. But came the day that he had to return to his home country (USA) while me will soon be living for university in Australia.
    Sadly despit that beg to try a long-distance relationship, HE decided to break up with me for not being a hold back for my future life and told me that we never know in the future we can meet back up and that today it’s the best choice for both of us and we should see in the future what can happen between us. Which has obviously gave me hope to be with him again. But I just can give up to get back with him because it make me so sad and depress to think that I lost him just because of the distance. It has been 2 weeks now that we are separate and I really don’t know what to do and need help.
    By being with him 24/7 for 2 months I now feel very lonely and miss his presence next to me. Should I keep trying to win him back despite the distance and how should I procced? Or should I just wait 3 years until i graduate and pray that by then he will be single or not engaged and might want to start again this relation with me? I don’t know if his ignoring me or just busy to be back to his home country and back to his routine but he always take 3 days to answer back my messages and it’s seems that he doesn’t care at all about me anymore.
    Thanks for the advices

  107. 40 days of nc… 30 days ago she was asking about me from a girl she knew I was talking to…she found her in the crowd and reached out…. She wasnt negative about me.. She didn’t had any reason for the breakup … But why am I still blocked… No activities none..

    1. Hello Tim,
      Thank you for your comment. No, it’s not depending on the relationship. You want to do radio silence when you want to show your ex-actions that you are improving and change when you seem to be always available. These are just scenarios to answer your question as there are many explained in this article. Hope this helps!
      WMEA Team

  108. Miguel,
    Thank you for you comment. We really appreciate it! 🙂 Check out our YouTube channel as well if you haven’t. It’s called Love Advice TV.
    WMEA Team

  109. Hello,
    Thank you for your comment. At this point in the relationship I suggest you do whats best for you. Not sleeping together till he shows signs of change is a great idea. The only thing I advise you to do is take things slow and do some self-reflection on this relationship. Does it bring you more joy or sadness? Also, taking your time will help you get your answers before getting more heavily involved and possibly getting hurt again.
    WMEA Team

  110. I know right?…What’s up with the blocking…Especially when there are no fights and nastiness?…Is it guilt or the fear of confrontation? Does anyone know what is going through their heads when they do this, especially when the breakup is initiated by them because they have GIGS and they are unsure…

  111. Hello Tanya,
    At this moment I would give him some time and space. Even though you are doing this, currently you will need to continue to do this throughout the friendship if he reaches out. I would take some time to focus on you as it’s not guaranteed he will 100% commit to the relationship in the future. Taking some time to figure out where things went lost and try to show change by actions is going to be vital in this relationship.
    WMEA Team

  112. Hello B,
    Thank you for your comment. Typically when an ex blocks you its for them to have there time to focus on themselves as it can be difficult to be influenced if an ex is still in contact with them. This does not mean they do not care it just might mean that its harder for them to move forward, or to get the moment to themselves to reflect and take upon themselves to develop or get there life back by themselves.
    WMEA Team

  113. Hello Li,
    It seems as though you are on the right track. If you feel strong enough to establish a friendship without intimacy then I would do this. Also, concentrate on yourself and be social as this can distract you from being too available.
    WMEA Team

  114. Tim,
    When you reconnect you tell her it was to evaluate what went wrong in the relationship and your own personal growth. This will show her that you are taking matters seriously.
    WMEA Team

  115. Hello JRG,
    Keep the radio silence going. Also I invite you to look into our product page and our video seminars can possibly help you.
    WMEA Team

  116. Hello,
    I had a relationship of 2 year 3 months.Initially He was a very nice person. He cared a lot, brought flowers for me on every date for a whole year. Helped me a lot whenever I needed. After a year we frequently had arguments quarrel. I broke up with him several times out of anger but always got back to him within short time ( with a week or two weeks at max). He also promised me to marry this year.

