Getting back with an ex after years apart

Listen to the Article :


Free course :  3 detailed videos over the course of the next three days designed to put the pieces back together and set you out on a new path


Free course :  3 detailed videos over the course of the next three days designed to put the pieces back together and set you out on a new path

Listen to the Article

Table of Contents

Getting back with an ex after years apart Have you broken up several years ago but still wondering if it is possible to get back with that ex? Many times relationships don’t end up working out but circumstances can change. Other times you just mature or are faced with certain life lessons that push you to understand mistakes that you may have committed in the past. You are left wanting a second chance because you firmly believe that your ex may be the one or simply because you strongly believe that you can both be really happy together.

Rest assured getting back with an ex after years apart is most probably still within your reach! With the right game plan why wouldn’t it be possible for you to claim the heart of someone who once deeply cared or perhaps even loved you? If you were able to seduce him or her before you will most likely be able to seduce them again; and in this article we will tell you how!

Getting back with an ex after years apart starts with your attitude and outlook

In most cases it is possible to get back with an ex when you have a positive attitude and outlook. Even if you dated someone in high school or years ago it is still possible for you to start a new love story with that person if you set your mind to it. To want to be together and to believe that you can seduce your ex is more than half the battle won. If you are negative or lack the self-confidence to approach your ex, you will unconsciously create barriers or obstacles. You will make it a lot more difficult than it has to be and simply get in your own way! So in order to get back together after a long period of time you must ensure that you are in the right mindset but also that you feel good about yourself. A simple smile, positive body language or even optimism and excitement will attract your ex once you have been able to re-establish contact.

[showmodule id=”9359209″]

You can also inspire your ex or capture his or her imagination if you live with purpose or display a positive growth since the last time you were with one another. To live with purpose is to be passionate about a cause or an endeavor; this passion fuels you and becomes a central driving force in your life and the one thing that no one can take away from you. It is the opposite of coasting through life, of being passive or lacking motivation. When you are passionate or once you have found your element, you will be in a state of grace and you will inspire and draw people to you organically.

If you are able to convey your growth and show positive evolution since the last time that you spoke or were officially together your ex will be drawn to you. He or she will want to learn more about what you’ve become and instantly start to envision a future in which you are together.

But first you must establish a platform of communication especially years after having broken up

Before you can display your growth and showcase all that you’ve become it is necessary to establish a platform of communication. Quite simply it is impossible for you to get back with someone that you love if the two of you are not in touch. It may sound simple but I’ve encountered countless situation where people would play out different scenarios in their heads and create a mental block or come to the conclusion that they cannot get back with their ex even before having touched base with them again! Getting back with an ex after years apart is possible but you must first be able to talk to that person; not a just sporadic conversation here of there. You need to really be back in touch and create what I like to call an open platform of communication where you feel comfortable to reach out to someone without second guessing yourself.

In order to get to this stage you will need a bit of courage and show a genuine interest for your ex; in other words you need to provide him or her with attention to make them feel valued and be an active listener. Whether you reestablish contact via a Facebook message, in person or through an email the important thing is to show that you are genuinely interested in how they are doing and in what they’ve become. Ask him or her questions and pay attention to their answers and concerns in order to rebound on something that they may say or give more importance too and create an organic free flowing conversation. Especially in the beginning or during the first few times that you communicate. He or she will feel your genuine interest; although you may not have talked in years it will seem as if you’ve been in contact all along. He or she will quickly start to confide in you and you will have your opportunity to re-seduce your ex!

[showmodule id=”9359209″]

Seduce your ex and seal the deal during a face to face meeting after more than 2 years apart

You can seduce your ex in many ways and I have already disclosed 2 unique and natural ways to attract him or her without even having to court them or directly flirt. First you can attract them through your positive attitude and passion. By not coasting through life and having a passion or calling that makes you excited to wake up every morning. Second you can seduce your ex by being an active listener and genuinely showing interest about their life and their concerns. We are social creatures and most people want nothing else than to have someone to talk too; someone who understands their concerns and that does not judge them!

You can also seduce your ex in a more traditional sense; by creating intimacy or by flirting and complimenting them. It should be very easy for you to convey attraction or to sexualize a conversation due to the fact that you have been together before. Ultimately, especially if you have been broken up for more than 2 years you will need a face to face meeting to seal the deal. If you have been talking via social media, email or phone for some time and you feel that you have re-established a connection, a face to face meeting is the only way to take the next step. Physical contact, grabbing his or her hand and even a kiss or an evening together can bring you even closer together and create that permanent need to be with one another. So don’t be afraid to ask your ex out on a date or to do a fun activity that you will both enjoy because it is the best way for you to finally meet your goal of getting back together after several years apart!

If you have been able to re-seduce your ex after years of being apart and ultimately got back together for good don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below. Your approach and tips could be of great benefit to someone looking to get back with a lost love!

Your coach when getting back with an ex after years apart is all that you can think of,


89 Responses

  1. Gentlemen,

    Allow me to introduce myself. I am michal. A polish American that is trying to get back an ex gf after 2 years. A little background, I met my ex girlfriend in Poland, after being deployed you Afghanistan. I was stationed in Germany before and after my tour, and travelling to Poland was frequent to see family. I tired so hard to stay in Germany but was given orders to return to the states. Sadly I didn’t believe in long distance relationships so I ended it and to this day we are mutual friends. Every so often we tell each other that we miss each other and keep thinking of our time together. I miss her so much… and she is dating someone for a few months now. But even when she was in the relationship she would mention how she feels for me. I do too.
    I am officially out the army after 9 years. I’m going back to school and finishing. Got army year and some change to go. We have communicated by phone armylready a few times, we’ll every morning for the last 4 days either she will call or I will call. Or we’ll text. She is the one, I want her back. I love this woman. The soonest I Can see her is in may after my finals and plus I have an intership in poland for 3 months which works. Today I sent an actually letter of my true feelings and intentions. And yes, she knows how I feel, because a few months ago she said the same thing on she feels about me.
    I just need guidance. I’m worried this new guy is going propose a day it’ll be all over. I want her to be happy, but with me you know. I sound crazy, but isn’t that what love does to you? And so far she has expressed negative feelings about the guy she is with. I feel like it’s going in my favor, but I just want to know, what else I can do to win her back.


    1. Hey Michael,

      Sorry it took so long to get back to you; I was traveling in France for a conference and to do a couple of one on one coaching sessions face to face. I am now back into my regular routine and able to address your questions. First of all, yes I do understand how you feel because I deal with people that are madly in love all day every day. You are not a bad person for trying to be the one that makes her happy! You actually have quite a few things going for you: the fact that you were once together and that you were the one that ended the relationship at that time is a plus; the fact that you are still on good terms and that she openly tells you how much you still mean to her is also very very positive! I’dd be interested to know how she reacted to your letter because it would enable me to give you even better insights into exactly what you should do next! But I can already tell you that your biggest obstacle won’t be someone else or the possibility that she gets married; your biggest hurdle today is simply distance. If you have the possibility to fly her to you before May in order to re-kindle I think that you should make that happen! It would be my pleasure to help you game plan as to how you should bring this about, we could chat during the course of a one on one coaching session over the phone! In your case I truly believe that getting back with an ex after years apart is more than possible!

