The Ultimate Roadmap in 30 Nuggets of Wisdom
Helping people just like you is our passion. We understand how important it is to get back with an ex that you still love.
Our mission is to share our philosophy and our techniques with as many people as possible and to empower individuals across the world with the tools, guidance, and confidence they need to get back with the one who has your heart.
That’s why we are delighted to be able to unveil this resource to help you learn everything there is to know about the process of getting back with an ex. We understand what it feels like to be in love and to feel powerless, so we have decided to provide you with the — ultimate guide on how to get back with your ex — completely free of charge!
This is probably the most comprehensive free road map on how to get back with an ex available on the internet today. Our goal is to provide you with a free resource that can show exactly what you need to do, no matter what situation you encounter, and to prove to the person you love that YOU are the one that can make them happy in the long run and help them fulfill their dreams!
Through 30 nuggets of wisdom in this – ultimate roadmap on getting back with an ex – you will find amazing insights in the following 10 areas:
- How to get back with your ex when you don’t know where to start?
- Why getting back with an ex takes courage and objectivity?
- Understand that getting back together will also require creativity
- The “I want my ex back and I am prepared to do anything” attitude!
- How to get your ex back by winning the power struggle
- How to get someone back no matter what after a breakup
- Getting your ex back under special circumstances
- How to get an ex back the second time around!
- How to win someone back forever
- Getting back with your ex and staying happy together
We want you to know that you are not alone, and that we care about you and how you’re feeling right now. Please know that your goal of getting back with your significant other is also our goal!
Enjoy this roadmap on us, and good luck in your quest to get back with the one you love!
Adrian & Alex
Your relationships experts from the Love Coach Team at WithMyExAgain.com
How to get back with your ex when you don’t know where to start?
If you are no longer with the one you love but still have very strong feelings, at first it can be overwhelming when trying to get over a breakup. You feel like part of you is missing and that you won’t ever be whole again until you get that special someone back into your life. If you don’t know where to turn and are just simply looking for help and support to figure out how to get back with your ex, this is probably the best place to start!
1. You must first understand the reasons behind the breakup
If you don’t understand what went wrong and why your ex no longer felt compelled to be with you, it will be extremely difficult to make them want to get back together or make your ex trust your ability to make them happy in the long run.
The starting point for anyone looking to get back with an ex should be to look to answer this simple question: where did things go wrong in our previous relationship and why?
You are going to have to dig a bit deeper than the usual clichés in order to feel confident about how to get back with your ex. You are basically setting the stage or the foundation for the entire process; it is fundamental to make sure that you will be able to convey to your ex that you now understand how they feel and that you are prepared to evolve in order not to commit the same mistakes! That’s key in figuring out the answer to the question you’ve been asking yourself: how to make my ex want me back!
2. Your ex simply feels that you can no longer make them happy
A fundamental realization that you must come to terms with before setting your sights on convincing the one you love to get back with you is the following; your ex probably left you (if they are the one that broke up) because they felt like you could no longer make them happy.
Despite what they may have said or what you may think, it’s probably not a matter of emotions; they did not all of a sudden lose their feelings for you overnight.
Your ex simply lost faith in your ability to make them happy in the long run. It’s the key to getting to your ultimate goal of getting back together. Prove that you can make them happy permanently and you will have succeeded in getting back with the one you love!
So now you know that figuring out how to get back with your ex has most likely nothing to do with love and everything to do with trust and happiness.
Getting back with an ex takes courage and objectivity
The process of getting back with an ex is not always easy. If it was you wouldn’t be doing research on the internet and you wouldn’t seek the help of relationship experts. One of the most challenging aspects of this process is the need to be self-critical and to constantly ask yourself the right questions to make sure that you act the right way and not fall into any of the pitfalls along the way.
3. Introspection – Ask yourself the right questions
It is absolutely essential for you to maintain some perspective throughout the journey of getting back with an ex. Above and beyond trying to figure out what you did wrong and preparing in the right way every step of the way; you will also need to get inside your ex’s head in order to figure out what they may be thinking at any given time.
This applies to your past relationship during arguments or conflicts that you may have gotten into, to the actual breakup, but also moving forward while trying to win back their heart. In order to really understand what your ex felt or feels and to come up with the right approach to connect and touch their heart, you will need to consider the 360-degree approach
It will enable you to understand why both of you felt a certain way about specific issues that caused conflict in your relationship.