    I used to complain a lot against him which I regret now.I ignored his good sides and focused more on bad sides. So, this is the FIRST time he broke up but it is for good. He broke up with me over phone conversation after an argument and said to marry somebody else as soon as possible. After 2 days I also said sorry but he said he is sorry to but it is not possible for him to continue because we don’t get along anymore. Then I replied its absolutely OK and to consider me as well wisher. From that day to till now I have never contacted him. It’s already 2 months.

    After 2 weeks he unfriended me on fb.removed me from Snapchat , Instagram.also blocked me on Whatsapp. Untagged all our couple photos and deleted couple photos from his profile.But he kept all my single photos with romantic captions.After a month of break up he also deleted my single photos.So I also in followed him on insta and deleted all our pictures straight away. Suddenly before a week of new year I checked his whatsapp n Instagram pp and saw he made the profile of the Gift that I gave him on our first anniversary. He kept it for a week. Suddenly again after 12:00 am after new years eve he blocked me on Whatsapp ! These signs r too confusing.

    I know I should stop stalking him but I’m shocked how could someone who made plans of marriage for years after years with me cut off all contact n memories soo quickly n give me mixed vibes time to time.I am really confused.

    1. Hello Maria,
      I think the best thing for you to do is move forward and stop looking at his social media. I know right now it can be difficult and confusing, but for you to move forward, you have to separate yourself from trying to find the answers. If he wants to move forward in the future, he will reach out. Concentrate on you moving forward.
      WMEA Team

  117. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 8 months with the man I thought i would marry. 6 months into the relationship I started to have insecurity and worry. It eventually lead to him completely shutting down and pulling away. I couldn’t get him to come back to that loving safe place after apologizing and trying to explain myself away. Each time we were together he was so cold but he wouldn’t break up with me. Eventually I had to break up with him because it’s been so hard to be around him when he was treating me so differently It’s like he fell out of love with me. It’s only been 3 days but my heart is in so much pain. I feel like this happened for nothing and I regret ending it. How can I turn this around and get him back? I am doing everything in my power to not to contact him. What more can I do? Is this a hopeless situation? It’s also hard because we don’t live in the same city. Help. 🙁

    1. Hello ShellyK,
      Thank you for your comment. I know right now can be extremely difficult and this is something that just happened so please be patient with your emotions. Now, it seems like there was something that was lost in your relationship, a spark, motivation, and some communication. I don’t think this is a hopeless situation, but I do believe that there has to be some cleanup in the relationship. I would have to get the full context of the relationship, so I invite you to a private coaching session with Adrian or Natalie. Please contact us at this link to schedule a call. I also included another product that I believe will help.
      WMEA Team

  118. Hello Benny,
    Yes keep the no contact up and focus on yourself at this moment. Stay around friends that uplift you, workout, be social, and do things that make you happy.
    WMEA Team

  119. Hello Luca,
    Giving her space and fixing went wrong in the relationship is important right now. Focus on healing what brought stress to the relationship. Do not become needy or clingy. You can do this!
    WMEA Team

  120. Hello Marcel,
    I am not 100% I can answer that question but there was some things that went wrong in the relationship that brought you and her to this. I think taking the time to focus on working on how you can improve from this relationship and spending time with yourself will be best. I would encourage to do 6 weeks of no contact.
    WMEA Team

  121. Kim,
    I invite you to look further into this relationship. Its important that if you take a next step that the both of you meet face to face. I would set that boundary and commit to finishing your no contact period.
    WMEA Team

  122. Hello Vmac,
    Ys, keep up with the no contact and also do some self-reflection on this relationship. What is it about this relationship that you want him in your life? Is this a good man for you? He shouldn’t be having relationships if he is with you and I suggest that you set boundaries when it comes to this.
    WMEA Team

