How to get your wife back? An expert tells you the rules!

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How to make my wife love me again

How to get your wife back ? How to make your wife love you again? The feeling of losing someone you love is always difficult to bear, but it can be utterly and totally overwhelming if you were once married to this person. All those shared memories and experiences can keep flashing in your mind; and many people don’t know where to turn to for support and guidance to save marriage.

If you are still looking for it or wondering how to make my wife love me again you have come to the right place. We are a dedicated team of relationship experts with over 10,000 combined hours spent helping people just like you to get back with their significant other. In fact if you are serious about doing everything possible to make it work with your wife I would highly recommend that you consider private coaching sessions so that we can create the perfect road map for you and for what you are going through right now! It would be my pleasure to help… You can also find my 2 hour long self help audio program How To Get Her Back by clicking here.

I know how rough you are feeling right now, but I assure that you can make things right if you have the proper guidance and support. I know from experience that it is almost always possible to make things right and to get back into a long-term relationship with the one you love if you take the right approach.

I have coached individuals all across the world and have been confronted with different types of situations. I am a relationship expert who truly takes the time necessary to invest myself fully in my clients lives in order to help them come up with solutions for their real life relationship issues.

It’s important to realize that you are not the only one suffering; your wife is also having a really hard time coping with the looming separation or enacted divorce, no matter what she may be letting out. It is extremely important for you to take into account the fact that your partner is also in pain and there are at least two sides to every story. Throughout this article I will continue to provide you with some perspective and insights so that you are properly equipped to turn things around in no time!

Many people who reach out to me are coming out of long term relationships and even marriages that have derailed. I have developed a considerable experience helping people figure out how to get over a breakup and make things right in long term relationships. No matter what, this guide was developed to provide you with answers to your questions, and to serve as a framework for what you will need to do moving forward to get back with the woman you love, so read on!

My wife doesn’t love me and it breaks my heart

The feeling of realizing that it may be over for good, or ushering the words my wife doesn’t love me can be truly damaging for a man’s ego and self-esteem.

Just like most failures in life or when faced with adversity this realization of my wife left me can either make you fall into a negative spiral that often leads to depression; or it can be a huge wake up call and a catalyst of change.
So after a divorce or a breakup people can therefore either realize their mistakes and choose to prove to their ex that they can indeed change by working on themselves to become better partners, better human beings or they can choose to drown in their sorrows and do nothing.

Which road will you take?

Do you really want to make things right and save your relationship?

Because it is in fact possible to make your wife fall back in love with you, no matter what may have happened in the past. Many people reached out to me asking how to make my ex want me back, only to be in a committed relationship with that same person within a month or two!

It has been said that we are what we repeatedly do; and so your wife currently sees you based on your past actions. Change what you do and in turn change the way that she perceives you and make her fall back in love!
So in order to figure out how to make my wife love me again , you have to understand what exactly did you do (or not do) to get to this point?

Your wife did once love you; you were able to inspire her and in one way or another convince her that you could be happy together. So let’s make that happen again, shall we?

It is possible to fall in and out of love

Although it can be completely devastating to one day wake up to the realization that my wife doesn’t love me, it is pointless to mope or to feel sorry for yourself.

If your goal is to make her fall for you again or even to one day get back together if you’re already separated; you will need to quickly get back on your feet; and it’s by being active that you will ultimately be in the best possible position to inspire her again and to once again be appealing in her eyes!

If it can bring you some peace of mind, it is common for people to fall in and out of love with their significant other. You have affection for your partner and love them but sometimes people can get disillusioned by their relationship or simply frustrated by their current circumstances.

Sometimes the frustration that your partner is experiencing is not even related to what is going on in the relationship. It can be linked to an overall sense of unhappiness with their life in general, their work or even a mid-life crisis.
You just happen to be thrown into all of this mess, and she just can’t dissociate one thing from the other. This type of dynamic can be quite common especially in marriages.

After a while people have a tendency to stop putting effort into their relationship or neglecting their significant other. This leads your significant other to stop envisioning a future where they can be fulfilled and happy with you and so they decide to walk away from the marriage or the relationship.

How to make my wife love me again when all hope is lost:

Please understand that everyone has a tendency to see the glass half empty following a breakup or divorce. Your fears and insecurities take over and you imagine the worst possible outcome: never being with the person you love again. You keep thinking “I want my wife back ” but panic strikes and you feel almost paralyzed.

how to get your wife back

But most of the time, when people are provided with some perspective or coaching, they quickly come to realize that they haven’t tried everything possible to make things right.

Moreover, you will quickly start to feel empowered because you will gain a newfound perspective on your relationship.

When your marriage is ending, look in the mirror

Do you want answers? Do you want to know exactly how to win back your wife?

Then look in the mirror and ask yourself the right questions first. You will need to know where things went wrong in order to not make the same mistakes moving forward and to have a clear plan to make things right.
If you feel completely lost and don’t know where to start when your marriage is dying I would highly recommend that you read our eBook 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex.

It is the perfect tool to gain perspective and to feel empowered and confident that you can indeed turn it all around. This compilation of our best techniques and advice is the result of years and years of research helping people successfully get back with their significant others; it is downloadable immediately and it could change your life.

Remember, if your wife says she doesn’t love you, what she is most probably really telling you is that she is disillusioned and cannot envision a future in which you can be happy together! Prove her otherwise and watch her fall back in love with you as a result.

Even if she is angry, disappointed or even hurt if you’ve made mistakes she still has some sort of emotions for you. The key to making things work is to inspire her by once again becoming that man she fell in love with at the beginning of your relationship. This is instrumental in figuring out how to win your woman back

Initially, your sole focus should be on understanding where things went wrong, what caused her to be frustrated and disillusioned by your relationship; once you have identified your mistake you will be in prime position to prove to her over time and through targeted actions that you have evolved… and that you can indeed make your wife happy.

How to get your wife to love you again: Think Evolution

Your mindset can be your biggest ally or worst enemy in the process of figuring out how to get your wife back.

Like with most things in life, if you are convinced that you can achieve this goal, and if you have a clear plan with proper support along the way, you can absolutely get your wife back!

But if you lack self-confidence and feel that you are not good enough, you can create a false reality and never position yourself for success.

That’s why, when I speak to people during one on one coaching sessions, one of my initial goals is to ensure that I provide them with a full arsenal of everything that they have going for them; because it is so easy to be overly negative and to feel down about your present situation.

Having a renewed sense of hope and believing in yourself isn’t enough however. If you are hoping to get back with your partner permanently, you’ll need to figure out the real reasons behind the separation or divorce.

Here again most people feel that they know what went wrong, but most of the time people aren’t objective and still way too caught up with their own perspective and desires.

Don’t make that same mistake, put your ego aside and ensure that you dig deep to understand where you failed your wife and why you’ve now found yourself in a position of trying to learn how to get your ex wife back!

Take the long term view to truly winning your wife back

You’ll need to prepare yourself for a marathon since you don’t know where the finish line will be. Don’t cut corners or try to rush through the process of getting back together otherwise you run the risk of hitting a wall along the way and having to start over at square one.

It is essential that you come up with a game plan to ensure that your emotions won’t get the best of you along the way. Looking to get back with an ex can truly be an emotional rollercoaster, and if you don’t have a road map you run the risk of getting lost or deviating off course.

That’s one of the many reasons why I always put a lot of emphasis on developing a well crafted game plan when I coach people one on one. I understand the value and the need of knowing where you are going and the importance of being able to see the next steps; mentally it truly helps to do the work when you clearly know what comes next.
At this point, you should already start to have a renewed sense of hope!

You can do this with our marriage advice!

And you’ve already won her over before so the odds are that you can do it again if you transform back into the person that inspired her at the beginning of your relationship…while proving along the way that you’ve learned from your past mistakes and transgressions!

How to get your wife back if you’ve made big mistakes

she left me

If your relationship is on the brink or if you are going through a divorce, it probably means that you’ve made mistakes along the way. No matter how big those mistakes were, it’s never too late to turn things around and to evolve as a person and as a partner.

Your wife isn’t ready to forgive you, but it’s probably because you haven’t evolved yet.

She still has that same image of the old you stuck in her mind, and our goal is going to be to change that image by following a carefully crafted game plan that I will begin to highlight for you in a moment!

How to woo your wife back in love if she’s stubborn

Sometimes people reach out to me already defeated because they have really messed up. In these types of situations people often tell me, “Adrian if you think this is not salvageable and I have no chance to win her back please just let me know and put me out of my misery.”

The funny thing is that figuring out how to woo your wife back is often a question of mindset. As soon as I prove to these people that it is in fact possible once they have regained a sense of hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel; those same people are often some of the most successful in winning back the heart of their significant other!

I remember once coaching a very successful man who had been married for less than 2 years. He had completely neglected his wife and she was absolutely convinced that she never ever wanted to get back with him!

She moved out, gave back her wedding ring and was cold and distant every time he tried to reach out to her to express how sorry he was and how much he loved her. The breakup had indeed been a big wake up call for him and he quickly realized that he had been way too selfish and that he was controlling her with money.

Without even realizing it he constantly made her unappreciated, and he was living a life in pursuit of his dreams and not theirs. But despite his apology and promises his wife was simply too hurt and the damage had been done. So he reached out to me and we started working together; we later came to find out that she had met someone else and she was not being shy in telling her ex that she was in love and happy with her new boyfriend that she actually met towards the end of their relationship!

She fell in love with someone else because she had been completely neglected.

But this gentleman who reached out to me was very resilient, and we worked together for a few months and he eventually managed to win back his wife. Through carefully crafted actions that we set up together, consistency, and by being able to master his emotions, he proved to her that he was indeed capable of evolving!

She quickly left her rebound relationship and moved back with her husband and they have been happy together ever since.

This could happen to you too, if you are ready to do what it takes and not cut corners in your endeavor to prove to your ex fiancé or wife that you are the right man for her!

Winning back your wife: The importance of introspection

Again it’s truly never too late to make things right if you are prepared to take full accountability for your past transgressions.
By this point you are seriously looking into ways to save your relationship and you are constantly asking how to get my wife back; so it probably means that you are truly ready to do what it takes, but you’ll need to maintain this momentum along the way.

The process of getting back with your wife will require you to truly forgive yourself.

If you don’t, how can you expect her to forgive you?

This may not seem like that big of a deal to some of you, but for others it can be a real challenge.

Perhaps you cheated, or broke your wife’s trust for instance; or even worse if you abused your former partner emotionally or physically – and by the way I have a personal policy of not helping people who have made those types of mistakes unless they are truly and sincerely apologetic about what they did.

So if you find yourself in a similar situation you need to do even more self-reflection and ensure that you truly evolve to overcome your shortcomings.

Your ex will be even more skeptical about your ability to change so be prepared to put in the work for as long as it takes.

Be consistent and patient to make things right with your wife

Don’t make the mistake of trying to win her back too quickly or to make everything right in a single rendezvous. I understand your eagerness to be together again but if you try to move too quickly the odds are that you’ll keep digging even deeper and deeper because your change won’t be credible to her.

All that you will end up doing is triggering her defense mechanisms and her barriers will come right back up; you won’t recognize the person standing in front of you and she will remind you that you have absolutely no chance of getting back together – ever!

So instead of trying to rush things, focus on taking baby steps. Your key to proving that you have changed and that you can make your wife happy will be doing positive actions repeated consistently over time.

That is the surest way to permanently change the image that she has of you, and to ultimately create a new and improved relationship with your significant other! So don’t ever try to force the issue; forgiveness will need to happen based on her timetable. If you are sincere about your willingness to make things right – you’ll be patient.

Everything worth fighting for takes time and effort. If your relationship unraveled over years, it is simply not realistic to think that you can turn it all around in just a few days and that’s why you need marriage help.

Will my wife ever love me again if she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore?

So if you and your wife are on bad terms or even worse if she simply refuses to speak to you all together, don’t panic!
During a breakup or a separation people always get caught up in the present moment and are usually always extremely negative.

how to win my wife back

You have to force yourself to not be a prisoner of the moment and to gain some perspective to recognize that just because she may not want to speak with you now doesn’t mean that she won’t be open to communicating with you a few weeks down the road.

The biggest mistake that many people make is that they try to convince their wife or husband to get back with them immediately after a breakup or separation.

If your wife has told you that she doesn’t love you anymore you probably tried to make her feelings come back right away, all at once!

But you are not prepared to change her mind in this way; even worse is that you are probably acting without a plan or sense of direction. In other words you are acting based on your impulse and driven by your emotions.

So you may have begged, pleaded or even cried while trying to convince her to get back with you.

Unfortunately all that does is make you lose credibility and be even less appealing in her eyes!

So if your wife doesn’t want to speak with you don’t panic! Take some distance or even implement a radio silence (also known as the no contact rule), in order to provide both of you with some perspective on what’s really going on.
This will enable you to prepare your next actions or approach but also help you be more appealing in her eyes.

If you are able to work on yourself and go through a process of personal development while evolving in regards to some of the personality traits that your wife grew fed up with; she will be genuinely happy to hear from you again a few weeks down the road!

How to get my wife back if we’ve already divorced?

A divorce can have dramatic psychological effects on a person’s mental well-being. What was once done is formally undone and for many this process is especially painful because they are forced to fight tooth and nail about everything they once shared, with someone they loved.

Arguing over money, pets and even children can be very traumatic and often people are left scarred. But you need to understand that divorce is not an end in itself, because you still have an opportunity to make things right and to rewrite the ending to your love story.

If you are already separated and asking yourself how to make my wife love me again if you have already signed the divorce papers; understand that you can still turn everything around! Even years after a divorce you can make your wife love you again if you prove to her that you have changed and that you are once again the man that she always dreamed of being with!

I’ve seen it achieved countless times before, sometimes it takes a breakup or true separation to realize some of the mistakes that we have been making and to enter into a new dynamic. You most likely won’t be able to inspire your wife or make her fall back in love by trying to get back together; rather try to get into a new relationship with her, independent from the last one!

Learn from your mistake and approach the seduction process as if it were the first time.

If you feel the desire or need to be coached throughout this process in order to get the necessary support you need to meet your goal of getting back together, then reach out to us!

We will provide you with a game plan, specific actions to implement and support every step of the way! If you simply want to ask one question to a relationship expert, feel free to leave it in the comments section below; I will be sure to get back to you!

If you have gone through a divorce but are still hoping to make things work with your soul mate, then this section of my article is for you!

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A divorce doesn’t mean that you can’t make your wife come back

Divorce doesn’t have to be the end of the road. I’ve helped so many people win back their wives or husband after a divorce was consumed. As a matter of fact, relationships can tend to improve after a divorce because the ex wife or husband feels less threatened.

Once your ex partner officially has their independence back, they tend to be more approachable and generally won’t be so conflictive or defensive.

You may also start to believe that you have no other way to go but up and you won’t feel like you have something looming over your head. You can therefore be less up tight and quickly evolve back into a happier and more secure person!
I understand how tricky it can be to be forced into a divorce that you don’t want because I have helped men and women from all over the world who were in similar circumstances.

No matter what, in order to be successful in getting your ex wife back, you cannot see the divorce as an end in itself.
Remember that your mindset is so critical and if you feel completely defeated, odds are that you won’t be able to turn it all around.

I’m not saying this to give you hope, it really is true based on my experience in the field: Sometimes a relationship needs to fail or end in order for another one to flourish (even with the same person) !

How to get my wife back after a separation that I rejected

I am not into the business of selling quick fixes to the people who place their faith in me or those that reach out to me for a coaching session. I pride myself in always telling people the truth, at least the way that I see it.

And so I will stay true to myself here as well; if you are already divorced and hoping to get back with your ex wife, you’ll have to approach this as a long term process. Don’t focus on the end goal otherwise you could start to feel overwhelmed.

The key is to find joy in the actual journey of personal transformation and to embrace the process. Please realize that years of bad habits and trauma take a certain time to overcome.

But it is possible, and it could happen to you too if you are ready to do the work and if you are patient.

This process will be a lot more enjoyable and go a lot faster if you truly decide to embrace the journey. Ultimately you will start to regain some self esteem and start to believe more and more in your ability to prove to your ex that you can make her happy.

That’s when you’ll be in a prime position to reconnect with her. I recommend that you reach out in a non threatening way and centered around your shared values or the success of your children if you have any together.
You’ll need to continue to stay positive every time you interact with her and ensure that you avoid drama at all cost!

How to make your wife love you again if she’s met someone else

I need my wife back

Seeing the one we love date someone else can be excruciating, especially if that person was once your wife! But again this isn’t something that should overwhelm you if you’re confident in what you bring to the table and if know in your heart that this woman is the one that you want to be with long term.

Rebound type relationships happen all the time, especially for people coming out of long term committed relationships. Those people, including your ex wife, have to go through an adjustment period and are often time not truly ready to commit.

I always say that it’s very complicated to jump from one moving train to the next, and if you know what you’re doing – you can ensure that you take advantage of this dynamic.

Winning your wife back by controling your emotions and the urge to judge your ex’s new relationship!

The tendency is always to compare yourself to the new boyfriend or partner. Our insecurities can quickly take over and lead down a dark path. I want to put you in the best possible position to break away from this negative spiral so that you can win back your soul mate; so please follow my advice!

The first rule of thumb is to make sure that your don’t bring up the new relationship up ever when talking to your ex. By doing so you will only validate what they have going on, and probably appear bitter and resentful. Don’t give your ex that impression, and don’t make that mistake.

You too should put yourself back on the market quickly and try to meet someone new. This shouldn’t be done to spite your ex wife; it should only be done to mitigate the balance of power and be less of a threat to their new relationship.

I am not telling you to play with other people’s emotions; only encouraging you to put yourself back out there and that you stretch your comfort zone and meet new people.

Feeling like you can still seduce can go a long way towards restoring some self confidence in order to then be even more attractive once again to your ex.

Re-establish dialogue the right way with your ex wife

Once you are able to start talking with your ex wife, ensure that you leverage your shared history to make her laugh and prove that you are even more compatible. Your ex wife probably still loves you despite everything that has transpired.

It’s most likely not a question of love and emotions and more one geared towards trust and happiness. So through carefully targeted actions continue to prove to her that you are the one that is best suited to make her happy in the long run.

