Losing a relationship that was precious to you feels like having the rug ripped out from beneath you. All your hopes and dreams for your future with this person have been thrown out the window, and you’re left feeling heartbroken, lost, pessimistic, and having to deal with a cocktail of emotions that make it hard to feel in control of the situation. The easiest thing to do would be to just curl up in a ball on the couch and isolate yourself while you lose yourself in Netflix and pints of ice-cream… But is that going to help you bounce back? Is that going to help you feel better in the long run? And what if you’re someone who wants their ex back, is that going to help you reach your goal?
Of course not. Finding motivation after a breakup is extremely important in order to for you to heal from this ordeal. The longer you stay isolating yourself, feeling sorry for yourself, and allowing the feelings of sadness control your life, the longer it’s going to take for you to get through this. And no one wants to preserve this awful period, trust me!
So how do you find motivation? How do you shake off all of these negative feelings that you’re experiencing right now? I wanted to write an article for you today so that you can start to feel better and get back in control of your life. There are certain things that you can begin doing today and you’ll realize that you’ll be feeling better in no time! So without further ado, let’s dive right in!
How to find motivation after a breakup when your heart is broken
Unfortunately, when a relationship ends, a person’s ego can take a huge hit and they can experience a slew of negative emotions that makes them want to just hole up and hide away form the world. It’s a normal reaction – the world you were creating has just crumbled down around you, but that doesn’t mean that you should give up on being happy and let yourself fall into a depressive spiral.
Yes, you’re feeling all kinds of emotions and everything seems to be extra challenging right now, but you are in control of your actions, which means that you have the power to change this thing. You don’t like your current reality? Change it!
You might be sitting there reading this thinking, “Ok dude, easier said than done,” but listen. If you’re able to take matters into your own hands and get busy, you’ll feel a shift very quickly.
Some people like to revel in self pity, but that’s not the case for you. You’ve gone out of your way to find an article that explains how to find motivation after a breakup, and this means that you’re ready to take action. You’re already being proactive by reading this, and this is the first step towards becoming happy again!
So hats off to you and welcome to the first day of the rest of your life! (Cliché, I know, but bear with me.) Starting now, we are going to look at how to find motivation while you’re getting through a breakup, whether you want your ex back or not!
Regardless of your end goal, whether it’s to be happy on your own, happy with your ex, or happy with someone new, your actions starting now are what are going to set you up for success…
Getting through a breakup motivation: The power of being busy
When you’re feeling unmotivated and heartbroken, pretty much the last thing you want to do is get up off the couch and get busy. That said, it’s the absolute best thing you can do.
Think about it – what’s going to happen if you spend your day sulking on the couch? You’re going to fixate on the breakup, you’re going to fixate on your ex, you’re going to fixate on why things ended, you’re going to fixate on your shortcomings and what you should have done differently, etc etc etc.
Basically, your thoughts are going to spiral and you’re going to go down into the rabbit hole of negative emotions. On the other hand, if you’re able to get out there and start doing things, you’re going to train your mind to start feeling better.
Remember, it might not feel like it right now, but you can actually get these negative thoughts and memories out of your head. All you have to do is get busy.
Ok, but busy with what?
Right now, I want you to start to think about who you were at the beginning of this relationship. In the majority of cases, my clients recognize a change between who they were when they first started dating their ex vs who they are today. Sometimes the change is big, and other times it’s small, but chances are that you were feeling considerably better in the beginning than you are right now.
So think about what elements changed. What were you doing then that you are no longer doing now? What fun and positive people were you hanging out with then that you aren’t hanging out with now? What activities filled up your time before you got comfortable in this relationship?
Now is the ideal time to start bringing all of that back into your life. Simply put, you want to fill up your schedule with things that bring you joy.
Think about what kind of new things you can introduce into your life. What new activities would you want to try out? Think about taking cooking classes, starting yoga, or even something like Crossfit. When your heart is in shambles, you have to start doing things for yourself. You’ve actually got to become a bit selfish, but in a good way. When it comes to finding motivation after breaking up, you’ll find that the more you do things, the more things you will want to do.
Start with little things. Change your environment. Reorganize your furniture so it feels fresh. Put away or throw away anything that reminds you of your ex. Get yourself some new clothes and if you want to, change up your look with a new haircut or a new style.
Then start getting active at the gym. Working out will release endorphins and serotonin, which make you feel happier, and on top of that you’re going to get more energy which in turn will make you want to do more things.
The more you do this, the more confident you will start becoming. The hardest thing is just getting out of your house, but once you’re out and you’re getting fresh air, you’ll begin enjoying these new activities.
Make sure you include your friends and check out new bars and restaurants in your area. It would be a great time to go on weekend trips with your best friends or even your siblings… Just think about how you can fill up your schedule with things that make you genuinely happy. Give yourself challenges and you’ll see that things will start to feel much better.
Post breakup motivation when you want someone back
Now if you’re looking for motivation after a break up because you want this person back, there are is a tool that can help with this. If your heart is broken and all you want to do is talk to your ex, it’s going to be hard to think about anything else.
The more space they take up in your thoughts, that harder its going to be to move forward. It’s important to understand that whether you want your ex back or not, you’ve got to move forward and bounce back from this breakup.
In fact, you can use this breakup as fuel for positive change that is going to catch your ex’s eye!
As of now you aren’t feeling too great, so it’s time to analyze the situation. Like I was saying above – what is the difference between the person your ex fell in love with at the beginning of your relationship and the person you had become by the end of the relationship?
What elements can you bring back into your life and how can you improve your daily life?
One of the most powerful tools used for getting an ex back and helping people bounce back from breakups is the no contact rule, and it could highly benefit you right now. For more information on this powerful tool, I highly encourage you to click the link.
As always, we are here to help, so please don’t hesitate to get in touch here or to leave your question in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you are looking for motivation after you broke up