  123. I’ve been talking to this guy last year from January to April we’re both 21 and I guess I was being impatient maybe but whilst we were talking he told me he had depression and I was always initiating conversation and we had issues with his parents maybe not accepting me but he said he wanted this and that he would like to continue but I unintentionally initiated the breakup and he made an excuse and said his parents don’t want me to talk to him and I tried talking to him after on or two months but he wasn’t interested then in July 2017 We had special holiday and I spoke to him and he said thanks and then again I also tried talking to him in October still the same, should i still do no contact? when should I contact him again ? Btw he has been posting too many pictures since the seperation of where he’s going but I’ve been doing radio silence for more than 6months perhaps. I’ve been working on myself since the radio silence I’m focusing on my career. Please reply 🙂 ty so much

    1. Hello Nuria,
      Since there has already been radio silence I would recommend for you to try and establish a friendship with him slowly. Be friendly, positive, and show him confidence. Also, don’t talk about the past in regards to the relationship.
      WMEA Team

  124. I couldn’t help commenting…That’s awesome! Your silence is already beginning to affect her, she messaged you on messenger the second time maybe because she was afraid you might have blocked her on your phone and thus not received your first text (At least that’s what I would have been assumed)…I wish I had your level of self control..:)

  125. Hi all. My girlfriend broke up with me 7 days ago, I have realised from reading articles that I definitely come under the ‘needy’ category and she felt suffocated. She told me (out of the blue) that she did not love me anymore, we were together for 5 months. I was definitely further in the relationship than her as I am inexperienced and quick to move forward. I handled the initial breakup badly making it last a few days including begging and how I will be better etc. before finally giving in. She even said in the final conversation that she was amazed how I was being more grown up about it suddenly (because I gave up fighting to stop the break up anymore). 3 days ago (4 days after breakup) I sent her a message along the lines of “I know we aren’t meant to be talking, but when you get a chance send me your address and I will return your stuff when I can, hope you are well” (no open ended questions). Yesterday (6 days since break up) she replied with her address, and also responded asking how I am, and said that she was ‘fine’ and has been busy at work (not that I asked), she seemed to be acting friendly which I didn’t expect. After sending my message (But before receiving hers) I decided to start the no contact, if she is asking how I am, should I reply? is this a test? I don’t want to seem like I don’t care anymore. (Without sounding too creepy she looks to be going on WhatsApp much more frequently since she sent her message to me, is she surprised that im not replying? as I am normally quick to respond) I realise I am doing things such as checking social media and overthinking still, but it is early days and I haven’t given the no contact any time yet. I want her back and I want to give her an improved me. Thanks all

    1. Hello Oz,
      Do not reply until the no contact is finished. Also, I wouldn’t suggest for you to check her whatsapp or social media as this will distract you from you goal. During this time reflect on what happened in the relationship and also focus on healing the things that made this relationship fall apart.
      WMEA Team

  126. Hi again team,

    My apologies if you feel that you have sufficiently answered this question. It related to whether the ex still misses you during no contact (radio silence) if they were the ones to have initiated a full on block (phone line, facebook, email and text)? I was with her for 2 years. She broke it off due to her feeling that I wasn’t being nice to her anymore and for the first 2 weeks post breakup I was calm and cool and didn’t push. It was at the 2 week mark that I got weak for 2 days and sent one too many texts and in turn, she blocked me. Since that point (10 days in counting) I have gone no contact and am trying hard to work on myself during this time. I DO have a game plan and a road map for self-improvement and I DO have a communication strategy in place (6-8 weeks of radio silence is what I’ll be instituting). My question is, does/will she still miss me and feel the impact of my no contact even if she blocked me from contacting her? Thank you.

    1. Hello Dan,
      Your ex and you shared some valuable time together and shared a lot of memories. These things are not easy to forget. She still thinks about you, and I wouldn’t stress too much on finding the answer because its a chase you will never win unless she tells you personally. I guarantee you are in her thoughts.
      WMEA Team

  127. Hello firsthelix,
    I suggest for you to stop texting altogether. You can mention this after radio silence as it will have more meaning behind it as time has passed by and your ex recognizes you taking a different approach.
    WMEA Team

  128. Hello Yusra,
    Depending on the reason for the breakup I cannot answer that. But I would just reflect and see if this is a relationship that you will continue to want in your life. If not, then move on.
    WMEA Team

