Following a break up you often feel powerless and feel as though your ex is an essential aspect of your life that is all of sudden taken away without your full consent. This impression of need and dependence can quickly turn to despair or desperation to get back in contact with them.
The hope that most people have, is that being in touch with their ex can enable them to talk some sense into them and to convince them to change their mind and get back together. After a breakup, one of the most difficult things can in fact be to have the discipline to not contact your ex; the urge to reach out to them can often time become too difficult to control.
In this article, we will introduce you to the radio silence technique, and the benefits that it can have in empowering you to take back control over your own life and feelings. We will also tell you how it can be used as a tool to get your ex back into your life permanently.
What is Radio Silence?
The Radio Silence Technique or no contact period as it has often been coined in the US is a self-development practice that has been developed to help individuals rebuild themselves after they have been broken up with.
People often misunderstand this approach or method and feel as though the only thing that they need to do is to ignore their ex. Nothing could be further from the truth, as this way of thinking pushes people to place their ex-partner at the focal point or center piece of this very exercise. It would not only be the wrong approach to have, but also counterproductive to what is meant to be achieved.
The radio silence technique was initially developed to tune out the noise in order to help individuals focus on themselves, to heal, and gain perspective on what you may be going through; and to eventually regain a sense of self-confidence. When properly executed, radio silence is a process of isolation that should be centered, designed and tailored specifically for you, after having been broken up with by an ex.
Your brain will play tricks on you and constantly remind you of what you have lost and of your ex-partner. As such it is necessary to put yourself in an environment where you can slowly transition and start to think and focus on elements that help you transition towards a positive state of mind, and to eventually be at peace with yourself. As long as you are focused on your partner, and on getting back with him or her, you cannot focus on yourself and make the necessary changes to once again be attractive to them.
The Radio Silence Technique to get back with an ex
It is only when you have truly been able to shift your focus towards yourself and your own personal development and well-being that you should re-establish contact with your; you will once again be attractive in their eyes and thus in a position where you can win them back.
First and foremost you must be comfortable in your own skin and in harmony with yourself in order to be most attractive to others, including the one that you love. This is not something that you can fake; to pretend to be happy or a renewed person and that you have moved on and accepted the breakup.
Words don’t tell the full story; your body language, the energy that you let out, and your overall state of being communicates on a subconscious level with your ex or any other person that you will be engaging with in casual conversations. This is why some people are better than others at transitioning or not into a game of seduction, or simply more comfortable in their interactions.
Following a successful radio silence period, you will once again be at peace with yourself; be more confident and appealing, and in turn more seductive and sexy. This newfound confidence and positive state of mind will trigger the need or deep desire for your ex to make you theirs once again.
Be advised that your ex will see right through a potential lie or posturing. It is therefore tremendously important that you do not rush through the radio silence period. The required and self-imposed time table can vary depending on the specifics of your past relationship, breakup, and your overall state of mind. Based on our experience however 21 days is the strict minimum required time frame to shift the balance of power.
Being broken up with creates a shift in the balance of power in your disfavor. Your ex chose to end the relationship, often times without your input or consent. In effect it can feel as if they are above you so to speak; they placed themselves as the CEO of the relationship and made the executive decision to severe ties.
As such, approaching them too quickly would only disserve you, as you would be reaching out to them from a position of weakness. In such circumstances time works in your favor and only serves to balance out the perception of power.
Can a no contact period be applied successfully to your story?
People sometimes feel as though their story have reached a point of no return. Others feel too insecure to let go of their ex so to speak; they fear that they will never see or hear from him or her again. The truth is that a successful radio silence can be applied to many different types of breakups to achieve a wide array of objectives.
As explained above, if you simply just want to move on and get over your ex, there are ways to ensure that this method can be implemented to achieve this goal as well; although this technique has been developed to ultimately get back with your ex, in some case it can enable you to rapidly turn over a new leaf.
As we also highlighted if your goal is to get back with your ex, you can use this approach to reinvent yourself and make the necessary changes in your life that will give you the momentum to start anew with your ex. Either way the key to success or positive results will be establishing clear objectives, to be disciplined, and to create a positive atmosphere.
Many aspects unique to your story will have an important impact on both how the radio silence should be implemented, as well as how to get back in touch with your ex after this no contact period.
Similarly to how we face different challenges in our lives; such as working out, learning a new language or changing our eating habits, we are convinced that you can greatly benefit from expert support during this transition period in your life. Working with a love coach and checking out the eBooks and audio programs that are available on this site may be of great benefit in order to clearly identify your specific needs, stay focused on a game plan. Working hand in hand with a professional would also enable us to create a tailored made radio silence for you and your relationship.
Your Love Coach, to help you achieve a successful radio silence,
Alex Cormont
10 Responses
Rick,
Thank you for your share. I really encourage you to book a session so I can learn more. I need to understand the dynamic in order to give a thorough assessment.
Best,
Coach N.
Up to a week from my boyfriend texting me that he will always love me and have a place in his heart for me, but was ready to try a different lifestyle, he was telling me he missed and loved me. This text was in response to mine telling him I loved and missed him (we had not seen each other for a few weeks as I had been out of town). I never responded to his text. In essence, I went into “radio silence” without knowing until I read your article. It has been 6 weeks today and his birthday is on Saturday. Do I wish him a Happy Birthday? My birthday was yesterday and I got nothing and am ok with it. Is it appropriate to text him? I am not desperate but feel it’s being the better person and letting him know I thought of him and authentically wish him well. Please help.
My ex broke up with me 11mos ago bec of our LDR. Even though we are no longer together we still communicate and he still obviously shows and says things that he still likes me. Then our communication stop recently for 3mos now. However,lately, he has been doing things that would catch my attention. We are on the same work, and we work online. He will do things in our team chatroom like, if I will enter a message in the chatroom like acknowledge to the messages to our boss,he will always do it right after I entered a message so that our time stamp would always be the same. I thought that it was just a coincidence. But he has been doing this everyday for a month now and I never reacted or send him any message. Why is he doing this? Is he not in a relationship since he should just be spending his time with a partner if he has one instead of exerting time catching my attention? If he wants to tell me something, it is just so easy to reach out to me since before our communication stopped, we were very ok and he was ever sweeter then. But he never send a message or call. I am confused in what he’s up to.
Hi Misty,
Thanks for reaching out – and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this is. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Coach Adrian or myself, I’m confident we can help you sort this out and turn it all around.
http://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching
Wishing you the very best,
Coach N
Does radio silence includes not showing him my facebook posts, or instagram stories? We broke up 3 days ago. He said he’s tired of the fights and he’s not happy anymore. 🙁
My wife said she wants a divorce, this is not the first time(she is bipolar) I love her dearly but through my growing agitation we grew apart. We live together with kids, in short she calls me up to see funny vids or a picture. Does this mean to avoid all contact. Sorry for the dumb question I just can’t think straight.
Hi Puglife,
In reality, theres too much I don’t know in order to recommend an approach. I invite you to schedule a coaching session with Coach Adrian or myself, we’d love to help.
Best,
Coach N.
(New Edited Version} … My gf recently broke up with me again. We are each others first love, we lost our virginity together and dated for 5 years the first time (18-22yr). We broke up mainly because of my fault and my mistakes of neglecting the relationship. Although she did send me to jail, got me charged and left me for a new guy within a couple week of breaking up the first time. Then 3 years later (2015) as I had almost moved on and had my life together, she calls me out of the blue and asks to meet up.
Now to be honest, I almost thought about her every other day through those years and sometimes looked at her social media see what was going on in her because i felt lonely and again never really had a chance to be in another relationship in those 3 years. I met up with her and she asked for another chance. Even after finding out that she only probably called after her rebound beat her up and cheated on her and her dream relationship not working the way she had planned it, she called me back and wanted another chance. Me being the sucker for love, agreed and we went out for another 2 years.
After i graduated from college, I took some time off to relax and due to my ocd and anxiety disorder becoming so severe lately, I became unmotivated, as a 26yr I was playing games all day and watching movies, and i had no job. We talked about me getting my life straight several times and agreed that by the end of September, if i had a job, started getting fit and got my life back on track we could keep working on the relationship.
I did get a job, and started going to the gym and changed my life around, now due to this I was not able to see her for over a month since i was so busy with working 10hrs and i haven’t worked in 6yrs before that so my body was adjusting. Now somewhere along that month my gf had some reflection about our relationship and somewhere along the line decided to break up with me right before my birthday (Oct. 17) as she was not happy and needed to focus on bettering herself and her career. She also had a long convo with her parents and relatives of how she is not happy and of course they advised her to let me go.
Her main reasons are that I haven’t seen her family yet in the total of the 7yrs we dated, mainly because I was a student and wanted a job before meeting them. The other reasons were that i never wanted to go out, im more of a homebody and she is an extreme extrovert, she goes out with her friends everyday, as well as not being motivated enough or motivating her to do things in life., and being more attentive to the relationship.
She knows I have changed and want to meet her parents now and go out more with her friends and do it right this time, it takes a significant event for an individual to change and i have, but she believes given the last 2 yrs we had many opportunities and that the change is too late and that she has made up her mind for a while and wants to focus on herself and never give the relationship another chance.
Due to my ocd and anxiety I called and texted her many many times as if i didnt i felt as if i was going to have a panic attack. Fast forward… we talked and decided to agree on the breakup and mutually agreed to have no contact for 2weeks and we will talk over the phone after that. She also wants one year to focus on bettering herself but im afraid it might instead give her time to meet someone else or move on.
Now i am sorry for the long post, but my question is, is there any chance that she changes her mind or fall back in love with me? we were together for a total of 7 yrs and should i contact her on our agreed 2 week nc period or wait longer? Im afraid if i let it go on for too long past her bday in 3 weeks she might decide to really stick to her decision after her bday when she turns 27.
I cant believe im the one who gave her another chance after what she did to me, and she has the nerve to break up with me with no remorse after crying and saying she was a terrible individual for sending me to jail and putting me through what she did and saying that this time it would be different in that we would work on the relationship no matter how hard it gets. Now iI’m heart broken again, have separation anxiety and back to square one of feeling like this. I cant believe I gave her another chance and she broke up with me, again!
I really have changed and want this change to be for her, but she is saying that its too late and that i should use the change for somebody else and that she loves me but is not in love or attracted to me in anyway anymore. She said she applied for a job that might require her to leave the city and is not happy and is even seeing a therapist to deal with her depression and anxiety. What should I do and how should I go about proceeding with the 2 week No contact rule we agreed on as well as future opportunities that can help for this relationship to work again? Thanks.
My on again of again BF and I have split up again as he says he is sick of our constant fighting. He told me a couple of weeks ago I will always be the love of his life but when I tried to convince him we should stay together and keep trying he told me to stop as he does not want to get back with me out of pity. He still messaging from time to time to which I send a very brief response but have not been the one to contact him first for a week now. I don’t know how to read the situation?
Hello Tegan,
Yes 100%. If you have kids together you should talk but only about the kids. Nothing about your relationship as you need this time to reflect. Talk about the kids and anything to do with them but I advise you to keep it there. We also have free advice about this on our YouTube Channel. Please search there as I know it will help you out. YouTube: LoveAdviceTV
Best,
WMEA Team