Would you like to have a technique that will help you to turn the tables and make your ex be the one that wants you back? How can you get another chance without begging or declaring your love to them? What is “reversed psychology” and how can it help you get back together with your ex?
In March 2015, My partner alex had the pleasure of being the first French writer to have published a book with a major publishing house, Michel Lafon, on how to rekindle the flame after a breakup.
Within this book, he discuss the most important techniques that we teach to people during coaching sessions, and one of them is how to use reverse psychology to get your ex back. By using this technique, you regain control and you shift a situation until your ex is the one that feels like they need you.
You no longer have to say how badly you want to get back together because your ex partner will be the one naturally coming back to you and asking to begin your love story again.
Of course, the process isn’t going to be the same as it is in the movies, but the result will still be the same! You’re not going to see your ex rush through oncoming traffic, risking their life, to come swoop you up in their arms to passionately kiss you for 10 minutes in the rain…
But, you’re going to be new opportunity in which you will be able to move on from the errors of the past as well as from the separation.
If you want to radically reverse the course of action, I propose taking a moment to reflect on the situation so that you can better understand your ex’s expectations and therefore respond to them in the best and most natural way possible. The goal is to get inside your ex’s head and also to alter the “power struggle.”
I don’t like to use this term, but it’s important that you know that if you’re giving your ex all the power, or worse still, devaluing yourself when you’re in their presence, it’s going to be exceedingly hard for you to succeed in making them want you back.
If you want to avoid the biggest pitfalls of getting back together, I suggest that you keep reading and to not hesitate to leave a comment at the bottom at this article or to share it with your loved ones.
You have to understand your ex’s desires if you want to get a positive reaction from them!
Before I go into more detail about reverse psychology to get your ex back I think it’s important to take a moment to think about what your ex needs.
The characteristics that made your relationship unique are all factors will influence the actions you should set into motion: –
- The length of time you were together,
- Whether you two were distant or if one of you was suffocating the other,
- Whether or not you have children, and how many,
- If you had created a patchwork family,
- Whether or not you work together or if one of you didn’t do much or if one of you worked irregular hours
If you can design an efficient strategy then your ex will begin to let their walls down. As of now, your ex has one of two desires and it’s up to you to figure out which one it is.
They either want to reestablish the affinity that used to exist between you, or they want some space to breathe.
Your ex has one wish: to once again feel the affinity between you
Your ex can no longer take the negative aspects of what you’re experiencing right now; the outbursts and fights, and the conflicts that invade your everyday life.
If your ex has digested the breakup, if they are no longer expressing anger or sadness then you have an opportunity to immediately rebuild the affinity between you and it consequently it will be the central element of your attempt at getting back together.
Why is the affinity between you and your ex so important? It’s simply because it can help you to forget the errors of the past and once again find what was so unique in your relationship, what allowed you to slip away from everyday life and what proved to you both that you were, and still are, soul mates.
To do this, you have to make your ex laugh (or smile,) talk to them positively about your life and to make you both feel motivated and enthusiastic regarding a future together.
My ex needs space, how can I make an even stronger comeback?
Another possibility is that the relationship was really tough on your ex’s morale and that they had gone through a lot, so you’re going to have to (just for now) make some distance between you so that you can prepare your plan of action.
I know this sounds a little dramatic but believe me, I know from experience that your ex isn’t going to make it easy and that you’re going to have to be ready to face their resentments or provocations because communication is going to be difficult at first…
Under these circumstances, taking some distance also will allow you to show your ex that you’re perfectly capable of giving them space to breathe. In reality you’re also doing this so that you can make an even stronger comeback and to show them that you’ve made some serious changes.
Don’t forget that radio silence is also something that can help you alter things and avoid running after your ex. You’re going to get back in control of the situation!
Does reverse psychology to get your ex back work every time?
The answer is yes! All you have to really do is to use your common sense to get into your ex’s head so that you can understand what they want.
It will make getting a positive reaction from them so much easier. Here are some phrases that can help you to understand the situation. Once again, don’t just repeat my examples because you find them interesting; ask yourself if they’re appropriate in your situation and if they will get a good reaction from your ex.
“I know that you’re angry and that you don’t think that I can change, but my friends and family have already told me that they see that I’ve made improvements.” By using this example, not only are you identifying one of your ex’s walls, but you’re giving them an irrefutable reason to break it down: everyone has witnessed your evolution and your improvements.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, I was just blocked by my fear of doing something wrong. Have you ever felt that before?” Here, you’re putting emphasis on the fact that your ex has already felt what brought you to make your mistake and they can understand you (which makes it easier to forgive you.)
As you can see, the technique of reversed dependence isn’t a way to manipulate your ex! All it is is a new way to communicate; you get your message across but also make your ex start to think…
You should never try to lie to your ex or to play a role in this type of situation, because you the risks are high and you might fail at your attempt at making your ex want you back if you get mixed up.
An exercise for better understanding reversed dependence!
Instead of writing a long and complicated essay that would be hard to follow for people that aren’t familiar with techniques for using reverse psychology to get your ex back, I decided to explain it with a straight forward and relatively simple exercise.
So, if you really want to get your ex back, it will be necessary to find solutions regarding your all of your bad habits and ways to avoid making mistakes in the future.
So now that you know what you should avoid, go ahead and take a piece of paper and draw 2 columns. In the first one to the left, write the errors you may have made, the reproaches you got from your ex, things you didn’t do well, and habits that need to change. In the column on the right, write a solution to each problem that you can do to make things right.
It should involve your behavior and it should ensure that you will no longer continue making this mistake. This will serve as proof of what you’re willing to do.
Ideally you should begin with your biggest flaws and focus on your minor flaws once the biggest issues have already been addressed.
Your relationship expert,