  129. Hello Steph,
    If there are still feels in this relationship then its possible to get back together. This is all going to depend on if your boyfriend has changed as I don’t think you should ever settle to be 2nd when it came to his friends.
    WMEA Team

  130. Hello Queen,
    You need to continue radio silence for at least 6 weeks. Focus on yourself and move forward from this relationship. Personal growth and development will be the key to your happiness along and if you and your ex get back together in the future.
    WMEA Team

  131. Hi,
    My girl broked up with me last 1 month ago. We had a relationship of 4 beautifull years with lots of fight inclded in it and my problem was that i over cared her,so she got irretated of these things and brokeup with me..And now she is telling she like someone who is very good..But i dont wanted her to be with someone please suggest me because we were in a distance relation just 10-15 meets its very difficult for me coach.
    Plz give me a solution so i can get her back please..
    Its very difficult for me without her..
    please suggest what can I do and what should I do..😔😖😢😢

  132. Hello Papittsburg,
    Sometimes this situations can be difficult because unless your ex works on developing himself then the relationship can go back to the same habits. One thing I would ask for you to do is some self-reflection. Why do you want from him if he’s emotionally unavailable in your life? Besides loving him what does he bring to you thats positive in your life? Are there more things that out weigh the positive.
    WMEA Team

  133. During an argument he went silent treatment on me. Not no contact but actual silent treatment in the middle of an argument. Needless to say this drove me insane, leading to a string of angry texts for several days, many of which were me ending things in anger. His next contact was over a week later to get his belongings from my home and return my house key (he was living with me). Afterwards, less than a week later he rebounded to a girl who I later learned was married (to a woman) and who also has several issues including criminal history, mental health issues requiring hospitalizations, no job, etc. He posted things referencing her on his public Instagram (no photos though), including hearts and such… totally out of character for this man. My gut tells me she’s a rebound, considering the speed with which he jumped into an unhealthy situation after our 18 month relationship. Anyway, after learning about her I messaged him, in anger, exploding again. The next day I decided to tell him I will always have love for him regardless of the situation and I started no contact. It’s been a week of NC. Our initial argument started Christmas Eve, so it was about 3 weeks of angry texts and me learning new information that made me crazier, and him never speaking a word to me about even the initial argument…. I see where my mistakes were made, and I also see his. My head is clear on that and I know what I need to do to handle things better going forward… But is it too late for that now? Did I do too much damage? What comes of his silent treatment vs my no contact? I should add, he continues to post things indirectly about me on his Instagram, angry posts directed at me about not trusting people who say they love you, etc. but also makes sure that any time the new girl responds to anything he includes hearts in his response to her. This isn’t like him and it’s driving me crazy. I don’t know what to do next.

    1. Lyra,
      Ignore it during the no contact. I suggest for you to read step 1, 2, and 3 again. 🙂
      WMEA Team

  134. Hi, my gf broke up with me last week. it wasn’t because our love died out, it was because she has an addiction but doesn’t want to put me through that. i love her and i want her back. will the no contact help her realize if she loves me more than her addiction? she just texted me yesterday saying “i miss you” i’ve been in no contact for about 3 days now….

  135. my ex broke up with me in mid december – i spoke to her twice since then – once 4 days after, we had a good conversation, she was going on a trip with her family and said we should see how we feel when we get back. i called her the day she got back and i begged and pleaded – it didnt work out to say the least. the major problem in the relationship was my lack of independence while she maintained hers, it created insecurities and some controlling issues. both of our first relationships. i havent spoken to her since then – it has been 3 weeks. she reached out earlier this week about an order i placed with her company and asked me to pay for it – still hasnt designated a pick up time yet though. i have an extensive letter written out with your advice – it isnt needy or desperate but i think it gets the point across. i have been told to wait off on it and see if she gives in to a text like “i miss you” or something along those lines. what do you suggest?