By taking into account each other’s romantic past, childhood, education, fears, insecurities, dreams and aspirations; you will put yourself in the best possible position to understand what went wrong and what your ex’s real and hidden expectations are; even when they cannot voice it themselves!
4. Be self-critical
It can be tough to acknowledge that we messed up or that we could have done something better. Your ego takes a hit and you can make yourself feel worse before feeling better when engaging in such a process. But getting back with an ex will require you to put your pride aside and to figure out exactly where you went wrong and what pushed you to act a certain way
What can be scary is realizing deeper issues that you have; one’s that go beyond your previous relationship. Sometimes you don’t know where to start to try to resolve these issues and you can quickly begin to feel overwhelmed or even powerless. But don’t succumb to your fears and force yourself to face these issues head-on.
You will feel so empowered as soon as you actually start this process and when you begin to pinpoint exactly what has been holding you back.
There are many great resources out there; books, videos, and experts like us who can help you to get past certain deep-rooted issues. But you must have the will power to face your shortcomings and to engage in a process of change!
5. Were you too needy?
As discussed previously it is essential to understand where things went wrong when you establish the goal of getting back with an ex! The most common mistake that people make which ultimately leads to a breakup is being too needy.
You love the person that you are with so much that you become unable to control your emotions and fall into a sort of emotional dependence to them. In other words you need their attention and validation in order to be happy or fulfilled on the day to day.
Did you completely cut out your social life? Do you no longer hang with your friends? Did you constantly find yourself being in demand of your ex’s time to do certain activities together as opposed to doing them alone? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions the odds are that you were in fact too needy.
Instead of valuing your efforts to connect and the sacrifices you’ve made, your ex began to feel as if you were becoming a burden. Furthermore, you were no longer a challenge to them; and unfortunately you started being unappreciated and even disposable in their eyes.
6. Did you neglect your ex?
Some people find themselves at the opposite end of the spectrum. Their mistake wasn’t that they were too needy but on the contrary that they completely neglected their ex and their relationship.
You may have put all of your energy into your career or simply be overwhelmed by work; you could also have spent too much time with friends or focused most of your energy and time on a hobby or passion. Whatever the case may be you clearly did not give your ex the attention and care that they needed and deserved.
Once you are able to pinpoint the issue that caused your ex to lose faith in your capacity to make them happy in the long run, you will be in a better position to understand what you need to do to prove over time that you have changed.
Keep in mind that getting back with an ex can take some time depending on how bad things got between you and your ex; how the breakup occurred; or if you committed major mistakes (like begging, crying, etc.) hoping to quickly get back together!
Getting back together will require creativity
Getting back together with the one you love will require you to think outside the box and give serious consideration to what you can do to prove to your ex that you have evolved. If you keep doing the same things that you were doing during your relationship, and if you try to communicate with your ex in the same way; how can you reasonably expect a different outcome?
7. Find potential solutions
Now that you have taken the time to understand your mistakes and where things went wrong; you will need to use your brainpower to come up with potential solutions in order to prove to your ex that you have evolved and to make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes over and over again.
What’s important here is that getting back together will require you to stay accountable for the potential solutions that you will come away with after your brainstorming session. In order to maximize your chances of success write out your goals on a piece of paper and try to make your resolutions as tangible as possible.
Incorporate a when and how to everything that you will set out to achieve; for example write down every Friday I will run 3 miles. This is a simple yet perfectly formulated goal as you will know every Saturday morning whether you stayed on course or if you are slacking!
8. Come up with a game plan
To take it a step further I want you to come up with a game plan to meet your ultimate goal of getting back together. This was a trap and you probably fell right into it!
You should know by now that your focus should be to prove to your ex that you can make them happy over time and that they can trust you! If you are able to put together a game plan to achieve this endeavor you will de facto succeed in getting back with the one you love by association. Your ex will actually be the one to try to get back with you!
So how can you put together this game plan and make sure that it’s right for you? Well, you already have identified your mistakes and potential actions to implement in order to change. You now have to incorporate a communication strategy; how you plan to engage with your ex and when.
Then you need to set checkpoints by taking a goal minded approach in your daily life. Set goals on a daily, weekly, and even monthly basis in order to have a bird’s eye view of where you are and where you need to go.
9. Stay active
One of the keys to getting back together will be your ability to stay active and not let your sadness or depression lead to inaction. It is very common to want to stay on your couch, not do anything, or have no desire to see anyone after a breakup. The issue is that if you do not force yourself to stay active and to undertake certain actions, you will keep digging yourself further and further down the hole.
The best way to overcome this negative spiral is to have projects, to try new things, or to engage in sporting activities. Going for a run or to the gym will enable you to get rid of negative energy by tiring yourself out! So please force yourself to get out of your place and to do something productive during your downtime!
The “I want my ex back and I am prepared to do anything” mindset!
It’s not going to be enough to just say “I want my ex back”, snap your fingers, and get back together. You really need to have a strong desire to be with the one you love and to be prepared to put in the work! However it’s not just a question of effort, it’s also a question of being in the right mindset and to regain some self-esteem.
10. Regain your self-esteem
Following a breakup, I have seen men and women that are very strong lose all of their self-esteem. Being able to handle this feeling of rejection from the person that you love and deeply care for is very challenging. In some cases especially after years of marriage, your whole world can be shattered and you are left trying to pick up the pieces.
So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite possibly my soul mate” I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell for you, if you were able to inspire and seduce them the first time around, it means that you have tons of qualities to offer as well.
Never forget that during your pursuit! You too deserve to feel valued and it is essential to spend a lot of time with friends or family members; people that you love and trust and that love you back as well in order to regain some comfort and security in the days or weeks that follow after a breakup.
11. You need to believe that you can win him/her back
If you don’t believe in your chances of getting back together how can you hope that your ex will believe in you? How can they reasonably expect that you will be able to make them happy?
Self-confidence is an essential trait when it comes to getting back with an ex; you will need to have faith in yourself in order to survive the emotional roller-coaster of the process of getting back with an ex.
It is possible to work to reprogram your brain or change certain beliefs. If you are severely lacking confidence in yourself and your ability to prove to your ex and that you can make them happy; try doing one of my favorite self-help exercises; write down in the present tense something on a yellow sticky that you are hoping to accomplish as if you had already achieved your goal.
So instead of writing, “I want my ex back and to be happy”, write down I am back with my ex and have proved that I can make him or her happy. Stick this note on your bathroom mirror and read it out loud 5 times in the morning and at night for a period of at least 21 days.
At the same time, start to put other actions that we have suggested in motion in your daily life. Before you know it you will start to live out this change and achieve the goal that you have set out to accomplish. You can convince yourself to believe that you are capable of getting back with your ex, and achieve that goal!
12. Be prepared to change
You won’t be able to reach your goal of being with the one you love if you are not prepared to stretch your comfort zone and evolve in a positive way.
It may sound like common sense but you’d be surprised to know that many people hope to get back with someone they deeply care for but do nothing to change some of their negative habits or behaviors. Most of the time there are no magic tricks or quick fixes that can bring back the one you love into your life if you haven’t sorted out some of the negative behaviors from your previous relationship.
So when I hear someone tell me I want my ex back, I always ask them if they are prepared to change or to evolve in positive sense to make their ex want to be with them again. If you are ready to step out of your comfort zone and in certain instances re-visit some of the preconceived notions or beliefs that you may hold about yourself and your ex, then anything is possible!
Get your ex back by winning the power struggle
Every relationship is a power struggle. It may not sound very good to hear and you may not agree but that’s how I see it. You can believe in love, compassion, and valuing your partner and still understand that at some point it becomes a power struggle between you and the person you love; in order to live out a type of relationship that mirrors who you are and your values.
The key isn’t to be overbearing and to tilt it entirely in your favor because your partner won’t be happy and will leave you as well.
What we prone is a philosophy, one that pushes you to challenge your preconceived beliefs about your relationship and to find the right balance in order to enable love to flourish; and sometimes it requires you to shift the balance of power in your favor in order to get your ex back!
13. Don’t put your ex on a pedestal
A common mistake that people make during their relationship or right after the breakup is to put their ex on a pedestal. You either let your emotions get the best of you; love takes over and you try to profess your love to your ex by turning them into someone that you can say no to!
Even worse you start to lose your personality and what makes you appealing and unique in order to be something that you think that your ex wants you to be. But you are wrong! Your ex doesn’t want you to be a person who says yes to everything they say and who never stands up to them.
In order to get your ex back you are going to have to regain a sense of independence and change this type of behavior. It is tied to the notion of going back to the old you; the person that seduced and inspired your ex. Before you met your ex, you had a unique personality; you had core beliefs, projects, dreams, and aspirations.
Somewhere along the way you forgot about everything that you are and stand for; you changed for your ex and they left you for it!