      I wish you all the very best in your quest to be with the one you love.


  2. Hello Adrian, I broke up with my girlfriend in November of 2014. I told her the reason was because I was with someone new. However, I was never in a relationship with anyone before and after the break up despite I was indeed seeing someone new. A week before the break up, we were in a cold war, the kind of period where she just stopped talking to me, reason being I said something inappropriate. A week later, she came back to me and I asked to break up. My ex and I had little to no arguments or fights when we were together despite it’s our second time splitting up. First time was due to the same reason, except it was my ex who was seeing someone. It’s been almost 17 months since the break up and earlier February of this year, she got into a new relationship. Before that, I was told she was devastated to see me leave but I have no idea how long she felt that way. Now, I am not sure if my ex is in a rebound relationship. When she started dating, she seemed kind of protective of her relationship from me, but now she is getting more and more comfortable with sharing it on Snapchat and Twitter. One thing that puzzled me was that before and after she got into her new relationship, she still contacted me occasionally, talking about our common interests. When I found out she is in a new relationship, I insisted on asking if she wants to talk about it. She said alright and I asked it to be in a month’s time, allowing me to go through the no contact period. We will be meeting up end of April or beginning of May. We were also in a relationship for almost a year before I asked to break up. At this point, I probably have done things I shouldn’t have done, what do you think I should do next and do you think it is still possible for me to get her back? Thank you!

    1. Hey Jackie,
      The no contact period is not really necessary based on what you have described here. The most important move for you at this point is to get back in touch with your ex and to maintain regular contact using your common hobbies as an excuse and or platform. Don’t talk about your previous relationship with her, don’t ask her insights into her new relationship and don’t reveal that you are interested in getting back together. Just focus on rekindling and spending fun quality time together. Then reach out to me at that stage and I will help you seal the deal.
      All the best,

  3. Hi I broke up with my ex girlfriend 3 years ago. And it was my fault. I didn’t cheat or anything, I just made the decision to break up because I felt that her family was more important to her eyes than me. And though she tried to convince me to stay, I didn’t. I was stubborn. And an idiot. We broke up and after that She hates my guts and would tell me things like “I would rewind time and undo things with you” and “I don’t want you near my house”.. Etc.. She said very awful things. But during the realtionship, she loved me. I was a jerk. But after the first year I started missing her alot, tried talking and was eventually blocked on social media and phone number. We had only dated for 6 months, but during those 6 months we did a lot. I believe it’s what you do within the time of dating that determines your love, not the time it took. I’ve learned a lot from her and miss her dearly. Tried to talk to other girls and tried many things to get over her. But she comes back to my mind a lot.

    Present day: she is my best friends sister, I was at their house one day and parked on the drive way. She was gonna leave to get some thing to drink and as she backed up from the drive way, she scratched my car. I was very upset because I felt she may have did it on purpose and also I had just bought my car. But to my surprise she didn’t come out of the car and yell at me. She apologized and talked to me as if I was a friend. Its weird because at the time she hated the hell out of me. And if that were to have happened in the past, she probably would’ve said something like “why tf you on my drive way then?!” but she apologized and said she would pay for the damage….. I love her, I still care for her… I instead asked for her number and as she gave it to me, we both joked with each other about her driving and she tells me to have a good night and smiles as she walked in the house. She was beautiful. I text her the next day about my car. Told her that I rather her just treat me out to some dinner. She was definitely confused but she accepted. We are eating this weekend.. If anyone read this far, please tell me if this is fate? If it’s a second chance given to me? If I can make her love me again? I’m over thinking a bit about this whole “treat” thing but if I was to see her just one more time after 3 yrs and have a decent conversation with her.. Then at least I can say we ended on good terms rather than the bad 3 yrs ago. If I can make her love me once more then I’ll be happy. But does she still care for me? Idk.. Please tell me your thoughts 🙂

  4. Hi, me and my ex broke up about 2 years ago, it was on good terms but we still really loved each other. We decided to be friends but after all this time, I honestly just want a second chance with her. A year after we broke up, I just randomly told her I still have feelings for and she shot me down. After that I completely stopped talking to her for about 3 months until she contacted me randomly. We started talking again as if the rejection never happened it was weird. Some days she wants to be with me and other days it’s like she doesn’t want anything to do with me. It was frustrating but I fought through. A few months later we ended up going to a dance together and it was great. Fast forward till today which makes it 2 years. I never see her at school so we only talk over facebook msg. We talk a few times a week but I feel like its going nowhere. I want hang out with her but I feel like if I ask she turn me down.

    1. Hey Jay,
      If you are over 18 years old I suggest that you book a coaching session in order for me to help you win her back!

  5. Right Me and my ex were together for six years lived with each other twice and engaged during this time towards the end of the first breakup I lost my Nan and as she raised me i didn’t handle it well at all she started a new relationship, I carried on sleeping with her and many others and she fell pregnant it wasn’t ideal but I did love her and we decided to give it another go we moved in together and 9 months later my beautiful daughter was born after that her Dad passed away i treated her awfully during this period I knew what I was doing but couldn’t stop I was severely depressed and eventually ended the relationship again, I Continued to be a good father and she pined after me for about a year after I shunned her I was in a dark place and a very different person I knew what I was doing but genuinely felt that I was no good for her unless I changed myself I never said this to her and instead just continued to push her away, with time we had a good relationship for our daughter, Anyways four years flew by and it was revealed to me that she had been seeing someone for the last three years I never knew about this and the only reason it came to light was when she arrived at my house at half four in the morning in tears she confided in me told me everything and the long and short of it is this guy has been sleeping with her and his ex partner the entire time but has now made a decision that he wants to be with her proposing one day and 24 hours later sleeping with his ex, this has gone on for the last 8 months and I’ve tried to be there she asked me honestly if I still had feelings for her and I realised I did truly still love her I told her this and it caused resentment her telling me she doesn’t love me she loves him I’ve done everything I can the last 8 months and she says she deeply cares for me but doesn’t love or feel attracted to me anymore but she knows I’d be good for her and our daughter and can see how much I’ve changed and knows that he is no good for her at all yet she stays in contact with him because I’ve changed maybe he can change too though his actions seem to prove otherwise anyways do I stick or twist I really do love her with all I have but don’t know what to do it kills me every time he breaks her heart and not being able to hold her or be with her again I think the fact she has told me her feelings are with someone else despite me changing tells me that it’s time to move on

    1. Dave I want to help you but cannot provide you with adequate insights here.
      Your situation is just too complex, so book a coaching session if you truly want my insights and guidance.