    1. Hello Ugh,
      I would let some time pass before you give your ex this letter. Continue with the no contact and then send the letter in a couple more months.
      WMEA Team

  136. I met someone while my relationship with my ex finance was deteriorating.
    We were very intense from the brining. I ended up leaving my fiancé for her a
    moved in with her for a month. Everything was perfect but I started feeling guilty
    about leaving my fiancé. So I went back to my fiancé. My fiancé and I still had
    issues so I left again and back to the new person. After being with the new person
    for days, I again left to go back to my fiancé, I was feeling guilty again I
    had 5 yrs. with my fiancé and I just met this women. But again me and fiancé
    having the same issues yet again. So on New year’s we broke up for good. I
    still kept in touch with the other person and she did say she would wait for me
    to end it. Ever since then I told her me and my fiancé are done, we each moved
    out and have absolutely 0 ties. So now I’m 10000000% single. The new person
    told me she has moved on and is with someone else. So I begged, pleaded , and
    gave her reasons as to why we were meant to be. Yes I still would speak to her
    and saw a couple time but she is cold and distant from me now. Every time I
    asked her where I stood she would say I don’t want to talk about or avoid it.
    She would also tell me she is confused and doesn’t want to be with anyone. Yesterday
    I found pictures of her and her new man having a great time together and posting
    this is her new man. So why wasn’t she just straight and tell me to move on if
    she clearly did? And it killed me because I miss her and want
    her back, but she seemed to have moved on !! At this point what should I do?
    P.S Relationship was about 4 months.

    1. At this point I think you should move on. Specially if you were only with that person for 4 months. I think at this point you are just afraid to be alone and single. In a while you will see that this new person was not really your type…….I’m so sorry.

  137. Hello,
    With my ex for 2 years. I wasn’t nice to her towards the last few months (she became weak and I became too harsh with her and hard on her over little things). I made her cry (I took no pleasure in that) and feel small and even fearful of my emotional reactions to disappointing me. She hit her breaking point in mid-December with the support of her family/friends (they were always an obstacle). First 2 weeks post breakup I handled it well. We exchanged our belongings and made her feel comfortable with me. She was polite and trying to be strong but I could tell she was extremely hurt. 2 weeks in I slipped and got weak and sent too many texts in a 48 hour period. This prompted her to block me on facebook, along with my phone/text. It was devastating, but I regained my composure and left her alone and went into radio silence/no contact for the last 5 weeks. I’ve been working hard on finding myself again and still have hope in my heart for a new start with her. Yesterday (after 5 weeks of NC) I sent her a money e-transfer (she had helped me out financially while I was in grad school) and she did not accept it??? I am perplexed. She had asked me (before blocking me) if I could start paying her back and so, after not having contacted her at all (respecting her space) I chose to do the least threatening thing possible by sending her the e-transfer of a first installment, but she didn’t accept it? I don’t understand? I didn’t reach out to talk with her, but merely chose a method of showcasing to her that I am living up to my word about the money I owe her and still respecting her space. Why then would she not accept the e-transfer (it does not involve her having to communicate with me, other than maybe thanking me). What could be the problem here and what other strategy (non-threatening) could I employ at this point? Thank you.


  138. Hello Ki,
    I think him being upset can show him that you don’t trust him. Unless he has given you reasons not to trust him before then this is something that can hurt the relationship. Ultimately, if you believe that this relationship is trustworthy I would just delete this application so it doesn’t bring any harm to your relationship.
    WMEA Team

  139. Hi Natalie/Adrian/Alex

    Hope you are doing well.

    I am a regular viewer of all your vlogs and many of which have personally guided me in certain situations. But currently I seek a much bigger help than that.

    So here I am writing my heart out and seeking your advice.

    Let me introduce myself, I am Priyank and I am from India. I am 29 and i am a HR professional.

    About my relationships history, I have previously dated a guy for 2 yrs and then for the next couple of years I was single.

