As you know, communication or reestablishing communication with your ex when you’re hoping to get back together is crucial. It also must be done carefully so that we can get you closer to your goal instead of further away, which is why I wanted to write this article for you today.One of the most common topics that people ask us about is communication during a relationship break or after a breakup, so I wanted to go over the biggest do’s and don’ts.
Should there be communication during a relationship break?
I wanted to start this article off by exploring the concept of breaks. Sometimes things get so complicated and difficult that two people decide that they need a break in order to figure things out. It’s daunting, but breaks usually mean that this separation is temporary and should be used as a tool to make a stronger comeback.
Sometimes we can get oversaturated with the challenges our relationship is facing and we know that we need some time and distance in order to clear our minds and come up with proper solutions. When you’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to react in a way that you end up regretting and it’s hard to see the whole picture.
Breaks are often the best way to get some clarity and regroup, but how do you handle communication during a break?
Going on a break: Relationship advice when you were clingy
Well, if you’re taking a break in a relationship but still talking literally all the time, it’s not much of a break is it? The point of a break is to take a step back and evaluate what needs to happen.
That said, there are some things to keep in mind. If your relationship has become rocky because you’ve exhibited needy and clingy behavior, because you had lost track of your own personal life and were depending on your partner for your happiness, or because your partner had started to feel suffocated for any reason, communication during a relationship break should be kept to a minimum.
Now would be the time to focus on rebuilding your personal life, making yourself happy and boosting your self confidence. When a relationship becomes the focal point of your life, not only does the relationship suffer, your own happiness does as well. The result is that your partner becomes unhappy because things have changed, there is no more exciting challenge for them to pursue, and things start to feel predictable.
So what’s the solution? Start SURPRISING them!
Right now he or she probably expects you to be in contact all the time, so switch your focus to yourself, to making personal improvements, and to proving to yourself and to your ex that you do not need him or her in order to be happy. For more information on how to use a break wisely and make a better comeback, click here!
How to deal with taking a break in a relationship if you were distant
Now, if the breakup took place because your partner felt neglected, taking a step back and decreasing communication even further is not an ideal approach.
If your partner already felt like he or she was not given enough attention in the relationship, continuing to act in the same way is only going to cement this feeling in their mind. They’re going to feel like it’s being proven to them that you are unable to give them enough time and energy in order for this relationship to be truly fulfilling for them.
Because each and every relationship is entirely unique, I encourage you to reach out to us either by leaving your question in the comments section below, or by getting in touch with me or a member of my team directly by clicking here. Together we can analyze your situation and determine the absolute best approach so that you can get back together and be happier than ever before, as soon as possible.
What to do during a breakup in a relationship: Reaching out vs not reaching out
So I also wanted to dedicate a section of this article to how exactly to handle communication when you’ve actually broken up with the person you love. Should you try to remain in contact? Should you give them space?
Well, the concepts I went over above apply to this type of situation as well. One of the most powerful tools that we propose to our clients who are entering into a period of trying to get an ex back is the No Contact Rule.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, it basically consists of cutting communication with your ex for a predetermined amount of time ranging from three weeks to three months. During this period, the goal is to focus entirely on yourself and work on become the new and improved you, without being in touch with your ex.
Through this process you will prove to yourself that you are capable of making yourself happy, your ex will see that you have a new and improved self confidence, and your life will start to become very attractive to them. You want them to look at you and think, “Wow, I really want to be a part of that!”
For more detailed information on how to use the no contact rule, I invite you to click here.
Reestablishing communication with an ex when you want them back
As I mentioned above, reestablishing a communication platform with the person you love is an essential part of getting them back. Without this, it will not be possible to restore your relationship.
So if you two had separated and you want your ex back, and you’ve set a plan in motion to get back together (especially if you’ve been using the NR rule), then you know that at one point you’re going to have to get back in touch.
If your breakup had something to do with the fact that you were acting needy and desperate towards your ex, we need to factor that into the equation here. There is a good chance that your ex could feel threatened by you reaching out because they’re afraid of opening the floodgates to more neediness and desperation.
This is why it’s so important to take your time and make concrete changes, and subsequently prove to your ex via your actions that you are no longer clingy and emotionally dependent on them.
This means that it’s crucial that you wait until you’ve done the necessary work before your recontact your ex after a relationship breakup.
Using the Reset Method before reestablishing communication after a breakup
As you’ve understood, it’s imperative that you reset yourself before you approach your ex to open up communication again. We actually do have a tool called the Reset Method that is available to you on the site, and when you approach your ex, you need to come from a position of high self-confidence, high self value, and positivity.
As my colleague Coach Steven says, you don’t want to come across as a dog scratching at the door to get in. You want to make sure your ex sees that you are not begging and pleading, but rather showing what you now bring to the table. You have all kinds of things that you can contribute to the conversation, no are in no way a threat, and you are in fact now living a life that anyone would want to be a part of!
So how do you do so?
Communication during a relationship break up with your ex: How to get back in touch
There are a variety of different tools for reestablishing communication with an ex after a breakup like the handwritten letter, a phone call, text messages, face to face interaction…
But the most important thing of all is your attitude. This is even more important than what you say because what you say will depend on what you’ve been doing and your relationship.
I want to you to keep this in mind: you are not trying to convince this person to take you back the first time you get in touch. You are just trying to rebuild a platform for communication so that you’re able to talk without your ex jumping to conclusions and thinking that you’re trying to twist their arm or change their mind about their decision.
You need to make your ex feel at ease while talking to you.
So once again, don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you would like some guidance during this period. We are here to help.
I am wishing you the best in love and life.
Your coach when you’re wondering about communication during a relationship break