14. The power struggle defined
What is a power struggle in a relationship and is it possible to be happy without engaging in one? Some people are able to find a rare form of balance and to be happy for a while in their relationship without having to impose their will on their partner.
It is however very very rare for this to happen; these couples are either emotionally disconnected to one another or exactly on the same page about their expectations in regards to their relationship, work/life balance, expectations on how to raise children, etc.
For most of us, this is simply impossible and so we try to impose our way of life, expectations, and sets of values on our partner when things aren’t going our way. Life throws curve-balls and you don’t always have the time, perspective, serenity, and confidence to figure out what you need to do to stay in perfect harmony with your partner; and to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
Whether if you’re madly in love with your significant other or looking to get your ex back it is very important for you to be aware of the power struggle. You also must continuously adjust according to the dynamics that you are both in; at times let go and other times take a stand and be a bit tougher with the one you love; out of love for them and to save your relationship from itself!
15. Radio Silence Technique: Understand the need to take some distance after a breakup
In order to get your ex back and to tilt the balance of power in your favor sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back and implement a radio silence. A no contact period of at least 3 weeks is the best way to shift the dynamic in your favor when your ex is stuck in their ways or when they want absolutely nothing to do with you.
This is also an amazing technique to implement when you have made tons of mistakes or if you have put your ex on a pedestal and completely tilted the balance of power in their favor.
It can be really beneficial to you because it will give you the space you need to regain your composure, set a game plan into motion if you haven’t yet done so, and also prevent you from making even more mistakes.
By giving your ex space you will also start to tilt the balance of power a little bit more in your favor because your ex will miss you and maybe even start to doubt their decision to leave. When you are all up in their business they can’t truly face the backlash of their decision to break up.
A radio silence can be that action that enables you to start to regain control of the process of getting back with your ex because it will be your decision not to reach out to them.
Remember that in this case a non-action (not reaching out to them) is in fact a very powerful action that will cause a reaction from your ex one way or the other; even if they don’t tell you how they feel when they don’t hear from you.
The radio silence will also be beneficial for your ex. If they broke up with you, they need space; remember a separation means a need for space! By providing them with that space they will be able to put things into perspective and realize certain things about you and your relationship.
At best they will realize how much you mean to them and that they cannot live without you; that life is more difficult when you aren’t apart of it rather than the other way around.
At worse they will be surprised that you are able to control your emotions and not reach out; they will start to wonder what you’ve been up to! Either way, the odds are that they will be a lot more receptive and even perhaps happy to hear from you after the radio silence, compared to how they felt before your no-contact period was enacted.
How to get someone back every time after a breakup?
There isn’t one universal method to getting an ex back; there’s no magic formula to figure out how to get someone back because every relationship is unique and every individual has their own personality, fears, desires, dreams, and aspirations. Getting back with someone you love and lost is an art; and we have mastered its different styles.
So we want to provide you with certain principles in order to drastically increase your chances of getting back with the one you love this time around.
16. Through newfound credibility and by re-establishing contact the right way
As we’ve discussed at great length your ex no longer trusts your ability to make them happy in the long run. Furthermore when you will tell your ex that you’ve understood some of the mistakes that you’ve made and that you are a changed person they probably won’t believe you.
Understand that your ex feels that you are incapable of changing in the way that they wished you would change; that’s why they broke up with you (if they did!) or why they don’t want to get back together.
So you will need to be credible when you approach your ex the next time around. You need to prove to them through actions and not through words that you are a new person. You have to showcase your change while doing certain things for yourself and not for them! Unfortunately, the best way to be credible is to really change; not to pretend.
So in reality, all that you really need to do to regain credibility and a certain interest from your ex is to do go through the right process of personal development and to keep steady over time. Your ex will have no choice then to acknowledge your new outlook and you will instantly regain credibility at that point!
It is also important that we spend some time talking about how to establish contact with your ex the right way. You cannot force the issue when reaching out to your ex; it needs to feel natural to the both of you in order to avoid any awkwardness. You can do it in person, over the phone, by text or on social media; but no matter what, it shouldn’t feel forced.
17. The Hand Written Letter
There’s something magical about putting thoughts on paper the old school way; with a pen and paper. I often suggest to the people that I speak to during private consultations to write a letter to their ex to communicate key messages in a different way, to prove their change, to surprise their ex, and to re-establish contact in an unorthodox manner.
There are certain rules to follow in order to write an efficient letter and in order for your letter to have the intended effect. You need to make sure that you have clearly identified what will be the overarching purpose of this letter. You need to communicate around no more than 3 key talking points or topics. Your letter cannot be too long; ideally around a page.
You cannot criticize your ex in your letter; you must stay positive and talk about the changes that you have already started to implement in your life following the breakup.
Depending on how things ended and if you are still in touch with your ex, you may want to try to ask them if you can see each other to discuss some of the things that you have finally realized about yourself and the mistakes that you’ve made during your previous relationships.
Other times the purpose of your letter can simply be to say I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you. Again you could write a letter to let your ex know that you are now confident that you can make them happy, that you realize where things went wrong; or that you are prepared to change in specific ways to make things right.
No matter what the case may be remember that your letter won’t be an end in itself.
It can shift the dynamic in your favor and you can touch your ex’s heart, but either way, you’ll still need to prove your change over time and live out the key messages that you touched upon in your letter.
Getting your ex back under special circumstances
Some breakups are more difficult than others. We try to provide you with as much relevant and tailored information as possible in order to cover as much ground as possible; but some situations are so unique that we can’t touch upon every possible scenario.
Getting your ex back under special circumstances is something that I really wanted to address for those of you whose ex left for someone else, or for those who broke up during or after a long-distance relationship.
18. What if they left me for someone else?
Even if your ex left you for someone else you can still find a way to win them back! Getting your ex back under these circumstances is of course more difficult but not impossible never the less.
One of the make or break point will be your ability to handle your emotions. It will be even more of a roller coaster than you anticipate because the thought of knowing that the one you love is in someone else’s arms can drive you crazy.
I understand perfectly what you are going through and can help you come up with a game plan to reach your goals; even under these circumstances!
You are going to have to pretend like that other person doesn’t exist; when you talk to your ex, when you are on social media (for your own sake and sanity), and even when friends and family try to bring up the fact that your ex is with someone else. You won’t accomplish anything positive by talking about their new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Instead, focus your energy on trying to reestablish communication with your ex casually. This process may take a while until you can finally get back with the one you love so you’ll have to be both patient and resilient.
The trick is going to be to prove to your ex over time that you are better suited than anyone else to make them happy. You need to try to stay positive when you around your ex and build on the fact that you have a shared history: humor, anecdotes of things that happened while you were together or even just small talk will help you make your ex feel comfortable and want to spend time with you.
Time will actually work in your favor because the odds are that your ex’s new relationship will be just a rebound; in time your ex will figure out that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence and that you were not the source of all of their unhappiness!
19. What if we were in a long distance relationship?
Getting your ex back following a long distance relationship can also be quite a challenge if you are unable to stay in contact with them. It is necessary to try to maintain some contact, even if it’s just an email exchange every month or so, otherwise, it can become a lot more difficult quite quickly.
The first bit of advice that I have for you is to not let the distance overwhelm you. Realize that there’s probably nothing that you can do to change this factor otherwise you probably wouldn’t have been in a long distance relationship to begin with.
You’re going to need to be super resilient and to focus all of your energy on your own personal development and growth. Understand that despite the distance your ex will still notice a change in your behavior and outlook. You will need to evolve quickly and to showcase that change through the communication platform that you’ll have maintained.
Don’t try to talk your ex into changing their mind on the basis of your emotions or the way that you feel about them; you should definitely not plea or beg them to take you back as well!
Play the “let’s at least stay friends card” and wait for your opportunity to strike! It’s easy for your ex to feel a certain way when you are miles away. But once your ex sees you again, no matter when that’ll be if you have been able to work on your personal development it can be quite easy for you to re-seduce them once again.
Odds are that attraction to one another will still be there. You’ll have plenty to talk about and you should both be really happy to reconnect if you are in fact seeing each other organically; so don’t force a rendez-vous!
Try to be a bit patient and take a long-term approach to getting back together. If your ex is your soul mate or the person that you know you want to be with, it should be worth the wait!
20. Don’t be afraid to seek the help of experts in the field!
When you are facing a very difficult breakup recovery; if your ex left you for someone else, if you were in a long distance relationship or if your ex wants nothing to do with you; I strongly suggest that you seek the help of experts in the field in order to get the support you need to meet your goals!
Let’s face it, there’s nothing wrong with needing support sometimes; people have trainers to get in shape, go seek the help of nutritionists to stabilize their diet, or go see an instructor to learn an instrument. Your love life is just as important as all these things, and you should invest in your heart too for your overall well-being!
Most of the time getting your ex back is still possible if you have the right attitude and mindset; if you are willing to be patient and to put in the work! Our experience in the field will enable us to advise you based on what you are currently going through.
We will provide you with a tailored game plan and concrete actions that you can implement right away to start to shift the balance of power in your favor and to make your ex miss you!
Helping people get back with the one they love and to reach their goals is our passion. We understand that in order to do our work in the best possible way, we need to fully invest ourselves in people’s lives in order to understand the intricacies of their relationship and what they are currently going through.
It becomes our process and not just your own. We are available every single day, 365 days a year because we recognize that your love for your ex has no boundaries or days off! So if you are serious about doing everything possible to get back with your ex, don’t wait any longer and reach out to me or to a relationship expert from the love coach team here at WithMyExAgain.com.
How to get an ex back the second time around!
If you are still looking into how to get an ex back you’ll need to realize that it’s not about getting back together and more about seducing the one you love again. When you speak about getting back together you run the risk of subconsciously seeking to fall back into the same dynamics that led to a breakup in your first relationship.
I would like to take the time to emphasize the need to start anew and to break free from your old relationship in order to truly create something new!
21. The second first date
When putting together a plan on how to get an ex back you have to think about your second first date; the second time that you will go out with your ex with the hope of reconnecting as lovers and not just as friends!
You must prepare for this second first date in order not to let your emotions overwhelm you and not let your ex dominate you as well. It’s so easy to fall into a dynamic where you either put your ex on a pedestal again or you show them that you are still in love and looking to get back together.
The trick for you will be to play it cool and to just focus on having a good time. Remember we are trying to prove to an ex that we can make them happy! This date should be about proving that you can both get along just fine and not fight or argue even though you are no longer together. You shouldn’t under any circumstances bring up past issues.
You shouldn’t even talk about your previous relationship altogether because we are trying to break away from the old in order to create something new.
Instead, make sure you emphasize the new activities and projects that you have taken on since the breakup. Prove to your ex that you are active and in a positive dynamic; doing interesting things, and have tons of new endeavors. Speak with excitement and smile to convey a renewed positive energy.
Don’t force the issue and remember that it’s always better to go home a little earlier rather than pushing the envelope and ruining a great evening at the very end of your date!
22. Surprise your ex
Your ability to surprise your ex can make or break your chances of ultimately getting back together. In fact, the element of surprise is so important in this process that when I’m asked how to get an ex back during one on one coaching sessions I sometimes simply answer surprise your ex! I obviously later go on to explain at great length why surprising an ex is important and how you should go about it!
If you are able to surprise your ex in a positive way, it will mean that you have somehow evolved and that you are no longer who your ex thought you were! Once you are able to do something that they don’t expect, you will plant a seed of doubt in their head and they will start to question everything.
Once you reach this stage you will be one step closer to reaching your goal of getting back together; especially if you can continuously keep surprising them in a good way!
Surprise your ex through actions that you have planned to undertake since the breakup; through a new-found perspective and by being more positive and happier than they expect you to be!
There are a million different ways for you to showcase that you have evolved positively or to do something that they would never expect you to do in a million years. Think about criticisms that your ex used to voice in your regard and start to put specific actions in place that will enable you to overcome some of your shortcomings.
For example, if your ex thought that you were too selfish, start doing some community service once a week. You can go to a homeless shelter and make sandwiches for the needy or you could volunteer at a nearby hospital to spend time with the elderly.
You won’t say to your ex that you are no longer selfish; they wouldn’t believe you anyway. But you can talk to them about your community service endeavors and how rewarding it can be for you feel, and in the process impress the person that you want to be with and prove that you have changed!
23. Reverse Psychology applied to getting your ex back
If you try to take your ex head on and force them to change their mind you will probably meet a lot of resistance and never quite get to where you want to go. It’s quite simple it is impossible to force someone to love you, but you can make them fall in love with you if you put the right actions in place and if you are a little bit clever in your approach!
Reverse psychology is a technique where you do or say the opposite of what your intended end result is going to be. If you do a bit of research about this principle and look to incorporate this technique in your game plan, it is possible for you to make your ex want to be with you quicker than otherwise anticipated!
How to get an ex back through reverse psychology? Well, you can start by engaging in their game of bluff! I hear people tell me the following all the time: “my ex says they don’t love me anymore”; or “My ex boyfriend said that he still has feelings but that it’s probably best that we stop seeing each other”; or “My ex girlfriend says that all she wants is for me to find someone else and to be happy”!