Slowly but surely you will start to become a threat to their new relationship and all you’ll have to do is sit back and let things play out! If you’ve followed my advice and don’t try to go too fast, reverse psychology will start to kick in and she’ll be the one making the first move when the time is right.

Wife left but believe in your ability to win her back because you are in control of your emotional destiny!

By this point I hope that you fully grasp the fact that you can rewrite the way your love story can unfold; as a reminder:

• Start working on yourself first, you’ll need to truly evolve to win her back

• Take the long term approach and don’t cut corners along the way

• Be consistent: the right actions, consistently repeated over time is the best way to prove that you have truly changed

I wanted to share the story of a man called David who reached out to me after his wife had left him for someone else. Not only had she met another man, but he had really handled the separation very poorly.

how do I get my wife back after separation

He even asked for his wedding ring back, and took back a bunch of gifts that he had bought her over the years.
He then regretted his actions and became extremely needy begging for her to take him back; and it’s at this point that he reached out to me by booking a one on one coaching session over the phone.

We worked together for five and half months and he was able to win back his wife after going through a deep process of personal transformation. Together we were able to put a carefully crafted game plan in place and ultimately prove to her that he had changed and that they could be happy together forever.

They are now together and happy!

This could be you, if you are in the right mindset and if you are prepared to put in the work. Whether you’re thinking My wife does not love me, or how to get my ex wife back, we are here to help and as long as you’re willing to make the effort, the odds of success are in your favor!

I believe in you and you can count on me for support through my blog articles and my YouTube videos.

Again, you can also reach out to me and book a coaching session if you feel that you need additional support or to simply maximize your chances of being with the woman you love once again!

I sincerely wish you all the very best in your quest to get your wife back and find permanent happiness in love.

From my heart to yours,


Personal Development Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert

198 Responses

  1. Hi,
    My wife and I have recently separ4ated and she is envovled with someone else. She has told me I love you but I’m not in love with you. I can’t stand the fact of this and I truly do love her I have done some impulsive things trying to get her back. However I’m sure it has pushed her further away. I know I’ve made mistakes in our marriage and am willing time fix them. But every time I try to talk to her she tells me to stop. Or its not a good time. We have 2 daughters that are 3 and 4. All I want is to be with my wife again. Is there any hope?

    1. Hello Steven,

      Thank you for sharing your story with us, we appreciate your trust! Yes there is hope for you to win back your wife once you are able to clearly understand what went wrong, start to evolve in a positive way and prove your change to her over time.

      Right now all the negativity that is coming your way is based on the past and an image that she has of you. Once we change this image, everything is possible. Realize that the fact that you have two kids together is a strong bond that you will share for life. If you are patient and truly put in the work, while also communicate with her in the right ways and at the right time — you can make her fall in love with you again!

      If you are still asking yourself “how to make my wife love me again” I highly recommend that you check out this free guide: or even better that you book a one on one coaching session with me to have no regrets!

      Either way I wish you a happy new year and all the best in your quest to be with the one you love.


  2. Hi Steven,

    i really feel for you. I’m going through a similar situation myself and it hurts like hell. I think it is possible to get her to come back, but it takes time and patience, and you need to show her you’ve changed. The best thing to do is make a plan and stick to it, work out why she fell in love with you in the first place and try to get her to remember. I really hope everything works out for you.

  3. hi
    my girlfriend of 24 years wants space so she has gone back to her parents house that was 4 weeks ago now she wants to split up with me.
    she as told me we have nothing in common anymore I just don’t know were she is coming from when I asked her about it she just puts a barrier between us I love her with all my heart and I know she feels the same I just think all this time apart her mind is telling her not to come home I think any help would be very kind

    1. Hey Mark,
      Thank you very much for reaching out. The best would be for us to speak over the phone or via skype during the course of a one on one coaching session. I will need to know a lot more about you and your relationship in order to advise you in the best possible way. I think that we have already touched via email, so don’t hesitate to reach out to book a session fast! I look forward to help you get back with the one you love!

  4. My wife of four years, we have been together for 11 years, has told me she doesn’t love me anymore and although she is willing tot ry marriage guidance counselling, she isn’t confident it will change things. We are still living in the same house and she has no immediate plans to leave our marital home.

    I just need a little advice on the best way forward.

    1. Hey Justin,
      It’s great that you are reaching out to me at this stage; you should feel relieved that your wife is willing to go the counselling route or that you do not feel the pressure of thinking that she could leave you at any point. Nevertheless now is the time to really change the course of your marriage, and I truly believe that I could help you achieve this goal, and inspire her to realize that you are the right man for her. Reading this article on “how to make my wife love me again” is a first step, but the best would be for us to speak over the phone during the course of a one to one coaching session.
      I sincerely hope to hear from you soon in order to help you in that regard.

  5. I have been with my fiancé for 4 years and due to get married next year. We have a daughter who is 1. We moved into a rented property last year and since then things have gone downhill. She has now told me she still loves me but has fallen out of love with me, and says she don’t think there is nothing I can do to change that. I have done impulsive things to try but probably made the situation worse. Also I have suffered with panic attacks since she told which is very embarrassing as she’s had to look after me through them. She is the love of my life and really want her to love me again like me she used to.

    1. Hey Andrew,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me; I salute you for facing your fears and looking for help! You have a few things going for you and the fact that she has stuck by you and is still looking after you is positive. I believe that I can help you win her back; it will eventually depend on your ability to work on yourself and evolve in terms of personal development. I would need to know a lot more about you and your relationship in order to advise you in the best possible way, so I urge you to book a coaching session soon in order for us to get started ASAP.
      Best of luck either way in your quest to make things right with your fiance.

  6. Hey Adrian I’m writing you from Ghana and I find your page very interesting and I would love to sign up but unfortunately I don’t know how. My girlfriend recently broke up with me and we’ve been together close to 3yrs although we are both still young but it was matured. I am Ghanaian and she is German and we met in Ghana when she was doing voluntarily services. I recently just visited her in Germany and she broke up with me 5 days before she was arriving and the reason is not very clear. I’ve done some crazy things but a week after she broke up I texted her and said I accepted the breakup and I wanted to apologize for any inappropriate behavior I put up during the break but I also told her I was scheduled to travel with someone to another town and that someone happens to be German and also a girl but she got so angry and called me over and over and over again saying hurtful things to me even to the extent of saying I blew up the only chance of getting back together and went ahead and blocked me on whatsapp and Instagram. Please get back to me asap. Thank you

    1. Hello Anwar,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me! You are in a complicated situation because of the fact that you apparently made quite a few mistake and in a long distance relationship. The most important element for you will be to quickly reestablish dialogue in the right way; even if you have been blocked on social media. I urge you to quickly book a coaching session with me via the following link in order for me to provide you with a tailored game plan and to shift the dynamic: ;
      I believe that I can help you make things right, so I hope to hear from you soon.
      All the best,

      1. Thanks for your response. Unfortunately I do not have a credit card since I’m in Ghana and I would really love to book a coaching if there’s another method of payment. Let me know what can be done. Thanks

        1. Hey Anwar, please provide me with your email address and I will email you another payment method! Looking forward to speaking with you!

  7. Hi Adrian i was married for two years,divorced in 2012,then we stayed together and i tried to reconcile but lately she seem to feel something else than love for me,we still stay together and i love her so much,but she has a hardened heart because of all the arguments and the bad things which was said beween us.How can i show her without pushing my luck that i love her and will do anything to save us and reconcile and restore to a marriage again,please help

    1. Hello Herman,
      Thank you for sharing your story!
      I would advise to start by writing a proper handwritten letter in order to start a new dynamic, a new beginning of sorts. You can find more info about how to write a perfect letter to an ex here:
      You shouldn’t expect everything to come back to normal after a single letter however; trust has been broken and heartache built up over several years, so it will take time and effort to fix your relationship…but it is possible!
      Your next step will be to prove your changes through actions and not words.
      I could help you come up with a solid game plan if you are committed to doing everything possible to make things right.
      The best would then be for you to book a coaching session with me in order for us to take the time to put a tailored game plan in place.
      I hope to hear from you soon, and wish you best of luck in your quest to find happiness in love.
      From my heart to yours,

  8. Hey Adrian my situation is unique I believe. Me and my wife where married for 21 years and I was diagnosed with MS 13 years ago and was put on an anti depressant within the last couple of years anyway the anti depressant I believe made me do stupid things and in April of last year I was arrested for shoplifting. Then I was suspended from my job. So I went and got another job and while I was in training for this job my wife got into an emotional affair with another man and when i found out about the affair she immediate divorced me and moved in with this guy soon after serving me papers.
    keep in mind that we had 3 children together and she moved them to stay with her parents while she stayed off and on with her affair, which I believe hurt my boys seeing that!! Anyway I constantly to this day been almost a year now and I still send her messages telling her that I love her and miss her which I know is against all advice.
    My friends tell me that my arrest is no reason for divorce that there must of been other issues but she never told me in anyway that she was unhappy over the years all she could tell me was that she was not strong enough to tell me. Also she filed an ex parte against me because I would not stop texting her and also I went into her mom and dads house without permission but I had been going in and out of that house for years so I thought mothing of it.
    My MS could be a factor in her decision as it kept me unproductive in our marriage and maybe she felt like if I got worse she did not want to take care of me I don’t know!!
    So do I have any hope in getting her to realize her mistake of dismantling our fAmily?

    1. Hey Roger,
      Thank you for sharing your story with. It does appear that you need to undergo a process of personal development first and foremost in order to be in the best possible position to win her back. The fact that you were married for 21 years and that you have 3 kids together does indicate that you have a significant history that we will need to sort through together before engaging directly with her! I would love to help, so if you are committed to doing everything possible to win her back and you are ready to be patient and put in the work, please book a coaching session with me in order for us to get to work!
      I wish you all the very best and hope to hear from you soon.

  9. HI, My wife is a repeat cheater, she says she loves me but has not been IN love with me for some years. She has ‘fallen’ in Love with a Girl. (I know, just bear with me) and we have separated. We have a 9 month old child and we still live together. I am a good husband and farther but my wife says it feels fabricated and that nothing feels new or exiting. I love her with all my heart and I am going to fight for her! But I don’t want to push her further away. I know she once loved me like I love her but that seems to be gone. I want to start over and win her back but have no idea where to start.

    1. Hey Felix,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me and apologies for the delay in getting back to you; I have to prioritize coaching requests before addressing comments.
      Anyways, I feel for you and what you are going through. You seem like a good guy, trying to do the right thing and preserve your family.
      I want to help you! and I know that I can help you maximize your chances of winning her back.
      I will need to know a lot more about you, your ex and the dynamics of your relationship in order to advise you in the best possible way!
      Please book a coaching session with me so that I can understand the true issues faced and provide you with a plan to make things right.
      I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
      From my heart to yours,

  10. Hi adrian, please help! Me and my longterm girlfriend of 9 years recently broke up, ive known her my whole life since age of 12, weve always had a special bond i thought was unbreakable.i have never cheated or abused her, but i havent always been there emotionally, and havent always listened to her feelings, and treated her like the princess she is and put her first. She has recently told me she needs space and wants me to move out, and that she isnt in love with me anymore .we have two kids together and this caught me way off gaurd and broke my heart…i never thought this would happen to us….i never knew she hurt this bad, i promise her change but she doesnt believe me..i dont want to lose her she is the love of my life
    Thank you

    1. Hey Matt,
      Please reach out to me ASAP (by booking a coaching session) in order for us to get started working together right away before more mistakes are made!
      Please do not beg, plea or put her on a pedestal in the coming days, resist that urge no matter what your instincts tell you.
      I have helped countless people who were in similar circumstances and sincerely believe that I can help you too once I understand the full scope of your relationship.
      I hope that you will book a coaching session soon!
      From my heart to yours,

  11. Hi Coach Adrian!
    I badly need your help. My wife of 6 years recently told me she’s no longer in love with me and wants to move on taking care of our kids and me completely out of the house. She mentioned she needs to be whole again and wants me to be there when that happened. Its hard for me to move on since I live, breathe and eat with her and my family for the entire 6 years and cant imagine a life without them in the future. She wants space and doesn’t want to talk to me, worse, she’s been drinking after work and stay at a near drinking place for 6 hours or so after her shift. This drives me nuts. as much as I wanted to move on, me dealing with all her irresponsible act keeps haunting me and trying to hold back from leaving. I love her and will do anything to win her back. She came from a broken family and I promised her that wont happen EVER to her own. I have my misses too, LOTS of them ( drinking with friends etc.. but have never cheat ) but I always have time for her and my family even if it means getting off from work early just to be with them. I love my wife and I pray to god everyday for her heart to soften and finally
    win her back. What should I do?

    1. Hey Terence,
      The best would be for you to book a coaching session with me in order for us to dive deep into the real issues that have plagued your relationship. This situation is too complex to be addressed in the comments section here, without me being able to get the full scope in order to advise you in the best possible way.
      I sincerely hope that you will book a coaching session soon in order to enable us to get started and work together right away in order to make things right.
      From my heart to yours,

  12. Hi Adrian. I just came across your post and it really inspired me. My wife and I have been married since 2009. We had dated before in 2007 but she has just gone through a breakup with the father of her first child so it was too much at the time. But even after the breakup we always had a GREAT friendship, and maybe even some deeper feelings for each other. Fast forward to 09. I had been in the army for almost a year and went home to visit. During the visit we met up and spent some time together and it was awesome. After going back to base I realised that she was the one I wanted. But due to the restrictions placed by the army, I couldn’t just go see her whenever I wanted. So I called her one night and flat out told her “you should let me marry you.” And guess what, it worked! I moved her to where I was stationed, we moved in together and got married quick. Children also came quick after. But even though everything happened quick, we had a good relationship! Until I stopped putting in effort. After years of her telling me things I need to change, and me failing to do so, she has finally had enough. The fights got worse every time until she finally decided she wanted to split. At first I made the mistake of trying to make her fall right back in love with me by crying to her and promising to finally change. It didn’t work. So after some simple research I decided to stop trying to win her back, but instead work on myself. The last few days I’ve been getting more sleep, exercising more, working more and just overall being more cheerful around her. Not to mention I finally quit smoking weed so I can land a better job. Now I’m at the point where I don’t know if my efforts are working the way I want them to, or if she’s just seeing it as me getting over her. Which is not the case!!!! Please help, I love this woman with every fiber of my being and am willing to do whatever it takes to win her back.

    1. Hey Billy,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me, and sorry it took so long to get back to you…I was in the middle of a seminar that I was hosting.
      Congrats for everything that you’ve already been able to do! You are definitely heading in the right direction and you have finally taken the right approach.
      I believe that you can win back her love, and I would love to accompany you every step of the way to ensure that you do so.
      I therefore encourage you to book a coaching session with in order for us to work together and for me to guide you trough every step to maximize your chances of being in a new stable relationship with this woman you love so much.
      I sincerely hope to hear from you soon in order for us to dive deeper into the process.

  13. Hi Adrian. I just came across your post and it really inspired me. My wife and I have been married since 2009. We had dated before in 2007 but she has just gone through a breakup with the father of her first child so it was too much at the time. But even after the breakup we always had a GREAT friendship, and maybe even some deeper feelings for each other. Fast forward to 09. I had been in the army for almost a year and went home to visit. During the visit we met up and spent some time together and it was awesome. After going back to base I realised that she was the one I wanted. But due to the restrictions placed by the army, I couldn’t just go see her whenever I wanted. So I called her one night and flat out told her “you should let me marry you.” And guess what, it worked! I moved her to where I was stationed, we moved in together and got married quick. Children also came quick after. But even though everything happened quick, we had a good relationship! Until I stopped putting in effort. After years of her telling me things I need to change, and me failing to do so, she has finally had enough. The fights got worse every time until she finally decided she wanted to split. At first I made the mistake of trying to make her fall right back in love with me by crying to her and promising to finally change. It didn’t work. So after some simple research I decided to stop trying to win her back, but instead work on myself. The last few days I’ve been getting more sleep, exercising more, working more and just overall being more cheerful around her. Not to mention I finally quit smoking weed so I can land a better job. Now I’m at the point where I don’t know if my efforts are working the way I want them to, or if she’s just seeing it as me getting over her. Which is not the case!!!! Please help, I love this woman with every fiber of my being and am willing to do whatever it takes to win her back.

  14. sorry but I had to take it down hence I do not want her to see what i’m up to in order to still have a chance with her.

    1. Hey Karl,
      Thank you for sharing your story!
      I do think that it is still possible to win her back now that you have opened your eyes and understand that you need to evolve as a person. She is showing signs that she still cares about you (like doing your laundry for instance) and the fact that you can still hang out, be civil and actually have a good time is very promising!!
      You are at the stage now where things could quickly get better or worse, so you’ll really need to control your emotions and not push her away.
      I think that the trip to France could work in your favor. If you are able to convince her (in the right way, not by begging or being needy) that you should also go with her, we could really use this opportunity to showcase your change and prove to her that you can in fact make her happy!
      I would love to help you in your quest to make things right with the woman you love, so don’t hesitate to book a coaching session with me in order for us to get started working together right away.
      All the very best,

      1. Hi Adrian, thank you so much for your warm words and it really gives me energy to work on myself. I really hope things will work out and I will give my everything.


        1. You need to give her space and time to start to miss you and to look forward to seeing you… You need to use this time to work on yourself and to continue to evolve. Plus you need a break from each other in order to prove that your evolution is real.
          Good luck!

      2. one more thing. do you think it best not having contact with her for a while or shall I stay in touch with her? This is really bothering me and I hope you can answer my question too, Adrian. Thank you so so so much for advice 🙂

  15. So my ex and I have been broken up for 7 months now but we were together for 6 years before that and we have a 4 year old son together. In the past 7 months he’s had a girlfriend and now he’s wooing his old bestfriend even though she screwed off for 5 years and didn’t say a word to him. Through all this we still hang out and partake in “family like” time together with our son and were also partaking in bedroom activities. He’s the love of my life. I just want our family back. It kills me when my son asks us if we’re a family or when we’re gonna be a family. We both miss him so much. The only explanation he’s given me is that he’s “unhappy” but we don’t do anything but have fun and laugh when we are together. Is there anything you can enlighten me with to get him back?