    So last January, I met this guy on a matrimonial site. He has a business in real estate. We started out as friends. We use to talk daily and were constantly connected on messaging.

    For about nine months it was only friendship as both of us were reluctant to move ahead in spite of having a strong connection. The issue was Past. His. Mine. Both of our pasts. He had been in a 7 yrs relationship which didn’t worked out. I was broken hearted too in past. We both were afraid of a heartbreak. So we continued as good buddies for almost 8 to 9 months.

    But eventually things started to develop. Slowly and steadily. We grew closer, confessed our love and began dating. All was smooth. I was pretty happy. He was pretty enthusiastic. He introduced me to his cousins and friends. Both of us were in a good space. We also discussed marraige. Yet sometimes we had casual fights or disagreements like most couples. Which he wasn’t liking. His perception is to have no fights at all. But some how we are two different people and bound to have minor arguments. He never understood this and had different opinions. Things were fine for 4 months.

    Unfortunately, new year turned my life upside down. At new years, 1 Jan 2018, I was out of town with family and he along with his friends planned to catch up with me at a common spot. This didnt actually went according to his plans and i couldn’t meet him anytime throughout the trip.

    This made him so upset that he didn’t talked to me for a week. When I finally spoke to him he said he doesn’t wish to continue with the relation as we always tend to have fights.

    Rather than giving him the space he needed to figure things out, I spooked out. I wasn’t ready for this situation as in my head we were already discussing marraige n stuff.

    I tried every possible thing for him to change his mind. I cried, begged, stalked him. Deliberately met him when he didn’t even wanted to see me. In spite of being your regular viewer Inspite of knowing i am making things worse i just couldn’t handle things better and its all a mess now. His version is we can be friends but let’s drop this relation here. That’s all.

    I am very much in love with this guy and he’s my best friend too. What we had was special and I just do not wish to let that go away. We planned a future and now it’s all null.

    We haven’t spoken since 2 weeks. Every two days he sends me a goodmorning text. I have replied him on a couple of occasion but the conversation ends on goodmorning text itself. I am not sure if I should go ahead with the no contact period or not. I am clueless if at all I should reply him as he intends to be friends and I do not wish that. I want to give our relation a second chance.

    If there’s anything that I can do to fix this….Please help!

    Waiting for your answer.

    Best wishes,

    1. Hello Priyanka,
      Thank you for you comment. We are very busy with private coaching sessions and try to reply to a lot of the comments. Typically with a lengthy comment it is hard to reply as this takes time and we will have to suggest you to reach out to us through a private coaching session here. Wishing you the best!
      WMEA Team

  140. My 2 year relationship ended last week. It was long distance but with lots of visits and holidays together. We were happy but he was uncertain about the future because I lived in another continent. We had discussed me moving there which he had thought about quite a lot but was worried about immigration processes, language and also moving me from my country and if things didn’t work out what would happen. I was doing an integration course that would assist me to go to his country (his idea) but I needed his support since learning a new language is hard. He never made time and when I confronted him he said he can’t handle the uncertainty and broke up. We haven’t spoken since and I’m trying to cope but not sure what I should do now. I don’t feel the need to reach out or speak to him but I feel heartbroken and it’s painful. Where do I go from here? I don’t really feel that I did anything wrong by asking for his support through the process so not sure what changes I can or should even make. I’m confused and hurting right now. What do I do ?

    1. Hello Sati,
      You deserve someone to be by your side with a big decision like this. I believe right now that you should go into no contact. You have to show him that this will not be tolerable so you can bring stability in the relationship and no contact will do that. Also, be strong during this time. I know it can be incredibly difficult but we are here for you.
      WMEA Team

  141. My Ex dumped me 2 days before valentines while she was at a month long yoga retreat via txt. She shut me out and said don’t contact me again. She’s always been one foot in and out out whole 10 months questioning if we should be together. I have no clue what to do. So lost and she’s so far and has 10 other girls with her. I feel if I reach out I’ll be severely judged by all of them. What do I do?

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