  6. Me and my ex broke up 2 years ago after a 3 and half year relationship. We broke up on good terms and I feel the main reason for the breakup was that we had drifted apart and were at different stages of our lives with me being 5 years older. I would say the break up was 60/40 her decision, I totally accepted things weren’t great but thought we could have worked at it. I’ve dated other women since we broke up and have moved on in many ways but she always creeps into my mind from time to time, sometimes daily. This weekend I was at a wedding, got back to find a programme we had watched together on tv then woke up with an Instagram message suggesting I should follow her as she is in my contacts, all this has got me thinking about her a lot. I know she’s dating at the minute which I’m not devistated about because it’s been 2 years and expected. Do you think it’s worth contacting her? I’ve grown a lot in the 2 years we’ve been apart really just focusing on improving myself in every way which is why I think it could be different.

    1. Dave,
      Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of strength to be in your situation with such a level head. If you’re looking into getting back with your ex after years apart, the way in which you reach out will be critical. It would be non-threatening, and serve to establish a platform of future contact. I’d think you’d benefit from reading our “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex”, but if you’ve like a more tailored approach given the uniqueness of your situation, please feel free to reach and we’ll book a session.

  7. Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for 5 years now, we dated for 3 years. He made the mistake of settling down too soon after our breakup to prove he could find someone else. He now is married with a child and has told his sister (my best friend) he is miserable. I am too in a long term relationship but I still love my ex, I never got over him. We have not seen or spoken to each other in 5 years. I know once we see each other the flame will reignite but I cant wait for that I need to get in contact with him,(he has no social media) I need him to know I still love him and I need to know if he feels the same what should I do?

    1. Hi Jackie,
      I appreciate you sharing your story with me. Getting back with an ex after years apart can be tricky, especially if he has a child. However, the most crucial next step is going to be HOW to reach out. The initial contact must not involve any verbiage regarding the past or the breakup, and must be non-threatening. If you need help with this process, we can tailor the next few contacts together.

  8. Me and my ex also my child’s father have been separated for over 2 it wasn’t on good terms. He cheated and became verbally abusive, cause me my job and my family and friends dislikes him. Every relationship he goes in he’s not happy or thinks about me. I also went in a relationship fast after me and my ex break up and now I’m also not too happy in my current relationship. I still have love for my ex also. He said he change always crying for me yo take him back but would it be a good idea to get back with him?

  9. Hi Ash,
    Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I know it’s really hard not to know what to do when it comes to your relationship. Getting back together with an ex after years apart is possible, but I think that you’ll really have to think about what it is your want from your relationship. Have he evolved as a person since you ended? Have you? Take this time to reflect and I think you’ll come up with the right answer.
    I hope this helps.

  10. My ex and I broke up 5 years ago on somewhat messy terms. I immediately found somebody else and made the mistake of settling down with them because I thought they were the one for me. Fast forward 3 years and i find myself not as happy as i use to be, I then find out she has been having an affair for almost a year and we get a divorce.
    Not long after my divorce my ex messaged me out of the blue and we have been talking for the past 3 months. Its almost as if nothing ever happened and we picked back up right where we left off. Is this normal?? I find myself happy to be talking to her again and hanging out (plus we share a similar interest in hobbies and passions). I know she really feels a strong attraction towards me and i do to her as well. It just makes me extremely hesitant to get into a future relationship with her again because of what has happened in my failed marriage. I am also worried how my family would respond to such a thing. any advice?


    1. Hi Ty,
      Thank you for sharing your story. Your concerns are valid, especially when it comes to trying to get back with an ex after years apart. However, when it comes to determining next steps with your ex, try focussing more on what happened in your relationship with her and not with what happened in your failed marriage. The two relationships need to be kept separate. If you can determine what went wrong between you and your ex five years ago, and find solutions to avoid it happening again, you should be in good shape for the next shot. If you need help in this, feel free to reach out to us and book a session. We work with a variety of couples dealing with issues similar to yours.
      I hope this helps.
      Coach Natalie

  11. My ex and I broke up 5 years ago (we’re together for 2 years and good friends for 2 years prior to dating). We broke up because we both needed to grow as people. I jumped into a new relationship immediately and married this guy a few months ago. The person I married is very controlling and has a lot of insecurities. My ex had tried reaching out to me a couple times since our breakup (as recent as 2 years) but I had avoided reciprocating until 2 months ago. We started texting and catching up and that spark reignited for me (I suspected it would if I saw him again). I learned that he has a girlfriend he’s been with for a year but we kept talking. We met up a month ago and I felt such a connection for hooked up that weekend (2 different days). I have never cheated in my life but it just felt right. I’ve since separated from my husband and just filed for divorce. My ex and I still talked afterwards but have not spoken in 2 weeks. He’s still with his girlfriend but I really want to get back together with him. How do I go about trying to restart a relationship with the situation what it currently is? Did I completely ruin any chance of reconciliation when I slept with him? I feel so panicked at the thought of potentially losing my chance to be with him, HELP

    1. Hi LG,
      I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. With this scenario particularly, I encourage you to consider coaching with Adrian or myself. Your relationship is complex and it’ll need undivided attention for us to assess what makes sense.
      Coach N.

  12. My ex and I broke up 6 years ago and he showed up at my door apologized for not keeping in contact. The reason being he wasn’t allowed to talk to me because of his ex fiance he cheated on him . The reason why we didn’t work out is because of distance as I lived in Victoria and him in Queensland. Do you think there is a chance we may work things out?. I’m just staying friends for now but he’s moving to where I live soon.Please give me advise I’m so confused.

    1. Hi Confused,
      Thank you for your share. I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation and I know it can be real tough trying to get back with an ex after years apart. WIthout knowing more, I’m going to be hard for me to assess. I really encourage you to book a session and we can sort it all out.
      Coach N.

  13. Hey, so it’s the holidays and I have been apart with my ex for about 7 months now. We broke up because of space, it went from a break to I hate you to I hate you more. Then 3 months ago we started talking again and hooking up, things seemed ok then things went downhill once school started back up. She told me she hated me and that she didn’t want anything to do with me, continued to keep tabs on me though. I have begged and pleaded and at this point I don’t know if I have done too much damage. We broke up because of distance and she kind of freaked out when we had a little less contact. She told her mother that she can’t forget me because she loves me so much (she said this right before we broke up). We haven’t spoken in 3 weeks and its been really hard. She always said this wont happen again and I don’t find you attractive anymore. Now she has gotten around to saying I haven’t moved on I just have bottled it all up. She isn’t the same anymore, her mom talks to me occasionally and says she isn’t happy as she claims to be. She has been on Instagram and Vine and one of my friends told me to look at things she has been liking and reposting (she doesn’t do that very often). These things said things like: “Every time I see you, I fall in love all over again”, “Maybe I don’t cry, but it hurts. Maybe I won’t say, but I feel. Maybe I don’t show, but I care”, “don’t hit me up when you finally realize that no one else cares about you like I do”, “Just know that I love you, I love you with all my fucked up, piece of shit heart” and, “I don’t care about much anymore, but holy crap do I care about you”. She told me 3 weeks ago not to contact her and give her space and that’s what I have been doing. I do love her and life was better with her, I just hate seeing both of us in this weird phase in our life. Please help!

    1. Hi Dmitriy,
      Thank you for your share. I know how difficult it can be when trying to get back with an ex after years apart. You mentioned school. How old are the two of you? I would continue with the distance, as it’ll show her what she’s losing. We as humans have a tendency to really want things once they’re taken away from us. I know it’s hard, but it can make all the difference.
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N.

