Texts to get your ex back! I’ve been receiving messages during these last few weeks on getting back together with an ex with text message. The question can seem surprising, and I have to admit that the first time someone asked me this I thought it was a joke. But as I received more and more messages on the subject, I realized one very important thing: The question just wasn’t being asked correctly.
Instead of asking if getting back together with an ex via text messages is impossible, try to open your mind and understand the dynamics at play and what you can do to maximize this type of communication platform with the one you love.
When you switch your focus, the game changes because the answer completely changes! In this article you will learn whether or not texts are useful in your personal attempt at getting back together, how you should use them, and what traps you should avoid.
Is getting back together with an ex via text messages even possible?
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, when someone asked me about different potential techniques for getting back together with an ex via text messages, I was rather surprised. Could you imagine if a simple text message was all it took to restart your relationship? On top of that, there are certain things to look out for because using this type of communication can easily backfire. In truth, this unusual way to get back together with your ex could work, but only under specific circumstances that I will talk about a little later.
Understanding how to get back together with your ex isn’t that simple
Throughout my career as a coach on starting new relationships with an ex, I’ve been able to help thousands of people that have in turn helped me to understand the subtleties of love and the complexity of reestablishing a bond that has been broken.
A separation can be deeply traumatizing for the two partners. A person never leaves a breakup unscathed, which is why I don’t think it’s reasonable to limit your methods of getting back together to text messages. Figuring out what to say to your ex and convincing them to come back is never simple and it sometimes takes weeks or even months before you reach your goal.
The steps to success in getting back together are very clear, and just like a formula in math, you have to follow the steps to a T if you want a successful result. You may have heard about the hand-written letter, radio silence aka the No Contact Rule, and inverted dependence, but trying to get your ex back via text message is not really the most useful technique.
Limiting your attempt at getting together to texts can even be dangerous and could result in serious setbacks. It’s full of traps that you have to do your best to avoid, but don’t worry, in this article you’ll learn about those as well.
Understanding the importance of space after a breakup
After a breakup, your ex will have one essential need: space. I know that I often repeat this fact, but I always receive numerous testimonies (feel free to leave your comment as well at the end of this article) in which my readers state that they realized that they were being way too present and overbearing to their ex, and that it was detrimental to their attempt of getting back together.
It’s imperative that you give your ex room to breathe in order to not make things worse than they already are.This is especially true if you’re thinking, “She’s not replying to me anymore,” or “My ex boyfriend is ignoring me!” This is also exactly why I think it’s important to stress that after a breakup, you of course must take action – but don’t immediately go running back to your ex, literally. You must take the adequate amount of time needed for you following a break up to ensure that you rebuild yourself on a personal level and to overcome your heartache. The first step to getting back with your ex begins with a good look in the mirror and an enormous effort on your part!
Once you’ve recovered a bit and are able to regain somewhat of a positive attitude, it’s time to think of how you can go the extra mile and consequently, how to act more efficiently. This will make figuring out how to talk to an ex again way easier. All the while, remember to keep some distance to not be overbearing to your ex. By the way, you shouldn’t try to make any plans to get together with your ex or even have a long conversation with him or her within the span of the few days following the breakup.
It’s mainly for this reason that making up with your ex through text messages is sometimes the perfect alternative between remoteness and forwardness. In doing so, you are respecting the distance they are seeking while renewing contact with your ex. However, it usually isn’t enough just to send text messages to get your ex back. More often than not, you must take the initiative but also put other plans into motion as well.
Texts to get your ex back or not to text…That is the question!
It’s important to note that text messaging isn’t the only option you can use to combine distance with reconciliation. In fact, you can use a time-tested and well known technique used for getting your ex back. I’m talking about a period of zero contact. One the numerous products available on our website is a guide to radio silence; and although it is a well-known technique, it is one that can at times be poorly implemented if you don’t properly adapt it to your personal situation. You may be asking yourself, “What does cutting contact have to do with using text messages to get my ex back? Aren’t they two totally different methods?!”
At first, you must completely cut off ties with your ex, but at the same time, you must also take the first step to make new ties. When you decide to give your partner some space by ceasing communications, it’s indeed necessary for allowing them to breathe and calm down, but its primary goal is to create a desire. To put it bluntly, you want to make them feel uneasy about your absence. You will use this distance to make your former partner feel the desire to be in touch with you again. It’s human nature… When you suddenly take something away from someone, they want it back!
So this is where the big difference lies. You don’t want to directly re-establish communication… Your first goal is to make your ex miss you – and sending texts can be seen as quite the opposite, since you’re going straight into a seduction phase and quickly try to re-establish the attraction between you and your ex…
To summarize, in most situations, the best thing you can do when you want your ex back after a breakup is to cut contact for a set period of time.
Once you’ve taken the necessary steps during this period of zero or reduced contact, then you can think about how to message your ex. Texting your ex can be the perfect way to get back in contact because it’s not aggressive, and you can continue to respect the space that your ex needs while things are being pieces back together. Before we get into the how-to’s, let’s look at some of the important things to keep in mind in order to avoid making mistakes during this delicate period.
Be careful of pitfalls while you’re trying to get back together
Using texts to get back together with your ex can lead you into pitfalls that can result in your being left for good. In order to stay out of trouble and to ensure that your ex doesn’t block your number or block you on Facebook, here are 3 very important tips to keep in mind when sending texts.
Not using the right word could prove to be very dangerous in a short message. This can be misinterpreted especially if your ex resents you or if you were harassing them during the breakup. Each of your words have to be well thought out; just like as if you were writing a letter. Remember: text messages aren’t always clear!
You should be aware that even a simple message such as, “How are you,” could be interpreted in many different ways. Your ex could think, “Oh that’s nice, he/she is checking in,” or your ex could take it the wrong way and think, “They just want me to say that things aren’t so great and that I miss them.”
How to text your ex: A message that’s too long
Succeeding in getting back together with your ex via text message isn’t easy because your message can be misinterpreted, but there’s another thing that could limit your chances of success. This is the length of your message. A text message is usually supposed to be short, but when a person wants to restart their relationship with their ex, their message can get very long… too long.
If you try to get back together with your ex through text message, try to keep it short and sweet (and concise!) The goal isn’t to annoy the person you want; you want to spark their interest!
Getting into nostalgia or emotions
Another frequent error is constantly wanting to talk about the past in your messages. You have to stop focusing on your nostalgia and on what you’ve experienced together. You ex needs something else! It’s of course tempting to send a little message saying, “I miss you,” “I love you,” or “My feelings for you are still strong,” but these types of things can damage your odds of success so refrain from sending them.
Text messages about a fight vs. about the post-breakup heartache
There IS a situation in which you can use texts to improve the state of affairs, and it’s when you and your significant are still together but going through a rough patch. In truth, if you and your ex have had a fight and you try to smooth things over using a simple text message, it could be frowned upon because your ex could wonder if you truly understand the gravity of the situation.
On the other hand, during a fight (not a breakup) with your partner, you can use it to ease the situation. Does this sound confusing? Basically, it makes more sense to use texts to resolve conflict in a relationship or after a breakup for something insignificant than after a painful separation.
The reason is simple; your ex wants more from you than a simple text message. They want to see a real reaction; that you’ll do what it takes to fix the problem instead of sending two or three silly words that will show up on their phone.
Texting an ex is more of a complimentary technique
If you do it properly, using a text message to get your ex back could prove to be successful. Ideally, it should be used in addition to traditional methods of getting back together. A text at the right time could be a plus when you’re taking the necessary steps to once again win the heart of your ex, but just a text alone will be unlikely to do the trick.
Classic techniques for getting back together: Reliable methods
Between one technique for getting back together and another, it’s hard to know which one is the most efficient. Should you try radio silence or the hand-written letter (more on that in a moment)? Did the rendezvous that you had with your ex positively conclude your attempt at getting back together, or was it your work on fixing the issues that needed to be addressed what made things right again? Only the help of an experienced professional will help you figure out the best thing to do as quickly as possible.
One thing is for sure; the “classic techniques” for getting back together with your ex will bear fruit sooner or later. Using complimentary actions alone (such as using texts messages to get back together with your ex) are less sure-fire. These actions need to be combined with something concrete, like a proper understanding of how to seduce your ex and how to rebuild a solid foundation for your relationship. This way you can insist on an important point or they can come after the crucial point in getting back together: Meeting up with your ex.
Using a text message to get your ex back won’t guarantee impressive results. You’re not going to be able to send two or three messages and suddenly have reason to believe “My ex wants me back!” You have to take a step back and analyze your specific situation so that you’ll know whether or not you’d succeed in getting back together by sending a text, whether you should forget about using your phone, or whether maybe even sending a Facebook message in the hopes of getting back together could work.
Would sending a text message be useful in YOUR situation?
Every situation is unique so it is hard to make generalities, but I think it’s safe to say that you’re always wondering if sending texts is something you should do. To help you get a better idea of what’s right for you, here is an indicative list that will show you which actions are best in which situations.
Situations in which you can use a text message when you want to get back together with your ex
If you find yourself in one of these situations then a text message might prove to be useful in your attempt at getting back together with your ex:
– Your ex is still over you
– The reason behind the breakup wasn’t very serious
– You weren’t together for more than a few months
– You’d like to maintain a little contact with your ex
– Your ex is addicted to texts
– You want to remind them of something funny or surprising
– You want to gently get back in touch after radio silence
– You began your relationship via text message
– When you are blocked on social media
Situations in which texts aren’t appropriate for getting back together
On the other hand if you’re in one of the situations listen below, it wouldn’t be a good idea to getting back with an ex with text messages .
– You’ve made a big mistake
– Your ex hasn’t replied to your last calls or messages
– Your ex feels harassed or badgered
– When your ex need space
– Your breakup was sudden and painful
– Your ex hates impersonal means of communication
Is a handwritten letter better than a text message?
On top of using text messages to get your ex back, I want to bring your attention to another tool that can work wonders in almost any situation. It’s a tried and true French method that has worked for thousands and thousands of people. It’s more personal than a text message, it can be longer than just a few sentences, and it’s a tangible thing that the person you love can hold on to.
The handwritten letter allows you to respect your ex’s need for space, while gently communicating some very important things, so it can be considered the ideal tool! A letter to your ex is a powerful way to bring back romantic memories or to make a face to face meeting happen to reignite the love that you once both had for one another. If you want to go further into detail about this powerful tool, check this guide on letter right away and get on the road to success in this endeavor!
You could very well end up stopping your no contact period or follow up a text message with a letter to your ex. You will still keep some distance, but the impact of such a letter is not the same as a text message. Especially since nowadays nobody expects to receive a handwritten letter, and especially not from their ex following a breakup!
Furthermore, before having read this, would you have ever contemplated using my time-tested strategy of sending a handwritten letter to your ex? I bet not, unless you have read another one of my articles, in which I explain the thought process and the best ways to meet your goals through this process!
When I discuss this method with the men and women who call on me for relationship advice, most of them aren’t familiar with it or how to write in an efficient and fruitful manner.
So, is it possible to getting back with an ex with text messages or not?
Everything is possible! But if you want real results, there are better things that you can do. In order to get back together with your ex quickly, it’s best to use the tried and true methods that I have been recommending for years.
Getting back together with an ex via text messages is too uncertain and results are far from guaranteed. There are definitely other unconventional methods of getting back together with your significant other that work much better! The most important thing is to not go about reaching your goal without having properly planned it. This is why I highly recommend that you read our eBook that can be found here.
The coach that helps you to getting back with an ex with text messages