Pardon my French but this is usually a bunch of horse crap! Your ex probably does not believe these words or types of statements. They are either trying to convince you to stop pursuing them; trying to make themselves think that they have moved on; or trying to prove to other people that you are indeed no longer together.
Take a leap of faith and do exactly what your ex suggests that you should do to move on. Obviously, you shouldn’t take it all the way and really move on altogether or never reach out to them again. But let them doubt for a few weeks or even a few months if you were on the brink or divorced after a long marriage; push them to the brink to see if they are really capable of assuming their words.
If you are able to control your emotions, your ex will often times crack before you do and try to get back with you!
24. Re-seduce your ex!
No matter what if you are looking to get back with the one you love you’ll have to seduce them in some way and make them fall for you. Seduction isn’t always about physique and sex appeal. You can seduce an ex through a musical instrument for example if you are gifted; through your music, you could inspire them and touch their heart.
If you are passionate or gifted about something positive or constructive the odds are that you can seduce your ex again while engaging in that activity where you find yourself in your element! Of course, if your ex dumped you because you focused too much of your time on your passion (i.e. your musical instrument) and neglected them perhaps it’s best to try another approach.
But no matter what you’ll have to seduce your ex and inspire them to get back together. Getting an ex back is often linked to your ability to be yourself and to not let your emotions or feelings change who you are at your core. So don’t try to seduce your ex by being someone you’re not; it won’t be sustainable anyways and your ex will probably see right through you!
How to win someone back forever
When you are in love you often just want to be with that person forever. But is that even possible in this day and age? Can you really win someone over forever? I know that it’s still feasible because I see people winning their significant over on a daily basis even after a breakup.
The trick is of course to never consider that your partner is won over for good and to continuously keep working to prove to your ex that you can make them happy!
25. Stay consistent with the changes that you have implemented
If you are in the mindset of trying to figure out how to win someone back forever you need to come to terms with the fact you can never ever slow down your efforts! You will continuously need to keep working to prove your change or evolution because you are always under the threat of a relapse.
Furthermore, your ex will be quick to point out the fact that you are back to your old ways and say something along the lines of “see I knew that you couldn’t change” or “I was so stupid to think that you could stop doing this or that”.
Relationships are like a garden; you always have to attend to them or do your very best to nurture your love story. In parallel, you have to stay steady with your personal development.
As you now know, it’s not just about caring for your partner or cherishing your relationship; you also have to ensure that you cater to your own needs, dreams, and aspirations while also maintaining a healthy social life balance as well.
Again the best way to ensure that you stay consistent with the changes that you’ve made is to set goals on a regular basis and to always keep setting new one’s once you’ve achieved what you set out to do. By striving to be better in all facets of your life you will inspire the one you love and stay in positive dynamic in your relationship.
26. Be content with what you have
I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!
The plenty of fish in the sea line isn’t quite as simple as some people make it out to be. The truth is that it’s a lot easier to figure out how to win someone back than to find someone with whom to build a long-lasting sustainable relationship! You already know your partner and share memories and a history together. There’s already something to build off of in a sense.
The thought of finding something new with endless possibilities and a chance to rewrite your destiny will always be very tempting; especially when you’ll hit a rough patch in your relationship. But please try to gain perspective in those moments and to not snap in a moment of weakness, because you may live to regret it.
I have coached so many people who have broken with their ex only to realize how much they love them and want to get back together! Learn to cherish and to be contempt with what you have.
27. Always keep seducing your partner
It’s a subject that we’ve touched upon all throughout this road map but it is so important that I wanted to expand on it briefly. The seduction game between you and your ex can never ever end!
Again we are not only talking about triggering their sexual desires here but more about the ability to inspire your ex. If you were to put a recipe together on how to win someone back forever the first ingredient that I would request be added to the blender would be to develop the ability to seduce and inspire your significant other.
Seducing a partner entails being both in tune with ourselves and with the one we love. It means that both of your auras are resonating and speaking with one another on a deeper level.
It means that you are finding a perfect balance between your own personal aspirations and desires; and the beliefs that your ex holds, or projects that they may have, or that you are in tune with something that they also highly value.
To continuously seduce your ex, remember to stay true to what you love and to never ever try to do too much to please your ex either. It is way too easy to fall into one extreme or another; to either put your partner on a pedestal or to become disconnected from your relationship altogether.
Remember also to do little things out of the ordinary to show to your significant other that you are thoughtful and care about them — without overdoing it. Take the time to understand your significant other’s love language to make sure that they are shown your love in a way that speaks to them!
Getting back with your ex and staying happy together
In the end, this entire process is about getting back with your ex but also about staying happy together afterward. Our goal as relationship experts is to help people stay happy with the one they love over the long run!
That’s precisely why we are providing you with this road map and why we invest more than 10 hours a day, every day, 365 days a year; speaking with people just like you during one on one coaching sessions, over the phone, via email or in person!
28. Is he/ she still really the one for you?
You also want to make sure that you are with the right person; the one that can make you happy. Don’t let your love or fear of being alone blind you either. If you aren’t happy, if you feel unappreciated or not valued at all, make sure to pull back and to communicate your frustration with the person that you’re with in the right way!
I want to point this out because often times when you are in the process and mindset of getting back with an ex, you can tend to forget that it’s also about you being happy rather than simply being in a relationship with the person that you love. It’s OK for you to be unhappy; it’s OK for you to voice your discontent at times and to set certain expectations for your significant other.
We’ve come full circle; at this point, I can also tell you that if you’ve done everything possible to get back with your ex if you’ve followed our advice diligently, if you’ve worked with a relationship expert and the one you love still isn’t willing to make any compromises or sacrifices to also accommodate you and to make things work; then perhaps you should consider moving on and research how to get over a breakup because he or she probably wasn’t right for you.
We pride ourselves in telling our clients right away if we feel like they should move on or if we believe that getting back with an ex is doing more damage to them than anything else. In some cases, you have to let go of a destructive relationship to realize that it really wasn’t meant to be and in order to find your true soul mate!
29. The common life project
The best way for two people to maintain a bond over a long period of time is for them to have projects together. You can start off with aiming to buy or to build a house, you can envision having kids together, what you will name them and how you intend to raise them; but I would like you to focus on something even deeper, something that will enable you both to really dream further together.
We often refer to the notion of a common life project to the people that we coach that are still with the person they love; but have started to really drift apart.
The issue here isn’t necessarily about getting back with your ex but more about how to reconnect when love is starting to drift away; how to make sure that you both keep pulling in the same direction when life comes in the way, after a tragedy or even if one of you suddenly starts to get stressed out by a new job or a big change in your life.
A life project can help you stay grounded and pull in the same direction because it’s a manifesto of what you both aspire to achieve together. This could even be an unattainable goal, but one that resonates to the core of both you and your significant other.
Whether you are together or apart, this needs to be a dream that you would both be contempt to chase individually; but knowing full well that you will inspire and help each other to move closer to achieving this endeavor as a unit rather than on your own!
It can be quite difficult to figure out what the common life project for your couple can be. It can take a tremendous amount of time and effort to figure it out, and it’s a process that you will need to go through together.
It would be our pleasure to also provide you with a consultation with both you and your significant other in order to help you create this manifesto which will highlight your bond and combined aspirations!
30. Getting back with your ex is not the end of the journey!
When taking a goal minded approach to the quest to get back together with someone you love; some people tend to stop projecting themselves into the future after the point in time when they get back together with the one they love.
Don’t make that mistake! Even though we’ve told you time and time again that you need to continue putting in efforts throughout your relationship, even after you’ve been able to accomplish your goal of getting back with your ex — we need to keep reminding you of this simple yet essential point.
It’s in human nature to tend to relax a bit after we’ve been able to accomplish something that we’ve worked for diligently over a long period of time. They say that happiness is about the journey and not the destination; I want to take this saying a step further and tell you that happiness in love is about the journey and not the destination!
Enjoy your time together while you can! Constantly remind yourself to live in the present moment, to enjoy the here and now.
Imagine putting in all this work to be with the one you love and then later forgetting to cherish the moments that you spend together. Perhaps it may seem unfathomable to you now but trust me, after a few years of being and living with someone it’s very easy to forget how nice we have it and how special your bond really is.
We wish you the best of luck on your journey to be with the one you love. We have a tremendous amount of respect for what you are trying to accomplish and for believing in love. We try to provide you with as much free content as possible in order to help you maximize your chances of getting back with your ex.
However sometimes general concepts, no matter how detailed are just not enough. If you wish to take it a step further and give yourself the best possible chance to get back with the person you love or to have no regrets, I strongly urge you to book a consultation with one of our relationship experts. It could very well be the best phone call you’ll ever make.
Good luck in your quest to get back with the one you love!
Adrian & Alex
Your relationships experts from the Love Coach Team at WithMyExAgain.com