  14. Ok me and my ex have recently started back seeing each other. We broke up the 1st time 10 years ago due to me feeling he was too good. I was still young and wanting to party. We connected again 5 years ago and this time he wasn’t ready to be tied down. I reached out to him on Facebook the first week of December and we have talked everyday since. the first time we met up we did not have sex just a hug a peck goodbye which had us both texting about missing each other and how good it felt to be with each other. ( I recently got out of a relationship and now have 2 twin girls 7mths old. More recently we met up and we had sex and held each other all night. Pregnancy came up ( we were protected) just converting about what if my twins where his and what if I get pregnant again with his twins. so to get to the point I know it may be too soon to talk to him about moving forward but I’m confused he came over and we had sex during it he asked do I want to have his baby and he came in me. I’m not ready for more kids I just had 2 he said the same thing but why did he do that. I know my body I’m not ovulating so no worries but is this a sign he’s ready to move forward. I really don’t know how to ask him because I don’t want to seem like I’m rushing but he has been my first love the one I think about even when I’m with someone else.

    1. Hi Missmemetx,
      Thank you for your share. I know that getting back with an ex after years apart is possible, but will require a lot of time and effort. Is it possible that a lot of what happened during sex was territorial? Could he be upset that, since you two have extensive history, you ended up having children with another man in another relationship? Rather that worry about the stress on the future, spend time really assessing what you want from a man and whether he can give it to you. If you focus on this, the rest will unravel as it should. If you need help, I encourage you to book a session. I’m here to support.
      Coach N.

  15. Hello, my ex-boyfriend and I have recently been in contact. We dated back in high school when we were 15 years old, and continued the very long relationship for 10 years until we were 25. We had only ever experienced each other during that time and we were truly in love. We broke up because I found out that he was being unfaithful. Looking back on this situation now, he could have handled the honesty better, but we were inexperienced and dealing with high school and undergrad. I don’t have negative feelings towards him presently. Fast forward to today, six years with no contact until mid-December 2016 when I had to reach out to him due to a background investigation for new employment. He responded to the message I sent him and we have been talking on the phone almost every day since. This past weekend we decided to hang out together, and we really enjoyed each other’s company. Everything felt so right and comfortable so we made the decision to sleep together. It may have been too soon, but again it just felt normal. We haven’t discussed the “what happens now?” I honestly don’t know if either of us really knows where this will go, and I don’t know how to address the situation. I don’t know if it was just a casual encounter or if it means he is interested in beginning a relationship again. I want to ask him what this all means, but I also don’t want to come off as clingy, desperate, or needy. I know it is better for things to develop organically, but at the same time I am a person who likes to know what I am in for. How do I handle this situation?

    1. Honestly I think you are to hard on yourself. Just be you and tell him how you feel. You are blessed with a second chance.

  16. My ex and I dated 20 years ago, broke up and still randomly hooked up for 6 years. he had a girlfriend which became his wife. I eventually got married and was married for 10 years (verbally abusive, mentally abusive and emotionally distant husband). Recently my ex and I were in touch through social media. needless to say I filed for divorce and he had filed for divorce about 4 yrs ago. We are together now and soooo happy it was the best decision I ever made in my life!! With communication and trust you all can do it!

  17. my ex husband and I have been apart since Nov. 2015 divorced in June 2016 (hardest thing I have ever done) I loved him with everything I had. He always had wondering eyes and occasionally had lunch with female coworkers hince led to the divorce. I don’t think he ever had a physical relationship with any of the 3 women he was “friends’ with. Although I thought if they were his friends why couldn’t they be mine too. None the less we have a 16 yr. old son together and share custody with him. I do currently have a boyfriend who is a wonderful guy but I cant help comparing him the the ex. They are complete opposites. Almost every day since I left my ex he has begged for me to come back (married or not ) he wanted me home he says he has realized what he lost. He didn’t even show at our court hearing saying ” it was just to hard” I am wondering if its truly possible for someone to change. I don’t want to go back just to convenience him and myself in the comfort zone we were used to. He was never abusive to me just not there. I was completely devoted to raising our son the best I could so I know I pushed him away a lot, but now that he is older he doesn’t need us as much. We had been together since 1999. please advise with your thoughts thanks

  18. Hi me and my ex broke up 2 years ago just January we started back talking kissing and hugging, but all of a sudden the texting are not how they use to be she would text I would answer then ask her how she was doing then conversation would stop that was Thursday now it’s now Sunday, confused because she kept me in her for all this time, do I initiate the conversation again or just wait. Her actions speak louder than words there is a connection still no doubt even show said it herself.

  19. Thanks for this article. I am dating my ex of 5 years after a 12 year break. He has kids from previous relationships. I am unable to have children. So far things have been going great. Dating again has been met with a few bumps. I really feel like he is truly my soulmate. We are definitely taking time to get to know each other in our adult lives after so many years.

    1. Hi Dani,
      Thank you for your share and I’m so happy to hear that it’s been wonderful! You deserve it. Keep us posted on your status.

  20. Hello, hopefully I can get some guidance.

    Around 2 and a half years ago I broke up with my ex of 5 years. We had a strong stable relationship and loved each other so much. I had to relocate to a different city that’s about 2 hours driving distance away to work with a relatives friend. My ex then decided to move out to her cousins house who lived in the same city that I moved to. Well, after a year of not having much work and making little money, I began to be depressed at the fact that I couldn’t offer much to my ex. The depression got worse and worse to the point that I just quit talking to her. I wanted her to fly away and find someone else who could give her the things I couldn’t. So I cut off all communication. I was too much of a coward to let her know how I felt… Fast forward to today. After reading so many books about inner peace and happiness I managed to pick myself back up and become the confident person I once was. I even have a career with great income and I’m pretty much in the best shape I’ve ever been in my entire life. My life is almost perfect.

    But… I want to get back in touch with her. I know 2 and a half years is a long time to rekindle a relationship. But I want my best friend back. I tried contacting her in late december of 2016 but it wasn’t pretty. She pretty much told me that she wants nothing to do with me and there’s no chance of ever getting back together. I think I took the wrong approach and came a little too strong by telling her how sorry I was and how bad I want to try to work things out but I’m not sure. Since December I’ve had about only 7 texts from her and one phone call at 1:30 in the morning. Which she was intoxicated by the way. But a couple of weeks ago I told her that I’m getting surgery and I basically wrote her a long text expressing how sorry I feel but not saying things like “take me back”. She replied by just saying that she hopes my surgery goes well but that nothing I say will ever change what she thinks of me. I sent her about two more messages after that maybe about 2 or 3 days apart. Then I realized she blocked me. I can’t send her texts and she even blocked me on all social media platforms. I’m not sure what I should do now. I really want her back. I feel like I can’t give up but at the same time I don’t want to stress her out or anything like that.

    My question is this, do you think I have any chance on getting her back?