    1. Hey Trisha,
      I believe that I answered a similar comment of yours on another one of my articles…Book a coaching session so that we can work together and turn this around!

  16. I’m honestly not sure if my case is hopeful or not. My wife and I have dated all through highschool and got married about a year and a half ago, early March she cheated on me with a guy she had been building an emotional connection with. I’d been neglecting her because of work and we’d been fighting so much we actually avoided going home because we knew we would just argue.

    She said she wants a divorce, I’ve moved out, and after weeks of on and off communication she has been telling me she believes that we’re toxic for each other and that’s why she wants a divorce. She thinks she brings out the worst in me, which isn’t true in the slightest. She dai’s she don’t think she will ever have romanctic feelings for me again and is casually seeing the guy she cheated on me with. Every time we do text in very afraid I will say something to push her away, I don’t want to get divorced, but she’s set, she says it’s just a matter of time until she can afford to file.

    What can I do?

    1. Hey Bobbi,
      Thank you for your trust.
      I understand how defeated you must feel at the moment, and that’s why I am happy to tell you that despite everything that has transpired it is probably still possible to win her back.
      I can say this confidently because most of the issues that you faced in your relationship seem to be within your realm of control; by that I mean that you have the power to change certain habits and behaviors that will in turn change the way that she perceives you.
      You shouldn’t try to win her back right away; instead you should focus on going through a process of personal growth and transformation in order to prove to her that you can make her happy.
      I believe that I could help you through it all, so please reach out to me by booking a coaching session in order for us to start to work together quickly.

        1. Happy to provide you with some perspective and hope.
          I’ll be here for you if and when need be!

          1. What if she believes her feelings will never change? She said she can’t trust me anymore and feels like she’s walking on egg shells… Should I give up?

          2. It’s normal that she would believe that because she hasn’t seen you evolve yet; once you do, so will the way she feels about you and a potential relationship.

  17. Hi there

    This is really hard for me. The last 6 months have been the most horrendous i could of ever imagined. I have been with my wife for 17 years and married for 4 years. She is my world. In December she told me she was unhappy. I wont go into details but lets just say i let my wife down and had not listened to all the warnings she had given me. We agreed to try which was great in January but i felt all was not right. I knew something was wrong. I made many changes to my lifestyle etc. I love my wife and the thought of losing her was driving me crazy. She never really wanted to discuss things and when i did i pushed her away further. The thing is we do have some great times together. In April i discovered some notes on her phone which were for a male friend at work. It looked to me as though they were involved although she denied this and said they were close emotionally. She admitted they had a brief kiss and that was it. I trust her when she says this as well but i still found it hard to take it. We agreed keep trying and working at things. In May i discovered something else and she admitted she had been in self destruct mode. She really focused. We have been moving forward since then. I do have a problem of pushing her which at times i cannot help. To hear your wife say she loves you but her feelings are not the same is very hard to deal with. It makes me feel so low and that i am not good enough for her. I keep questioning myself what can i do to change this ? Do i turn her on etc ? My mind is constantly active as to what i can do. She says things are good and that we are going in the right direction. I need to stop asking if these feelings have come back. She has said there is no time limit on things. A few days ago i got a message on Facebook anonymously saying things about my wife at work. There is not any truth in what they say but she is hurt as i am. I want to be to support her but i push her away if we talk. I trust my wife and i just want the both of us to come through this. I do not understand why my mind can be so negative at times worrying that she will leave me, when she has said we will get through this. Its like i need constant reassurance from her which does her head in ! To be honest I know i caused all the problems to start with so i deserve it i guess. If only i had listened to her warnings then maybe I would not be writing this load of waffle now. Right back to being positive !!

    1. Hey Nick,
      Thanks for sharing your story, I am really moved.
      Please reach out to me quick, let’s work together…I can sincerely help you turn this whole thing around and help you reinvent your relationship and make you wife fall in love with you all over again.
      You really are in self destruct mode at the moment, if you continue down this path you insecurities will only continue to push her further and further away. You’ll need to go through a thorough process of personal development, and together we can also figure out strong actions to erase some of the negative behaviors that have plagued your relationship.
      It’s not too late…Let’s work together!
      Hope to hear from you soon, so that we can get started.

  18. I have been with my girlfriend for 9 years, we have two kids and are common law marriage, so I call her my wife. We have always had a very emotional relationship, hot, cold, together, broke up. I get in ruts and forget to take care of my wife emotionally, she is very very emotional, lovey dovey. She is absolutely the nicest person I know. We had been broken up but living together for a few months and had a huge fight last Saturday when I asked her to leave, and she did. She is now staying with a friend of hers, a male. It devastated me in a way I never knew it could. I have tried everything I can to pull her back in but it just seems to push her away. I really think in my mind that there not sleeping together but I know she cares about him. She has put up her walls and told me she will never love again, never let someone inside to be able to hurt her again. The sad part is this happened last year, I worked and got her back and fell threw on my promises, I worked my ass off to get invited to the big game and just set there thinking I had won by getting her back. A few months ago she begged me to go to therapy, I told she was crazy and needed therapy but not me,??. What kind of husban or man does that?? I feel lost now, I’m starting therapy Monday to work on myself, I see my faults and have a disire to fix them to be able to live a happier life, please any help or advice would be much appreciated

  19. Hey my name is carlos g
    My wife n i just recently split up from my wife of 4 years .I seem to always have a bad way to talk that she never liked n in the bigenning of our relationship she already had two kids witch it only made our relation ship harder because of the kids fathers. I have always provided for her n the kids but than again i kinda always mistreated them ether by being distance or mean. We also have another kid together, i had recently admited on all my wrongs n i have been working on my self for longer than a month n anytime we speak she always telling me that she doesnt feel anything for me n that maybe down the line we can probably try again.she also said that she can see that i live her but my problem is that i havent showed her all the time .i recently found out she was talking to another man. What can i do from here?am i gonna be able to save this or should i just move on ? I love her with everything in my heart

    1. Hey Carlos,
      I need more information about the current dynamic and interactions in order to provide you with tailored advice.
      However the fact that you have a child together should help extend the potential window to get her back, even if she is talking to another man. Understanding what went wrong is crucial to turning it all around, so congratulations for that. However, make sure that you don’t become too needy and put her on a pedestal as a means to try to make up for your mistakes.
      Book a coaching session in order for us to go into more details.

  20. Hey Chad,
    I’m touched by your story and want to help you win her back permanently.
    You already know that it starts and ends with your capacity to evolve and go through a true process of personal transformation.
    Let me help you turn it around, book a session in order for us to start to work together quickly.
    From my heart to yours,

  21. Ok so here’s where it all went wrong. This has been a complete and total screw up on my behalf. In the beginning of our relationship, we both were unfaithful numerous times, but we always worked it out and got back together after time. Unfortunately I could never get over the thoughts of her sleeping with another man, and it ate at me for our entire 6 year relationship and every time we would argue, I would throw it in her face and just be mean. A year ago next month my wife and I had our second child, unfortunately our child passed shortly after birth. I have spent the last year of my life in pain and in depression, in turn I would take it out on my wife who is the nicest person I have ever met. She has been so supportive of me and everything I have been going through I just shut her out. Two weeks ago I decided I was going to leave and go home to my moms to work on myself and let this depression and everything go that I have been dealing with, and she and our son would move to her aunts and she would do the same thing. Since doing so we have barely talked, she won’t say anything about having feelings for me anymore or having any type of interest in me what so ever. This has been the dumbest decision I have ever made, I love my wife unconditionally and I was to blind due to my own transgressions to see it. Do I have any hope left in getting her back and getting back on a positive track with her? Please help.


    1. Hey Doug,
      Sorry it took so long to get back to you, I’ve been busy with coaching session that I must prioritize. However I want to help you, and was really touched by your story.
      Let me know how things have evolved in order for me to advise you appropriately.
      Ideally we work together during a coaching session in order for me to provide you with long lasting solutions to fix the deep rooted issues in your relationship.

  22. I am married to my beautiful wife for 10 years; we’ve been together for 16. We have 3 children. I have not been helping out around the house as much as she’s needed me to, and I have been avoiding family functions/”hanging out” with my wife w/friends, etc. Unknown to me (of course) she had been losing feelings for me over the span of some months. When she told me that she loved me, but not IN love with me, I was devastated. She told me that she wants a divorce, and at this point is not interested in reconciling or counselling. She has NOT ruled out reconciling in the future. I do not want to lose my wife. I hate when I’m not with her and she is the first person I want to share everything with. I want to be the person she wants in her life. Any advice?

    1. Hey Lance, please reach out to me in order for us to work together and prove that you have truly changed and that you can now make her happy.
      I hope to speak to you soon during the course of a one on one coaching session.

  23. I have been with my wife for 8 years and married for 5. We had a daughter and our marriage seem like it was amazing. 2 years ago I found out my daughter wasn’t mine and that she had lied to me. I saw other women and did cheat on her because I fell betray with what she had done to me. Little by little I realize I don’t wanna lose my family that I invested in and I figured out that I am still in love with my wife and I don’t wanna lose her. She recently found out about the cheating and me talking to other women and told me she was fed up and she was done with the marriage. We still live together and occasionally have sex, but she still wants to separate and I don’t want that. Please help me and guide me so I can keep my family intact

    1. Hey Erick,
      Obviously the issue here is one that revolves around trust. I think that I can help you restore the peace and regain each other’s trust. Reach out to me and book a coaching session in order for us to work together.
      Looking forward to helping you meet your goals.

  24. This has happened within the span of a few days where my wife has lost all intrest it seems in being married. We got married because of my daughter being conceived and it would have been more beneficial however the last three years have been harder on the both of us, fighting, yelling and things of the sort. Recently she told me that my three year old daughter may not be mine and that broke me what’s worse is that she spoke to the other man she thought was her father in order to get a DNA test I found this out and may have over reacted calling her names, she said she was feed up and wanted nothing to do with me that our her love for me is gone and that she wants a divorce. However she is willing to seek help in marriage therapy, and says she is willing to get divorce and perhaps start from square one as us dating to maybe restart that love or so I understand…what am asking is for help a game plan I want my family to stay together and I want my wife to love me the way I love her

    1. Hey Santiago,
      Reach out to me, book a coaching session and I will provide you with a game plan to win her back permanently.
      Looking forward to helping you.

  25. My wife and I have been separated for over nine months I still love her I’m still in love with her she ended up moving in with his other guy that she worked with who had feelings for her and now she’s actually involved with him since she’s left I’ve been nothing but a rack I’m going to counseling my confidence and self-esteem at an all-time low some of the stuff she’s done has just cause my emotions my reactions just spiral out of control I’ve never gotten to the point where I’ve gotten physical but I just get so upset I can’t stop crying and I want nothing more than to try to win her back I know she got the divorce papers and I know they’re just actually sitting in her house now for over a month this whole time she said to family and friends especially to my mother and her mother that she doesn’t want to divorce we don’t really talk and less it’s in a text message about our daughter the hardest part for me is knowing that she’s dating someone else right now we’re going married 13 years at the end of August we’ve been together for 15 years and actual friends for 19 years and I just keep hoping that there’s someway I can win her back but I literally have no confidence whatsoever I know some of the things I’ve done in the past I’ve heard are my priorities are messed up I put stupid things ahead of stuff that was more important and I would give any thing to try to win her back and I just think that because I have never been served with the divorce papers yet but somewhere in Hearst inside he thing to try to win her back and I just think that because I have never been served with the divorce papers yet but somewhere inside her still the woman that might actually love me I just don’t know what to do anymore and how to try to convince her that we can get through this

  26. My wife and i have 3 children and have been together for about 13 years. I have treated her poorly and we have been at the point of breaking up before and i have made promises to change but have failed in doing so. Now she tells me she isn’t in love with me anymore. I have finally got myself on the path to being a better man but she doesn’t believe that it will continue with it long term. How can i get her to give me a chance. I adore her and am 100% committed to being a new man. She is a stubborn girl and has convinced herself to not get herself in a position to get her heart broken again.

    1. Hey!
      Thanks for sharing your story. The key for you will be to prove to her that you have changed through actions and not through words. You will have to keep your emotions in check and not over compensate otherwise you will completely push her away.
      I would love to help, book a coaching session in order for us to create a tailored game plan for you.

  27. Hey Joshua,
    I have helped many people who were already divorced. The key is for you to not panic or try to make everything better all at once. You have to approach this process with resolve and prepared to go the distance…as if you were running a marathon.
    I am here to help if need be, just reach out and book a coaching session in order for us to get started!
    All the best,

  28. Hey Adrian I have been with my wife for 8 years. She has a daughter that is 11 and was 3 when we met. On top of that we have a 4 year old son. Things were unbelievable through the first 5 years of our relationship and we were engaged a year into it and married after 3. Neither one of us had ever met someone like each other and were as happy as could possibly be. 2 and a half years into our marriage things happened and the construction industry wasn’t doing to well and we were having serious money problems. 20 months ago she told me that I needed to move out so she could reevaluate our situation. We were still seeing each other the whole time and our sex life has been amazing for the both of us the entire time we’ve been together but money was still a huge issue. I would try so hard to take care of my family and thought things were getting better and she would push me away. This happened quite a few times and she finally told me she wanted a divorce. We are actually still legally married but a few months ago she told me we should start seeing other people which broke my heart. She recently found out that I was seeing someone and said it didn’t bother her yet she called the other night in tears because of it. I told her I’m never going to stop trying to get my family back and sometimes she seems to want it and other times she doesn’t. I need help to make things good again. There were other factors involved but they’re very personal and I’d rather tell you about em in private. Please help me reconnect with her. She is everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner and mother to my children. Thank you in advance for anything you can help me with.

    1. Than you for reaching out and sharing your story.
      Please book a coaching session in order for us to work together and turn this around for good. She is conflicted because you are making it too easy…she knows how much you can and love her so she has no incentive to take you back. By dating someone else, she was exposed to the fear of loss and realized that she loves you, but you can’t wear your emotions on your sleeve like this. By helping you refocus and providing you with a solid game plan I think we can turn things around if you are patient.
      I hope to hear from you soon.

  29. Hi Adrian me and my spouse been together for 6 years now. We don’t have any kids together but we both have children from our prior relationship. We both help each other raise our kids. We were deeply inlove and for the last 2 1/2 years things just started going really bad between us. He accused me of cheating and lying. But it turned out that he was the one lying and cheating on me. He recently told me he he doesn’t love me the way he did. It hurt so much hearing those words come out the mouth of the man I’m inlove with. I willing to do what ever it takes to show him how to fall back in love with me. I’m not ready to let go of him. Thru all his lies and cheating I know that man I fell in love with is still within him. I don’t know where to start.

    1. Hey Leslie,
      I want to help you win him back, so please reach out to me and book a coaching session in order for us to work together.
      You will need to value yourself and to be strong. If you accept the cheating and lying and also chase him to stay together you will lose complete control of the power struggle. Even if you convince him to take you back, he will know that he can get away with anything and you would expose yourself and constantly be insecure.
      We need to make him chase you…
      Hope to hear from you soon,

  30. hello Adrian my name is terry my wife and I recently seperated after 8 years we have 2 boys together 6 & 1 she told me one morning that she loves me but shes not in love with me anymore my heart was instantly broken she said because she could not trust me anymore because i hid the the fact that i was on drugs which i’m not denying i asked her to please give me a chance to earn that trust back she said no i dont think i ever could because i’m not the old terry anymore so i left the crazy part is that she lives with 2 of my brothers that are best friends to her of course we try to be civil with eachother cause of our kids she said i need to focus on my kids and myself and get my s@#t together the next day i got a job with servpro we the money is great for the kids and i but i think her staying with my brothers does not give her a chance to think im at home alone were she is always in the back of mind
    i have been clean for quite sometime now great job and good father it seems to have no affect on her at all she tells me dont worry i’ll find someone else and i say i dont want anyone else she is the love of my life and everyday with out her kills me i just dont no what to do anymore.

    1. Hey Terri, I really want to help you win you wife back.
      Please book a session in order for us to work together.

  31. Hey team, I was with my ex girlfriend for 8years and we have two children together, we both used drugs. (Me more frequent then her). In our relationship I was to caught up in trying to provide for my family, my stress, drug abuse, insecurity and fear. That I failed to ever make the effort to spend time with my family, her or my children. I failed to support her through her hardships of motherhood and her emotional needs. I always failed to listen and brushed off her concerns in our relationship, i dismissed her feelings, i failed to be assertive in fear it would push us apart and even failed to change after promising that I would. She has gave me so many chances and I have failed to validate what she asked. I feel that she never respected me or appreciated me to which she claims was because I never gave it to her. I cant remember alot of the discussions we had due to my drug abuse and she claims I always put my emotional needs over hers… At this point after reviewing numerous advise sites and videos I feel that I have completely pushed the person I love away forever. Not just by my original actions but by my actions after the separation. When we first separated she told me that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me. She said that we had grown apart and that I had failed to grown up at all. She didnt know who i was, that she didnt trust me, She told me that I was holding her back, she was not attracted to me and that I was not the type of person she wanted to be with, that it is none of my business what she does and who she spends time with (although she declares she is not seeing anyone else) and that we create a negative environment together and for the sake of our children we would have to separate. Me trying to be a decent man moved out obeying her wishes and took absolutely nothing. In the 3mths we have been apart I have been an emotional mess. Due to her being my first real love and the mother of my children as well as her hurtful words, i have done all the wrong things and the things that are advised not to do, I have been to caught up on my pain, insecurity and fears and expressed many of these feelings to my ex. All of this has led to her feeling that I am a selfish, depressive, oppressive, dishonest, disrespectful, immature, needy, desperate, manipulative, self-loathing, obsessive, pessimistic fool. And that I always put my emotional needs over hers. I have even pushed it to the point of her thinking im crazy and threatening a restraining order by consistently not giving her space and constantly pressuring her and begging her to take me back every time I was contact with her to see our children, I have shown her my vulnerability, weakness and led her to believe im not a man at all. Also in this time I have now changed my appearance, stopped using drugs, (unfortunately i still smoke tobacco) found a new house, spending more time with my children, i have had excessive time off work and im contemplating getting a new job. I have been decent and not made it hard on her. And she now feels that because of the separation everything is better and everyone is happier. She admits that she is being selfish. She still uses drugs and she uses my love and responsibility for my children as a tool. She now tells me that she never wants to be in a relationship with me, she doesn’t love me and has no feelings for me but regret. She thinks my drug abuse damaged my brain and that im bipolar and crazy. She tells me to move on and encourages me to see other people. Did I completely ruin my chances altogether? or can I somehow better this situation? I am still completely in love with her and admit that i took them for granted hung up on work and my own issues… If you feel u can help in anyway so i can redeem this please let me know otherwise just say if its a waste of your time and mine…

  32. Hey all

    I am in a similar situation on here been together with my wife for 13 years and married for over 1 year. We both have 2 daughters together. Long story short I was trying to provide my family with the life I never had so I started a construction company which in turn went 5 years of major ups and downs. With my wife and I constantly arguing and stressing about money and how were going to pay bills rent etc over the past few months I guess she’s been thinking it’s over. We took a trip together with our kids and we argued over pointless stuff as apparently I found out and am fixing it myself (as i have realized things on my own) I get frustrated, angry and pick fights over the stupidest things, even when it comes to the past of wanting sex and she didn’t I got frustrated and angry over this, stupid yes it was. Sorry got off topic a bit of a squirrel moment lol. But to go back we have lived where I wanted to for the past 7 years and she has wanted to move back home and I didn’t. Few weeks ago when we were down there in British Columbia I had realized what’s she’s been wanting and how selfish I have been so had come to realize I want to give her what she was talking now. We got back home to alberta as we were going to discuss compromising on the situations, and that night I was going to surprise her with the news she drops the ball of I don’t have feelings for you like I did. I’m not in love with you anymore and want to separate and me being who I am automatically went into save my marriage mode and tried to convince her not to leave me. We still had to live together for the week after so it was me constantly wanting to talk about this and wanting us to stay together. She kept getting frustrated with me saying she doesn’t want to talk she has heard me out and she just wants space. Well relentless me didn’t take it well so I began to do some nice gestures after 2 days I went bought her her favorite chocolate a card where I said morecof what u had to say in a romantic way kinda like a poem and some flowers. Got home and asked her to go to my truck and look and got her to play the please forgive me song by Brian adams ( cheesy maybe in love with her definitely she told me it was sweet and kinda had a second thought of maybe we just need a break go to find out she was just feeling a little sorry for me. Anyways as the rest of the week went on there was 2cnights of a little massage and a little cuddling and sex. Don’t mean to get to into it but when she mentioned about doing it she said it was for me because I have needs and she doesn’t want me to think anything more about it. Moving forward we are now in BC I’m staying at a buddies place and she is staying at her mom’s with our kids. I went a few days with not really texting her or calling she made the first moves on this. Her texting or calling me wasn’t really about the girls at times. I am trying to give her, her space and time to think things over but I’m worries that she will find herself another guy which in turn another relationship. I want to be together, she doesn’t. We had gone out twice this week since we moved alone together and I have not mentioned anything about our relationship and getting back together, just trying to show her I am changing everyday. Sorry I am all over the place I have never written one of these before but to kind of wrap it up looking for some advice on this and If I should once in a while ask her to go for coffee or a walk or whatever to prove myself and try to save our marriage. Or with the whole speal I gave what are your thoughts and has anyone been in a similar situation and had their marriage survive. I don’t know if I’m looking into things to much but when she’s texting me randomly telling me stuff or asking me stuff and willing to go out with me, to me she still has those feelings I don’t know. Looking for some advice or anything. Thanks in advance and sorry for being all over the place on here lol.

    1. Hey Kevin,
      Thanks for sharing your story.
      If you want tailored feedback and analysis the best would be for you to book a session in order for us to work together.

  33. I am in some marriage trouble right now. My name is Kevin. I first met my wife when I was 16 & she was 14. We started dating when she was 15 & I was 17. We had a daughter a little over a year later. We’ve had our ups and downs since. We now have 5 beautiful children youngest is 4 & oldest is 12. We married August 24, 2014. Towards the end of July we started arguing. I missed her because we were both working heavy hours around this time. I started getting upset with her for no reason because I felt I missed her more than her to me when all she wanted was me to go to her. We argued almost everyday over dumb things. Because I started overthinking & overreacting to everything. I felt guilty for getting upset at her the first time, I got drunk & said a lot of stupid things to her. Then I started feeling guilty, over bearing, jealous, impatient to get things better soon. She gave me so many chances through last week. But after a lot of arguing she left the house & ignored me for a whole week. She said she didn’t want this anymore. That I would never change. That ever since the beginning she was always at my feet, always listening to me, always pleasing me & I keep being rude & not letting her go out with her new friend to get some air. She said she don’t feel the same, it’s not there anymore. I don’t understand how you could stop loving someone that fast after all these years. She wants a divorce but I don’t. I really love her & she has always loved me more until now. I need help to earn her trust back & to help her bring back out the love she says she doesn’t have anymore. I know there isn’t someone else. I think she just got tired of it. I have the kids right now & she is taking about getting her own place & having them love with her while her mom watches them. She is looking for a future without me. But I don’t know how serious she means it. I dont know if i should give her more space or make few attempts to win her heart. She wants to do things her way for a change & wont consider anything I say. I’m currently taking some church counseling even tho I don’t usually go to church & some extra counseling on the side. What should I do?

    1. Hey Kevin,
      You seem to be a good man with solid principles.
      I want to help you turn things around, let’s work together.
      Please book a coaching session with me in order for us to get started.
      Hope to hear from you soon.

  34. I have been with my wife dawn for 8 years married for 5 years, in April 2015, she changed her job to spend more time with me and our kids but over the next few months we saw less and less of each other cause she was constantly working, In September 2015 she changed her job again, but I had already noticed things weren’t right in our marriage, on sept 15 2015 we argued and she told me she had been cheating on me with a woman called Samantha, sadly my emotions got the better of me and I pulled her hair and shook her head she called the police and I was arrested, whilst I was in police custody she told the police I had raped her, omg I was devastated, in October 2015 she admitted to the police the rape didn’t happen and she was angry and depressed, sadly for me the damage was done, I admitted assault in October 2015 got a 12 month suspended sentence, although Dawn withdrew her complaint the police continued to keep me on bail till the week before xmas, on December 17th I moved back home and we continued with our relationship, she told me this woman was out of her life and she wanted to be with me, we had a good xmas but sadly spent new year in hospital as dawn was taken ill, on new years day we argued cause I found out she was still texting this other woman. On January 02nd 2016 she announced she was leaving me for this woman and splashed it all over Facebook. although she left I still see her almost every day cause of our children, in February of this year the girl she left me for went to work on a Saturday and when she came home she found dawn in bed with her dad, they are not together now but dawn now lives with the father Stephen, I still see her almost every day, she tells me she loves me she tells me she wants to come home, she has even started to kiss me more passionately, I love her so much and want her back, my life has changed completely with the rape allegation I lost my job, and got depressed and ended up being an alcoholic, in April my mom took me to the doctors for help they put me on anti depressants and I joined AA, I know see a personal trainer twice a week, I’ve lost almost 6 stone I’ve stopped drinking completely my assault charge finishes 26/10/16 and I’m trying to get a job now, I’m in the process of decorating the house from top to bottom, I just need help to get Dawn back I love her so much
    can you help me please

    1. Hey Tony,
      You’ve already started taking the right steps and I salute your efforts.
      Let’s work together to continue to turn things around!

    2. Tony, keep going to AA, listen to what they tell you about resentments and controlling behaviour and connection to a higher power. Keep working out and getting physically fit. Keep working on yourself. Don’t every stop doing those things regardless of what happens.

      The absolute worst thing that will happen is that you will be an upgraded version of yourself, you will be great at work, family and friendships and you will find lasting happiness elsewhere.

      I promise you, if you stick to AA and the gym and keep yourself emotionally, spiritually and physically fit, the kind of happiness you will experience will blow your mind.

  35. Hi my name is Karl, I have been married for 16 years. Last December a began an affair with a woman that I met at my gym. Eventually my wife found out about it and I had promised to end this affair which I never did. This past June she found out that I had been with this woman and had never stopped this affair. We had a huge fight and she kicked me out. I have now realized what a huge mistake I have done and I really miss my wife and my best friend. I want her back more than anything in this world.

  36. Have been seperated for 5 months. Wife had emotional affair and when o found out I lashed out with calling her horrible names. That made her emotionally shut down. Causing my insecuritis to spiral.. we still cimmunicate. She says I pressure her or badger her to feel things.. she wants to start over slowly..physically been apart for over 1 yr which makes me feel totally imasculated…in just want this over and back to normal.If things don’t progress I usually tell her I’m done. But days later want to try…help I’m so confused. ..feel like I live in a state of limbo

    1. Hey Donel, please reach out to me in private so that we can work together.
      I will provide you with answers to all your questions and a solid game plan to stabilize your relationship.

  37. Hey Karl,
    This is a complex situation because you abused her trust.
    I still think that we can win her back but we would have to work together and do multiple coaching sessions.
    If you are interested, please book a coaching session right away in order for us to get stated ASAP.
    Best of luck either way,

  38. Hi, my name is Erik and my relationship with my ex is a little complicated but I will try to summarize it, we meet about 6 years ago, at the time I use to be sort of a room mate she was dating a friend of mine, due to their problems I sort of become the should to cry and I start helping with her 3 kids 2 of them have severe medical issues, after they broke up we start it as boyfriend and girlfriend about a year and half later we decided to get married here is where the complication start it, about 20 years ago I got married to other person after separation I got the divorce papers but never follow, weeks before our marriage I call several counties to find out if anything was in record and I was told no, so we end up getting married at the time she told me that it was ok and several occasions we talk about and decide that if in fact I was married I would get a divorce and we would remarry, but 4 year went by and nothing was done, during those 6 years we had many fights or arguments in which nothing was resolved in most I scream divorce or I’m leaving, we come to the point that our friendship no longer was there and we start to drift apart, our routine was to blame each other, we replace talking with sarcasm or cruel jokes, I close my self up to de point that I didn’t care enough about her, even when sentry to say thing were wrong I choose not to care, during this time I raise her 3 kids now 10,8 and 6 in what I choice to believe wa the right way with screaming and punishments, our fun completely disappeared and even we went on trips and did fun things was never that way as anyway we end up arguing a lot during the trips, about 5 months ago I start it to see changes but once again I didn’t made nothing out of it, in the last month and a half I start hearing a guys name but nothing else so I become suspicious and I start looking thru her phone to find email about them talking about adultery, and text with things like beautiful, hansome, text with an explanation of the things we were doing as a couple or as a family we try to talk and fin a solution so we decide to seek marriage therapy we only went once but the txt continued, about 2 weeks ago I got so upset about an other text that I left our home in Michigan and move to D.C as I continue to push and be rejected I got more upset and down so a few day ago I decide to get sleeping pills and send an email telling her that, papers that I request from the previous marriage and the go them while I was gone, from there she have block me from every form of contact including the kids now she is to the point where she say that she have no feeling what so ever she say is just blank and have say that she have put a restraining order on me. I do care for her and the kids and my goal is to be back with her and the kids. Is my situation something that can be fix or I just let it go, also I think she is currently with the other guys either as seeing each other or maybe actually living together, so my question is do I have a choice or is done?

  39. My name is Rodney,
    My wife and have been married for 8 years and one week (9/27/08) is our anniversary and also the day we broke up, but not legally…yet.
    We have 2 wonderful children together and had what I believed a happy and healthy marriage up until a few months ago.
    When my son was first born in 2009 I worked a ton of hours to help pay off my wife’s school loans and help her finish college to become a RN. It put a strain on our marriage but we were able to work through it. She graduated and was is now a licensed RN and landed a great state job.
    We had our second child soon after. My daughter. Things were looking great then my son got sick. Spent a week and a half at the children’s hospital and was told it could be cancer, long story short, it wasn’t and he’s doing great now.
    Then her father got sick (cancer) She’s always been particularly close to him, he’s a great guy, then we found out that her mother was cheating on him for the entire two years that he was battling this sickness. Meanwhile we were saving money to buy a newly built home to move into and leaving the little shack we were living in. Then I lost my job.
    Unable to provide and pay bills I went into a deep spiral of depression needing to ask her for money while she worked 80-90 hours a week to make ends meet while we were trying to save for our dream home.
    I got out of that funk after a while and landed a new good paying job and we moved into the new house and sold the old one, we were a little distant from her working all those hours but things were looking up. So I thought.
    We were in the house for a month and she was still distancing herself from me. Finally on our anniversary night I asked her if she wanted to be with me and she said she don’t know. She told her friends and family she wants a divorce but never really told me in words to my face, but her actions are clear as day. I’m still in love with her and want to continue to have a family that we already started with her. Please help. I love her too much to just walk away.

    1. Hi Rodney,
      I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, and want to thank you for being vulnerable enough to share your story with me. You sent me this message 24 days ago (‘m sorry for the delayed response, I’ve been tied up coaching); what has happened since then? I think restricting communication will help her remember what she loves and misses about you and your marriage. However, learning the intricacies of your relationship will help me best qualify how to proceed. Let’s book a session.

  40. Me and my wife recently divorced. I didn’t want it. We have two kids and she is resilient in not wanting to stay together. We have been married 8 years. Can you really help. I mean I don’t need false hope.

  41. i have been with my wife for 10 years now married 8 we have 4 children a few weeks ago she told me that she wanted to move out she loves me and cares about me but she is not “in love with me” anymore and i know and i can admit this is due to me i was not trusting in her always asking where she was my it took so long to go somewhere. I know that i would say things to her that were mean and wrong. SHe told me that she had been holding this in for sometime now and that it has gotten to the point where she just does not want to be here anymore. SHe said that she sould have said something to me along time ago be did not because she did not think thing would change after all this i told her that i was sorry and that i would do everything i could do to change myself for the better not just for her but for myself. since then i have done alot of looking at how i went wrong with her and have started doing things different and treating her like the women she is she still is living in the house with my but we dont sleep in the same bed and i try to give her as much space as i can. SHe also tells me that she does not want to try anymore because she does not see this going anywhere. SHe was going to leave right away but stayed i was told that she was going to stay and see how thing go but this was from a outside source ( her family ). She said she would stay until Christmas and that leave. Do you think there is any hope for me> Also after she told me she wanted to leave she was with another man and we talked about it and told her that as long as she was going to stay here i could not handle her seeing another person she agreed to not see him while she was still living here I really love my wife and i am willing to do what ever it takes to make things better and get us back to being happy together My wife means more to me that anything in this world other then my kids

  42. Hello coach Adrian,
    Me and my wife had been together for 22 years married for 16, with 3 children. The last 5-10 of our marriage I have been, to put it simply a miserable bastard.. Don’t get me wrong its not to doing with my wife I’ve just been in a rut I couldn’t get out of..I have neglected my wife’s feelings made her feel not loved or appreciated and for so long now that she had started to go out and have fun with friends and distancing herself from me ..who could blame her… I didn’t know how to get out of the rut while we were together, so 3 weeks ago I said I was leaving….which I did to stay at my sisters and I had a game plan for our future. Step 1 was to leave , step 2 was for me to lighten up and become more loving …you know, rekindle the passion, not just sexually more importantly was the mental passion we had been lacking, step 3 was for my wife to realise that I did love respect and appreciate her. step 4 was reconciliation moving back in with my family and have a wonderful loving family life…
    I only got to step 1? I didn’t realise the extent of my wife’s hurt by my lack of love and understanding to her…. 4 days after I moved out she started seeing a a friend 14 years her younger, who seems to give her everything I wasn’t , but wanted 2 weeks have passed and she tells me she loves him and that he makes her feel the way I wanted to… She has also introduced him to our children… Meanwhile I have to admit I felt lost and that my effort to get us closer had backfired? and fell into the I can change,I love you, I just want you back pit of despair… I have come to.realise what a shitty husband I was and want nothing more than having my wife and kids back again they are my life

    1. Hi Steve,
      Thank you for your share. I can see that you’re in a lot of pain and I’m sorry about your current situation. I think you and your wife will benefit from some time apart, so I think the no-contact approach is most appropriate. This will give you the time to regain self-love and confidence, as well as identify how to be the man she feels you’ll need to be. Do not let this new relationship bring you down, but rather, use it as fuel to reconnect with yourself and the man she fell in love with. Please take a look at our free Crash Course, as it may help.

  43. I have been with my wife for almost 6 years…married for 2 and a half. Things were great for the first 3 years. She begged me to marry her. But it seems once I did, things went down hill. I am a very loyal and lovey type of guy who loves the attention from my wife but can’t seem to get it anymore. She says she loves me but very hard to get any affection from her. I am the one who is always initiating things like text messages, random notes, date nights. I try talking to her about it but she has never really been the talkative person. The only thing I get from her is she feels lost sometimes. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know I come across needy somethings and insecure but when you don’t get the attention from the person who is supposed to be your partner in crime, best friend, love of your life…it’s hard not to feel that way. I have always had insecurity issues from my past. I do have one of the biggest hearts in the world meaning I always put my love ones first. I don’t wanna give up really, but I don’t want to feel like I am not that important to her anymore either. I feel like she would be fine if I walked out the door tomorrow. And it sucks feeling that way. I do remember when we first started dated that I broke up with her and she begged for me back stating I was her world…now I am not her world. Sorry for this being so choppy.

    1. Hey Nick, thank you for sharing your story. I know it’s difficult to feel ignored. If you feel like you’re being too needy, maybe you also feel like you’ve lost power in your relationship. The balance of power is important when it comes to making your wife love you again. I think you’d benefit from a one-on-one with me. Message me and let me know when you’re free. Looking forward to connecting with you. Sincerely, Adrian

  44. I have been with my wife for nine years four dating and five married… Recently she had left me saying that she doesn’t see a future with me and isn’t in love with me anymore and surely does not want to be in a relationship with me again… We have two children. My son is from my previous relationship and I have a daughter with her… We still talk daily through text and calls… I have made my mistake of drinking to much and I have physically abused her acouple times and have emotionally abused her when I am drunk.. I have completely stopped drinking and have been 121 days sober from it…no matter how hard I tried I have been rejected everytime.. We have been seperate for almost three months now and I have been trying to win her back the wrong way after reading your article… I am completely lost at to how to win her back.. She has noticed the changes I have made through out the three months apart but she still doesn’t want to be with me… She is saying that she was unhappy and miserable with me even when I give her all my love and affection… She has recently told me that she feels free to do what ever she wants and doesn’t have to go by anyone to ask to do anything she want to do and she like it… She doesn’t have anyone as a rebound and she clearly states that she just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone else especially me..I had some anger problems and is slowly calming myself down during arguments and to be try to be a good LISTNER as much as possible because she said that I had some listening problems. She clearly states that she doesn’t want me to fight for her back but that is all I want to do is fight for her and my daughter back. How can I go about to win her back? I may have done something wrong along the way and maybe I just couldn’t see it or is it the end of my marriage?

    1. Monie,

      Thanks for being open and for sharing your story. This sounds like a very difficult period in your life. If you’re trying to get your ex back, I encourage for you to try and implement the “radio silence” technique. This no contact period will give you time to change into the man that she’ll see a future with, while also letting her decide if living a single life is what she really wants. If you’d like to make a firm roadmap together, let’s book a session.


      Coach Natalie

      1. I wish I can book a session right now.. I’m having some hardship with financysl atm after she had left…

  45. Hello, I just read this article and it really resonated with me and has given me some much needed hope. I have been married to my beautiful wife for 15 years and we have two wonderful daughters. Someone looking at our life from the outside would think we have it all; a beautiful family, two successful careers, a nice home and great friends. However, right now I am in so much pain. In July of 2015 my wife told me she no longer loves me and has lost the passion and the intimacy. She has felt like this for about 3 years but was afraid to tell me. There was never any abuse, cheating or major fighting in our relationship we just sort of drifted apart and life got in the way and we didn’t focus on nurturing our relationship. When my wife told me, I was devestated but I knew I wanted to try and fix the relationship. Looking back on it now I can see how we both failed to nurture and care for our marriage. For the past year I have been doing everything I can to be supportive, kind and understanding. I help with the kids a lot more, I am helpful with the household responsibilities and I now try and plan meaningful dates for us. I used to do this when we were first married but over time stopped….I don’t have a good reason why. In November of 2015 I took her to Vegas to run a half marathon and booked an amazing birthday supper for her. My wife has always wanted to take her MBA and to show her that I support her I agreed, knowing it would be a huge time commitment and financial cost. So my wife has just started an executive MBA which involves travel and I am 100% behind her in making sure she is successful. I look after the kids and help give her the time she needs to study. In a weird way I am hoping this will bring is closer. It will give me an opportunity to show her that I am there for her and support her even when things get stressful with school work. Over the year there have been some good times but also bad times where I panic, start to really worry and spiral into a depression. I now know that while I was doing a lot of things right I was also doing a lot of things that were undoing all the good I was doing. I was/am constantly checking in with her and asking her if she loves me yet and getting really sad and depressed when I don’t see any meaningful results. The kids are starting to see me break down and I can tell my wife has lost all hope and is getting ready for the end. I don’t know how to stop ruminating on our relationship. We are now sleeping in separate beds and she has mentioned separation! I worry that it’s too little too late. I’ve been able to rebound each time but it is interfering with our recovery. Since June of 2016 we have been seeing a marriage counsellor and that has helped somewhat. We went on a summer vacation with her parents this year and she said she was really impressed with how I was around her parents and I was different in a good way, so that was a step forward. She has said she now feels supported by me, which is different than before, but still no passion or intimacy. I am willing to wait as long as it takes, but it has been over 16 months and the feelings just aren’t there for my wife and I think she is starting to worry that they will never come back and wants to quit. She sees the toll this is taking on me and how it is impacting the kids (seeing me depressed) and I think she thinks the only way to stop the pain is to end it. I keep telling her that it takes time and maybe the feelings of support will lead to more feelings, at least I hope so. My question is how long does it normally take? I know I have to be strong and not breakdown but am wondering if it normally takes 2 years or even longer? Am I too late…It’s been 16 months! Thank you for writing the article because it has given me a lot of hope and I long for the day when my wife and I have a solid supportive relationship again.

  46. Hey folks I’m in a pretty sticky situation. I met my girlfriend 4 years ago and knowing that she had some issues I didn’t let it bother me. She suffers from panic attacks and anxiety and is well medicated at this point and the few times I wanted to give up but I just stuck by her anyway because I felt something inside of me that I should. Now about three years ago we started talking about having a baby and finally the day came and we decided to go ahead and follow the procedure, and once we found out that we were pregnant, something inside of me started to stress. I started having things going on at my work thing started getting very stressful and the fact that I knew we were having a baby, although excited as I was, I was very stressed out. I was scared not to be a good father. So throughout the pregnancy, I went to every appointment I stayed by her side And did everything hey man would want to do when his wife is pregnant. Finally the day came January 31, 2015, my beautiful son was born. Unfortunately I was working night shift that winter. No the problem is I went on that night shift because it gives a little bit more money but it is also very stressful because I never get any sleep and I thing is she told me not to go and I went anyway. Finally the winter was over and I went back to the ship in April I ended up getting stuck doing something I didn’t like for about a month. Then I went to do something that I like and then I got screwed out of that one and ended up doing something I don’t like with someone that has a problem with me for some reason. Fortunately my stress room more and more and I didn’t have patience for much. I basically go to work every day come home cook dinner for my family clean the house etc. etc. I should’ve spent more time with my son. But the thing is it’s not that I didn’t want to spend time with my son I actually thought I was actually helping by doing all those other things. Then for a while I started to stress about buying a home in limiting our spending and I kept spending anyway but why kept stressing. Just kept saying all the wrong things you know and although she’s not my wife she’s my girlfriend and I had planned on marrying her next summer I love her so dearly and there’s no words to describe how much I love her. Two weeks ago I was upset about something I know she takes care of the baby and it’s quite a bit of work and I had asked her if it would be possible for her to do a little job for me around the house very small thing I came home and she hadn’t done it I was upset but didn’t say anything. The next day I called her on the phone I told her I’m sorry I was upset I told her why and what happened. At this point the glass overflowed. She had enough of my stress and my complaining and like trying to do good which wasn’t really all that good apparently. she’s leaving.I am of course I kick then ice cream then I cried and I tried to convince her which only pushed her away even further. I only did what came natural to me I love her so much I try to save our relationship. She’s now at this point she’s already have a new another apartment and bought all new furniture and things are tense around the house because I don’t want her to leave her and it’s a bit of an argument over child custody. I know and I will never lose my son but I want to be a father to him I want to be there I want us both to be there but at this point she stuck to her decision and doesn’t even want to hear it. I don’t know what to do anymore I’ve been reading online and then I came across this site and I thought maybe there’s a way out as a way to fix this. i’ll admit were still living together and it’s very very hard she refuses to sleep in the same bed as me it’s almost impossible to just eat dinner together and she’s admitted that she’s angry and that she doesn’t love me anymore. I’m currently seeing somebody about my stress management and I want to better myself for me because I’m tired of being that person and also because I know I need to do it if I want to get my wife back. I’m trying not to think about the future but it doesn’t look good I really want her back I want to be a real family with all the love you can imagine ! I feel so alone hopeless invalid a completely broken .

  47. My wife and I have been together for 25 years since we were 14 years old and married for 9 years. We have a beautiful intelligent 8 year old daughter a very nice home in an awesome neighborhood. We have always got along very good worked things out didn’t argue too much and do alot together as a family. I always did my husband/father duties to the beat I could, but I did have a temper problem stemming from my parents divorce. We both had very decent jobs over the years. In the past 4 years money debt has been an issue and I worked as much as possible up to 60 hrs a week with good pay. My wife had a full time job and got a new part time one or more an hour but less hours. Well less hours meant credit cards and line of credit being used to pay things but I clearly did not know to what extent as she took care of finances and I had no access to. I’ve always had little outbursts here and there mainly working on things and never towards anyone. Well when I found out our debt was humongous my outbursts got worse and sometimes I yelled at my loving daughter and I don’t know how I ever did. My wife and her mother who lived across the street and is awesome were always telling me I need help but in a sarcastic way and I shrugged it off. I’ve always helped everyone with as much as possible. On July 14 I came home and saw our statements and flipped over the huge amount and carried on and said do we split up and sell the house..stupid me she stuck to it! I told her please I say stupid things from anger I did not mean it but she said I’ve wanted it for a couple years now told me to get out of our home to my parents and had separation papers in 2 WEEKS! I begged please no but she told me.she doesn’t love me anymore and can’t handle the emotional abuse from my temper even tho it was not directed at anyone, just venting. It’s been 5 months of me living at my parents and she wants a full divorce and we even put our hiuse up for sale because mainly of the debt and she even packed everything! I’m so devastated as I love her and my daughter so so much.the whole time I still have been putting my entire paycheck into our joint account and it is barely paying bills. I’m going to counseling for anger and all and they even said I’m not that bad but it’s hurt wifey’s heart. I’m so hurt bad and don’t want this to happen we r so good together as we both have issues ourselves, me temper and her a little overspending. Please help as I don’t want to loose her and my daughter and home..please help!!

  48. My wife recently cheated on me. And even though she says that she regrets what she did, she’s still not in love with me anymore. I feel her drifting away every day. I don’t want to lose her. How pathetic am I.

  49. My wife and I are a little over a year into our marriage. We have been together 3 years, and throughout that time, I have been gone a lot. We are both in the military, and I feel like we have lived together 6 months at a time for most of our time together. I have never wanted to be away from my wife. Every minute I spend with her is heaven on Earth, and every second we are apart is hell. We got married in Oct of 2015 and in February of 2016 I was tasked for a 365 day tour of duty in Korea. When we had gotten engaged, we wanted to wait until the summer of 2016 to get married, but when I found out that I was going to Korea, we decided it was better if we went ahead and got married a little bit earlier than anticipated. Everything was perfect for the first 9 months that I was gone. As far as I could tell, it was, anyways. I went home this past October for 30 days and while I was home we had our actual wedding, celebrated our anniversary, and moved. We tried having a baby. The whole time I was home, we were as happy as we had ever been. Everything was completely normal, if not better than before. Our sex life was very active, we laughed and joked, did things together, went out on dates. Life was perfect, but then I had to come back to Korea. At this point, I only had 3 months left and I would be home for good for a very long time. We had talked about it, and made plans, but 2 weeks after I got back, something happened with her and she started to shut down and push me away. She would not talk to me, and when we did finally talk, she told me that she had started to feel numb, and was questioning whether or not she wanted to be married still. She asked me for space and time so that she could try and figure herself out. I obliged her request, as hard and painful as it was, and left her be for over a week. Then I heard about the possibility of another guy making his way into the picture. I asked her to call me, and when she did, she told me she wanted a divorce. I was completely caught off guard by this. I never ever expected her to ever say those words to me. I asked her why, and she told me that she had been unhappy for a few months, and felt like we had drifted apart, and she felt like we rushed into our marriage. She told me that when I was home, she could not wait for me to leave, and that she was relieved when she found out that she wasn’t pregnant. I was so hurt by this. I asked her to give me a chance to come home to show her that things would be as good as they were again. She kept saying things like “right now this is what I want” and “right now I don’t want to give this a chance” and “right now this is how I feel”. She made it a very clear point to let me know that she still loves me and that that would never change. I’ve gotten to think about the things she told me, and I realized a lot of doesn’t make any sense. If she wanted me to leave when I was home, why would she be all over me all of the time? If she was relieved to not be pregnant, why did she do so much to plan ahead for a baby, and why was she visibly disappointed when the tests showed up negative? She has continued to push me away, and I need to know what I can do to save our marriage, and keep my wife? I love her, and I know she loves me, and I feel like she rushed into this decision and it’s some sort of justification for something. I do not think she cheated on me with this other guy, not physically at least, but I’m afraid there is an emotional thing going on between them. I want nothing more than to save my marriage. What can I do?

    1. Hi Jeff,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation, I can imagine how frustrating and painful it is to feel your future is up in the air. If you’re wondering how to get your wife back, I think I can help. However, your situation needs thorough attention, and so I invite you to book a session with Coach Adrian or myself so we can assess it. Off the bat, I will insist that you try to develop a more rounded perspective of this relationship, and try to put yourself into your wife’s shoes. This is going to be how you determine what went wrong in the relationship and what steps you’ll need to follow in order to mend it. I really hope this helps and I hope you decide to reach out to us.
      Coach Natalie

  50. So, My ex girlfriend actually dumped me after a two years relation, sorry for the long story, as I believe that this have a lot to do with why we are here today, during the first year, everything seemed like if we are both in heaven, where we shared lots of interests where we almost lived together during for the first year,
    knowing that she is still in collage, and that I am 10 years older than her, the girl lost her father after he unfortunately made a huge financial mistakes which lead him to jail, moving with her mom, a younger sis and a brother to her grandmother’s house, with a very poor situation, my ex started to work as a team leader assistant in some NGO, in order not to drop from collage, and I was so supportive at a time, and I wish I am still there for her anyways, that changed almost everything for the next year, where I actually had to move to another city, and I used to visit every month or so, and to stay near for at least 3 to 4 days each visit.. the new situation here, where all family members and relatives from the mom’s side, in addition to the mom herself and the 26 years brother started to hate me for no clear reason, or as I believe that this because that of her always showing them that I’m somehow wiser and letting them know my negative opinion on how they are dealing with their problem of being in debit, they turned totally against us started to convince her that I am no good for here, until lately her brother started to threaten her literally, to break up with me,

    long story short, seems that I was literally showering her with all caring and appreciations I thought needed at that time, as I thought I became the only one left for her. we build our ideal dream and ideas for what shall we be doing, I started our own startup here in my hometown so she can follow as soon as she finish her collage and until I get us financially ready, her family members however knew that my family is not ok with her new circumstances, and that they always wished for me something better than this, we continued to support each other for almost another year, where she was talking to me without them knowing..
    anyways, as a collage girl, who apparently wanted so bad to live just a normal life, she started to raise up some new issues, started to hang out with some new male friends, started to convince herself as if we are having something to conflict about.. dumped me once, kissed someone on the exact next day, we came together again, started to lie on me on very stupid things.. etc, all what does it take to convince herself and I that what is broken is broken, and we can’t become one anymore.. i promised to stay on her side til my last breath and up until now.. though i am not convinced at all.. and I can’t get to sleep anymore, feeling that we split a part only for our stupid circumstances, that has nothing to do with us.. I still believe that this girl is a soulmate to me, and that regardless of whatever happened.. I still can’t let her go, still have the feeling that I have to stick to my promises that I want let her go, no matter what our surrounding (which we were dreaming of changing it together once) will bring to us, and on top of all, I am not convinced at all to leave my beloved in such a surrounding of a very aggrisave family, working extra hours in order to pay checks for her father, and yet to come her brother depts!
    any advice on how can I re-convince my baby back? please!

  51. Right now my wife is seeing Simone else and wants a divorce, I have known she had been upset with how things were between us but we never tried to work on things she kept it all bottled inside and let all of her feelings explode. I love her with all my heart and want to make things work to keep my family together, i realize i played a part in not meeting her needs but i will do anything tip make this work we have so many things in common shared passions and dreams now she says she dissent want to work on it and that she sees me as a friend please help me get my lover and my family back

    1. Hi David,
      Thank you for your share. I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation and I know how hard it is when it comes to trying to get your wife back. What you need to focus on is why your wife doubted your ability to make them happy long term. In that answer lies how to get her back. If you need any help with this, please feel free to book a session and we can discuss it one-on-one.
      Coach N.

  52. Hello, my wife and I have been married for 12 years on the 29th of December this year been together for nearly 16.
    Around our third year together I lost lost my job and could not find work for a couple years so I stayed home and watched our 2 children which I enjoyed but became jealous and concerned when she would come home late from work I always accused her of things that I still don’t know if she ever did which I don’t really have a problem with now but for about 3-4 years I treated her like she did and said some bad things.
    Not knowing I was messing up and room her for granted continued our marriage as time went on and I got a job again i had gotten better with who I was and how I thought, years later around our 10th year she dropped a bomb on me telling me that she didn’t love me and don’t think she could ever love me again she took her wedding ring off and put it up I took it and hid it because we where still living together finally I told her where the ring was she would not wear it but she put it on her necklace and carried it on her always, a month or 2 passed and she put it back on all around this time I got custody of my son another long story for another time which my wife love as her own and is a better mother to him than his biological mother.
    We had talked and she felt bad and was afraid if she left me then I would not have been able to get custody of my son so she stayed so to add from when I did find my job it was over night and a second job to help which did cause some distance with me not being home at night time anddurong the day did not know that till 2 years ago which I switch to a day time job however it was long shifts we never seen each other because of it but I was June to go bed every night I could with her I just recently switched again now to days with her we do work with the same company now. So for the first week or 2 I was home with her and the kids which we had a third little girl by this point even after having her tunes cut and burned she was happy and bouncy again like when we was younger, on my third week being day I started seeing some differences so I asked she told me over the past 2 weeks now that she still has those feeling and now that I’m home she still see that person I used to be even though she admits I’m not the same way but she is always afraid of that person coming out again because I was like that for a long time I tried telling her today that it took me years to make your feeling that way that it will take her time to see I’m not that person but she dont want to hear it at all.
    I have asked for counseling but she hates counsel due to being in foster care but I told her I want to try every door before we close it for good it hurts me so bad to hear these thing and I am a very emotional guy I have love since we where kids she was 15 when we met and I was 17 we had to not see each for a short time due to being in cps but when she was 19 she came back and moved in with me .
    She says she need a time away from me and wants to see life with out me more my words than hers she says she dont want to be with any one but I sometimes feel like that is what it is and sometime I feel like it’s just me she needs to be away from. I’m scared if I let her go I’ll never see or have her love again I’m lost and she acts like she dont care at all when I breaking down emotionally please help me I don’t know what I can do I know I messed up and seen that and fixed it but she dont see it at all like she dont want to I ask to let’s work on this and all she says is she dont want to at all.

  53. Hi there I’m alb

    I have been with me wife for 5 years and been married for 3 half. We have 2 kids . When we first met my wife promised me she wanted to be a family wife to lookafter the kids and work part time. But since this year she has got a very very good job that it’s taking loads of her time and less time for the family and me. She wakes up in morning goes to gym before work then picked up the kids and comes home then I drop the kids off and come home at 9 3 times week after my Traning. So as far as was concerned we were all great and we had Sunday’s together as family . She is quite messy person so I found my self telling her off every day to tidy up . So once we argued one night she then asked me in the middle of the argument if she was good enough mum so then I said ” she could improve ” which to this day she tells me about it. Anyway this was in October so about a month ago she was going out with her work and I told her to tell me where she was going and which hotel she was staying before she went but she never did I told her to text me before bed time but she didn’t she said she went to sleep and woke up again and she did is at 4am. So then we argued about that big time and I told her not to tell anyone else about our problems cos then it will only makes us look idiot when we see them again. I asked her many times if she had done that she said no so then I went in her phone to check that she had. So we argued again big time. Then we went to London for awards night for my work do and she loved it and we were back on track and happy again . Then her Xmas do came up the week after and she wanted to wear this dress which I though it wasn’t appropriate as u could see her boobs through if u really really looked. So then it went back to square one argument again and telling that I control her and then her mum got involved as we leave with her mum and dad and her 2 sisters. So then she went to that and I told her that I wouldn’t let our little girl to wear that and that she is not a good role model . So course then her mum and her read it as I called her slag. She works in company which its all man . I’m a bit jealous anyway then seeing pictures on fb put up by other people of my wife dancing and hugging u no just normal pictures but in my head I’m building a different picture. So then later on that night we had chat and told me that she thinks that we grown apart and that she doesn’t think that she feels the same way about me anymore . And that when we first met it was me all she ever wanted but not she doesn’t no. So then out of the shock of hearing that I lost it and told her I would kill her and my self if she did that. Which then I soon as I said it I said sorry. It was stupid. So then she said u are a syco. I asked her if there was anyone else maybe someone got her at the wrong time and it’s distracting her but she said I wouldn’t do that and she was upset how I could thing that of her. So I then I’m feeling very insecure by now and I want to find out y she is just pushing me like this. And she said if we didn’t have any kids then we would be talking by now. So then we said to take it slowly and work at it for the kids and 3 days doing that it was going well . I could see some improvements but in my head I’m still thinking y would she throw everything way there most be something she is hiding so then I connected her phone to my laptop to see all the whatspp which I didn’t find anything and then she find out about that and then she went mad . She said that she wants some space to think about it all I have hurt her too much for her to think if she wants to be with me anymore. She said that how we gonna be together when u don’t trust me. And how I went behind her back in the night and did the phone and password. So now I have moved out to her grandmother while she is thinking . That night I went out she then text me saying where did it all go wrong, we both grew apart being to busy and I said its my foult for putting u down and not seeing how much you do for me and kids I promise I will make it up to you to fix it. She said both our foult. And that have forgotten to joke and laugh . Last night I went to celebrate her granddad bday which she invited me and she had bought me some clothes from week ago and she gave them to me and she told me what I thought of some of her dresses she had bought she tried them on. And then she said that she was coming to my Xmas party next Saturday and wanted to wear the same dress we argued about. I have told her how sorry I am and how I will do anything to get our family back happy and reunited and she said that at moment she is to much hurt and that it will take time . I don’t no what to do I offered to take to London with kids or just us for fun activities day but she don’t want that. Don’t no what to do . I know she is texting this other guy who is also splitting up with his girlfriend and I’m worried that he might be telling my wife to leave me . Help me pls

    1. Hi Alb,
      Thank you for your share. I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation, I know how challenging it can be when wondering how to get your wife back. From an expert’s perspective, it seems like your wife felt she was lacking purpose, and when she started working, she felt empowered. When you told her she was neglecting her role as a mother, it seems like you made her feel guilty for feeling that empowerment. I encourage you to try to show your wife you appreciate her and are proud of her personal development. If you need help in this arena, please feel free to book a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to help.
      Coach N.

  54. I have been with my wife for 6 years now. 5 actually married. At the beginning of our relationship we would sit an talk on the phone for hours as we lived far appart. After we began living together we did the same. We would laugh together and have a great time just being around each other. But now, 4 years later things have went sour. We have argued more in the last year than we ever have. She seems distant and cold to me. I know I have neglected her in a lot of little ways. She would beg me to hold her while we were in bed and I wouldent. She would tell me things she wanted and I wouldent get them for her. She would do house work, and I would act like a slob and she would have to pick up after me. I never cheated on her, lied to her, or hit her, but it’s all these little things that have pushed her away. Shortly after Christmas we got into an argument again and she told me that she has been unhappy and not in love with me for the past year and a half and is insistent on divorce and this is killing me and I don’t know what to do. Iv done a lot of introspection lately and have tried to make some small changes like holding her when we go to bed est. But she simply seems too distant to care. Any help would be greatly appreciated please!!

  55. My wife and I have been together for six years now. We have one son together and had planes to have another child, however soon after chirstmas this year she told me that she had not been in love with me for the last year and a half and had been unhappy as well. I was completely blindsided. I mean, we were arguing at the time, and she told me that she had gotten tired of our routine and simply going through the motions. She had told me this many times along with other concerns that she had, but for awhile I would simply blow her off, or hear her but not actually listen and act upon it. Now she is dead set on divorce and is taking the steps to do so. After reading your paragraph about introspection I have realized that I have been doing this and have tried to change like cleaning up after myself, giving her foot and leg rubs when her legs are twitchy when she is trying to sleep, and dancing with her to her favorite songs after we put our son to bed like we used to. But, she seems too distant and cold to care. She is a very strong willed and independent person, but I want her and I to be the way we used to. I want her and I to talk all night about everything and anything, not just sit together and twiddle our thumbs on our phones. I want those dances back, and cuddling up to popcorn and a movie in bed. But now, when I offer some of those things, she will sometimes do them, but she completely disinterested. Please help me! I just want the love of my life back!

    1. Hi Jesse,
      Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how hard it can be to figure out how to get your wife back. Here’s the thing: right now, she just believe your efforts are permanent. She thinks you’re only doing it because she wants a divorce and not because you truly want to. You’re going to have to be really, really consistent right now in these new and improved measures you’re taking. It will make all the difference for you. If you need a hand, feel free to book a session with Adrian or myself – we’re here to help.
      Coach N.

  56. My wife is very upset with me. I did a stupid thing. I didn’t cheat on her. I sent a post on Facebook to an old friend and coworker of mine whom I worked with 2+years ago. Stating that I missed her. We used to talk about whatever. My wife thinks I have intimate feelings for her, but I don’t. I don’t know what to do. My wife says she can’t trust me nor does she love me anymore. I love my wife. What can I do?

    1. Hi Mark,
      I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how hard it can be. Just because she’s really upset with you and questioning your trust, doesn’t mean she’s fallen out of love with you. However, you really need to find the right ways to show her you’re a trust worthy man who she can rely on. if you need help with this, I invite you to book a session with me. I’m here to support you.
      Coach N.

  57. But what if your wife has a “preference” for the “bad boy” image, and you just don’t fit that bill? Has it only been an infatuation she had with me, only because i was something new, and it happened to last for 11 years, and she’s now bored and ready for her next infatuation?

  58. My wife and I have been together since July 10, 2005. We have been Married since May 21, 2011. Over the last several years, I haven’t been good to her. I have been angry with her, short, I poured time into my video game hobby instead of putting her needs and the needs of the kids first (children are two and three years old now), and I never helped clean the house. I ignored her when she said we should try therapy because I convinced myself everything was OK. I feel absolutely awful for the way I treated her. She has a back back, a bad knee, benign brain and spine tumors, and her medical bills are sometimes high, and she feels like a burden to our family, to which I’ve told her several times that I don’t feel that she is, but my attitude towards her did not help that feeling. Around April of last year (2016), I found out she had been very involved with another guy from work, texting all hours of the night and things like that, meeting for lunches and such. This was just before a vacation we took to Las Vegas (the first we had been on since our honeymoon), and the entire time we were there, she spent more time texting him than talking to me it felt like. Fast forward a few months and I found out that she had kissed him, and that their relationship was a lot more serious than I had thought. We have been to a counselor a few times, and after each session, things seemed to get better, but she would rebound right back to this person again a day or two later. After our last session at the beginning of January, things were looking very good, but a few weeks later I made the mistake of playing a game that she hadn’t wanted me to play in front of the kids, and I got upset with her about spending some extra money when our money situation hasn’t been the greatest, and that seems to have turned her off again. Last night she broke the news to me that she is no longer happy with me and that she no longer wants to be with me. I am beyond devastated. After I found out about the problems in April, I really tried to make a change and show her that I really do love her and need her, and that she means the absolute world to me, but every time she lets her guard down, I’ve slipped up and made a mistake, and she goes right back to her friend. She is maxed out on two different anti-depressants and still struggles to get through the day, and I love her so much and I want to be the husband she needs me to be, but it feels like all hope is lost. I can’t stop crying, and she doesn’t cry when she says these things to me, she tells me she’s been crying herself to sleep for years. She tells me that she cares about me a lot still, and still wants to co-parent and do things with the kids and she is being very good about the entire thing, but the thought of losing my soulmate is too much to take. She tells me the only reason I’m changing at all is because I found out there was another man in the picture. I sold all of my video games today in a desperate attempt to show her that I am serious, but she told me that it doesn’t matter anymore. I tell her I need her, and she says that I don’t, that I never needed her. I’ve had maybe a single slice of pizza in two days, I can’t sleep anymore, I am completely devastated and I will do anything to win her back. I don’t have a lot of money, but I am willing to put forth any effort it takes to show her that I can change for the better and to get her back in my life. I can’t imagine living without her. Please help me, she means more to me than anything ever will. Thank you.


  59. Me and my wife have been together for 13yrs total and married for 8 of them. We have 2 kids together. I have truly realized that I neglected her emotions. I didn’t treat her as equals when it cyame to decision making and money. I kinda of mentally abused her some when she didn’t deserve it and I am so truly sorry that I did that. She was crying out for my love and I was to stupid to realize it. She moved out and in with her mom and has been seeing another guy off to the side. We still spend time together because I coach my daughters basketball team and we only have one family vehicle so she goes with us. We still talk every day. She says she doesn’t love me anymore but she also says it’s never to late. I’ve done the stupid conversations of begging her to come back and saying just leave him and I have changed. I have honestly realized my wrong doings and ready to work hard and have been and just want to move forward. I don’t care about the other guy I just want my wife back and my family back together. I just don’t want to screw up and push her away. I just don’t know where to start. I’m still giving her money and buying her things and helping her out but she thinks sometimes it’s because I’m trying to win her back and it’s not. I just want to make sure she is being taken care of. Please help me! I need direction to say and do the right things

  60. My wife has been diagnosed with pmdd (but other psychologists think she is bipolar). It has been 5 years since she had a manic episode. But this past December she became violent and smashed our Christmas tree while I was in another room and the children were in one of our bedrooms. She was eventually forced to leave the home, but I didn’t want her to go to a mental hospital, so she went to a friend’s house. The next day, they helped her to file for divorce immediately. All of a sudden, she feels I am a “narcissist” but before her breakdown, we had a great year. All her conversations with me were about how good things were going, all her close friends agreed that she was telling them the same thing. But now, she has lost or ignores all those friends, and only three or four left. Plus those people that don’t really know us as a couple. She never says exactly what makes me a narcissist, but she says this stuff. She does not speak to me and when we are together she can’t look me in the eyes. Help!

    1. Hi Jorge,
      Thank you for your share. I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how challenging this all must be for you. Without knowing more, and considering the complexity of your situation, I would really encourage you to book a session so we can discuss this in detail. Please let me know your thoughts on this.
      Coach N.

  61. I have been married for 13 years and with her for 15. We have 2 wonderful kids together. In the last year I noticed a big change in her. Becoming distant and cold. A couple of weeks ago I discovered her talking to another man. At first she said it was an old friend from school. But of course I dug deeper and discovered messages and pics they were sending to one another. Also the times and days they were meeting at his house. I was devestated, and tried to calmly confront her about it. She told me she wanted a divorce, and we are currently living apart. I’ve been doing some reading today and realized I made every mistake you could in trying to convince her to stay with me. Now I’m sitting here with a very sick feeling in my stomach. I can’t eat, sleep, or stop thinking about it. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

  62. My wife left me we had a big fight. Said I was verbally abusive to her the whole time we were married. I admit I cussed a lot but I’d walk in to her happy some days and her pissed off other days. At first I would try my best to calm her down and she would cuss and attack me. Eventually I would get Fed up and fire back and arguments would start. She has filed for divorce and is dead set on it. I got my first visitation with my kids and she was there. The first time I had seen her or the kids in a month and a half. I got a chance to tell her how I felt. I told her I know I can’t change her mind but I can’t change how I feel about her either. I said I was very sorry for what happened and hoped she could forgive me one day. She said thank you for apologizing. She is seeing a counselor and the counselor and every one else in her life is telling her we had a toxic relationship and we shouldn’t be together. I told her I don’t believe we had a bad relationship she was my best friend for 3 years. She knows how I feel about her. This has devistated me and I go to church regularly and pray for the best outcome in all this. I do want her and the kids back with me but I know I can’t rush it. I can contact her now but she basically told me she has nothing to say to me. I don’t know what to say to her and everyone keeps telling me not to speak to her at all. I can ask about the kids and that’s it. Plz if there is any advice you can give me plz do. I don’t want this divorce but I’m willing to wait for her as long as it takes to get her back.

    1. Hi Landan, thank you for your share. I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how hard it can be when it comes to learning how to get your wife back. From an expert’s opinion, I invite you to book a session. I’d like to learn more about your relationship, in order to provide you with a more tailored assessment on what to do.
      Coach N.

  63. Hi,
    I could really do with some guidance and advice.
    I have been married to my wife for 7 years and we have been together for nearly 14 years.
    Over the years we’ve led exciting lives and travelled the world together, lived abroad together and had romance and passion and love. We bought our house together nearly 5 years ago and we started to have a few ups and downs but I put that down to ‘that’s life as a married couple’. But we got through those little rows and we maintained the romance and travels. My wife wanted to have children so we tried for quite a while and our daughter was born 18 months ago. Things obviously changed after this and we had less opportunities for date nights out and so we’d have quite nights in, but we still managed to squeeze a few holidays in, both on our own and with the baby and our parents. One issue that happened last summer was that my wife became pregnant again and after 6 weeks she had a miscarriage. he claims she got over it after a few weeks.
    But it was not long after this point, around September 2016, that she now says that her feelings for me started to change and at the time she couldn’t quite work out what this meant. In the November we had a holiday with her parents and everything seemed fine. December was tough as my Grandfather died, and looking ahead to 2017, she became far less enthusiastic about the idea of booking up any trips together.
    We started to have more bickering and arguments which culminated in her telling me she wanted to separate for a while. She said she had lost something for me and didn’t know how to get it back. At the time she wasn’t wholly convinced it seemed.
    Her personality towards me had always been very loving, loyal and devoted. She was warm, understanding and forgiving. But now she has become cold, distant and hard. I made the mistake of crying and begging which obviously didn’t work. We had some space away but we still kept clashing and arguing as I couldn’t accept what had happened. We tried marriage counselling but it hasn’t helped. She now tells me that she doesn’t love me anymore, that she’s not in love with me anymore.
    I’ve been able to objectively look at myself in the mirror and realise my own failings in this. I know that I probably neglected her in favour of going out with my friends, that I pushed too much for us to go on holidays to places she perhaps didn’t want to go to. I didn’t listen properly and made her feel that her opinions didn’t count.
    I had hoped that this could have been a reaction to the miscarriage or a midlife crisis (she turns 34 soon) or even an identity crisis as she might be struggling with balancing being a wife, being a mother and a colleague at work and being herself.
    We still live together, but in separate bedrooms. She wont let me cuddle her or kiss her or any forms of intimacy. She’s also reluctant to have dates ort anything like that, but she’s happy to talk. She tells me that she’s ‘willing’ to try but that she’s not in love with me anymore and doesn’t think she’ll get that back.
    Meanwhile she’s started to dress up more, bought new sexy clothes, goes out with her friends more – even staying out at their houses. She’s started to smoke of an evening, has avoided seeing my family and spends a lot of time on her phone messaging. I am now starting to suspect she is having an affair or has at least met someone new, although she categorically denies it.
    I really want things to work out between us, I love her very much and it’s crippling me her not being with me and the prospect that we wont be together. Her family are all saying that they want us to stay together too, especially her mother who has been very supportive towards me.
    I’m trying to do the right things; I’m trying to listen, to not be negative, to be consistent. I’ve acknowledged that I want to change for the better for her and I want to prove this to her, but she’s very distant towards me for the most part. We have a nice house, a beautiful daughter and a supportive family as well as 14 years of foundation behind us. But I can be my own worst enemy and every so often I can have a mini breakdown and cry in front of her or act miserable, or even get switch and say something like ‘fine, its over then!’ before later saying I didn’t mean it and that I am sorry. I have worked hard over the last 4 weeks to be persistent and consistent but then accused her of an affair over the weekend which has probably undone most of that good work.
    If there’s any advice or ideas you could advocate that would be very much appreciated.

    1. Hi Billy, I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation. Your situation is complex, but I do find it salvageable. I would encourage you to consider booking a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to help you determine the best approach on how to get your wife back.
      Coach N.

  64. Ive been with my wife for almost a year now. She moved from Quebec Canada just for us to be together. For a while things were amazing but during this time i was job searching and she took on the majority of bill paying. I never gave up though and have now found two jobs but during the job search muliple arguments happened and things were said that she cant get over.. She admits thst i treat her amazing and i do everything for her. But she now says she thinks she falling out of love with me.. Its the worst pain ive ever felt in my life.. I didnt get married to get a divorce. Both of us have admitted neither one of us have ever felt how eachother make eachother feel.. And i love my wife more than anything.. Please please help..

  65. I have been with my wife for a total of almost four years and married for a little over one. She wants a divorce. I have been reading through this article and really seems I may be able to save my marriage! Our relationship started out great but I carried some jealousy issues in the beginning for a couple months. There on we did pretty well eventually getting engaged and then married. The biggest issues that we face between each other is about how I discipline her kids and that I am too hard on them. Not a good thing for sure. There have been times I have just been aggravated or just took it overboard to many times making the kids unhappy and then making my wife unhappy causing her to want a divorce. This is just a few days recent that this has happened. I love her and the kids dearly and do not want to get a divorce. She is an amazing wife and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. We have accomplished great things together and love doing things together. I don’t want to lose her! Is it too late?

    1. Hi James!
      Thank you for your share and I”m really sorry to hear about your current situation. If you’re looking for an expert to help you get your wife back, I invite you to book a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to help.
      Coach N.

  66. Me and my wife was married for over 3 years (would of been 4 this coming August 6th) but I filed for divorce on December of 2016. She has 2 kids from her previous and we have a Daughter together who just turned 3. Me and my wife had the typical great start to our relationship like any other but we were moving way to fast. I met her in April of 2013 and 4 months later we got married and she got pregnant right after. It was fast but it was great. I never fell so hard for someone like I did with her. Everything about her was amazing! We just clicked. We were both really in love with each other. At the time we met she was working at a bank. She loved her job. She was proud of her job. I work up in Alaska 6 to 7 months out of the year. I’m a Fisherman. I have been doing this for 10 years. Both of us have great jobs we are making some good money together… But when she got pregnant she wasn’t able to work anymore. Her job told her that she could come back to work after the pregnancy and she did but it didn’t last long because I had to go back to work to Alaska so she had to quit her job because of the kids. She had nobody to watch them. Over time we had you know the typical arguments here and there but not anything major. But than over the last year or so is when she started to get on my ass about not being there enough. Not helping out around the house enough. Not getting involved enough. Like I said I fish up in Alaska so when i’m home for those few months I try to give my time to my wife and kids as much as I can… I also like to have a little time to myself like catching up on TV shows I miss or video games that i’ve missed playing while i’m out to work up in Alaska. My wife not working as much at the time I tell her that since I bring the majority of the money in you should be taking more care of the household stuff… Cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning etc and I would do as much as I could to help. And she didn’t like that one bit. She told me it wasn’t fair and it should be 50/50. I admit I could of helped out a whole lot more. She was also on me for staying up late numerous of nights during the week. She always wanted me to go to bed when she was ready to go to bed. Wake up when she wakes up. And I was starting to get annoyed by that a bit. Over the last year or so all of our arguing got out of control. It was starting to feel like a everyday thing. But it got worse when I got home from B season from Alaska in October of 2016. The first few weeks were good but after that it all went downhill. We were arguing and fighting about everything. Bills, food, more bills, I can’t buy this can’t buy that. We were calling each other nasty names and whatnot. It was out of control. Than we stopped having sex. The last time me and her had sex was in mid October of 2016. We stopped doing everything. We stopped touching each other, stopped kissing, stopped holding hands… She stopped saying I love you… Everything. So it all continued until I decided to stay at my Moms house in December of 2016. This is when we started separating from each other and to give us space… And while I left our house and stayed at my Mom’s that’s when I filed for divorce. I really didn’t want to do it… I regret until this very day but it was too late. Mind you that I didn’t even tell my wife I was filing for divorce. She found out when she got served. And she was in pain and angry for what I did. I told her that we don’t have to go through with it we can always change it but she wasn’t having none of that. So this last January when I had to go back to work me and my wife were on the phone while I was getting dropped off at the boat and she asked me if I wanted to work on us? And I said you know I do. Of course I do. So I thought that was that. But while I was gone for work in Alaska there was still problems back home. Our place got damaged when the sink up stairs exploded from the water pipes and downstairs got flooded. So the landlord evicted us. I felt really bad because I wasn’t there for my wife and kids during this rough time. They had to stay in a hotel until she was able to find another place. But I feel that what happened to our place only added more fuel to the fire on top of the other problems me and my wife were going through. A month before I came back home I called her up and asked her if we are still working on us and she said I want to work on us but when you come back we still need space? She needs time to think about it… I get back home earlier this month and things were different. A new place and none of my stuff in it. When our place got flooded she packed up all of my stuff and sent them to my Mom’s house. And then a few days later she tells me that she’s been talking to someone else for the last month or so and that’s when I broke down. That’s when it all started to hit me… Now my wife sometimes she likes to have some payback for when I do her wrong… So I don’t know if she is really telling the truth about that “someone else”??? When she first told me about it I started asking questions about this “guy” and she was always having to think about the answer so I don’t know if she’s telling me the truth or not? But it’s been 5 days since she told me that and i’ve been ignoring her completely. She will call and text and try to get a hold of me on Facebook but I haven’t been responding. When I see my daughter my mom picks her up and brings her back here. I told my Mom to tell Mariah that i’m not speaking to her at this time. I know I hurt her when I filed for divorce but I told her that I don’t want to go through it. So if the whole her talking to someone else is true or not she really messed me up with that one to the point I don’t want to see, hear or anything from her right now. Look I still love my wife… I think about her all the time… I always think about what I did wrong and how I can do better… There isn’t a day that goes by that i’m not thinking about my wife. I want me and her to work. I’m not ready for this to be over. I miss how we use to be so close with each other… I miss her calling me brat face. I miss everything about her. Seems just like yesterday when me and her started seeing each other… I loved her when I first saw her and I still love her through all of this crap me and her are going through right now. I just want my wife back…

  67. Hi Samuel,
    I’m so sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how frustrating this can be. In order to really know what to do, I encourage you to spend time assessing the issues that have been negatively effecting the marriage. What triggered them? How long have they been around? During what times do they come up? It’s in these answers that you’ll be able to determine how to best salvage the relationship. They will help you develop a road map. If you need help in this process, we’re here to support you. We invite you to book a session.

  68. Hi coach Adrain

    My wife and I are going through some rough times. She wants a break to grow up. We got together when we were in high school and had a baby in high school I love her so much and want to be with her for the rest of my life. We’ve been together for 6 years now and are common law married. She says she doesn’t feel anything anymore. We just bought a house and I don’t want to loose what we have I love her and want to be with her. I want her to have feelings for me again like she did. I don’t want to have a break I don’t want her to find someone else. She means the world to me.

  69. Hi coach Adrain or Natalie

    My wife and I are having some rough times. We have been together for 6 years we started dating in high school and I feel the same way about her as I did in high school. But she said she don’t have feelings anymore. She wants a break to grow up cause we never did. We argued a lot in our relationship. But I know we can move forward together. I want to win her back I love her and don’t want to see her with someone else. We have to beautiful kids and just bought a house. I need help please

    1. Hi Cory,
      Thank you for reaching out and for being vulnerable enough to share your story with us. I know how hard this must be for you. I can help you, and have many clients facing similar issues to what you’re describing. I invite you to a session with me. If you book through the Crash Course (on the left or right hand side of this webpage), you’ll receive a discount for purchase. I can likely get you in this afternoon.
      I’m looking forward to connecting with you and developing a game plan.
      Coach N.

  70. Hello good afternoon my name is Carlos, I am sure like most men in the comments, I am experiencing the same, I truly love my wife and want our marriage to last forever, I have hurt this woman so much but just not showing her love. Its so easy for her her to show me love and I don’t have a clue. How can I say and feel that I love her but not show it in actions. I am so caught up on not messing up again and how can I make her happy and make her smile again with me. I am completely lost and really feel defeated. I always had the sense of urgency to want to be a better husband but I come short every time even when I make promises that I really mean and truly want to accomplish. I am tired of disappointing her, I just want her to be happy and for me to become a better husband and to love myself like she loves me and our family. That’s all I want, I feel hopeless and stupid as to how can this be so hard to do when you feel it in your guts, I know I am not pretending to be here just because we have kids, I want to be here because she is my world, I love her with everything and I owe her happiness, That’s all she ever wanted for us. Please help me

  71. Hi Adrian

    My wife and I started dating in 2005. We got married in 2009 and have 3 kids together. I had a pretty rough childhood and didn’t know what a stable loving marriage looked like. I did many things to my wife that dissolved her trust in me and I would always tell her that I would change. I just never did. I would make excuses to myself or just block it out like nothing was wrong. My wife and I just recently separated in early April. She asked me to leave the house. I keep telling myself to give her space and let things heal but I’m so stubborn and hard headed that I keep pushing and pushing. I try to fix things over night because i miss her son much and just want an opportunity to make it up to her. Why can’t I take my own advice? Why do I just push and push?

    Just recently she met a guy on a friend site and she told me that she was working late one night and was actually on a date with him. He bought her strawberries and a card with a handwritten note saying how much he cared for her after only talking with her a few days. Now they text and talk on a regular and she says it’s none of my business.

    I try not to let that bother me but it’s hard and I question her about it. She keeps telling me she doesn’t want a relationship right now.

    How did I get past all of this and become a better stronger person? I want her back more than anything.

    1. Hi Jason,
      Thank you for sharing your story. Im sorry to hear about your current situation, I know how painful this can be. I feel Adrian can really help you develop a gameplan to increase your psychological strength and self control to best position you to get her back. If you’d like to book a session with me, you can do so by visiting this site:
      Wishing you the best always,
      Coach N.

  72. Hey Jason,
    my wife left the house 2 weeks ago asking for a divorce. This was due to many things that we both could have done differently. Ultimately she fell “out of love with me”. Of course I begged and pleaded with her at first digging myself deeper in a hole, however this was on day one only. Since then it has been complete silence between us. (2 weeks). I shot her a text yesterday and asked to meet tommorow to discuss “a couple of things” and she agreed. My fear is that she will be looking to speak about steps toward divorce and I’m unsure how to approach the situation or what I should even begin saying when I see her. I truly do love her and understand that I’ve made mistakes as well as she. She is also aware of this. Any advise on how to approach this situation tommorow would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

    1. Hi Jeremy,
      Thank you for reaching out – I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. How did the meeting go?
      Coach N.

  73. who is in need of help like you told me that you can cast a spell to bring ex back, Money spell, HIV Spell,lotto spell,and if you wants him to bring back your ex lover. Thank you you are the best spell caster that i have ever seen in my life the spell you cased for me have work very perfectly my ex boyfriend who live me for over 3week now is back and apologizing for me to come back to him that he is very sorry for the pain he cost me and i am so happy Doctor your spell is nice and make me fill alive again i will keep sharing you good work all over the world about the good spell you cast for me to get John back and i will also give your email address to everybody Protection spell, lotto spell, Good job spell and many other spell you told me you can cast for me if i need them i hope you will find a place to help other so they can give testimonies like me Doctor lalagada please help others many people are have problem try to get help form people but they is nobody like you to help the solve there problem like you do lalaga anyone need the help of this nice man contact him via this email best regards to your child Dr lalagada Emily form USA.


  74. Hi Adrian my name is Ben and i have been with my Gf for 6 years and have two kids together. We have kind of separated because i have been out of work for a few months. She says she dosent know if we will end up together because she is tired of handeling the bills. I have a good paying job now and live her with all my heart. How can i make things better and shiw her just how much she means to me??

  75. I have been with my fiancé for 4 years total with one year apart. There has been many cheating on her side and I often feel neglected. She has social enxiety and depression. I believe she is with me because the kids. She said yes to marrying me and even went to planning the wedding. I’m often confused on wether this is what she wants or if she’s only choosing to live life as a lie while keeping another man in her heart. Is it possible for me to win her back so I don’t feel alone and neglected. Or do I just give up and let her live like this while I try to win her “love” back

    1. Hi Zack,
      I’m really glad you’ve reached out – I can tell you’re in a really challenging emotional state right now. I would like to have a coaching session with you. I really think it’ll help you sort this out. If money is an issue, I’ll offer a discount. Usually, I don’t press for this type of relationship, but can sense this is unique and I want to help.
      Coach N.

  76. Hi Jason,

    Fixing this is possible. I have helped clients achieve success under worse circumstances. However, I’d like to really delve into your situation in order to help.
    I would recommend that you book a one hour private coaching session in order for me to respond to all of your questions, provide you with insights and a clear way forward.
    I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.

  77. Hi Ab,
    Thanks for reaching out to us and we’re sorry to hear about your current situation. If you’d like to consult with Adrian, he’d be a great resource in helping you restore your relationship. You can schedule a meeting with him by booking a session using this link:
    He’s looking forward to hearing from you!
    Coach N

  78. Adrian I have been with this woman for just shy of 12 Years we have been married for three. I did cheat on my wife before we got married and then lied about it. We got married she found out and then agreed to work on it. We got some counseling things got better but then when we argue she says the bad things come up and she has now asked me for a divorce. We are planning on trying to live together at least until December when she finishes for LPN classes. What do I need to do between now and then to show her the I am sorry but as well to be able to heal any advice?

    1. Hi Anthony,
      Thank you for reaching out and I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this is! I do feel you may be able to turn this around, but time is of the essence! You need to get started asap. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with either Adrian or myself so we can help you set up your game plan. You’ll need to follow this strictly and I’m confident it’ll show results.
      Please visit this link:
      I’m looking forward to connecting with you.
      Coach N

  79. Hi adrian, me and my wife were together since 7yrs and married in 5 yrs term of relationship. We moved abroad we had small fights but there was love between us. We held each other every time. But i was caught up in night job for most of the time. And timely she used to tell me u have changed and not giving time etc. and also dont make it late as the relationship may be to an end. And all of a sudden after she got a proper job and could handle herself she told she does not have feelings for me and dont want to be with me. And i was just trying to hold her but recently she lost her temper and i came back home for some time and she wants to have divorse and dont give a damn about anything related to us.

    1. Hi Simant,
      I’m so sorry to hear about this current situation – I know how painful this can be! I feel like you should spend time reflecting on what could have caused this. If you need help discovering what went wrong and what to do to fix it, I can help! So can Adrian 🙂 We invite you to schedule a session with one of us by visiting the following link:
      Wishing you the very best,
      Coach N

  80. My wife file for divorce 2 months ago and moved out 2 weeks after. I kept begging her not to do this to us and our 7 year old daughter.

    She told me she is moving on in life and that I should do the same. I love her and our family. We married for 10.5 years and together for 14 years. Everything was great until my daughter was born and then we lived liked roommates for the last 6 years. I will never forgive myself for not showing my wife the love I have for her. I was too busy worrying about cleaning the house and taking care of my daughter. We were great as a family and did everything together. She is truly my best friend and I want another change to show her how much I love her. I should have booked us a trip alone so we could get our sex life back on track. I feel awful as she kept crying out that something needs to change and we cannot continue living like this. I told her we need to work on it and she would say then do something about it and I never did. I always wanted too, however, time just slipped by. What can I do to change her mind?

    1. Hi Niko,

      Thank you for reaching out. I can’t guide you on what to do without learning more, and so I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me so we can discuss.

      Please visit this link:

      I know from experience that every situation requires a unique approach. I’m looking forward to helping you develop yours.

      Wishing you the very best,

      Coach N

  81. Hi Adrian,my story has got me so confused.We met in 1986,we were both 30,she was a cocktail waitress , I was doing fine and she wanted better for herself,she got a job at a hospital in the lab.We got married in 1988,bought a house and were very happy,then in 1993 she wanted her freedom and divorced me. She showed up in 1995 saying I was the love of her life,we remarried in 97 .I encouraged her to go after her dream and dispite only having a GED we got through it and she became an RN. Well 17 years and 5 step grandchildren later I get a nonhodgins lymphoma cancer a 6 months later she dosn’t love me anymore,leaves in 14 buys a house 2 miles away,I kept the house and the pets.She drops her new dogs off at doggie daycare 1block away and a new job as a RN 3 blocks away. Gen 2017 she calls and asks me out,well my cancer is in remission, I already started working out at a gym,I said yes.She kept saying 3rd time isn’t a charm,but we keep seeing each other all the time,sleeping together,spending the night,going out to eat,she buys most of the time.But when things look like they used to,going shopping,picking out clothes for me,telling me how good I look,soon as things get comfortable she pulls away and doesn’t speak to me for awhile, after a few days we’er back to seeing each other,with me helping her buy and have a pool installed.She introduces me to her new friends and tells them how we were together,then no contact,and then we are seeing each other.Now she says that I want to much from her and she wants to start seeing someone and now can’t see or talk to me.l have fallen in love with her all over again and now I am heart broken,she blocked me from FB and telephone but after going no contact for 3 weeks she texted me happy birthday last weekend.I responded with a thank you,but that is all. I love her and miss her so badly i can’t it.What should I do before I go insane?

  82. Hi Adrian I’ve been married for 9 years we’re not divorced yet but separated. I realize I wasn’t in the right place and found my way back in the right place I’ve change somewhat but not full changed. We do speak we do hangout here and there but with the kids. I do love my wife with everything I love. She is talking to another guy and we talked and I’ve came and told her I was selfish and only thought of my self. She looked me in he eye and said thank you for your honesty but her feelings are not there yet. I’ve been giving her space and this been going on for 2 months I’m lost right now and still everyday finding myself and making things better. I don’t bring up her new relationship at all but we do have a great time when we are together. I want my wife of 9 years and my best friend of 20 years what do I do from here please help.

    1. Hi Rey,
      Thanks for reaching out and I”m sorry to hear about your current situation. I can tell that, considering your situation, a tailored approach will be your best chance at turning everything around, which I am confident you can do. I invite you to considering coaching a one-on-one with Adrian or myself, we’re here to help :
      Wishing you the best!
      Coach N

      1. Thanks for responding back I definitely need help but financially I can’t do it it’s to much on me right now.

        Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

  83. Arian,

    My wife moved out 3 months ago after becoming distant 6 or 7 months ago. I did not beg and become needy, rather I explained to her, with some work, the benefits that this can help us start a new better phase of the marriage. We dated since high school and married in 2001. She has indicated she is not sure if she wants this life any longer and she will always love me, but not in love with me. We do not have children. She indicated I became stagnant in the marriage, my growth and my passion towards her. I have spent the last 3 months working on myself; going to the gym, joining meetup groups, embracing meditation and spirituality, and embracing new challenges previously foreign to me. Overall, I vibrate at a higher level as a man. She says she notices the changes in me, but that they also anger her as in she wanted to work on these with me. When confronting her she makes small comments to how she feels sad many days, but she is also a strong independent career woman. She has most of the control in this separation as I am the one that has to reach out most days and the couple of times we met for a drink I had to organize it and work around her schedule. I try not to push back much for concern it will just create a wall and I don’t want to lose communication. I am completely confident in our love, I am one of the few people to see into her soul, but I feel she only knows the hurt and confusion she has felt for a while and cannot see the possibility of this man before her.

    1. Hi JP,
      Thank you for reaching out. It seems to me like the way in which you communicated or showcased your changed may have not been conducive to the results you want – I invite you to schedule a session with either Coach Adrian or myself. We’re here to help you through this.
      Wishing you the best today and always,
      Coach N

  84. My wife asked for a break. This is what’s going on I regretfully have been distant and emotionally withdrawn from her. I have been making her feel sketchy by always asking why it took so long or why do you look away when you say you love me or asking why a guy would befriend a married woman. Now she won’t really talk to me or say I love you (u too). All I want is for her to give me the chance to show her how much I really do love her and trust her. I have been working on myself self. I have payed more attention to her and the kids, I don’t watch tv anymore it would consume me to much and when I was pulled away from it I was grumpy. Now I am trying so hard to show her that I have changed. It hasn’t been that long and I know it will take time but I was acting a little crazy at the beginning of all this I would follow her around and text her friends and family like crazy. I understand what I did and how to fix it on my part, I just want to help her with her feelings and needs. Please help as I do not have any extra money. All I want in the world is for us to life, love and happily grow old together. Thanks

  85. I’ve been reading a lot of these types of pages and this one feels the most real. I mean everyone has their own version of doing the same thing, but I like how this has been set up. The one common thing I keep finding through all of my research is a plan…

    Here’s my dilemma… I can’t find an example of one. I make a plan of my own and I’ve been following it. Things are going forwards and changing slowly and I have a LOT of patience. That’s not the problem. I feel as though I am missing some little things. The small stuff and the orders of doing them.

    My question is, is there a general template out there that can help me?

  86. Hi, my ex fiancee and myself lived together for 14yrs, we had our ups and downs but nothing to out of the ordinary. We have 4 beautiful children together varied ages from 12 to 2yrs. We seperated 14 months ago due to about 2 months of hard arguing caused by myself working out hard at the gym and due to bad decisions taking steroids. I gave her some real jip but luckily one day came to my senses and cleaned myself up but it was too late. She left and took the kids, she was angry with me and said the trust we shared was long gone. I did the usual pleading, constant texting and calling only to push her away completely. She now has her own house and independence and seems happy.
    The only thing is we still click, if we speak on the phone we speak for hours, we laugh and giggle. We can sit and talk about the kids, come to decision really easy together. But on the flip side she gives me no signs she would ever get back together.
    The thing is I love her so much and really would like to put our family back together, I’ve done all the things that are suggested. I’ve sorted myself out, really embraced being a dad and spend every moment I can with the kids, worked on my pitfalls and improved myself no end.
    I’m just not sure where to go next in relation to reconciling back with her without ruining what little relationship I have left with her. I love her so much

  87. Hi Adrian, I have been with my wife for 10 yrs. Married for 5yrs. 2 yrs. Ago my wife left our marriage for 2 weeks. We were having issues with me not paying enough attention to her and I also had jealousy our issues. I had went to church counseling that only lasted for 4 day. 2 of which my wife went with me. Long story short. We work out are problems and she came home. All was well and going good until I started to slip back into the same routine. I didn’t have the jealousy issues this time. But me not paying attention to her started to come up in a lot of conversations. And another issue came up this time around. I have a son from a previous marriage. He was 22 at the time and needed a place to stay. I moved him in to my wife and I house. My mistake was I never discussed it with my wife. I was figuring that because he was my son it would be fine. But unfortunately I was mistaken. We have had quite a few arguments over it. My wife would complain about home being disrespectfully to her and how he didn’t have any respect toward her. I knew his stay was going to be short term, so I would normally dismiss it. Which in turn started to make my wife resent me. I lost her trust and made her feel as if she was no longer being put first. And then over time she came to the conclusion that she was living again. So now she’s been gone for 1 month today. With no intention of returning. I went through the typical melt down. I pleaded and begged her not to do it. But now she’s gone. We finally talked for the first time in 2 weeks last nite over the phone. Needless to say. The conversation didn’t go the way I wanted it to go. I ask her if she was missing me, and she says no! I ask her if she still loves me. She says yes, but it’s a different kind of love. She was also telling me that she felt like she was trapped and had to leave. So I’m at a loss, and very concerned that it really might be over. I love this woman with all my heart. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Please help!

    1. Hi Eli,
      Thanks for reaching and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I will say, that your situation is very complex, and in order to develop a gameplan, we’ll have to have more information/context. This being said, I invite you to consider scheduling a coaching session with Coach Adrian or myself. You can do this by visiting the “coaching” tab on this site.
      Wishing you the very best always.
      Coach N

  88. Hi Adrian i have married almost 14 years in that time i have been a good man a a bad man . When we first go together she was pregnet with another mans baby we started off as friends and when she ended it with her boyfriend we go closer we started talking and in 2 weeks we were living together . we did not any sex for the first few weeks i did not wont to rush it i did not now were this was going so i played it slow but after the first time she told me that she felt like we were meant for each other still i played it cool i liked her alot but was not sure . when the baby came the father shows up im there we bolth are the room with her i stood back because thats not my baby it hers and his so i let them have there time together it was three or four minutes later he leaves and i go in and she was crying i now what had happened he was being mean to her because i was there with her i let it go and made her feel better we talked all night holding the baby and such it was after all that. four years later we get married im scared i went throu a bad divorce allready was not wonting to do that again . so we are married things are going good then ok then bad then back again . we go throu rough times we stay together work it all out things look good then just out of the blue on the 26 of september she tells me she filed for a divorec my heart hit the flood she said she found some one eles i just she had been talking to this guy about ower marriage and she said they wer going throu the same thing so they just clicked she said i moved out on the 4 of september and with 2 hours she was down at his place having sex with him .i found out fro ppl that live in the apartment conplex all this info she was never going to tell me i guess .im lost hurt and confused i love my wife and i love my kids i need help getting her back please help me fix her heart ty.

    1. Hi Jess,
      Thanks for reaching out. I’ve just shared your story with Adrian, who invites you to schedule a one-on-one with him. You’re in great hands 🙂
      Coach N.

  89. Hi Ellis,
    Thanks for reaching out – in reality, there’s so much you can do with this situation. First start by thinking of the changes you’ll have to make in order to regain her trust. Is it possible? I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Coach Adrian or myself. We can help.
    Coach N

  90. Hi Adrian, my wife said she is leaving me and has a solicitor appointment on Monday. I have neglected my wife and my children over the last 6 years and focused too much on my work. My relationship has been strained with my eldest son and my wife is very angry with me on this. I have given my wife my word that I will and have already started to change myself and my habits but she has said she cant go back and her family have told her she has to choose them or me. I love my family dearly and I’m not a bad person but I’m close to breaking point. I need some help. Paul

    1. Hi Paul,
      Thanks for reaching out to Adrian and I, and I’m so sorry to hear about all that is happening in your life. It’ll be important for you to identify how things would be different in the future, if you want to keep her. I invite you to consider speaking with Coach Adrian in a one-on-one coaching session. He can help.
      Coach Natalie

  91. well sir,i hope you were here in Philippines. I really want to talk to you. I am really depressed right now, weve been together for 8 years though were not married(seems normal in our country)but we have 1 handsome baby. She’s in the other country when she decided to end our relationship. I have cheated my wife,go think any form of bastard i was but i really regret that. She told me that she was fed up,and told me that she gave up on me. She didnt see any efforts coming from me even when we were still in good condition for her to feel loved and secured, even told me that we cant be happy anymore. Damn man I regret all the missed opportunities i had.

    1. Hi Kenneth,
      Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. Adrian can help – and I think a session with him may be something to consider at some stage. If you’d like to connect with him, please visit this link :
      Coach Natalie

  92. Hi Adrian,
    I’ve been with my common law wife for 7 yrs, she feels like I grew distant from the relationship and emotionally cheated a couple weeks ago and we separated. I know my mistakes I’ve been correcting all of them, im being a fully into saving this relationship we have two kids both under three, my son is 4 months, I didn’t help as much as I should have when it came to getting ready for his arrival, I used to be a one answer guy, mainly bc we fought through out relationship but I never cheated, I did sleep with two women after a split she’s now basically doing the same thing but not actually sleeping with them but it’s eating me alive bc we have no contact we talk but no romance everything I’m trying is met with the more you push I push back. I’ve changed she hasn’t had to do anything like house work, I tell her I love her no response, but she doesn’t want me to leave but doesn’t know what she’s feeling, how can I prove to her I’m a better man than I was and I can be the partner she wants

    1. Hi Bo,
      I’m sorry to hear about your current situation – I can imagine how painful this is to endure. You need to ask yourself how the two of you really got here, and what you’d have to do differently in the future in order to keep her. That’s the general strategy. Don’t rush this process, and if you’re looking for details, I can help you and invite you to schedule a coaching session.
      Coach Natalie

  93. we are married for 20 years and have two children. 2 week ago out of the blue (for me) my wife left our house and refuses to come back unless i move out. i love her dearly. Does the mirror technique mean that you are supposed to do what your wife tell you to do? like move out of the house?

    1. Hi XXX,
      Thanks for reaching out. I feel that the first step here is to really identify why she’s saying this. If you don’t know why, then maybe that’s the problem. Really, really reflect on this. If you dig deep enough, you can discover the answer.

  94. my name is johnson i got married year back.. i was in love with my spouse from last 12 years.. she was just 18 when we fell in love and i was 22. we married after 11 years… in between from last 4 years she fell in love with other guy and due to family force she had to marry me. even after more than a year she is with me as a friend or flat partner , we have no physical relation. she never hugs me or kisses me and not allowing me to touch her. i love her like anything. but she has no love passion for me what she had 10 years back. kindly help me how to get her back how to get her feelings for me back.. sometimes i feel to end my life.. kindly help me to get her back.

  95. Hi Adrian. My wife and I met when she was 18 and I was 19. We were married a year after our first date, a month after our first born son. We now have 3 children. Back in 2015 she was talking to a man who’s name in her phone was saved as Samantha. While she admits it was an affair she swears there was no sexual contact. After I caught her she said that she wasn’t in love with me and hadn’t been for a while. She agreed to work on us and it seemed like everything was better, we even created our third child. But she’s been distant for 3 months now and I found that she’d been texting a man named Adam. During the conversation she admitted that she’d called into work to go have sex with him. Again, she said she hadn’t been in love with me for a while, perhaps months or even a year. Again, she agreed to work on us. But the next day she called me at work and told me that she’d moved into her friend Michelle’s apartment and that the kids wouldn’t be there when I got home. We’re now separated and she’s seeing Adam. At first she was completely ignoring texts and calls. But in the past week she seems okay to talk to me as long as I don’t talk about Adam or ask her to move back in. She even hugged me when she came back to pack some things. She says she’ll always love me but her feelings are no longer romantic. She says she’s in love with Adam. Yet in the same conversation she said that she doesn’t see her relationship lasting because he wants kids of his own and she’s physically unable to give him that. I’m completely at a loss. I don’t know what she wants but it seems she would rather live in a hotel than live with me. When tax season comes she said she’ll file for divorce. I love this woman with all my heart and by her own words I’ve always been a good husband and a good man. It’s just that when she looks at Adam she sees someone fun. And when she looks at me she’s reminded of our bills, children, responsibility, etc. I don’t know how to turn this around or if it’s even possible but I want nothing more than to be married to her. We’ve made it to our 12 year anniversary and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Please help

  96. Hey Adrian, my wife has Asperger’s and has recently said, after 3 years of marriage, that she never loved me to begin with and that she is embarrassed of me. I have been reading many articles to try to find anything I can do to try to make this work. I think she said these hurtful things, because she wanted to ensure I gave her space. We have a 2 year old daughter. She is a stay at home mom, and I work full-time. I am curious how the no contact phase is supposed to work with my daughter? We are also christians and I would like to seek spiritual couples counseling, but she has already moved out and I don’t know how to go about asking her to participate in that, given the rest of your advice in the article. Any help would be appreciated.

  97. Hello Mike,

    Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like there has been incredible growth between you and your ex, so I congratulate you on this. As for your question in regards to your daughter, she may come around with her mother once she sees that the two of you continue to have a healthy interaction. There may have been some more details on why your daughter feels this way. For us to correctly guide you I invite you to schedule a session with us so we can go over the details of this relationship.
    WMEA Team

  98. Hello Jason,
    Thank you for your comment. I know right now can be tough but the best advice I can give you here is to work on yourself and show this through actions. I have something that I think will guide if you cannot schedule a private coaching session with us. I encourage you to schedule a session with us if you want to get a tailored game plan.
    WMEA Team

  99. Hi Adrian I’ve been with my wife for 22 years married for 9 she’s just told me she doesn’t love me anymore I’ve moved out, she says she doesn’t hate me and I still adore her 2 months ago she would text me saying she loves and adores me, and how’s my wonderful husband, etc, so how are we here now, weve been here before 2 years ago we split,we still talk and get along fine but she repeatedly says she doesn’t love me and there’s no way back. Help please

    1. Hello Jay,
      Thank you for your comment. It seems as though something was lost along the way. Something may have happened to you and your wife’s chemistry. I cannot give advice as I know there is more to the story and its hard to give exact advice tailored to you here. Since this is something so important to you, I highly recommend for you to schedule a session with me so I can help you get to your goals.
      Coach Adrian

  100. Hello Jaime,
    Since I do not know the context of the relationship it would be hard for me to give you tailored advice without a coaching session. Please visit our YouTube channel as we have so much free advice around this. Also, here is a link to our private coaching if you feel called to work with us.
    WMEA Team

  101. Hello Dave,
    Thank you for sharing your story!
    I would advise to start by writing a proper handwritten letter in order to start a new dynamic, a new beginning of sorts. You can find more info about how to write a perfect letter to an ex here: https://www.withmyexagain.c
    After this it will take time to get the seduction back into the relationship. These means doing and trying new things together. So this will take time and effort to fix your relationship…but it is possible!
    Your next step will be to prove your changes through actions and not words.
    I could help you come up with a solid game plan if you are committed to doing everything possible to make things right.
    The best would then be for you to book a coaching session with me in order for us to take the time to put a tailored game plan in place and have your wife see you in a different light.
    Coach Adrian

  102. Hello Danny,
    We can help you get there.
    I know these times can be very difficult but we will challenge you to change your mindset, change your dynamics of the relationship with actions, and feel like you have more control where your wife will be more responsive. We hope to hear from you soon. If you book a session please put coach Adrian and I will be in touch.
    Coach Adrian

  103. Hello Chantra,
    I invite you to reach out to use for a coaching session so we can discuss the dynamics of the relationship. I advice you to possibly write a hand written letter and we can help you with this during our coaching session. Its important you heal the past issue in order to move forward. We hope to hear from you soon.
    WMEA Team

  104. Scott,
    I know this is incredibly difficult but you have to do right for you and your kids. Your feelings and emotions to get her back right now can not only ruin her life but the children too. The best thing to do is focus on you and develop your life to become more stable and show her and the family as time goes on. Shifting your focus on moving forward and developing yourself will be key in time to bettering this situation.
    WMEA Team

  105. Marenghi,
    WOW! Those are some incredible shifts. We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts. We love seeing comments and breakthroughs like yours. Keep your eye on the prize, do whats right for you and the relationship, and keep fighting the good fight! Great job!
    WMEA Team

  106. Hello Marenghi,
    If you think she wouldn’t get offended by this then yes. I think its a great idea. You both should do it separately. If you think she might get offended then slowly discuss it with her. If she is looking to do the work as well then 100% this is something great for the both of you.
    WMEA Team

  107. Hi Adrian, I have an interesting situation. My wife and I married 4 years ago. We are recently separated and I’m preparing to file for dissolution. Our problem was my anger and verbal abuse and her alcohol abuse. She has not turn off switch when it comes to drinking. I adopted our now 8 year old son at the age of 6. I love my wife very much and it has been a heartbreaking couple of months. She moved out got an apartment, where she signed a year lease, and initially agreed to marriage counseling, but showed up to our first session, just to tell me she is done and there will be no reconciliation. Since that time i have witnessed her in a bar with another man kissing etc. This of course killed me. How can you do that after only two months of separation. But because of her alcohol abuse, I’m having to file to try and get a judge to impose a no drinking order. I know once I file and get the order in place she will hate me even more; but all I’m trying to do is help her and our family stay together.

  108. Hello Dustin,
    I know this is difficult right now but showing her that you have changed will be key in her recognizing you. What I would suggest is to show up in ways you may have not before. If you would like a tailored session please feel free to reach out o me so we can move forward.
    WMEA Team

  109. Hello Steve,
    Something drew your wife to feel this way. I am assuming something was lost in this marriage. Its hard for me to give you advice but I don’t think this is your last hope. I encourage you to reach out to me so we can fix this together.
    WMEA Team

  110. Hi Adrian I was married for 14 months as of today, My wife left home 5 days back stating she can’t take anymore is fed up. I have been browsing the web for a while now and come across ways of bring her back and during my search I came to No contact rule which I have started but fortunately this is our second fight. Our last fight was in October 2017 where I apologized and brought her back but by doing this she turned me into a doormat. This is our second fight and this time she left without any information.
    During our fight in October we sat and tried compromise with family elders but the event turn side ways because her brother started threatening me and my family, I still got down and apologized as I valued our relationship. After her return I felt I have been compromising a lot from my end however this has made me realize everytime if

    1. Hello Ali,
      Thank you for your comment. I highly advise you to book a coaching session with us so we can go over the exact dynamics of the relationship. I cannot give you the right advice as there are plenty of answers needed leading up to this. I hope I hear from you soon. Let’s work on getting your wife back into your life. This time for good!
      WMEA Team

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