    1. Hi Angel,
      THank you for your share. I know how hard it is, but getting back with an ex after years apart is possible. I do feel you may have come on too strong, and she may have felt incredibly pressured. However, I do feel that you can rekindle this, but it’s going to take a lot of time. For more thorough insight, I invite you to book a session with me. Id like to know more about this situation in order to give you your best bet.
      Coach N.

  21. Hi Thatsmartguy,
    Thank you for your share. Getting back with an ex after years apart is possible, but it requires balance. You can show her you care for her, but don’t put her on a pedestal. If you do that, she’ll feel no need or sense of urgency to get back together, as she’ll become the power holder between you two. If you need more in depth advice, I invite you to book a session with me. I can help you figure this out.
    Coach N.

  22. Hey, I need some advice in my situation. I dated this beautiful girl all senior year of high school. She was so far out of my league, I was just the luckiest guy. She made me feel so loved so happy so complete. She was the first and only girl I’ve ever felt like she could be the one. I know that sounds naiive coming from a 19 year old but it honestly felt so right. Sadly, we broke up because I had to go to college and she was a rising senior. We had other issues, mostly my issues like I wasn’t mature enough, I was selfish, I wasnt always the emotional support she needed. She was so selfless and loving and really deserved better. Anyway, we broke up the summer before I went away and we would talk maybe once a month for the next 9 months. I thought that we had built a semi nirmal friendship over that time. After 9 months, we saw each other for the first time. As soon as I feel back into her eyes my heart just filled with love. Just seeing her smile felt so right, a feeling I hadn’t felt since we broke up. However, it turns out she is dating this new guy. My heart sank so low when I found out that news. The past nine months I’ve been concentrating on growing in the areas that I lacked in our relationship. This is with the hope that one day I’ll hopefully deserve her. So finding out she dating again is a little discouraging. I could use some advice on what to do next. I really want her to be happy, she deserves nothing but happiness. I really don’t want to be a part of messing things up for them, I there relationship to play out how its supposed to be. So do I forget her and let her date this guy hoping that he makes her happy? Do I continue our friendship until I feel like I’ve grown? I really don’t know what is best? I want to do whats best for her, but also don’t want to lose her? Is there any hope I can achieve both? Should I back off from her when she dating this guy, even if my present intentions are to just be friends?

    1. Hi! If your true intentions are to be friends, then I would reach out and express that. It’s all about approach, though, so don’t come on too strong! If you’re looking for the perfect way, I can help here. Please feel free to book a session with me. These situations are my speciality.
      All the best!
      Coach N.

  23. Hi guys. I would like to know how everyone has made it happen in terms where I haven’t made its been 5 years apart with my ex 2016 we spoke via email and he mentioned that he is happy with where he is and assumes I’m happy. After that email we met for dinner got another email later stating that while we had dinner he wondered how far we would have been if it wasnt the day I broke up with him and it brought an unpleasant feeling. I still like the person but I don’t know if I should close the chapter or email him a year later today as it’s his birthday…
    Please help..

    1. Hi Angela,
      The questions your asking are personal, and so I encourage you to reflect on what it is you’d like from an ideal relationship and how close this person can get to this. Are the reasons you broke up fixable?
      Coach N.

      1. Hi

        Yes I told him I don’t want to get married and I feel like I actually do want to get married but not to any other guy but him I only realized that 2016

  24. I just got broken up with my ex girlfriend who iv been with for 10 years of my life, we have an 8 year old daughter. We have lived together arguing like most couples do, but I just kinda noticed something different about her. She didn’t wanna hug caressing or nothing, so I suspected something was wrong. We talked and she said she didn’t love me that she needed her space, but I started to feel very sad and devastated. So I decided to leave and just stay in contact with her because of our daughter, and I just wonder if she will ever give me another chance.

    1. Hi Gerardo,
      Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how hard this can be. I think that in order for us to answer your question of whether she’ll give you another chance, we’ll have to delve deeply into the reason behind her distance. What pushed her away and are these things fixable? If you need help identifying this and developing a strategy to turn the situation around, please feel free to let me know, I’d love to work with you.
      Wishing you the best always,
      Coach N.

  25. Hi Liane,
    Thank you for your share. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I feel like you need to determine what is best for you, and if it happens to coincide with his plans, then that’s great. My fear here is that if you move to where he needs or dramatically readjust your life, he’ll find himself to be the main source of control in the relationship and then you’ll always be facing an uphill battle. It’ll always be on his terms.
    I really hope this helps and fill us in on what happens.
    Coach N.

  26. 6 months ago my ex-husband (5 years) and I started talking more often. He started coming home monthly and stayed here at our home. 3 months ago he said to me out of nowhere “it didn’t take us 5 minutess to unravel, it isn’t going to take us 5 minutes to re-ravel.” That night he kissed me good night and we ended up making love. He told me that he has never stopped loving me and that he loves me and has missed me. I told him the same. However, he is in a relationship (not married) and he knows that at some point he is going to have to end it with her or me. He continues to come home monthly and we have a great time while he is home. He hates leaving me (we’re only 2-1/2 hours away from each other) and I hate when he leaves. We text daily and we tell each other we love each other and miss each other terribly. I just don’t know how long he can keep this going with both of us and how long can I continue this even though I love him with all my heart?

    1. Hi Lovehimmorenow,
      I know hot frustrating and painful this can be. I feel like you should in time communicate this concern with him. It’s valid. However the way you go about it is critical, so make sure to spend lots of time prepping. If you need assistance, we can help.
      Wishing you the best,
      Coach N

  27. Hi Jami,
    Thanks for your follow up – I invite you to book a session with me. I can help you.
    Coach N

  28. Hi I was with my ex for 15 years. We were going through a few problems but I knew he would never cheat on me. However he took a woman 25 years his junior. I believe it is a mid life crisis. They are still together after a year and a half. He was so hurtful too me and blamed me for everything. There are other things he has done so out of character. I still love him dearly and forgive him as I know without his problems he really would never have done this too me. We were not married but were near as anyone could be without the certificate. Have I got a chance of a new beginning with him. I can not give up if there is a chance. X

  29. I write here today, after 25 days of not having seeing her. I dont know when she herself decided to call it quits, hence cant say how long it has been since the breakup. Yes it is living nightmare that she didnt even want to talk, leave alone meeting me for clearing out the things. The story began about 10 months ago wherein we connected via socia media platform and within a month we involved the family and decided to be along together. We had been knowing a little bit since bachelors, as we were together for 4 years…no friends but more of collegues. Both had feelings at that time…and hence 2 years later we connected on social media. Spent 8 months in long distance, with her studying in another country and me as well. We engaged in our home country..and things were going well kinda. We had our share of fights and misunderstandings, but I was less expressive of my discontent or anger as I didnt want to get her hurt. She was able to notice this. Let me tell you that this connect was, is and will remain soulful as I dont want to have anyone else than her. Now due to a major fight, the families got invilved and seperated us. I tried to reach her out through the friends and in the process ended up opening the things…our fights and the things I felt where I was wrong, and where she was…it was an attempt to reach out to her and make someone exolain her that I am going to be there for her always. This now, she misunderstands as my means of defaming her, breaking her trust and being immature to such an extent that she broke the relationship herself with less than a month of engagement…I know that its wrong of me to have taken other routes, but I myself was forbidden to reach directly…by her and my family…which she thinks now as my means of excuse. 2 days ago when after lot of discussions with her father, he let me have a word with her. Till now I believed that it would be some sort of family intervention that led to breakup…but it was her completely. With every word on the phone, she butchered my heart…telling me to move on, as she has already and what not…I did everything…begged her for fogiveness…begged to be in touch…but in vain……and in the end even as she said a formal good night…I told her..that I love her… no means of literature would ever convince me to move past her and dive into vast ocean…and have go with another girl. I have loved her and soulfully I have dedicated myself to her…a life will be short to seperate us…in good times, we said that to each other. I want to know, how much time should I take before approaching her again? What would bury the burns of this despair between us? Would she ever realise that breaking up over such a thing is just destructive? I have, I do and I will love her for and beyond this life…
    Any help appreciated..

    1. Hi Phoenix,

      I’m Coach Natalie, thanks for tuning into our YouTube channel. I’m really caught up with work today, because at 1PM EST today, we’re hosting a free live webinar on how to secure a date with your ex after the breakup. If you’re free in just over an hour, I invite you to tune in – I feel you’ll gain some additional insight on your situation. Here’s the link:

      Hoping to meet you soon,

      Coach N

  30. i am going through a divorce, but have recently started realising that i still have very strong feelings for my ex, who is married. We have been divorced for 10 years now. I have tried contacting him but his current wife is very possessive, im blocked on all social media and even think my nr is diverted to her phone.I have recently discovered that he is having problems in his marriage.
    Everytime i contact him, he doesnt respond.How do i go about making him realise that i still love him?
    He used to contact me and tell me he talks to clients alot about how great our marriage was and how great we were… Where do i go from here?

    1. Hello Sandra!

      Thanks for reaching out.

      I think that I can help you turn things around but you will need to book a coaching session in order for us to work together.

      You can book a coaching session with me here:

      If you book a session, I will reach out to you right away to schedule a time and day for us to speak.

      Hope to chat with you soon!


      Coach Natalie

  31. Ok. So it’s complicated. !! I left my husband 10 years ago for another man. I have stayed very close to him because of kids and stuff. I have always regretted leaving him and for the past year have tried to get back with him. He thought about it and we “hooked up ” a few times but then he said he didn’t want to get back together. We still do stuff as a family and neither one of us is in a relationship. I’m scared to push myself on him to much because I don’t want to scare what I do have of him away. Help. I really want us to be a couple again!!!

    1. Hi Glenda,
      Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. Realistically, I feel that in order to really help, you’ll need a tailored gameplan and I’ll need to hear EVERYTHING that’s happened. If you’re up for it – I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me or Coach Adrian. You can do so by visiting this link:
      I hope to hear from you and I hope all is going well with you – I know how painful this can be.
      Coach N

  32. Hi Darryl,
    Thank you for reaching out to me and congrats on doing so much leg work already with this situation. I know it can be really tricky! In order for me to help, I’d like to learn some more things, and so I invite you to book a session with me.
    I’m excited to help!
    Here’s the link:
    Wishing you the best,
    Coach N

  33. My girlfriend and I got together at a young age, I was 19 and she was 18. She moved to England to study but we maintained a long distance relationship for 5 years. I was on and off visiting her whilst trying to get a job to live with her but due to immigration it was extremely difficult. She has always been a physical person so a long distance for her was hard. She decided it was time to part ways because I was not getting a job. On the day of our break up she also admitted to cheating on me with her flat mate when they went on a vacation.

    We have since been not talking and from watching your videos I have learned that I should keep contact at a minimum, focus on fixing the problems that caused us to break up and show her later on that I have changed and could make her happy.

    This means for me, that I have to get fit and undergo a new college degree for a better chance at getting a job. The only problem is that this is a 6 year degree. I’ll be 30 when I graduate.

    Does it even make sense to chase her after her then??? She says she still loves me and always will, especially as I was her first sex partner. But wouldn’t her have other partners over that time make her move on and forget about me?

    I need advice please 🙁

    1. Hi Sean,
      Thanks for reaching out. I do believe that theres a chance to turn this around for you – but theres a few more things I’d like to know. I invite you to schedule a session with me, so we can speak over the phone and develop a strategy.
      If you’d like to discuss, please visit this link:
      I’m excited to help you get your ex back for good.
      Coach N

  34. I dated this woman 5 yr ago for a very short time *2 months) and really fell hard for her. I thought we were ‘exclusive’ but she was dating another guy simultaneously, and she ultimately broke up with me to pursue a relationship with this other guy. i cannot tell you how crushed i was. It was devastating and it took me a long time to recover, but i never even came close to the connection i thought we had. Fast forward 5 yr. and she reached out to me on social media. We talked a couple times and then went on a ‘date’. This was about 2.5 months ago and we have reignited the former passion (and yes, we are exclusive) I was amazed at myself that i could get past all of the pain, but i would be lying if i didn’t say that, while i have never been happier in any former relationship, i am scared to death that she could so easily destroy me again. When we are not together, I am sick to my stomach. I do not believe at all that there is anyone else, but i kind of feel like i am way more into her than she is me. I try to be strong, but am i fooling myself? For full transparency, we are both 50, so this isn’t our first rodeo. How do i prevent the past scars from jeopardizing this newborn love?

    1. Hi MrOutside,
      Thanks for sharing your story with me and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I would like to help you, and I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me. I’m confident I can support. Please visit this link:
      I’m looking forward to connecting with you.
      Coach N

  35. this is a great article.
    after a rocky but beautiful 9 year relationship with my son’s mother we ended our relationship. but obviously kept in touch due to our son. she moved on and had a child from someone else. i unfortunately went the fling/hook-up/1 night stand route. fast forward to 8/27/17 out of the blue she opens up about her feelings towards me which is pretty much how i felt about her ( 8 yrs separated from her). long story short we have set-up a date of jan 1 to move-in and make everything official. we are both elated about the whole situation. Am i living a dream or do things like this happen after such a long time of separation. any/all feedback will be appreciated

    1. Way to go!!! I’m so glad to read this! Make sure to set the groundwork to a lasting relationship – if you need assistance with this, we can help. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Coach Adrian or myself.
      All the best!!
      Coach N

  36. Look one thing I can say from experience of heart break and tears is that most people come on here with a bitter taste and an unclear mind. My suggestion get off the internet take some time and follow your heart. If love is true no time will change that!! You may say well we had plans or golas and now if I wait for awhile I wont be able to do that. You will. Live for you become a better you. Its hard but if your break up is fresh you’re not in the right frame of mind. So if you love someone fight even from the back burner but be who you are and it will happen.

  37. My ex and I dated online for 4 months, because we are in different countries. We broke up 8 months ago after she was acting like crazy about little things and I was really distracted and busy with my PhD study. I could not tolerate anymore. Now I have feelings again for her, I contacted her on facebook to get back together again, she said its too late, where have you been all this months long. How to get her back again, I really have a cruch on her

  38. hi
    me and my ex were together for 14 years and unforuatly we split up over money worries and i wasnt a nice person i was drinking and arguing this year i have decived i want her back as i think she is my soul mate.
    i have sent a letter to her talking of how i miss her and would like to go on a date again see if there is anything there but i havent heard anything back from her she is single i know that i am thinging of leaving it a few weeks and senting some flowers saying please could we go on a date and see if we get on again i dont want to push it i know it i wouldnt have a chance of getting her back then.
    i do still love her with all my heart i cant seem to move on or want to to be honest any advice anyone can give me would be appectated

    i just want to start talking to her but i dont want to start face to face would perfer to send flowers to test the water or something then move on to face to face
    i miss her so much its like everything has gone grey i have tryed dating other girls but its not the same i think anyway

  39. Hi my ex broke up with me over 2 years ago. We were drug addicts when we first got together and after 1 1/2 years using we stopped getting high and i got a good job and life was going smooth. I would fuck up and get high once every few months but she remained sober. I had a hardcore relapse and lost my job, at the same time her mom had just died and I wasn’t there for her like she needed me to be because I was so riddled with shame and guilt about being high and in my addicts train of thought i was the one paying all the bills and felt a lot of resentment for being looked at like I was some monster. Long story short I’ve been sober 19 months now, she left me in June of 2015.
    I got into an intense court ordered drug rehab program and started working out and eating and living healthy.
    I’ve lost about 70 lbs since me and her we’re together I’ve got a good job moving up very quickly in a new industry and we have kept contact the whole two years apart but only via text. Never ran into each other anywhere and I cut ties with all our old mutual friends.
    The only form of social media we communicate on is Snapchat and I always make sure I post my daily events in hopes that she would see how different things are.
    Well a few weeks ago she asked me to a movie.
    She specified ‘as friends’ because I bought the tickets which I fully intended on her reimbursing me for but the movie was gonna sell out so I nabbed them early.
    I showed up looking very good, brand new outfit fresh haircut earlier that day
    and she showed up in what looked like the clothes she had been lounging around the house in all day.
    We saw the movie and shared popcorn and the same soda and cracked jokes to each other about things like how I used to fall asleep in movies cuz I was drinking and little stuff.
    After the movie ended we chatted for a few minutes outside while I smoked a cigarette and when I was done with it she offered me a ride Home which I declined because it was very far out of her way and I just wasn’t gonna accept a ride home because I have my uber pass that’s super cheap and saves me a fortune every month so I don’t need a car.
    Anyways, she showed up at the restaurant I work at with her sister a few days later and had brunch we talk like every day about random stuff. We went to the movies again last Wednesday which was 2 weeks after the first movie and only because I had got seats too close to the screen for the original movie we wanted on the first outing so we finally were watching the movie we had planned from the start to see. Another casual day she had a lot of work to go do so she left after we chatted while I had a cigarette again.
    Our favorite comedian is performing for the first time ever in our city since we discovered him and I asked her if she wanted to go since I got some free tickets to it from a local radio host I’m friends with and she said yes. We are having dinner at the restaurant I work at first because I get 50% off and it’s great food.
    I’m really not in a position to waste time chasing her so I plan on telling her at the end of the night that I still have major feelings for her and we probably shouldn’t hang out if she doesn’t feel the same way, after I talk to her about some of the guilt that I’ve needed to gather my closure for. What do you think her intentions were in the first place? I haven’t asked any mutual friends that are involved because I don’t want anyone’s opinions or insight about something that only me and her should discuss but I would like some advice on what she could have going thru her head or maybe how to play it so that it does lead into us back together.
    The first time I ever met her years before we even started dating I told my best friend after one conversation with her that someday I was gonna marry that girl
    We were together 5 years and did a lot of firsts in life together. Got my first apartment with her, rented my first house with her, bought my first brand new car with her, got sober and maintained a home for the first time in my life. We were best friends before we became lovers and it was complete unexpected when we did first get together. We had a lot of good times and a few shitty ones.
    She seems to be going out drinking 2-4 times a week at night and posting it on her snap chat story, I had heard she was dating a guy but when she and I had talked about the comedians show she said she had planned on maybe asking her brother to go with her cuz she had no one else to go with so I don’t know
    It complicated and I’m not trying to get wrapped up in something that’s gonna hurt and I feel like it’s gonna be the 3rd time we’ve seen each other in less than a month after over 2 years with no face time and her never being the one to initiate contact… it literally was me texting her first except for my birthday twice. She made comments on snaps from my story but never texted about anything. I would send her updates on my accomplishments in the drug program and job prospects and she would respond with a good job or atta boy
    But I didn’t feel like I had my friend, I felt like I was just bothering someone uninterested in the conversation. And then she asked me to the movie and I was flabbergasted
    So she’s gonna have to know that being in my life isn’t gonna be as someone to grab a movie with so I’m taking her to see someone we used to laugh together in bed while watching and afterwards she can head in whichever direction she’s headed but at least I’ll know and won’t have invested much more than the peace of being able to let go or the feat of getting back someone I lost and got back as a completely different version of the same person she once fell in love with
    I don’t think it’s very cool of her to even have initiated this shit and not explained why or anything.
    I even brought up how off guard her inviting me out was and she had nothing to say about it.
    So I’ll let her get at me face to face and let me know where her head is and was at
    Either way I’ll feel good about either way it plays out
    I’ve gone thru the grief already, now it’ll just be relief of the uncertainty looming

    1. Hi Bobby,
      Thanks for sharing your story. I feel like, due to your histories, distance is really necessary. Don’t let the emotional floodgates run rampant. Let her miss you and continue focussing on your personal development and the rest will fall in to place.
      Coach N.

  40. My ex husband and I got back in touch recently. It has been over 15 years since we split. We feel in love at first sight and married within six months. He’s British, and I’m American. We married in America, but once we got to the UK…we ran out of money. I couldn’t work and decided to go back to America. He tried to follow me, but I had decided to move on.
    A few years later I recognized my mistake. We would talk, but the timing never worked out. Either he was single or I was but never at the same time. Over a decade later…we had both lost our mothers. After some therapy, I finally understood my triggers. I realized the way I treated him was quite bad, so I finally apologized.
    He had a family at this point. I wasn’t apologizing to get him back. I wanted him to be happy. I was apologizing because I realized most of the fault was mine. I had blamed him for being poor and young.
    His response was a shock. He asked me why I couldn’t have apologized two years earlier. I asked why. He said he would have taken me back. Now he had a baby and a family. He wanted to keep his family together.
    That was four years ago.
    A year ago the mother of his child kicked him out. He’s been battling for custody. A couple of weeks ago he asked me if I wanted to meet up. We are both single.
    After talking for hours about what happened, and how he spent 20k on court fees to get more time with his daughter…and we rehashed everything. The good, the bad. We decided I should visit him. He wants me to meet his daughter.
    Old feelings have come back for both of us, so I suppose I’m going to give this a try.

  41. Been 1 year now since my gorgeous Ex left me we where together for 2 years strong but after the first year we wanted a family so we got pregnant and where going to have a daughter but 22 weeks we had a Miscarriage!!

    And then we both had big problems and fights over the phone long distance relationship 3 hours apart

    Then last Feb she left and within two weeks she got a new guy from the US

    And one month of knowing each other they are Living together and Engaged lol stupidly wow .She really did love me deeply and cared I’m Blocked on all the social media! Help me!! She has been stalking me through her boyfriend’s Facebook but I’ve now Blocked it lol

    She seems happy but idk relationship seems fake like she’s using him he’s got more to offer than me! Annoying

    I still love her and can’t move Everything

    i want her and that guy gone!! People say it’s a Rebound??

    1. Hi AWFP,
      Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. It’s evident that this situation is as dense as it is delicate, and so I invite you to schedule a session with me. I believe I can help.
      Coach N

  42. I was married for 10 years with my hs sweet heart. We broke up after a very toxic relationship no trust, drugs were involved we lost everything. I went to rehab & domestic violence counseling. I did it all alone. I moved on and stayed strong for myself and my kids. I started seeing this new guy but he won’t commit 5 months still not his gf. Met his mom & son. But said it’s a lot of pressure to meet my parents for a birthday dinner. I have always been in touch with my ex. Now he said he is a different man. He joined Jiu-Jitsu and I see he is different. Deep down he is the love of my life. But I like this new guy I feel like a different women around him. I feel like I’m at my best. What do I do???

    1. Hi Silvia,
      I think its important to be thankful for your ability to heal to the point of being able to like someone else. This in itself is such a blessing.
      Coach N.

  43. Was with my ex for 5 years all of a sudden he told me he didn’t love me anymore, and didn’t want to be in a serious relationship. We currently still live together and I’m moving out in November. We also have a dog. He told me he didn’t want to have to tell me where he is all the time. I was told he wants to be alone:

  44. My ex is the most beautiful girl i have wver known. Her family is amazing as is she. I had so many chancws to get bacj with hwr or stay with her afyer she found out i had another girl liiving at my house a couole months into our relationship. This girl i was with before her and while i was with hwr was the most genuine person i have ever known and i would be brutally honest with her until feeling bad or aorry for it would make me take back what i suid . The girl found out which was great actually becausd she still wanted to be my girl. Then she wanted me to do things i wanted to do too but i felt i coudnt becausd i didnt want to do these things like get her a ring and move in tofethwr so soon after breaking the other firks heart. I love her still. She gave me plenty of chances to provw myself to her again and i fot fed up and started seeing other girls again. Stuoid me. I wish for nothinf ekse but for things ro go back to how they were. Its been two hears now and she is all i think about. Everyday im at work i yell duck over and ovwr again becauze of how my life has ended up and im nit with her. I have plummited down a eocky slope over the two years and have no motivation anymore. Lost tons of friends bexiase i dont smoke like i used to and now im just alone and with a girl twice my age trying to find true happiness but it just makes me wven more miserable. If i ever had the chance to be with her again. I would apologize to her family and friends and i woukd never do anything else to hurt her in that way or leave her ever again. I coukdnt be alone. And after she found out about the othwr girk her mom kept finding things for them to do togethwr on my days off. Hindering me from expressing myself with her and having hwr with me as much as i thought i needwd. Im your typical american fool who has been to helk and back thinking about the one that i let go and im so atupid. I will nevwr feel the same about myself ever again. She was evweything i had ever hoped for. I left a 3 year relationahip to be with hwr and then just tossed her aside because i blamed wveryonw else for qhat i had done. I thought i was the shit. I thought i coud have anyone whenever. Now im screwed because i wasnt thinking rationally. I love you georgia

  45. Hi there I’ve been apart from my ex for 15 years now. We had a fiery relationship. She was feisty and I loved her deeply. She hurt me by splitting from me and then having a one night stand when we broke up. We got back together and she told me about it. I was very angry. She had a daughter who didn’t like me and there was a big fallout over her daughter on holiday. We ended our relationship and both of us were very hurt. Years have gone on and I still love her. I sent her a couple of messages on social media and she responded a little but I get a sense she may be with someone else. I know we both deeply care for each other. What is your advice?

    1. Hi Martin,
      Thanks for reaching out. Without knowing a few more things, I’m unsure how to guide. However, I would love to connect with you in a coaching session to learn more and help you achieve results.

  46. My ex and I started texting everyday and going out on April, on June I left to new york for two months. He went on his own to visit me for a week (that’s when we became official) On august I returned to Houston and we saw each other about 3-4 days a week. Two weeks ago he broke up because on January he is leaving to England for 7 months and says he didn’t want to risk screwing up the relationship because he won’t have a lot of time, etc. But that anything could happen in the future.
    I’m scared he might forget about me since we didn’t date that long.
    He would always tell me how he was so happy with me and that he had become a better person because of me, etc.
    Do you think when he comes back it might work again? I love him, what should I do? I just don’t want things to end.

    1. Hi Amanda,
      I feel like you two aren’t together now for the right reasons. he could have gone to England and sabotaged everything – but he didn’t. I would reach out soon and ask him how he’s travels are going. Try to extract any drama and just show him you’re understanding and that you’re compatible.
      I hope this helps!

  47. Hello Tracie,
    I know this can be incredibly difficult. I advise you to reset this relationship completely. You will need to show your ex that you have taken some time to reflect and change some things that happened in the relationship that set the two of you apart. I believe this may help with your situation.
    WMEA Team

  48. Hello Vish,
    I think your ex has proposed a great offer to you of friendship. What you cannot do at this point is show her that your are desperate or do any form of pleading. Don’t bring up the past and just move forward with her when you have a friendship. I would recommend you contact us so we can walk you through the re-seduction process.
    WMEA Team

  49. Hello John,
    I understand this time can be difficult. I would suggest to reevaluate the relationship as a 180 and see the ways she wanted you to be there so she felt supported. Show her that you are doing this now through actions will catch her attention. Also, you want to be sure that your confident and uplifting when you are around her. Establish a friendship and when you see she is starting to reciprocate then flirt with her a little.
    WMEA Team

  50. Hello Melissa,
    Yes, I encourage you to take things slow and not jump in too fast. Take control of the situation and continue to be confident, and positive when you are around. If you would like a tailored approach please reach out to us so we can guide you through a private coaching session.
    WMEA Team

  51. Hello The Unknown,
    Thank you for sharing your story. There is a lot that went on in your relationship and a lot of these situations are life changing events that deserve to be recognized. I know its complicated and I encourage you to stay strong and always follow your heart on what you think is the right thing to do. Now, I cannot answer if you will be able to be back with him through a blog as I would need to speak with you about the dynamics of this relationship. I think it would be best if you reach out to us for a private coaching session so we can guide you along this journey.
    WMEA Team

  52. Hello Autumn,
    I would stop being the one to continue reaching out. Take things slow and do not give him 100% until you have the title of the relationship again. Be positive, and show him confidence. Possibly take a while to reply to his text just like he does to you. If you would like tailored advice I highly encourage you to reach out to we can give you a tailored action plan to your situation.
    WMEA Team

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *