I miss my ex and I’ll do whatever it takes to get back together

I miss my ex and want to tell herFollowing a breakup or separation it is very common to reminisce of the good times spent together or to think about what could have been! It is easy to start to regret a word you may have said or something that you may have done and wish you could take back. 

It so common for people to go from thinking I miss my ex to then realizing I need to do everything possible to get back together because he or she may have been the one. We have a tendency to take what we have for granted or not to value the person that we are with as we should.

Being in a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint and most people have the tendency to not put as much effort into their relationship after a while.

No matter what may have led to the breakup with your significant other, if you come to realize that you miss your ex more than you could have ever imagined this article is for you!

As relationship experts specialized in helping people get back with their ex, we have decided to provide you with a very detailed analysis of why you miss your ex so much, as well as tools and techniques to quickly overcome this feeling and get back together.

Enjoy this guide written to help you transition from missing an ex to getting back together with the one you love!

Missing your ex after a breakup is normal… Don’t panic!

The feeling of loss that you are going through right now is something that many people across the world have to endure when they are broken up with.

A breakup is often more than just a very big disappointment, it is the cold hard realization that everything that you had envisioned and hoped for has disappeared overnight.

You lose the person that you shared a future and so many dreams with so it’s very normal for your feelings to overwhelm you and to miss your ex a lot!

Through experience and in doing so many coaching sessions, I have come to the conclusion that a breakup can have a similar impact as mourning the death of a loved one; the emptiness of knowing that things will never be the same can really impact a person’s psyche.

As a matter of fact I talk about this notion at great length in my many self help Programs available here.

But rest assured this feeling of deep sadness is not permanent, it is truly only temporary. You can quickly bounce back and best of all this loss is not everlasting because it is possible to win back the heart of the one you love!

If you do the right things and if you evolve in the right ways you will stop missing your ex and also get back together after having proven to that special someone that you can make him or her happy in the long run!

So if you are thinking i really miss my ex right now take a deep breath, don’t panic and keep reading this article to find out exactly what you need to do to turn it all around!

Missing my ex and more depressed than ever!

It is important for me to highlight that breakups can often lead to severe depression.

It’s one thing to miss your ex; it’s another to be so depressed that you are unable to carry on with your day to day activities and obligations.

When you miss your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, it implies that you think about them or reminisce throughout your day.

Depression is the complete and utter feeling of desperation that can lead someone to not go to work, to not be able to handle your responsibilities as a parent, or sleeping for most of the day are all signs that you may be depressed.missing your ex after a breakup sucks

I have coached a lot of people who took their breakup really badly and who were showing strong signs of being totally depressed; I know how overwhelming the feeling of loss can be, but I also know that it is totally possible to snap out of this mental state rather quickly even when you’re thinking help I miss my ex!

The best way to quickly bounce back after a breakup is to force yourself to be as active as possible. You literally have to force yourself to get out of bed and to leave your house in order to fulfill goals that you will set for yourself the day or the week before.

When you are striving to accomplish something bigger for someone else or for yourself, it becomes a lot easier to set smaller intermediate goals that can help motivate you to get up in the morning or to push yourself to go the extra mile.

No matter how you plan on approaching the process of getting back together with your ex, or even if you are simply looking to move on, the best way to ensure that you snap out of this state of depression is to be active; once you take the decision to act, and actually take the first step, good things will happen…

Missing an ex shouldn’t prevent you from getting into the right mindset to get back together

Your mind is a powerful thing!

Your mindset is therefore very often the key between being able to quickly bounce back and positioning yourself to get back with the one you love, or losing your ex forever because you aren’t able to pick yourself up quick enough.

If you let your negative emotions overwhelm you and impact your psyche or state of mind, you can easily be so defeated that you won’t even let yourself have a chance to turn things around and inspire your ex to get back with you.

Based on my experience coaching people in person, over the phone, or via email – the great majority of those who succeed in getting back with their ex are those are the most determined, who simply won’t take no for an answer and ultimately don’t let the breakup break them.

In order to put yourself in the best possible conditions to quickly bounce back and get back with the one you love when I miss my ex so much, it of the utmost importance that you release all of your negative emotions and thoughts.

Instead choose to focus on everything that you have going for you, what you bring to the table and what makes you unique. Speak to yourself positively throughout your day and reprogram your mind to enter into a new positive dynamic.

Before you know it you will snap out of this state of missing your ex depression and ultimately position yourself to be in the best possible conditions to inspire your ex to want to get back with you!

So stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop telling your family and friends how down and depressed or sad you are.

Starting today, choose to take action and force yourself to only speak of yourself in a positive and empowering way.

Your positive thoughts and words will soon become a reality!

I miss my ex so much that I don’t think I can ever love anyone else

During coaching sessions I often ask individuals to get back out there on the dating scene or “to put themselves back on the market”.

I often advise people to do so because it is an amazing way to regain some self confidence and quickly prove to themselves that they can still be attractive and regain some perspective.

The response I get is often the same: “Adrian I miss my ex so much that I don’t think I can ever be with anyone else” – to which I then respond, if you follow my advice you won’t ever have to be!

I say this with the utmost confidence because I have helped so many people before get back with the one they love and I know that it is possible and within reach if you follow a well crafted game plan that is suited to what you are going through.

I then often follow up this statement by pointing missing an ex can be toughout to the big problem that I see associated with their comment and mindset; by saying and thinking that you won’t ever be able to love or to be with anyone else, you are putting your ex on a pedestal – big time!

You are continuously repeating to yourself that you are not good enough, that you don’t deserve to be with your ex because they are the best thing since sliced bread.

And you convey the same message to your ex when you beg or plead for another chance after a breakup; or when you repeatedly call them because you are afraid to let them go or because you feel that distance will enable them to move on for good.

As we explain in our eBook 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex, nothing could be further from the truth.

By the way if you are realizing, “Boy do I miss my ex, and seriously looking to get back with your ex, I highly recommend that you check it out as this is the best resource on the internet to get back with someone you love.

We showcase different techniques and go into great detail as to what to say to an ex and when, to get inside your ex’s head and completely change the way they think about you! In fact, we can design the perfect plan when you’re trying to figure out what to do if you miss your ex.

In this eBook we explain at length why putting your ex on a pedestal is a sure way to push them away for good.

So know your worth, and give yourself a bit more kudos!

I recommend that you actually take a second to take a step back and realize that even if “I deeply miss my ex now,” your ex was once really into you, and that something in you inspired that person to commit.

Try to remember how you captured magic in a bottle then and how you attracted your ex; I then urge you to play on your strengths and to evolve back into the person that you were at the beginning of your relationship.

Again short term goals to achieve bigger goals; be active and positive and watch the person you love want to get back with you…because you truly will be worth it!

How to stop missing your ex when you are still single and they found someone else

When your ex finds a new boyfriend or girlfriend it can become even tougher to stop thinking about them. That’s why one of the most pressing questions that people have when we start to put together a game plan is how to stop missing your ex if you are single and they have someone else!

I know how difficult it can because in these types of situations most people completely lose control of the balance of power.

The important thing is to solely focus on things that you can control.

That’s why I encourage a lot of people to stay as busy as possible and to immerse themselves in their hobbies. If you have a passion or something that you truly enjoy doing, I urge you to engage in it as much as possible right after a breakup.

It will help you cope, regain some self confidence and self worth, and make time pass quicker until your next opportunity to seduce your ex will pop up!

Again it is extremely important for you to have long term projects and micro goals to stay on track and not crack and reach out to your ex before the time is right.

If your ex is with someone else, don’t ever bring up the new person because you will only push them even more into their arms.

Instead focus on building yourself back up and trying to create a new platform of communication with your ex by engaging with them casually when you feel ready.

I go deeper into these types of situations towards the end of this article, so keep reading carefully!

You can stop missing an ex by looking way back!

I have helped many people move forward by looking back into their childhood!

Growing up we all have dreams of what we want to be or become when we grow up, before society, the world in general or our parents tell us that it’s impossible.

If you want to forget about an ex quickly, one of the surest ways to do so is to go back to your childhood and try to recapture those moments and figure out what your essence truly wants or what you want to become.

There is something magical about pursuing our deep rooted inner dreams; and that inspiration can trump your feeling of grief and help you move on quickly when you’re missing an ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

Another way to quickly regain a sense of deep rooted happiness, inner peace and self worth is by reconnecting with old friends and family members that you have lost touch with.

People that have showed you love or that have cared for you in some way in your past, can ignite a deep sense of fullfilment, gratitude and peace.

So I urge you to pick up the phone or to write an email to your loved ones just to check in… Remember: reconnecting with loved ones will help you miss your ex less!

I miss my ex boyfriend and he was The One

When your ex boyfriend breaks up with you it is very common for you to think that you lost “The One” even if he really may not have been the right man for you.

I have spoken to so many people who were deeply unhappy in their relationship, and even considered breaking up themselves; but once broken up with people have a tendency to forget all the negatives and only focus on the best aspects of what their partner brought to the table.

The feeling of loss and the helplessness that comes with being broken up with can lead many people to devalue themselves and put their ex boyfriend on a pedestal.

I miss my ex boyfriend

Don’t make that mistake!

Make sure you get some perspective before looking to jump back into your previous relationship or before committing to the process of getting back together with the one you love, even if you can’t stop thinking “I am missing my ex boyfriend so much it hurts.”

But if he was truly the one and you feel it in your bones, then I urge you to focus on getting him back and to do everything possible to prove to this man that you can be happy together long term.

Don’t act desperate, don’t chase him or put him on a pedestal!

Telling how terrible you feel and how much you miss your ex boyfriend will not help you get him back. So avoid making mistakes, look for relevant information and try to come up with a game plan that makes sense to you.

If you don’t know where to start, then reach out to me in order for us to work together! If you inspired him once before you can surely do so again if you are patient and smart in your approach.

The toughest part is often not getting back together but actually staying together and not repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I can help you ensure that this won’t be the case for you if we work together to meet your goals!

I miss my ex boyfriend so much it hurts: What do I do?

I know how bad you are hurting, trust me!

But you cannot let that pain get the best of you otherwise you will miss out on the window of opportunity to get back with the man you love.

Instead see this as an opportunity to grow or to evolve positively; this breakup can redefine who you are and help ensure that you consolidate your relationship in order to be with this man forever if you choose too.

It is only through adversity that we can better ourselves, learn and grow. As children for instance we learn to walk by falling over and over again… but our instinct is to keep trying until we finally succeed to walk for good. You didn’t give up then and you shouldn’t give up now!

I coached a young lady named Haby, she reached out to me after her fiance decided to call off their wedding because her family had been too involved and she had made many mistakes.

Needless to say, she was devastated as she had just lost the love of her life. He didn’t want anything to do with her anymore and he was absolutely sure of it.

We worked together for 3 months and she decided to commit to the process. She resisted the urge to let her emotions get the best of her and did not reach out to him initially. Together we went through an intense personal development program and then reestablished contact with him the right way to showcase her change…

They are now married and she recently sent me an email to tell me that they have never been happier!

Getting back with an ex is possible, and you can truly use this breakup as an opportunity to become a better and more fulfilled you.

I know it works because I have helped so many people achieve this transformation; you can too!

Regain a sense of self and emotional independence when you miss your ex so much

First and foremost you need to be able to get back to who you truly are. At some point whether during your relationship, as it was falling apart or in its aftermath, you started to become emotionally dependent to your ex. You identified yourself through your relationship and thus needed your ex boyfriend to be happy. This may or may not have led you to become needy in regards to your ex and even insecure to a certain extent simply because you put yourself in position to feel as if you couldn’t bring about your own happiness.

This state of mind is very dangerous and also self-destructive. It is of the utmost importance that you quickly snap out if, especially if you are thinking, “I want to learn how to make my ex boyfriend miss me” and get back together. As you will see later on in greater detail, having this illusion of needing your ex to be happy will only cause you to be passive, to put your ex on a pedestal and to communicate with him in the wrong way. You will need to regain some self-esteem in order to seduce your ex and once again become a challenge in their eyes.

When I first spoke to this young lady called Audrey she was completely lost. She kept telling me: “Adrian I miss my ex boyfriend so much, please help me get back together as this breakup is destroying me and I am so unhappy”. Like most of you who are currently overwhelmed with emotion and want to get back with your ex boyfriend, she was giving her ex absolute power over her emotions and well-being. In essence he could dictate her happiness by choosing to get back together or not.

I began our coaching session by empowering Audrey and telling her that she was seeing the entire situation backwards and not giving herself any credit! Simply put you are not unhappy because you are no longer with the one you love; rather you are no longer with the one you love because you were unhappy and this is still the case! Your mindset and outlook can dictate your relationship status and the power is in your ends to decide how you want to shape your emotional future!

Releasing your negative energy after a breakup

In order to stop missing your ex boyfriend or even get back together you will need to try to shift your focus back on to you! It is only by rebuilding yourself and by being active that you will be able to quickly evolve. You need to be strong and find the motivation to get off the couch and to go back into the world with a regained sense of positivity. Everyone is different and some people are by nature more active than others. If you are someone that is lazier than most or that enjoys staying home more than doing activities, you will really need to push yourself to change your habits. You can find that strength in the hope of getting back with your ex boyfriend, in simply looking to feel better and to get out of this state of depression or by engaging in activities that you genuinely like.

Physical activity is one of the best ways to clear your mind and to release your negative energy, especially when you are missing someone you love. When you are frustrated, overwhelmed or just sad; you can completely change your mindset by going out for a jog and tiring yourself out. If you hate to run than find another sport that easily accessible to you. The point is to be active and to push yourself; both your body and mind through physical effort.I miss my ex girlfriend and she has a new boyfriend

You will also need to expand your comfort zone in other ways. It is highly encouraged that you go out and make new friends, interact with new people and try new restaurants, pubs or other places of interest. This will enable you to bring about change in your life, to renew certain energies and relationships and force you to live in the present moment and not worry about the past and what could have been.

Audrey decided to take up tennis more seriously and challenged herself to go out on her own in a pub in her small town and to talk to at least 5 different total strangers once a week for a period of three weeks. She made the decision take control of her well-being and to act in order to ultimately stop thinking about her ex but actually put herself in a position to get back together!

Win him back to have no regrets

If you are still missing him days, weeks or even months after your breakup you probably feel that you are still in love. So than why don’t you just get back together and win him back? You will tell me that’s it’s just not that simple, that he doesn’t want to be with you or that you simply don’t know how. But you need to realize that you control your own destiny or at least that you can choose to shape it through your actions and mindset. I have already provided you with the foundation to snap out of a state of emotional dependence while also having explained the virtues of being active. If you are able to stay positive and carry out these activities for a certain amount of time, you will be able to slowly but surely get back to who you truly are. You will once again find your personality, sense of humor and the little traits that have always defined you as a person; especially before you started dating your ex boyfriend.

If you are able to get back to being that person that seduced your ex and really evolve or change why wouldn’t he want to get back together? He may have broken up with you or simply no longer wished to be together; but his decision isn’t permanent or irrevocable no matter what he say, even if he doesn’t realize it yet! His thoughts are based on the circumstances of the time and the image that he has of you, the image that you gave him based on your actions, attitude or state of mind. But once you change so will his desire to be with you!

A coaching session may be what you need to stop missing an ex and get back together

Reading advice on the internet from experts or credible sources is a great start, but nothing can be better than speaking to a relationship expert with a track record of success.

That’s why I sincerely encourage you to book a coaching session with me in order for us to work together to accomplish your goals.

A coaching session will empower you by giving you a sense of control and direction when you feel I still miss my ex.

I will take the time to listen to your story, pinpoint exactly where things went wrong and tell you why. I will also provide you with a tailored game plan based on what you are going through and answer all of your questions in great detail.

There is absolutely nothing taboo about seeking a coach to get back with an ex. We all use trainers to lose weight, teachers to learn an instrument or a new language; so why shouldn’t you invest in your heart and your well-being?

Being fulfilled in love can have a great impact on the rest of your life, so if you are serious about getting back together, make the right decision and reach out to me…

I will help you maximize your chances of getting back with the one you love!

I miss my ex Girlfriend: What to do now ?

As we’ve seen throughout this article it’s normal to miss your ex girlfriend even weeks or months after a breakup .

You think back about all the good times you both shared or the little things that made her special; it is very common to feel sad and sometimes even overwhelmed.

Yet it can be even more complicated when your ex girlfriend quickly gets together with someone else!

I often hear people tell me during coaching sessions “I miss my ex girlfriend but she has a boyfriend now; What should I do to make her come back? And is it even possible?”

Depending on how the breakup occurred, the length of time that has passed since then, and if you still talk to your ex, it probably still is possible for you to get back with the woman you love.

Focus on your goals and your personal development when your ex has found someone else

It can be difficult to face the truth when your ex girlfriend is in a new relationship.

Having to acknowledge that you may never be together again can create frustration and negativity which in turn can lead to lethargy and depression.

If you focus on your ex, on what she may be doing with this new guy and let your imagination get the best of you,while you just keep thinking, “I miss my ex girlfriend so much I can’t stand it,” it will be very difficult to make the necessary changes in your life that can help you quickly overcome your sadness.

Remember that whether you are looking to get back together or to move on, you will need to focus on the things that you can control; your attitude and outlook, your goals and the actions that you undertake every day.

Setting goals for yourself on a daily or weekly basis and long term can help you to regain perspective and monitor your progress. You need to stay as busy as possible and have something to strive for when you wake up every morning!

I am only repeating myself because it is so crucial to being able to achieve this process.

It is only by getting out of your comfort zone and rebuilding your self-esteem that you will be able to make real progress and feel better with or without your ex girlfriend by your side.

How to make my ex miss me even if they have someone else

It is still possible to get back with your ex girlfriend even if she is in a new relationship.

Whether you broke up months ago or even if she left you for someone else, you can win her back if you once again become the man that she always wanted to be with; the guy that seduced her at the beginning of your relationship.

Realize that during the course of your relationship your attitude must have changed one way or another. Something about you made her feel that she could no longer be happy long term or simply that someone else could make her feel more special or understand her better.

It’s up to you to analyze your relationship and to understand the mistakes that you’ve made and what could have been done differently to make her feel like you were the one to make her happy.

I know you’re thinking I want my ex to miss me, but to get back together you will absolutely need to have a game plan, especially since your ex is now with someone else!

You will need to prove to her that you have changed and evolved without being needy or overbearing. You should never ever go pleading or begging for her to take you back because that type of attitude never works!

You will not be able to convince her to get back together on the basis of your emotions or the way that you feel.

The only way to get her to love you again is to inspire her, to surprise her and to prove that you can be happy and fulfilled without her! That’s why personal development is at the heart and soul of the process of getting back with an ex when they’ve left you for someone else.

Another question that I hear all the time during one on one coaching sessions is I miss my ex girlfriend but she has a boyfriend, Adrian do you think that she still loves me?I miss my boyfriend so muc

She may or may not still have feelings for you, depending on how long ago the breakup occurred; but regardless I assume that she once did love you during your relationship.

We can thus build upon that and revive those feelings if you are able to speak to her or to see her to showcase your evolution and to seduce her once again!

When to move on if my ex girlfriend is in a new relationship?

As long as you have strong feelings for your ex, you shouldn’t give up the quest to win back her heart. If you feel like she is your soulmate or that you can make her happy than why should you?

I have seen couples get back together even years apart!

The only times that I recommend to people to try to quickly move on is when the woman that they are trying to get back clearly doesn’t have good intentions.

If your ex is more than just hurtful but more of a bad influence in your life; or if she isn’t right for you and you know it in your heart, then maybe it is in fact best for you to move on.

Just because you were broken up with and you still have feelings doesn’t always mean that you should try to salvage your relationship.

Some people call me looking to get back with their ex while not realizing that the person they want to be in a relationship with cannot make them happy!

They feel like they are the only ones making an effort or that they have something to prove to their ex. Ask yourself the right questions and make sure that she stands for values or something that you can at least relate too and be happy with long term.

At some point during the reconciliation period she will also have to prove to you that she has given your previous relationship some thought and that she will look to evolve in her own right to make you happy as well!

Ultimately the decision to look to seduce an ex or to move on is only yours to make.

It’s your life and your desires. As a relationship expert, my only task it to ensure that you reach the objectives that you set for yourself.

i miss my ex girlfriend and she has a new boyfriend

So if you miss your ex and want to get back together remember the following points:

  • It’s all about you: Don’t focus on them, focus on you and your personal transformation
  • Be positive: Mental strength and positive outlook will be your saving grace
  • Be ready to go the extra mile: Stretch your comfort zone at every step
  • Believe that you can: Self-confidence is the key to attract your ex
  • Don’t advertize your plan: Don’t talk to mutual friends or family about your plan to win back the one you love

As long as you will be looking to win back the heart of the one you love or seek guidance in this regard know that you can count on me!

Continue to check out my blog for my latest tips and our newest techniques.

Feel free to share your story or to leave your thoughts and questions in the comments section below, I will be sure to respond to each and every single one of you personally!

The coach to call when realizing I miss my ex and want to get back together.

From my heart to yours,

Life Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert

back together after a letter sent to his ex

  • Harshad


    OK first of all the situation I am in is a total mess and I messed it up even further.

    My girlfriend broke up 7+ years of our relationship (11 years of friendship) with me in mid April. And she went ahead in a new relationship with my friend somewhere around same period. I understand she was in a total distress and emotionally fickle at that moment. I tried to bring sense into her by telling her if you want to leave me that is fine but what you are doing now is a rebound (I know that was so foolish of me, don’t judge me for that).

    She insisted it is not a rebound. whatever. Just yesterday, my friend called me up to clear the air. I found out she has portrayed me as a complete villain in front of him and he is showing her all soft corners. I tried to explain my point of view to him, but apparently no use (Second blunder, I know). She tried to contact me many times and still wants to remain ‘friends’ with me. I tried to do that, but I cant and sine yesterday have started NC. Please help me how to get out of this mess and also how to approach to get her back. I am not able to handle her breaking up with me and also my friend betraying me both at same time.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Harshad,
      Apologies for taking a few days to get back to you, I was giving a seminar and had very little time to reply.
      You are in quite a unique situation, and you shouldn’t have said that to your ex because she will now be intent on proving you wrong.
      I do believe that I could help you get back together because you guys have shared so much in last 11 years.
      The most important will be for you to first stop making more mistakes, and we can eventually start to prove to her that you can make her happy.
      If you are seriously committed to doing everything possible to win her back, I strongly suggest that you book a coaching session with me in order for me to provide you with a step by step guide tailored to you so that you know exactly how to get there..
      Wishing you all the very best either way.

  • Alexandr

    Hi Adrian, really hope you can help it’s been such a struggle. My girlfriend broke up with me in December around Christmas. She has been with another guy right after and I’m sure they were talking for the last few months we were together because it’s a friend of hers who was in her class. They have been together for almost 5 months. I did no contact for a month, no response. I sent her a letter with a small birthday gift. Then we started talking again a few weeks after that. Every now and again she would text me random things. Like that she went for ice cream, or wants to buy this shirt. But if I try and get more of a conversation she would dissappear for a few days. We talked more and more but nothing about relationships, she would ask me to help with some input on her assignments even though her guy is in the same class I thought that was weird. The last time we texted I helped her to design some business cards for her. I am a Web designer btw. She always liked my style lol. It’s been two weeks I haven’t heard from her and she stopped liking my Instagram posts. She started liking them after the birthday gift but now stopped again. She ignored my last text from 2 weeks ago. Not sure what to do now, I assume she is happy and has moved on because it’s been a while but I don’t want to give up. I still love her and I am 99% sure I know what went wrong. Just need a chance to show her and to meet with her. I want to text her but what if she doesn’t respond again and also I have no idea what to say. I was going to tell her that I went to a really cool open house for this condo and tell her it made me think of her and the job interview she went for, and just curious if she took the job or not. Because she was asking my opinion on that too at one point even when we were not together. I know she took another job already but she doesn’t know that I know that. So that is the only idea I have right now. I am trying to better and not think of her all the time but it’s truly hard. I tried going out on dates and met some cool people but it just made me realize how much more I went to spend time with my girl. Hope to hear back soon thank you.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Alexandr,
      Thanks for sharing your story. As things stand the balance of power is tilted way too much in her power for my liking…the fact that she left you for someone else and that she is now playing hard to get will make it a challenge for you if you play it too nicely.
      You need to become a challenge again, and so I encourage you to do three things: (1) leverage social media to rebrand yourself in the image of what you wish to become, or to what inspired her to commit to you at the beginning of your relationship. Show her that you are moving on, doing fun things and happy!
      (2) Force yourself to get back out there and to date again, if only just to level the playing field. Women attract women, so if you are able to rebuild your self esteem and prove to yourself that you still got it, things will start to become easier as it pertains to communication with your ex; (3) book a coaching session with me so that I can walk you through this process and be with you every step of the way to maximize your chances to win her back!
      Best of luck either way.

      • Alexandr

        Thanks for reply, my posts are all of me going out and having a great time. I have been very busy on my social media. I have been hanging out with one girl but I don’t mention her in the posts. For one I am not attracted to her she is just a friend and if I put anyone in the pics she has to be equally as gorgeous as my girl. She is very beautiful she will just not be affected if she sees me with someone who she doesn’t think is pretty I’m sure of it. So do I not message her at all? I am really Considering booking a phone call but I just don’t want to hear move on and find someone else. It’s been this long and I know I still want her more than ever. I am not giving up this easy, she has not blocked me nor has told me to get out of her life at any point. She is not angry she has just lost interest. I need to get the interest back I have not been in alot of relationships, this has been my longest and I learned a lot from it. But just need to apply what I learned to her not someone else that is my mindset right now.

        • CoachAdrian

          Hey Alexandr,
          I won’t tell you to move on, I will give you my all…my best tips and advice on how to win her back.
          Book a session with me, it will re-energize you and you won’t regret it!

  • Adrian

    Hey Adrian, which my name is also Adrian. I been with my ex for about three years and had a rocky relationship with this woman because I would be scared to commit. Everything was okay for about a year and after we would argue about small things to the point were I would leave without resolving the situation for two months and try to rekindle things after 2 months. It spiraled in to a chain reaction and we had a fallout about 2 months ago and now I discovered she got in new relationship few weeks of our break up. I got in contact with her and spilled my feelings for her yet she believes I make the same mistakes also tells me her new boyfriend is better then me, because of the things he does yet tells me eventhough they won’t last he a good guy. I honestly do care about her alot that I know she the one. Yet how can I win her back.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Adrian,
      Thank you for your trust and for having booked a session with me!
      I look forward to continue to help you meet your goals.

  • Nicola

    Hello, my ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago after being together for 2 1/2 years (lived together) through the whole relationship we never had conflicts and had a very good understanding of one another – past and present. And accepted one another for our past ( family issues) my ex has had a very hard life and feels he hasn’t achieved all he has wanted in his life so far due to his father putting him in a lot of financle stress and also having visa issues. his reason for the break up is that he wants to achieve and do all the things he feel he has missed out on in his 20’s due to the visa and money issues. Since the break up. He has been the one who has contacted me. After 2 weeks of him moving out. He called and I asked if we could catch up, which we did 2 days later. I didn’t show him that I’m hurting etc. we had a nice time together. He was showing me affection through the day. the next day he asked me to catch up again which I did. We went for a long walk. Whicv was all good and Similar behaviors to the previous day. He mentioned how guilty he is feeling, with everything I’m going through. Since then ( 3 days ago) he has text me each day and then yesterday called me and asked me drop by his job site at his finish time. Which I did. He told me he misses me. I told him back I also missed him. he is the love of my life and soul mate. ( p.s in about 6-8 weeks I will be relocating back to my home state, as I moved to my current state for him ) how do I get his back? Everyone that has met us, his friends and family all cannot believe he has done this, they all thought we would have gone all the way.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Nicola,
      Thanks for sharing your story… you are already on the right track and you’ve implanted the mirror technique without knowing it!
      The fact that you are moving back to your home state will put the pressure back on him…he’ll have to face the consequence of his decision and understand what life without you feels like.
      If you don’t act needy, if you continue to be independent and don’t make it too easy for him, he’ll chase you…to not lose his soulmate!
      I’m here for you if need be, if you feel like you need extra support along the way… but you are already heading in the right direction.
      Keep being strong!

  • Beni

    Hi Adrian, I have somewhat of a crazy story for you. I’ve been seeing a married woman, whom was in an open relationship, for the past 4 years. Our relationship was very strong and passionate and she was very nurturing and caring. (She was 33 when we met, I was 22.) She helped me get my license, took me to Disney World for my first time, yadda yadda. Well, we broke up around mid-May, she said that her feelings had started to dwindle over the past 6 months because her needs and desires were not being met in our side relationship because of my depression problems and that she felt like we were of two different mindsets, her being a therapist who owns her own business, and me working two jobs with not much else going on. My problems always took center stage while hers sat on the back burner and it was enough to make her affection falter. We talked about it and agreed to no longer be bf/gf, but instead be casual FWB, that way we could have some form of a relationship instead of calling it quits altogether. Well 2 weeks later, she texts me and tells me she got asked out by someone and that she accepted and that she wanted to be honest with me about it. I lashed out at her because I was hurt, which turned her sympathy into vindictiveness. She ended up ignoring me for 3 weeks after the argument. Well I called her last Friday and she finally answered, telling me this was the 3rd time I had unfriended her and taken myself out of her life and that she has moved on because she was done with the pain I caused her and that she could only offer me friendship. I called her again the next day and found out that she separated from her husband the same day her and I got into our argument and the guy she talked about stuck around. I of course asked to get back together with her and told her about the changes I have been making, but she said she wasn’t going to leave him for me because she wasn’t in love with me any more and they were now in a monogamous relationship. However, after every phone conversation, I end it with “I love you” and she reciprocates it. She also didn’t want to see me any time soon, especially since she’s stressed over the divorce and her husband barraging her with messages every day, but she didn’t say no to seeing me possibly in the future when emotions and such have calmed down. She informed me that she sees this new guy very often and that he cooks/does lawn work and such for her and her kids. I asked her if she still wanted me in her life and to hear from me, she said yes, but not in an excessive amount and she just needed some time. I also asked if this was the end of us, and she said no. She hasn’t been very responsive to texts at all aside from the one I sent saying I’m here for her if she needs me, just don’t talk about the new guy. She said she appreciated it and that she was just looking for simplicity at the moment because she’s in self-preservation mode. When we first started contacting each other once again, she was liking my facebook statuses and such, but after a day or so, I don’t think she even follows my page because she hasn’t liked a single thing since Saturday. I’ve been very emotional since she told me about the guy and I figured it would be best to just go into no contact for 30 or more days and see where we are after that. I’m scared that she won’t leave this guy for me and that her feelings are too far gone to rekindle what we had. I tried flirting and she responded with “Lol. Well thank you, I consider that a compliment.” That felt like something someone would say to a complete stranger. What should I do Adrian? I really want her back, she is my soulmate and I know it. She always used to say she felt like we’ve been lovers in past lives and other spiritual stuff. She also said if things don’t work out between him and her that I would be the first person she would come to…..

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Beni!
      Thanks for sharing your story, I can and want to help.
      Please reach out to me privately for us to discuss potential avenues for you and to set up a coaching session.
      Hope to hear from you soon.

      • santana

        Hey Adrian I need some good advice please its about my ex I really miss her and what she’s doing is hurting me.. I don’t want her to know though please help us get back

  • Lisa_Loveless

    My ex ended it with me last Friday a week ago. We have split 4 times before over the three year period. He banged his head badly twice and suffered with anxiety and depression for approx 2 years off and on. The first year we were fine and our sexual relationship was too, but after that I noticed he backed right off. We never really went out much, we had a lot of banter but sometimes he said hurtful things to me, our sex life was zero apart from when he wanted satisfying 🙁 . It was last Friday he said that he’s tried so hard to find the missing piece of the puzzle but can’t, he said something is missing yet he loves me to bits and we get on so well, we never argue but I was really soft, he said it was ashame because I’m really good for him. He said he doesn’t get jealous over me so he knew something was missing yet he would send winky face jealous texts at times. He said he has to stay away from me so we can move on with our lives in time. He said when he left each morning he felt low because sub consiously he knew I was led next to him but didn’t want me to touch him and when I did he said ‘no’ your not touching that and when he left in the morning he felt so bad because he didn’t know why he was like it. He said he slept better at his house and didn’t feel low when he woke up there. I’ve suffered truly from a broken heart I’ve become obsessed with him on his FB I really believe he’s seeing someone else already. I’ve text him accusing him but now he’s got angry. What can I do I really want him back 🙁

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Lisa,
      Sorry it took so long to get back to you, I am in Paris putting on a seminar on how to get back with your ex. I want to help you and think that it is possible to turn it all around. The best would be for us to touch base during a phone coaching session in order for me to provide you with a clear plan to move forward and to fix the deep rooted issues that have plagued your relationship. My goal is not to simply have you get back together, but also to make sure that you won’t keep breaking up over and over again in the future like you’ve been doing.
      I’ve helped people stay together after 6 or 7 breakups so I am confident that I can help you turn this around.

      • Lisa_Loveless

        A phone coaching session will be good I think Adrian 🙂

  • santana

    Hey adrian im in a tough situation after this 3year relationship. She left me for a friend of mine who is a lot younger than us its hard for me to eat work and she even pops in my dreams I know we can both be better for eachother I have faith in this. Can I find a way to contact you?

  • Shaun

    Hi Adrian, it’s been 8 months since my girlfriend broke up with me, reasons she stated was because she just wanted to be single, but there hasn’t been a day that passed without me thinking of her. Her birthday is coming up soon and I was wondering if I should wish her a happy birthday considering we haven’t had any direct contact since the breakup. I have sent her a few cards wishing her well in her exams that’s all, what’s your verdict?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Shaun, thanks for sharing.
      Tough to say with the little amount of info provided; however I think that it can be a good way for you to reestablish contact in an organic way. Don’t go over the top, keep short and light and see how engaged she is. Keep me posted on how she responds and we could work together to turn it around no matter what.
      Best of luck!

      • Shaun

        Thanks for getting back to me Adrian, I’m a bit hesitant since I’m not too sure how I do contact her? Also it would be 8 months. What if she’s forgotten me or it pushes her further away? I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not.

  • Henry

    where do I start.About 2 years ago I was very insecure and didn’t want
    my Girlfriend wearing specific clothe, she was very upset and told
    her mom..but they forgave me. Then about a year ago i messed up because
    i demanded to much of my girlfriend, but realized quickly that it was a
    mistake, she told her mother and broke up with me. 2 Days later she
    wrote me that she wants to give us another try if I take therapy which I
    did and I overcame that feeling of controlling here. We were back together even though her mom didn’t like and we were very
    happy. We shared everything with one another it until about 2 weeks ago
    when her mom told me that it was over she didn’t want us seeing each
    other anymore and then i asked my girlfriend why now. She stated the
    only reason why she didn’t say anything is because she wanted her
    daughter to get good grades because I made her happy. Now we both
    finished our school with good grades and are moving on to the same
    school after summer. Me and my ex were totally heart broken but she had
    to block me everywhere. I was just scrolling thru Instagram Yesterday and saw she had
    written I am in love. So I asked her best friend and sure enough she
    loves a new guy and are probably getting together.. We had been together
    for about 4 years prior to this. I really really want her back…she
    means the world to me and just the tough of her doing stuff with another
    guy..breaks me mentally. Please help, i really want her back. I know
    there is the 30 day no contact rule and I’m willing to take it but I’m
    just so upset. Please just help me getting back together with her,give
    me some good advice achieving this. Do you think she really loves this guy or is this just to replace me for the time being Thank you..

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Henry,
      Reach out to me so that we can work together to turn this around. I am afraid that without expert support you will make tons of mistakes!! Time will work in your favor since you are going to be in the same school and around each other this fall!
      Please reach out ASAP so we can work together quickly because it is definitely still possible to win her back.

  • Josh

    I’ve been nc with my ex for over 6 months of a 10 month break up. She’s been with her new boyfriend for 8 months or so who is a complete weirdo compared to me. Our mutual friends and her family can’t believe she’s with a guy that looks like him.

    We saw each other for the first time at a friends party I made sure I looked damn good. I walked in and out friends circled me and she was sitting in a chair right in front of me I looked at her and smiled she looked at me and looked straight down and pulled her phone out lol throughout the night she would look my way and if look at her and she would look away.

    We didn’t approach each other but I was talking to my buddies girl and enough room for my ex to pull her chair up between us, if she was over me she would have no problem being next to me.. But she dragged her chair to the other side and sat behind the girl so I couldn’t see her lol she was on the phone the whole time..

    There is another party coming up and I love nothing more in this world to have another chance with her but I played it as cool and as carefree as I could but inside I wanted her so bad! so what should I say to her this time I’ve gotta say something if I ever want to get with her again. There is some interest or feelings on her side or she wouldn’t of been so fazed by me being there.. I mean she left and only told my buddies girl bye no one else knew she left! Maybe I’m wrong and she doesn’t feel anything..

    We broke up because I was selfish, I took her for granted and didn’t give her the love, attention, and affection she deserved.. I wanna say she is rebounding but she is still with him after all this time.. I’m not sure if I still have a chance, her family still misses me like crazy they tell me all the time but that isn’t my ex though which is the one I need to feel this way.

    There’s a party coming up in a few weeks

    So how should I play this? Or should I just give up because she is getting serious with him?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Josh,
      I agree that she probably still has feelings for you, but she is also probably still hurt.
      I think that you should be the bigger man and go up to her and say hello. Show interest in what she’s been up too and how she is doing… don’t be afraid to engage in small talk to put her at ease. You need to balance things out, the breakup happened because you were a jerk so you need to show that you are no longer that person. Also don’t be afraid to tell her that you hadn’t reached out previously because you wanted to respect her space. Use this interaction as a way to reestablish a communication platform. Then reach out to me in order for us to work together to re-seduce her quickly. It’s still possible to win her back!
      Good luck,

  • Robery

    My name is rob. My girlfriend of 8 months left me cause I got a dui and had to do a couple months in jail. In 30 days she gave up on me and found someone older, less attractive but he has money and his life together. She tells me she still loves me and she cried her eyes out when we seen each other last. She told me to get my stuff together and if she’s available we can try again. I asked if she would leave her boyfriend if I was successful. She said no. She would have to be available. Basically somethong has to happen between them. I want to think that this is a rebound relationship but it’s going really well for her and she says she’s happy.our relationship was deep and intense with lots of crazy passionate sex and I’m 100% sure she has nothing like that now. What should I do? I’m doing the NC rule right now. I’m not going to waste my time forever. I’ll give a year of myself and that’s it but why bother if it’s hopeless. Help me out. Will she leave him for me??

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Rob,
      I can help you win her back! You have to stay focused on you and become a better version of you, the person she always wanted to be with…
      If you do so, the odds are that she will come running back.
      Let me help you, book a coaching session in order for us to work together.

  • tallia

    My story is a little different, I left him after a 6 yr live in relationship. We have been apart a little over a year. A month or 2 after the break up we tried again but with my job demands and having 2 teenagers we just drifted apart due to no time. I hadn’t talked to him for a while and I texted him one day and he said he was glad I finally realized we could be friends even though we could never be together again. I of course asked why we could never be together again and I was told how bad I hurt him and how much anger he has. We broke up because I went and bought a house with out telling him till 3 days prior to me buying it. I did this due to my teenager being suicidal, and cutting himself because the school he was at had a lot of violent /thug type kids. He had no friends was on meds for depression etc…I had asked my ex before multiple times if we could move to the county. I was from where my kids originally went to school and were happ before we moved in with him, but he liked his house and would never consider moving so I took things into my own hands. Now he is seeing a ex girlfriends sister but says he doesn’t love her that If she calls she calls and if she doesn’t than so be it. Says we can’t get back together cause we tried twice and 3rd time would be shame on him. I have done everything I shouldnt do such as text him multiple times everyday, and when we are face to face get emotional and sometimes argue with him. Have begged and pleaded for another chance, told him I would do anything to be with him. He said he has a switch that he switched off that keeps him from loving me. How do I fix my mess and get my man back?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Tallia,
      Sorry for the delayed response, I was touched by your story when I read it and I really want to help you turn it around.
      Please reach out to me in order for us to work together!
      I look forward to it.

  • Stephen

    Hi Adrian.
    My ex gf and i broke up about a couple of weeks ago after being together for 2.5 years. I left to go overseas on a holiday and yet i decided to come home early to fix the relationship. I do get confused as my ex is still in my house (even though she said she was moving out when i was overseas) and then keeps saying things as if we are still together. She still wants to do dinners, hang out and we still even sleep in same bed and she gets close to me. She makes conversation in a very happy way.
    I want to work this out with her and i know i want to spend the rest of my life with her.
    I’ve completely acknowledged my mistake and never justified it.
    Ive been focusing on myself day by day already to be a better person and its been positive.
    Where do i go from here? If she is still around me does this mean something? Im confused.


    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Stephen,
      You have to be strong and not let her have her cake and eat it too. I can help you turn this around, she clearly is still attached and not ready to let go!
      Reach out to me and book a coaching session in order for us to start to work together.

  • Bryen Margret

    Hello to every one out there, I’m here to shear my unexpected miracle that has happen to me through the help of Dr ozi I was happily married and we had two kids, we lived together as one because we both loved each other but before I knew it, my husband started acting funny and cheating on me, later on, he told me that he cannot continue with me so that was how he left me and my two kids without noting but there was nothing i could do to stop him or bring him back to me. I work so had to pay the kids schools fee and other responsibility for good three years. I cry all day and night because I didn’t know what to do to have my husband back to me until this faithful day I read the post from one Mrs Victoria testifying how the great spell caster helped her to get her ex back. I just wanted to try my luck because I never believe it will work but to my greatest surprise, am singing a new song i contacted the great spell caster and he told me not to worry because once he finish casting the spell, that I will get back my husband . The unbelievable happened on Sunday when I got a call and I was surprise to hear my husband voice apologizing to me that he’s so sorry for his Wrong did and telling me he’s back home again and we are happily united again. wow!!! I really appreciate your good works great Dr.ozi. I’ll always acknowledge your “FABULOUS WORKS” and there’s noting I could say than to tell the world about you. So if any one is out here seeing this post and you have similar issue like this, worry no more Dr.ozi is there for you, he can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of genital herpes and all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection and lot’s more. You can contact him on drozispelltemple@gmail.com or call +2348162934783

  • rohanphantom

    hey, i am 19 from mumbai.
    there is this girl i have liked since i was in 4th grade. and then eventually we started dating. but after 3 yearsof relationship we took a break as she thought i was a bit possesive and didn’t give her enough space.
    curently she is dating a guy and they r in a long distance relationship and he treats her very well. but given his past he has never been serious about girls. she means a lot to me. what do i do to get her back?

    • CoachAdrian

      You have to stop showering her with love and attention and become once again a challenge by proving to her that you don’t need her to be happy.
      The fear of loss is a powerful motivator, leverage it to make her revert back towards you.
      Good luck,

  • Beth

    Hello! I was in a 6 month relationship with a guy I met at college we were friends for a while leading up to our relationship. We we very good for each other and we both helped each other with a lot of our problems (he was too selfish me too selfless) we said we loved eachother. Summer came and we had to go long distance, I saw him once and things seemed different I became needy and not strong and he became more distant we got in a big fight one night I was mad at him for something he had done at a party and he was very apologetic and said he loved me and then the very next day he called me and said he didn’t love me anymore and that he didn’t want to be with me. I know him and I know that he freaks out when he hurts people I know he does still love me and I know I was good for him. We will be seeing eachother a lot next semester which is in a few weeks and I want to know how to act in order to get him back and prove that he made a mistake. I also know that this is a good time to grow and I feel that I have been getting stronger and therefore our relationship will be even stronger and I want to show him that!

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey Beth,
    I strongly recommend that you reach out to me and book a coaching session before next semester begins.
    I want to advise you and provide you with a game plan to maximize your chances of getting back together.
    Hope to hear from you soon.

  • George Ramos

    Hello, I was in a 6 month relationship with this girl I met long distance. We were happy for the first few months but I was depressed and she didn’t like me being sad because she couldn’t help. I made it about me bringing her down, until she eventually gave up because this relationship was about me and not “us”. She said I wasn’t emotionally ready and that she doesn’t think it can work ( even though it did for a while) and said any relationship would tie her down. She lost attraction for me, but still wants to be friends.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey George,
      The fact that she still wants to be friends is something positive that you can leverage to win her back. First focus on your personal development and snap out of depression. Then everything will be possible.
      Here to help if need be.

  • sthrncmft

    I have been with my fiancé for 4 years. We’ve had our ups and downs over the years but we have always made it through. A few weeks ago she told me she needed a break. As in a break up. She said she needed time during this break to find herself and it would be the only way to give us a chance to work. She was having a very difficult time getting over problems in our past. A few months ago she started a new job and met someone new. Someone who she says reminds me of her when we first met. She has been intimate with this person… Even when we were together. So yes she cheated on me. The thing is we live together. We have a home a life. I read through all the relationship advice and continue to find everyone saying no contact. I offered to move in with a friend for a while to give her the space that she needs. She was not receptive to that. She said this is our home. I agreed to sleep on the couch I have stopped texting every day and I’m doing my best to give her the space she needs. She promised me that this break was not for her to pursue anyone else only for her to help find herself. She needed me to be a friend not a lover and hope that I would understand. I’m doing my best to do so. At first she was acting similar to the way she did when we first started dating. She was cooking me dinner, washing my clothes, planning vacations with me and talking about happy times in our past. Now 2 weeks later she’s hot and cold. There are so many mixed signals. Sometimes she will touch me, other times she won’t. She will send me texts that say she’s missing me then act distant. She brings this other person up in conversation and I’m not sure why. Like throwing it in my face. I don’t get it. She told me she’s never doubted her love for me and that huge part of her sees a future with me, Wants a future with me and wants to be my wife. But right now she is confused because of this other person and claims that it is just a tiny part of doubt. But she’s seeing this person more and more. And slowly becoming more distant. I don’t doubt her love for me but I don’t know what I need to do to win her back. She made a comment that she would like to be courted and taking on a date and made to feel special. That I have to prove to her I’ve changed. She harbors so much anger and resentment towards me because she says what I’m doing now to make things right… I should’ve been doing all along. I don’t know what to do. And her mixed signals I just don’t understand. Please help ?

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey Glen,
    I am confident that I can help you turn things around, but it will take work!
    Please book a coaching session in order for you to get the support you need to win her back.

  • Peter

    My ex and me together 4 yes she Thai. I English 1st ur we together then I had to return UK for 2.5 years. She visited every 6 mths and we spoke on phone daily. June 2015 I stupid and accuse her of things she ended it then january 2016 I returned thailand we sorted it out.
    I then returned UK march 2016 but she found out I had dated a couple of girls when we were split up and ended it may 2016. Last week I pressed her and she told me she find new man when I asked if she slept him she didn’t say yes or n9 but I know she HSS
    She says she wants to help me and has been for some business issues then tells Me don’t contact her then when I ask her to look in my book for Skype password she starts quizzing me if I’m going back to girl I dated
    I love her but I stuck in UK till November
    Can I get her back she tell me if this new guy messes around she will be off

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Peter,
      Since you are still in touch and she is acting possessive or even jealous, I think that we can win her back! Reach out to me in order for us to work together…
      November is just a couple of months away!
      Hope to hear from you soon.

  • Flora

    Hi Adrian,
    my boyfriend and I broke up last February after 7 years together. We had a minor break two years ago which resolved itself in a couple of months. So last February after some difficult moments we both agreed to break up, I felt not 100% respected (and I wanted him to be a bit more in charge emotionally) and he felt a lack of warmth. Needless to say those two issues were connected in a neverending vortex. So we breakup, but after a month I realize I love him too much to stop struggling. I confess I still love him, he says he does too, but he needs time. We go into three months of hot/cold reactions, tears, unknown. He also started to see a girl (my exact contrary) and if in the beginning he said she meant nothing and was only a way to cheer himself from his problems (he was going through a mental breakdown given by us+work issues) in the weeks she became more and more important (of course). But he still loved me (he said). In June he asks me time, to wait for him because he was not ready to restart a committed relationship right away, and then after few days he calls me, asks to cut ties, says he doesn’t want to lose the other girl and that he wants to forget all the feelings he has for me. In the last two months we had a couple of exchange for practical reasons and at times he was very sweet (on the verge of crying) and others he was very cold and detached. So i started thinking he just lied or didn’t want to hurt me when he said he still loved me and asked to wait for him. It is hard, I know you know, to keep on going when your world crumbles and you feel like your heart is made of concrete, while your ex other half is just having the time of his life with a new girl and doesn’t even remember how to spell your name. But i tried to rebuild everything and stop overthinking. Then one day, when almost two months had passed after we last saw each other, he met my best friend and confessed her that even if he is happy with his current girlfriend, he can’t stop thinking of me as “the one” that he only sees a family with me (we bought a house together and talked about having children for a quite sometime) that I am so beautiful and smart and so on…but he still feels blocked about being with me because he is worried that that problems between us can’t be solved. My friend said he was shaken and distressed, holding his head with his hands, again on the verge of tears. He told her that he can’t let me go, that I am too important for him and that he is scared that if he sees me he will be even more confused. Six months have passed, he is in a new relationship, he refuses to see me or talk to me, he is scared about our common failure as a couple. So I wonder, even if he swears he loves me and tells my friends I am his special one, where do we go from there? Most of the times it feels a lot like nowhere (it is difficult for me to imagine a man ever coming back to me when he engaged in another relationship) some other times I think I should keep a little flame alive because after all these years together and such an incredible amount of love, I am sure he is the love of my life. Sorry for this long message. Hope you can share your ideas with me.
    Thank you,

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Flora,
      Thanks for sharing your story. I urge you to reach out to me in order for us to work together. If he is the love of your life, let’s leave no stone un turned.
      I think that I can help you turn this around.

      • Flora

        Hi Adrian,
        thank you for your reply.
        Unfortunately I lost my job last month, so for the time being I can’t afford extra (although important) expenses…so cross your fingers for me until I can!
        I will improvise in the meantime…after all this time I don’t even know if there is something that could actually work, I am starting to lose hope.
        Thank you again.
        My best,

        • CoachAdrian

          Thanks Flora, I wish you all the best…
          Keep checking our site for new articles!

  • David Weiland

    Was with my ex for 7 months love her to death we split and she went into a rebound relationship and then fell for him I left her alone after that and then she contacted me a week after. we have been talking for two weeks now and she says she loves me still but fell for the new guy. Iv done everything to get her back and she hasn’t budged. She will send me sad faces and say she was thinking of me and screen shots of songs. She calls and facetimes me everyday and I always get my hopes up thinking mybe she will change her mind but I just get let down. I txt her today told her I can’t do this anymore she’s just getting my hopes up and letting me down and is still with her ex even after sending me stuff like that and calling me everyday. I told her after Sunday she would never hear from me again. She called and was mad I did that and She had a choice to make and saw my changes and still chose her ex. Was this the right move to cut her off like that ? I don’t know what else to do I want her back more than anything but I’m always getting hurt and upset from her sending me that and I try and nothing happens

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey David,
      Thanks for sharing your story. Yes no contact is the right move for now.
      Stay strong and don’t hesitate to book a coaching if you need more support.

  • Tom

    Hello Adrian, me and my ex were together for about 4 years and lived with each other for over 2 of those years. She has a little boy and when we met he was barely about to be 3. His dad didn’t want to be in his life for the first couple years. I raised him, and he is now 7, I would wipe his but when he was too young to do it himself, change him, shower him, put him to sleep, read him bed time stories, take him to school, pick him up, do home work with him. He calls me dad and tells his friends I’m his dad. I’m just giving u this information so you know how serious our relationship was and how I helped so much with her kid. She wanted me to get a better job and at least go out there and try but for some reason I guess I was too comfortable. She wanted me to help her with bills more and be able to provide better. She gave me three weeks to move out and find a place to stay, but during those three weeks she would still make plans for me and our little kid. Still go to the beach, go out with me at night, hold my hand and kiss me. The day before I moved out I told her I would pack my stuff and leave the following day. That night we watched tv like usual and then went to bed, when we were in bed she started having a panic attach and breathing really hard so I calmed her down and and held her, she broke out crying hysterically saying this is the last night ur going to hold
    Me. Then she grabbed my face and started making out with me very passionately and made love with me. Then I held her the rest of the night. I am confused with her actions, also the few days before I moved out we were at the beach and she said we should take out puppies to the dog beach some day, also our little one went on his first trip on an airplane with his grandma and she said if he does ok on the plane he can go with us on our next vacation. So even though she wanted me to leave she would talk about doing things in the future. I feel she felt that the only way I would get my act together is by breaking up with me. It has actually worked cus I am doing everything I can to better my self. I joined a gym and work out now, I have passed multiple exams for careers. I have 2 interviews next week and I won’t stop till I better myself and complete my goals. Can you give me some insight on my situation and if you feel her actions of kissing and hugging me and things she would say as far as future plans together are a positive thing?

    Thank you!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Tom,
      Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story. Please book a coaching session in order for me to advise you in the best possible way.
      Wishing you all the best,

  • Vijay Meik

    Hello Coach Adrian,

    My ex and I were together for 2 years. We got together last year of highschool which was really amazing and nice but then we had to go our separate ways to colleges across the US. The sad thing was that my parents didn’t agree so we had to date in secret, which she didn’t like in the first place but she did it for me.

    It started going downhill the last few months to a year when we were long distance and I was spending too much time doing career/school related things and not spending enough time with her. However, we had such good memories and such a strong emotional bond that we told each other we were together forever and how we’d never ever break up. We loved each other so much but I made the mistake of taking that for granted and she told me I wasn’t spending enough time with her but I just told her to get busier like I was. I wasn’t very appreciative of her during long distance and since my parents did not approve since they didn’t want me to date, didn’t let me travel to go see her. So she flew or drove to come see me but the busy person i was, I couldn’t spend all the time with her. So she’d have to wait so much but she loved me so much. Also, when I was busy, I failed to be there for her emotionally when she needed it but whenever she came to visit me, we had soooo much fun but always argued about my parents.

    I hated being secretive and that kind of rubbed off as me not loving her as much since I refrained from making this relationship super public. However, I spent the weekend after with my parents and didn’t text her goodnight a few times on accident because I was tired or didn’t have signal etc. So she said we should take a break and I should change into a better boyfriend who cares more, loves her more.

    In the meantime however, she was becoming really close with this other guy who she had met on the street and spent time with him since she was curious about his life. He had been in hit and run cases and just got out of rehab, and my ex was super curious about it. This happened during the final month of our relationship and she would meet him at coffee shops and tell me all about it. He was really caring and fell in love with her and so when my ex came to visit me and was gone, he wrote her letters for every night. She visited him once last time to give him a used laptop and he showed these letters to her and my girlfriend broke down and hugged him. SHe said I should be as sweet as he was and I took her for granted so much so I should change. So we took a break and I did change alot. I contacted her so much, thought about her all the time and helped her get over all her emotions. But she grew a little distant from me and started talking to her friends a ton and stopped texting me. A few days later I text her in the night and she says she wants to try a relationship with the other guy out. I saw this coming and I advised her not to text him as much but in one day he had invited her to dinner with his parents and she was so happy to have them love her. So, she started dating him and fell in love with him that day and when i tried to get into contact with her she said we couldn’t do this anymore and she was going to go out with this guy. But it wasn’t “going to go out”, they had already held hands, kissed, and he’d taken her to his apartment and became super intimate with her (She spent the night so you can guess what happened). This all happened the first time she visited him after we “took a break”. Now when i text her that I’ve become super desperate, she’s still willing to emotionally connect with me and help me feel better but she’s moved on although she still hurts. But his parents agree and he’s really loving and caring to her but they became intimate insanely quick and I don’t think this is good for her. I really miss her and want her back but my parents still don’t agree. I’m in pieces and I tell her that but she just says “sorry”. What do I do? How do I get her back even though I’m such a long distance away?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Vijay,
      Distance doesn’t always have to be an obstacle.
      Reach out to me in order for us to work together and turn things around.

  • Nestor

    I met this amazing woman of all days on April fools day 2016 while at work in a very organic way. We went out that same night and by the 3rd date we both realized we had found someone more than special in each other’s lives. Being that we both had children and had been in similar last relationship made it even more of a connection at the same time more complicated. Nearly two months after we starts dating we introduced our kids to each other “all boys” my 10 year old and her 11, 7 and 3 year old. They seem to get along and like each other until their very first disagreement. That’s when my attitude and doubt came in and started tearing down this amazing magic that we were sharing. Shortly after on a date with no kids on that night I became a bit insecure in an intimate moment and told her to leave my house and was pretty disrespectful in doing so. I apologized and we moved on from that day but things never seemed to get back on track quite like they were. Although we did have a few moments where we were both thinking things were back to that magic it would last for only a few days. Keep in mind this woman told me she loved me first which I had never experienced before. Three months into the relationship she went on vacation to see her family out of state with her kids and just before she left i broke it off with my doubt of it ever working again. The day she left she reached out to me by sending me Mr. Mister song” take these broken wings” and a short hello text right after. I responded and she expressed to me the significant peace I took from her with my love and we talked and both mentioned our feelings and said we shall move on and I would wait for her rerun in two weeks. Well… Before she returned about 3 days before we got into a silly text argument and we didn’t talk for about 4 days after she got back when I reached out to her. She told me she was done and could not take anymore of the BS. It’s been a month now and I have tried to plead and beg for one more chance realizing completely how it was mostly my fault and how I pushed her away the reason this was over. Now I am quite lost and would do anything to get her back and not make the same mistake by being not only more patient but more respectful and understanding to her needs. Although she has responded back mainly in saying I’m sorry and she’s done, I am looking to do whatever it takes to have one more solid chance to make this woman my wife for I know her value and the amazing life we can have and create. Please give me some insight and let me know if I still have a chance. Keep also in mind I was her world, her king and everything that she would express to me. Thank you for reading and hope to hear back from you

  • Unknown

    Hi, i was in a long distance relationship for over a year and we were absolutely great at the start. He would always beg for me back or flood me with lovely messages, i absolutely adored him. Months in, he broke my trust by lying and would always break up with me on and off. He would always block me and unblock me but it came to a point where it was constant and I became so attached and would always beg him back through a friend or creating a new account, i was so desperate and needy it was disgusting because I would panic and felt like an idiot. The arguments got worse and we would call eachother every name under the sun, it’s like it flipped. He used to be needy, but now it’s me. I wish i tried sooner to be more loving and caring:( i really love him but recently he said he doesn’t feel anything for me anymore and wants to move on and blocked me for life, i was in tears. I did everything to be unblocked and finally i was, we have never met before and he agreed for 4 weeks to meet me and let me down on a few days before. I rang him and ended up crying, he agreed to meet for the first time as friends. That put me in an awkward situation as i never wanted that, we met and it was very awkward but nice. We had a lovely time, he was affectionate and comforting in the cinema and when i got back on the train he messaged me that he’s going to think about whether thats really it. I questioned him “i thought you was 100% moving on afterwards” he wouldn’t answer and told me he will explain in a few days time. In those days we were getting on better than ever, it was lovely i had my hopes up. He then messaged me saying i’m a lovely girl and he feels like he cant do this anymore and doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He says its going to be the same as before and wants it ended sooner than later, but I would really love to see him again and i’m so confused. The fact he chose to think about it and wanted to be affectionate, it’s not a straight forward answer about moving on it’s “i feel” or “i think” or “i just don’t know” with sad faces. I really love this boy and i had high hopes for us to work out, he really wanted to work back then. I just want a chance, I want to meet him properly and see if this can get better. We’ve always had a lovely bond and there’s just a part of me which is attracted to him, he said he will give me a phone call about it when his voice comes back properly and talk about it. We are still talking and getting along really well, but i want to see him and i want him back 🙁

    • CoachAdrian

      The fact that you are still in touch is a positive sign. I think that I can help you turn this around if you are patient and resilient.
      Reach out to me and we could get started right away!

      • Unknown

        Hi, thanks for responding.

        He told me nothing is going to change and he doesn’t want to see me. I’m so hurt because we’ve only met once and i would love to see him again to just talk or something. It’s that fact he’s moving on and doesn’t even know if he has a connection with me or not in person because we’ve never had a chance to meet properly a few times. He is very stubborn and I’m extremely upset. How do I contact you?

    • Aaron

      I was with my ex for 2 years she left me a month and a half ago cause I wasn’t reliable. She never came to me to tell me this it took me a month for her to finally tell me why she broke up with me. She was willing to work things out but I accused her of cheating on me before I knew she was willing to be with me. I called her names, out of hurt and anger begged for her back and she told me no I don’t ever see us getting back together how can I be with someone who has insulted me and called me names. She told me how much she misses me and cares for me but said she no longer loves me after what I did. I did 3 weeks no contact went and saw her had a good warm conversation started texting then the next day I went and begged again…. I know stupid me… I left upset angry called her selfish and names.. she said I made it alot easier now for her. I tried having small talk witch was cold 1 word answers then to no respond.. I love his girl and she was the perfect one for me. She did alot for me as I did her. We had 3 fights in 2 years and when we’re together it was amazing. I got selfish and made lies to not go to dinners and hangouts.. now I’m paying the price especially how I missed her birthday. I cry everyday hoping she will forgive me one day and I know if I had another shot we would be extremly happy together and strong. I tried explaining to her every a relationship and marriage goes threw this and she said I won’t be with someone who has hurt me. I do belive she loves me and cares still just she’s forcing herself to move on.. is there anything left for me? Or is it a lost cause…thanks

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey, thanks for sharing!
      The fact that you are still talking is a very good sign…and something for us to leverage in order to win him back. book a coaching session with me in order for us to look to turn this around ASAP.

  • Zsanna


    My boyfriend broke up with me 5 weeks ago. I went through the whole desperation phase, I made the “deadliest” mistakes of course, because I didn’t want to lose him. Then his sister told me that he’s back again with his former girlfriend (they broke up about 6 months ago because “she was bitchy and needy and crazy”). Since I love him, I mean, I really love him, I dedided to tell him in a message that I wanted only the best for him, that I didn’t hate him, I wanted him to be happy and so on. After that he messaged back that he wouldn’t forget what was between us and then he blocked me on Facebook.

    Look, the thing is that I want him back. Not because I am the type of woman who can’t live without a relationship, but because I really love him. Before we started our relationship, we were best friends, and we were really great together, but then everything went wrong in just a minute… and I realized that it’s my fault because I wasn’t a challenge, a “prize” anymore, just the woman who showed him 24/7 how deeply she’s in love with him.

    We work together so the basic tricks, like no contact rule, etc. are definitely not working in our case. What I’m doing right now is that I’m trying to keep the conversation with him minimal but friendly, change myself inside and outside as well, I mean I’ve been analyzing what happened, trying to discover and understand my mistakes (yes, I was needy and I wanted to solve his problems for him – me and my stupid “let’s fix things as soon as possible” control freak type of thinking…), and I want to become the best version of me, so I started to work out, using makeup, wear elegant but sexy clothes, and I have fun with my friends and coworkes in front of him. It seems like it’s working, because he’s usually very confident, calm and collected and he acts like nothing in this world could bother him, but every time he bumps into me at work, I can see that he likes what he sees and I have the feeling that he don’t know what to do with it… it’s funny because he’s trying to avoid me and “accidentally” bumping into me at the same time. And I can tell that me smiling all the time annoys him.

    So, my question is, do you think that there is a chance for me to win his heart back? We were soulmates once and it’s not just a phrase. Despite the painful breakup, is it possible that he still feels something for me and we could get back together even is he’s back with his ex? I would be able to start again with a clean slate, really leave the past behind and try to do my best to get him back and what’s more important, if he comes back, I would do literally anything to keep him.

    What should I do to get him back as soon as possible? Though I can show it, I miss him like crazy. 🙁

    I’m reeeeeally looking forward to your answer and thank you in advance! 🙂

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Zsanna,
      The fact that you work together gives us a unique opportunity to showcase your change and to once again become a challenge. Reach out to me and book a coaching session in order for us to work together to win him back! I’ve helped countless people who were in similar situations before and the fact that he is back with his ex doesn’t mean that you can’t win him back.

  • Darla C

    Why do you say not to advertise your plan?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Darla, because if you do he will see you coming from a mile away!

  • Daniel Marin

    Hey , Adrian I really admire your patience with everyone stories and hope you do with mine as well, I really need help. I was with my gf for 5 years since I was 15, we had a great relantionship and we loved eachother . I however I have to admit that my ego and my stuborn personality got her tired, every time we would have a fight I would just not talk to her to solve problems and I was just really selfish many times. When she broke up she said that it hurts her so much but that she wants to focus on herself, she said she worries too much about me and that we are so different. I wish I woulded known her point of view before and change myself. Now its been a week since we didnt talk, last coversation was about us telling eachother goodluck on college and since then we havent talk. When we broke up, I beg her that same day to give me another chance, she sai no, but then i wanted to keep begging her but i knew it was a bad idea because I know it will get her even more tire of me. So I just agree to her saying that she was right and that I need it to change for myself… But is so hard not to have any contact with her because it worries me that maybe something is happening to her. I put snapchats on my story to see if she sees them just so I know she s okay and she always looks at them..I really dont know what to do. We were together for 5 years and it hurst to even think about losing her. I want to give her the time and I want to marry her. Her mother told me to let the time decide our futures but Im scared she might forget. I dont know how long I need to wait to maybe try talking to her again. I would appreciate if you could help me..

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Daniel,
      Thanks for your kind words and for sharing your story with me. 5 years is a long time and she won’t just forget you over night. You have to be able to truly analyze what went wrong and why and then truly evolve in order to prove to her that you can make her happy! I would love to help you with this process and speed things up so that you can get back together quickly. If you are interested in getting my support, please book a coaching session with me in order for us to speak over the phone in order for me to provide you with a step by step game plan.
      All the best,

  • Monica

    Hey Adrian, I have been following your videos for the past few weeks and find you to be very motivating, inspiring and insightful. Therefore, I started radio silence after my break up which had a lot to do with too many arguments leading up to the breakup and him second guessing if we were ever in love. However I was only able to implement radio silence for about 18 days. I messaged and set up a meet up. He agreed things started off bad but by the end he started warming up a bit and we held hands, hugged, kissed he asked to meet again to continue the convo because a part of him wanted to be with me and the other part didn’t due to all the issues. He said he would call in couple days, I couldn’t wait so i ended up msging him to plan out second meet up. We met up second time and this time around he was quite blunt, seemed like he was so not over everything that happened prior to breakup and leading up to it and did not want to reconcile as he thought it was never love to begin with after almost two years together. I know its obvious i should move on. But just wondering i feel that may have ended radio silence prematurely. Not sure if its too late now that i have already done further damage or if i should just continue on with a longer radio silence period and see from there….

  • lawschoolprodigy

    Hi coach adrian,

    Im a high functioning individual. Im a lawyer . However i have 1 small problem, i like to drink. I left a relationship of 8 years to be with a woman i fell madly in love with. Well a year and half later, she broke up with me due to my drinking. I loved, and do love her so much. She started dating someone else. I no longer drink. However i cannot reconcile with her until.december of 2017 . She put a restraining order on me based on the fact that i put her favorite breakfast on her porch. Please help.

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey Monica,
    Thanks for the kind words and sorry it took so long to get back to you, I’ve been really busy with coaching sessions.
    I would love to be able to speak with you over the phone in order to have the full scope of what happened throughout the relationship in order to tell you what can be done today.
    Please book a coaching session if you are interested in getting my insights and advice.
    Wishing you all the very best.

  • Christina Murray

    I am in my 40s and met a man in his 40s. I have 2 kids and we lived separately. We dated and saw each other when I was without kids. We emotionally quickly attached but I took things slow in introducing him to my kids and coming over to my home. It was a truly beautiful thing. Last year he suffered anxiety and basically had a breakdown. He accused me of being the reason. I was crushed. He returned realizing it was him. He decided to take medication which worked wonders!!! Shortly after he got fired from his 6 figure job…it was a choice between moving back home which is out of state or stay with me. I agreed to him moving in. Although I was scared he joined our home…and his depression and anxiety gradually worsened. I did not pressure I just tried to support. I worked he took care of house and kids. It was very nice…but my nagging feeling was why hasn’t he gotten a new job????within 9 months his decline was heartbreaking. I talked and persuaded to please seek help…I did start to become impatient as I saw no effort. We started arguing…bc his mood became angry…it hurt..I finally started speaking up. He moved all his belongings out when I was at work…called sobbing saying he was unwell. I do understand but the silent treatments…isolation…I miss you but u deserve better…don’t hold a candle for me…why do u miss someone and love someone who tells u to move on..those are his words..a part of me believes it’s his sickness. He wanted to be friends…I tried but it does not work 4 me at all…I told him no and some things and words are very hurtful and I need to take care of me. Mind you he’s very stubborn and has issues…as we all do. I did the crying begging pleading at the beggining but after 4 months I don’t have that energy. I have gone no contact 3 weeks so far…yes I’m holding on to the US when he felt better…Is there any hope? Or should I give up?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Christina,
      I think that I can help you turn things around.
      Book a coaching session with me if you want a clear game plan and support.

  • Kelsey

    Hi Adrian,
    I just came across your website and found your advice to be helpful and unique. I’m in a bit of a predicament and want to know if you can help me.
    My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost 2
    months ago. We were just shy of being together for 2 years. We’re young (I’m 19 he’s 18) and started dating when he was 16 and I was 17. We had a great relationship. Because of our age difference we were long distance for 9 months last year while I started college and he finished high school. That being said we saw each other every 2-3 weekends and talked all the time. We had a couple arguments during that time but nothing bad and we always moved past it. We were best friends and always very connected. Last year I got very depressed and it caused some tension with us, but he didn’t tell me how bothered he was from it until we broke up. He goes to the same college as me now.
    I was on vacation for two weeks and at the end of it he said some things were bothering him so we talked about it. He expressed concern that going to the same college wouldn’t fix tension we had and said he felt very overwhelmed with different feelings concerning us and his future. (Had a lot of pressure from home about college). I came home and we saw each other and he said it was just him feeling weird and that I didn’t do anything and we were fine. He left for vacation the next day and we fought the whole time. It was very emotionally draining and upsetting. He came home and broke up with me. He said he had a lot of emotional problems and he couldn’t be in a relationship for a while and promised it wasn’t me and there wasn’t anyone else. He asked to be friends and I said no.
    We talked a little after the breakup. I did beg a little a week after and he didn’t talk to me for weeks. We ran into each other on campus a few times and he was always nice. We met around 3 weeks ago so I could return his things. We talked and I told him I still loved him and apologized for my role in the break up and said I wanted to fix my mistakes. He said he still has feelings for me too but that it has to be like this. He was sweet and hugged me and kissed my forehead. He promised it wasn’t because of wanting to date around and said that he has a lot of problems with not knowing who he is and he’s unhappy and needs to be alone. I left and we saw each other 2 weeks ago so he could give me my things. We talked for a little and I wasn’t emotional at all. He said it would all work itself out and didn’t want to say that we could get back together in the future but also didn’t want to say never. I told him I needed some time without contact (he hadn’t been contacting me but I wanted to let him know i needed time) and he said okay and that I could contact him whenever I felt like it. It seemed in a friend way but he was also a little flirty. He hugged me and I left. We’re on good terms.
    We haven’t spoken since then, but we are friends on social media. I miss him so much. I’m past the crying in bed all day stage but I can’t get him out of my head. I miss everything about him. I don’t have any desire for intimacy with anyone else. It’s not the sex or attention I want-it’s him. I know I need to give him time. Today is the 10th day without contact-the longest we’ve gone in 2.5 years. We saw each other from afar a couple days ago and we smiled and waved but didn’t talk.
    I need this time for me to calm down and not miss him so much. I don’t really even have a desire to contact him right now. He’d probably ignore my text, and even if he didn’t, I’m too emotional to talk. I’m thinking about reaching out in a couple weeks. He told me he misses me and that this has been hard on him but he just can’t be in a relationship now. I respect that and I know I can’t push. I also know I probably come across as needy in his mind. But I truly believe this is a problem we can move past together. Can you give me advice on what to do when I contact him?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Kelsey,
      I do believe that these issues can be worked out and that I can help you get back together. Don’t hesitate to reach out and book a coaching session if you need my help to turn things around.

  • Abubakar Alli

    She broke up wit me bcoz of my family back ground and dat i might not be succesful, but only want to be my friend.
    She holla first on chat, and trying to improve on conversation.
    I still love her, did I still av chance?
    How shld I go abt it.

    • CoachAdrian

      Thanks for sharing your story; I would need to know more about the dynamics of the relationship in order to advise you appropriately.
      Please book a phone coaching session in order for us to work together.

  • CoachAdrian

    Thanks for sharing your story and sorry it took so long to get back to you; your message must have slipped through the cracks.
    If you have a restraining order placed against you, the best is for you to wait and to NOT contact her.
    You can book a coaching session with me if you would like to prepare for what’s to come.

    • lawschoolprodigy

      I just love her so damn much and cant do anything bc of the order. She passes my house. I see her when im outside but i cant reconnect for fear of my own safety.

      • CoachAdrian

        I understand and want to help! Let’s work together

    • lawschoolprodigy

      Can you please advise on how to book a coaching session

  • Ashley

    My girlfriend and I are gay. We have been together for almost two years now. She used to have this best friend who is a girl and also gay. When we started dating her friend started trying things on her because she was jealous and so my girl ended things with her best friend. Throughout our whole relationship her friend kept trying to come back I. Her life saying she was in love with her and everything so my girl blocked her on everything and ignored her and almost got a restraining order on her. Well recently me and my girl started having problems and her friend started coming back in her life. They went on a youth beach trip together and ended up having feelings for each other so my girl ended things with me and blocked me off of everything for about 2 weeks. After those two weeks she came back saying it was awful all they done was fight and she loved and missed me. We started Hingis back up and we’re together everyday for a month and a half until she cheated on me with this friend and after I found out she didn’t want me to leave so we talked t out but she ended up leaving me for that friend and now I’m stuck on if I will ever get her back

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ashley,
      You made it too easy for her to come back and so she is taking you for granted.
      I can help you change that, book a coaching session so that we can work together.
      Hope to hear from you soon.

  • Gemma

    Hi, iv been with my fiancé for 5 1/2 years. We’ve been through a lot and always come out stronger. Recently we’ve bought a house and iv become ill so cannot work, he has taken on extra hours on night shifts and now after a month living here he’s told me he wants to sell and doesn’t feel anything for me. I have to say it’s all my fault as throughout the relationship I was controlling and jelous and needy… I’m trying to change and I’m leaving him do everything possible that he wants. He tells me one minute that he needs time and space and the next he tells me that he doesn’t want to try again..he pushes me away when I try to catch him and then not long after leaves me catch him? Is there anyway I can get him back? What is going through his head?

  • Brantleyreeses

    I have been looking into booking one of your session. However, I’m not sure a game plan from what I have already will really help. My ex left me after 6 months of dating and a great romance and many talks of moving in, building a family, and even talks of marriage with time frames all brought up by him. An Ex from high school showed up, wanting to rekindle everything. He called her his one that got away. He tried very hard and she just used him. So now he is hurt, and feels broken. He doesn’t trust his feelings for me because he hurt me so.. we text and we spend time together, but he has so much to workout with himself he can’t fully be with me. I know he loves me and so does he.. he just doesn’t know how much. All I know to give him it honesty and time. I’m leaving for the navy reserve soon, and I just figured he’d have time to work it out by the time I get back from training and schooling.

  • Bruce

    I’m Bruce and been my ex on 5 years off 5 and on for 6 she said she wants to be free and still date me I love her with all my heart and soul it’s so hard to know she’s with someone else I’m just not the same don’t want to lose her but what to do help

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Bruce,
      I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable, I know it’s tough. If you miss your ex, but she’s claiming that if she wants to be free, you need to cut contact, so she can realize what being without you really means. Take a look at the “radio silence” approach under the “Philosophies” tab on my website. It may help guide you.



    My ex and I broke up yesterday. He is the type of person to never really talk about his feelings or get emotional about things at all. He said he doesn’t know what happen but he doesn’t feel the spark. This last month was extremely difficult he just bought a new home for himself and has been under a lot of stress with it. He admitted that in the last couple of weeks he began seeing me more of a friend then someone he could also be intimate with. After discussing things because he kept bouncing between not knowing where or when things went wrong, and we got off our chest everything we wanted to say. I asked where do we go from here, he said that he truly still cared, valued, and respected me we always got along amazingly and never fought which is why it made his decision so much harder. He asked that we remain close friends because he still wanted me in his life. I told him unfortunately I couldn’t give that to him because I don’t see him as just a friend. At the end I told him whenever he was ready he could contact me and he said no that he’d wait for me to make the first move on that. When I was leaving he open the door and came to give me a hug and broke down crying on my shoulder, I asked him why he crying and he just looked away and we leaned back in for another hug and he continued to cry. Obviously I still care and love him dearly, we went through a rough time that neither one of us ever expected and honestly didn’t know how to handle. I want to still be in his life but only as his significant other I can not be friends. Is there any hope on rekindling our relationship? if so how would I go about it.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Jaimie,
      I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond and I really appreciate you sharing your story with me. It sounds like a really painful situation. I know you miss your ex and want to get him back, and despite how painful this may be, the no contact rule is going to be the best way to go about creating the chance to get back together. He needs to realize what it’s like to lose you completely. Please check the “Radio Silence” information under the Philosophies tab on my website. This will help.

  • Jessey

    Hey Adrian,

    I need some advice from you. Actually me & ex are gay. I know her since she was on secondary school & ever been seperated and lost contact by 7 years. After 7 year,we reach out again and being in love and we being together about 3-4 years. I was live with her before but after I coming my own home she started can’t control her emotions and started cheated on me. We broke up after I get caught that she has someone else. I was silly by the time & begging for her love & finally I become third party on their relationship. Day by day myself getting hurt because my ex more into her new partner than me but when she was in trouble I was the first person that she needed for. She keep lying to me till she & her new partner broke up & we finally connected to each other on 2016. I thought she were already changed but seems like she still doin the same thing on me. All she can say is sorry. And now she with the newest partner again after she said feeling I useless can’t help her anything besides that is a excuses she dont want to be with me. After feeling giving up on her & giving space to myself & I still realize I still missing on her eventhough she repeadtly lying to me. What should I do? I feel I want her to get back into my life?

    • Coach natalie

      Hey Jessey,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry for my delayed response, I’ve been doing a lot of coaching. It must be very painful feeling unloved. And I can tell you miss your ex very much. It sounds like you’ve given your ex the power in the relationship, and getting some of the power back will be essential in getting her back, also. I’m going to be releasing a MP3 soon called “Back Together If Your Ex is With Someone Else” that I think you’ll learn a lot from. If you can’t wait, let’s book a session.

  • Leigh

    Hello Adrian,

    My ex and I split about 4-5 months ago (decision made 5 months ago, actually moved out 4 months ago) because I felt I needed to have children and he did not. Split was actually very amicable, no animosity and we still chat regularly. I unfortunately have come to the realization that I don’t want children unless it is with him, and have come to understand that I need him more than a specific kind of family that would eliminate him. We did have a little conversation about this and while he is understandably hesitant, he does state that he still loves me and misses me. I know from our nearly 5 years together that any kind of games (which worries me when you state “game plan” above) completely turns him off, but I still wonder what advice from the post you would recommend to someone in my situation? Thank you!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Leigh,
      Thanks for sharing your story! A game plan does not entail playing games with your ex, it simply means knowing exactly what to do every step of the way to rekindle and get back together. I know that you miss your ex, because 4 or 5 months is a significant amount of time. You need to ensure however that you are not reacting on impulse and willing to compromise about your desire to have children simply because missing ur ex or the fear of loss can push individuals to doubt what they truly want. It is possible to keep your core values and still get back together, without playing games! That’s what my philosophy is all about and I would love to work together in order for me to help you meet your goals.
      All the best either way!

      • Leigh

        Hello Adrian,
        Thank you for the reply. I am looking forward to getting some coaching from you. I have been working with a therapist since I had this crisis/revelation so I can assert with a great deal of confidence that it is a soul level knowledge that it is more important for me to be with him over having a particular type of family.

        I have been doing the piece of staying active and busy, so will not have the right amount of focus or time to devote to our session for about 2 weeks. Look for my inquiry then!

  • Victor

    2 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me after a 6 months long relationship(I’m 21 and she is 21 too). She said our personalities doesn’t match, i need more care and she needs less, another thing she couldn’t handle my cries and tantrums. She can’t imagine our future, wants to be alone. I made a huge mistake, i said maybe i will suicide and got angry. After she decided she won’t give me another chance “ever…”

    3 months in the relationship i finished my university till september, i didn’t work and my life became boring and i started to put her on a pedestal. That’s when i started crying and made tauntrums about anything. I acted. Our meetups were horrible because of me. She tried to help but i ignored them. I was insecure,childish and immature and needy. I was hopeless, i said i’m worthless and things like that and asked hre questions: “Do you love me and will you be there forever? Will you help me if i fall?” And 1 week before the breakup, i said i had nausea because of her and my friends. That’s when something broke in her. She went distant and broke up with me. She told her girlfriend she can’t see any hope to get together, can’t imagine future with me. She works with childs, she doesn’t want another one as her man. I don’t work towards my future. She is stubborn and doesn’t belive in second chance, never gave anyone a second chanse.

    In the last 2 months since the breakup, we talked sometimes and meet up with her 3 times, but it didn’t go well. I was insecure. Asked and begged if she wanna get back together.
    Before our last meeting she said ” do i wanna meet with her to prove and to get back?” and i said i give up that and asked “you wanna?”. She said no and that’s alrigth then, she agrees the meetup. But in the meetup she asked it again. I told her i love her and miss her, but life keeps going and apologized for treating her like that. She deserved more from me. She said she is not angry and yes, she would. I had to keep up the conversation always. She said she won’t have time to meet up with me in the future.

    I want to book a coaching session with you, but i don’t have money only for a 30 min talk. Do you see any chance to make change her mind and get a good game plan? Is it easy or a hardcore one or even you can’t help me?

    (She had a 2.5 years long relation ship, she left the guy and after 3 month we came together. I’m even worried about i was a “substitude” relation ship or something like that)

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Victor,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me. I can imagine the pain you’re going through. Since I know you miss your ex and want to get back together, I think a “no contact” approach will give you the time to reflect and develop a 360 perspective on the relationship and the breakup, and prepare you for trying to get back together. I think a few sessions with me can help.

  • AJ

    My girlfriend of 5.5 years just recently broke up with me claiming continued hurt from disagreements that occurred during the 5 year period. These disagreements were no more than a handful, and were relatively mild short periods of being mad. Nothing violent or ugly. In August she tells me that she wants to take abreak, but is happy for me to stay with here for the next 3.5 weeks. I live in Maryland and she lives in California. She indicated that she can’t forget the hurt or whatever from these periods, and that she gradually lost the feelings that she once had. During the 3.5 week period, I discover a strange text chain from a coworker. I confronted with this and she said there was nothing to it. We agree that we’d give it a second chance and would work things out after my return back to California later in September. Several days after returning to Maryland she indicated that she wanted to break up again. I indicated that I wanted to see here as planned since the logistics for the trip were complete. She agreed. When I got back to California she was cold and standoffish. This lead to an argument later in the first night there. Things were smoothed over. We had planned to travel to Sacramento to visit a friend a day later. Two hours before leaving for this trip, she comes home early from work and confirms that she’s in fact is having an affair with a coworker. I had suspected this. I was very upset, said some bad things and left. I left to go visit my friend without her, but two days later we had an awesome day and night together before my return to Maryland.

    We were planning to live full time together starting in September. I retired early from work to make this happen. So now I’m out of a job and without a companion.

    I love this girl more than anything. The hurt is unbearable. She still talks and texts with me but isn’t outwardly friendly. In an e-mail She told me that the love she had was the best ever. She also has an 8 year old son that I’m very fond of.

    She still cries when we talk sometimes, but isn’t interested in letting go of the person she’s with now. I don’t know how to approach this since I live so far away. I really like to get her back.

  • Shelley Ragatz

    I broke up with my ex 8 months ago due to being angry and we have continued to see each other now and then and stay in touch.. I hurt him and now he has told me he can’t see me anymore because he is seeing someone else. 3 days ago he said how pretty I am and How good I look. And two weeks ago we we had dinner and now the sudden change. He’s being very cold . Says that with me being so stubborn and my attitude he may never want to see me again. I have a few things at his house but he can’t see me so I’m not going to push it. I don’t know if he’s rebounding or if there’s even a chance for us. I’m devasted and every day is a challenge. We were together for 4 years

  • Lara

    My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me over text message almost 2 weeks ago. He hadn’tcontacted me until today so i could get my stuff. He seems pretty angry and i dont know why(though i have my theories). We had a fight earlier in the day about moving in together and hes not ready. Thats ok, as long as thats the goal and it seemed to be. We talked about me moving to his city so wed be able to see each other more etc. He offered to help with my deposit too, since its hard for me to save moving expenes. He seemed happy to talk about future plans.
    Also i should note, we each have a child mine is 12 and his is 8 .
    My daughter and i planned to leave his house the day of the fight (kids werent there when we fought). Atound 530pm. I gave my daughter thecar keys so i could ask my boyfriend a few things. One thing i asked was if we were ok. He said absolutely and that he loved me. . We kissed and hugged goodbye like always and he said he couldn’t wait to see me again on friday (the fight day was a sunday)
    5 hrs later he text dumped me with no reasoning behind it. Saying we’re over and im really pissed off. I tried to plead with him or get him to talj but no response. Today nearly 2 weeks into it he finally talked since ive been trying to get my stuff from him. He said he we’re not meant for each other, i asked if he loved me and he said not anymore. I said id like to talj and he said about what? That he dumped me over text and just “and?” No apologies or anything, just cold. This isnt the guy i know and love. I know hes angry about something but i know he doesn’t mean most of thr things he said .
    I plan on backing away. But is there any hope of getting him back? We generally had a wonderful relationship. Full of fun together and with the kids. I have pix from that weekend of all of us and hes happy and looks so in love. I dont understand what went wrong or if we can save this oneday. Advice?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Lara,
      This is Coach Natalie. Thanks for sharing your story; it is very painful to feel rejection from the man you want it from most. I know you miss your ex and are looking for ways to get back together, and I think that, in order to do this, you must really think about the issues in your relationship that he may have had or expressed during your time together. Think about the themes behind your fights (no matter how trivial they may have seemed at the time) and try to put yourself in his shoes. When you are able to identify how his mind works and what he felt, you’ll be able to rectify what triggered your relationship issues and potentially restore your relationship. I hope this helps!

  • Coach natalie

    Hi Palemon,
    Thanks for the great question! When you miss your ex and are looking for ways to get back together, the no-contact rule is a great period to reflect. However, if you two are very intertwined, as you are with the child and the car, I encourage for you to continue contact only toward those topics. Do not veer off and speak about anything other your child and transportation. If you are able to seek other modes of transportation, such as the bus or bicycle, I would encourage that, too. It will show that you’re serious about the no-contact. I hope this helps.

  • Sarah Long

    Hi. I cheated on my ex with my previous ex and I feel horrible. I’d do anything to get the ex back that I cheated on. I cut off the other guy and I’m doing my best to show him that I am changed. He keeps changing his mind though. One day he is affectionate and wants to make me his girlfriend again, the next he says he can never ever take me back and is really angry. I don’t want anyone else but him. What should I do??? We still have sex and he still cares about who I’m talking to and who I am seeing.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Sarah,
      I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It certainly sounds very painful. I know you miss your ex and you want to find a way to make it work, but the step true step is putting yourself in his shoes. He’s in a lot of pain and isn’t sure whether or not to trust you. He wants to, but is afraid to : this explains the back and forth. I recommend you taking a bit of time without speaking, so you can focus on yourself and changing the characteristics that have negatively affected your relationship. Once you’re en route to becoming this person, reach out and try to reset the relationship. I hope this helps!
      Coach Natalie

  • Stevo

    My ex girlfriend ( age 20) broke up with me (age 30) for another guy. We had a short term relationship. Lasted only 2wks. We moved in together on our first week. She had just ended a relationship with her ex and so did I. I guess we were each other’s rebounder. I know this may seem too short to have deep feeling for each other, but I was in a happy place. I felt wanted and cared for when I’m with her. However, during our time together, I found out she was talking to another guy behind my back. She confessed in the end telling me he likes this guy a lot but not to be serious but to just ” hang out” and fool around ( she wants to have sex with him). In the beginning I was furious and want to throw all her stuff off the balcony. But, I was so attached to her that I agreed to let her do it and when she’s done with him to come back to me. She went to the other guy and they “hung out”.
    Then, one day she told me she was ready to tell the guy that it was over between them and that she was coming back to me, but she didn’t because the other guy wanted something serious with her. She thought about it and chose him over me.
    Everyone is telling me to not get back with her. That she is young and doesn’t know what she wants. But, I still want her back. How can I get her back?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Steve, this is Coach Natalie. Thanks for sharing your story with me; I know it’s really hard to feel rejected but your ex, especially when you really miss her and want to find a way to get back together. I think implementing radio silence will be really helpful in this situation. One the one hand, it’ll give you the opportunity to reflect and regain self-confidence (you’ll need it to get her back) and on the other hand, she’ll get the opportunity to think about what she wants. It seems like she has a few personal things to think about. I hope this helps!

  • Jimmy

    My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I was becoming lazy and unmotivated and she wanted us to both work on ourselves. We tried to see eachother 2 days later but within the week she said she wanted space again. I saw her for the first time 3 days ago and we had a great chat, We had another long chat yesterday and I suggested me maybe try again and take it really slow. She seemed hesitant and she said she was overwhelmed by seeing me two days in a row. We kept talking and she kissed me. She instantly felt guilty says she doesn’t want to send mix-signals and wants space. She seems to believe that we can’t ‘work on ourselves’ and be together.

    I am becoming really confused. Is she trying to let me down slowly since she says she doesn’t want to give away mixed signals or is she fighting the urge to be with me and work on herself. I haven’t been able to get a straight answer.

    I am seeing her again in a week (we play basketball at the same arena). Should i just say Hi and continue to give her space? Or should I try and find out why she is conflicted?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Jimmy,
      This is Coach Natalie. Your story really resonated with me, so I wanted to reach out. I know what you’re going through is tough – limbo is a very painful place to be in. I think you’re on the right track with giving her space. This will show your evolution and your respect for her and the relationship. Also, it’s important for her to feel your absence, as it will force her to reflect on her decision. I know you miss your ex, and if you play it right, you can restore the relationship. I hope this helps.

  • Staci

    Would really love done advice.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Staci,
      I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply, I’ve been caught up with coaching. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it was a very hard one to tell. It seems to me like you need to take some time to rebuild your confidence and remember the person you really are. That is the woman your ex is wanting. I feel like implementing a no-contact period will be beneficial for you (and for him). If you miss your ex and you want a way to get him back, you must remind him of the woman he fell in love with. This means you’ll be starting your relationship over, abandoning the damaged one for a stronger, new one. If you need any help with this, please feel free to reach out and we can book a session.
      I really hope this helps.
      Coach Natalie

      • Staci

        Thank you for getting back to me. I may need your help. I did apply the no contact rule for almost two months. I reached out to him on Halloween to ask if I could drop of candy for his kids. He did reply but said that he was busy but he said he would let them know I was thinking of them and he said thanks. I just hope I didn’t make things worse, like maybe that was too much too soon since we haven’t spoken for so long. I did reach out to him again a few days ago and he replied but only when it’s not about us or a friendship even. I’m scared I lost him forever. I try to focus on myself and get back to how I once was but it’s hard and sometimes I get really sad(like right now). I don’t know what to do.

  • Joel Tetley

    Hi, my names Joel male and 25.

    The past year and a half has been a real rockey one. Not just for me but for ex two eg family members passing away moving house new jobs plus life’s stresses..

    We were together for just under a year when we broke up twice in three weeks after constant arguing and neither of us were happy. I’ve come to notice I’ve been battling depression for many years from past events and have really struggled with my emotions. We would fight we would get personal and i would leave as i just didn’t want the fights anymore. We broke up on bad terms since then I’ve got control of my bad habits and back to see my therapist who i stopped when we got together. She’s really helping. Its been three months and after a month it was becoming obvious she was seeing her ex from 3 years ago again. Social media and snap chat. I took the impression she was “moving on” but still being sour towards me. She is 21 and haven’t been sure if it was to rub it in my face so i choose to move on remove her from my life social media Snapchat pictures etc.. No negative things said on my behalf as i was hurting but left them to cross there paths once again. We’ve barely spoken. She gave Me a lift a month back went fine, i got closure more or less we can still get on. no past was bought up neither was her ex as a topic., she me told how well she was doing. 4 hours later i got texts about how she was still mad a me and felt stupid for even picking me up and bought up past events. My response to aviod an agrunent was just people do things they regret when there in a bad place. Thank you for helping i appreciate d it. Left it at that n stopped replying.We haven’t spoken since Friday when i picked up my dads girlfriend and she was with her.. She got in the car “you alright mate” all happy and bubbley. I remained calm and polite. I’ve dated and messed around in our time apart but that isn’t really what i want. Im past that.

    I still really miss her now. I realise that i was in love with her. My own personal doubts shaddowed this i became so confused about what we had together. Truth is we were both to blame but i cant help but think maybe she is on the rebound and i should fight to prove I’ve a far clearer head and understanding about my doubts and that now its settled down id like to talk to her. She now works for my dads girlfriend which is a tie i cant avoid! Despite everyone telling me and no doubt her we are wrong for each other. there was a spark I’ve never experienced quite the way had in the past. I struggled to tell her i love her and that’s my own fault. There’s been a huge amount of guilt on my half I’ve noticed which she made very clear.

    Do i keep moving on, be fair and let her be happy back with her ex like she’s made out or do i fight for this girl there’s alot of damage to fix as well as myself to work on but with out knowing whats she is really thinking im finding it hard to move forward. Im not at all where i was when we broke up neither am i finding it hard to live with out her now. I needed to battle through those mixed emotions to know if she is really who i want. We clash but there’s no denying i love her and the looks she used to give me i do believe i did mean alot to her. This is both our third relationship in 2 years but it feels different this time round. Im struggling to let this one go.

    Thank you very much any advise or a potential plan would be appreciated kind regards Joel

  • terry

    I found out my wife was in a long distance relationship with a guy 6 months ago….we started divorce proceedings but she stayed in my house with our kids and we actually had a better relationship than ever before….i changed my ways to be a better person and tried stopping the divorce but sept 23 we divorced….it wasnt till that week that she moved out….she cane abd saw me and the kids everyday and always acted flirty and stuff around me…..2 weeks ago she said she had her own house and wanted the kids, she moved the kids out the day our divorce papers came back and married this guy 2 days later….now she cries about the situation says she doesnt like this guy all that much and even gets offensive about me calling the guy her husband….she still acts flirty around me and says shell always love me but she will never come back to me….none of her decisions make any sense…she is jealous of other girls around me but hell she is a married women….says her biggest drawback towards this guy are questions he asks her like does she still love me or want to be with me….she said when he started with those questions she put space between them because she does still love me and knows her being with him is a mistake she even said that if i added her back on facebook that she would delete all the pics her and him…..beyond confused…i want her back and my family whole again…..please please please help me

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Terry,
      Thank you for sharing your story. This situation certainly does sound like it has a variety of moving parts. I know you miss your ex and you’re looking for ways to get back together. I encourage you to figure out what drove your wife to consider having a new relationship. It seems like there was something about her current marriage that she felt was unable to make her happy long term. Once you figure that out, you’ll be on the right track back to her and your complete family.
      Coach Natalie

  • devin

    My girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. It caught me by surprise when she suddenly said that she needs space from our relationship. She said she’s doing it because she lost herself and wants to find herself again. Initially I felt upset and said some hurtful things because emotions were running high. She sent me a message a few days go that we needed the breakup so we can both grow and improve our selves. She added that she’s not closing any doors in the future. I know I have my share of shortcomings in our relationship. I became comfortable and boring. Our dates and everyday activities have become more of a routine.

    Slowly but surely, I’m accepting the breakup and I told her that I respect her decision and my love for her will never change. It’s been a week since we talked. She said she will cut all our communication so we can move on from each other. Soon I realized that we needed change and the breakup is necessary. I still love her and ask for a chance to give it another try. I asked her if we can talk personally but she refused, saying she was not ready for it.

    I still badly want to talk to her and asked to take me back but I know doing it will only push her away.One thing’s for sure is that I’m not giving up on our relationship. Please help share any thoughts. I’ll do everything to start again for a better relationship.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Devin,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I know how painful of a situation you are in. I think you should take this time to decide on ways to make your relationship more exciting. What makes the no contact, or “radio silent” (read more about this on our blog) effective is you can be very productive during it. If you really miss your ex and want to find a way to get back together, finding solutions to your general issues, such as not enjoying a sense of routine, is going to be critical.
      I really hope this helps!
      Coach Natalie

  • Vita

    I dumped my boyfriend via text message 3 weeks and a half ago. We were to together for about a year. I know it’s a terrible thing to do and I’m not proud of it but he did break up with me via text message before and then begged me to go back to him. I broke up because his family were very racist towards me and his mother went as far as to go to workplace to tell me I wasn’t good enough etc… it was nasty and my ex allowed it. I tolerated a lot because I loved him but when he lost his temper on me I endured it because he has mental health issues such as insomnia, depression, paranoia, anxiety attacks etc… i dumped him 3 days later. At first it was like a burden was lifted off my shoulders but now I miss him. We have not been in contact since I sent that break up message and he responded in a hurtful manner but allowing me to break it off. He was my world, I believed he was my soul mate and sadly I still do. I have been dating and trying to move forward but I have really bad days. I miss him and I still love him and I don’t know if there’s even a chance he’d text me. Who would text their dumper? Not likely and maybe he doesn’t get that his family especially his mother cannot be so disrespectful I could have called the police on her. Any advice is welcome. Thanks.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Vita,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation, I know it’s painful to wonder if your ex will reach out, especially when you miss your ex so much. I think that this period will be very healthy for you – use the no contact to your advantage. Reflect on the relationship. When your confidence rebuilds and you start feeling good (it will happen, trust me), then you’ll be in the position to reach out.
      Coach Natalie

  • Igor Mijatov

    I broke with my girlfriend 4-5weeks ago. It was a 14 months relationhip. Lets call her M. Actually M. broke up with me. We had some fights before but at one point we decided to forget all the the past and move on, better and smarter this time. We both work at the same place, so i see her every day. 2 days beefore M. broke up with me, my ex girlfriend came to me at my workplace, she brought me a book for my friend. I didnt want M. to think that I m dealing with my ex because that was one of our/my problem. She tought that I m in touch with my ex. Beside my ex girfriend, I had a problem that I couldnt get too emotional in our relationship and wasnt able to talk about problems in our relationship due to my bad childhood. Im a person who keeps everything inside of me. I was so in love with her and she was in love with me. I had a pressure that I need to be a perfect boyfriend due to her stories abot her ex. She used to say that he was such a gentleman but they didnt worked out so good. 2 weeks before she broke up with me M. wrote me an email about our relationship that we need to talk about our past and that we need to decide weather we go on or we split. M. wanted me so bad and i did her too, but both of us made some mistakes. When the time came for talk I froze and I couldnt talk. She thinks that I dont need kisses or hugs or any of any kind of phisical connection. She tould me that was the reasen she decided to split. And thats all wrong because Im desperate for emotions and phisical contact. I made mistake after we broke up, texting her a lot and all she said that she is decisive and she made up her mind. I m thinking that she might have new boyfriend but I m not quite sure about that.
    Ive started a NC rule about 3-4 week but as we work together it is really hard not to talk to her. Ive asked her about her family and about work. Yesterday she was sort of yelling at me at work because ive helped old women at the bank office. She also said in front of out couleauges that im not a team player (because i was emotionally away) and that i just want to “sell” everything to everyone. Ive aksed why she was acting like that she said to me that Ive been like that during most of our relationship and said to me that I am an ashole.
    Justo to be mentioned she was cheating on me durign our relationship, I found that out but was willing to forgive it. 8 months after that she left me. I wanted to send her a long letter explainig her everything and bouquet of roses, but I`ve canceled it.
    Can u please tell me what to do????
    I need to say that she has a new boyfriend for sure! They have been seen together! :((

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Igor,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I know how painful it is when you really miss an ex and are looking for ways to get back together. I encourage you to continue with NC. Seeing her every day is tough, but it can also work in your favor! She can witness your evolution first hand. Use this as a tool.
      I hope this helps!
      Coach Natalie

      • Igor Mijatov

        thank u natalie, but how am i suppose to behave at work when she is nearby?

      • Igor Mijatov

        it s hard because we work together. i dont know how am i seppose to behave at work? sometimes her new boyfriend comes to her at work 😔

  • Tony

    Hi, my ex broke up with me a week ago. We been together almost 2 years, I even move to her home town. We still love each other and we talk on the phone everyday. but I took her for granted and I didn’t treat her right. She doesn’t believe me I could change. So she wants to move on and see other people. I told her I don’t want to be friends and yet I still call her and text her saying I miss you. I feel like she want to talk to me because it’s helping her move on not me. But I can’t let her go. My question is, if I continue to be friends maybe she realize and see the change. Then she’ll come back

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Tony,
      Thank you for your share. I know how challenging of a spot you’re in. I know you miss your ex and are searching for ways to get back together, but being her friend isn’t the way to go. In order for her to see the value you add to her life, she must realize what it means not to have you. By being her friend, but not her partner, she gets the best of both worlds. I encourage you to read our blog on “radio silence”, I think it may be a huge help.
      Coach Natalie

  • Yibin Jh

    My boyfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago. We had only officially been dating for 5 months, we had been together for a year all together. We had a major argument where i was harsh with my words and became offensive. He became fed up with it and broke up with me. The last text he sent me was that he thought it would be best if we did not talk and that he thought I deserved better.

    In the beginning after the break up he still bothered to reply my texts but gradually he dint reply. I tried the no contact rule for 1 week before succumbing only to find out he doesnt even read my messages now. Does it mean he has given up on me?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Yibin,
      I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know it’s very tough to miss an ex badly while searching for ways to get back together. My advice to you is to let him miss you. Right now, if you’re writing and he’s not responding, he’s likely thinking of you as needy. When you distance yourself, you’ll be able to rebuild his perception of you and hopefully mend the relationship. If you need help on developing an action plan, please book a session with Coach Adrian or I. We’re working with couples dealing with obstacles similar to yours.
      I really hope this helps.
      Coach Natalie

  • RN

    My girlfriend of 2 ½ years broke up with me 2 months ago – end of September 2016. The reason at the time was that we argued all the time. I had just finished grad school in June, and we were starting to look for our own place. In September 2015 I moved into the guest house on her parents’ 5 acre property where she was living. Her stepdad is retirement age, and is really ready for all the kids to be moved out so he and her mom can enjoy their golden years. When I graduated, he started indirectly pushing us to move, asking almost every day “Have you guys found a new place yet?” That got to both of us and that’s when the frequent arguing began. We wanted to rent a house, but with her stepdad’s impatience we were starting to open up to apartments. Most apartments around here don’t allow pets, and the ones that do didn’t have immediate openings. In Mid September, she ended it and I temporarily moved back to my parents while continuing to look for a place. At first, the breakup was weird. She was putting on an act saying “maybe things weren’t meant to be”. She wanted to come over and stay the night, But then on the weekends, she’d just go hangout with her friends like I didn’t exist. Then the first weekend in October, we had made plans to have a dinner date for Saturday night but Thursday night she said she was going to go up to Lake Tahoe and stay at her parents cabin with her friend Emily. That really made me upset! Out of frustration I told her I didn’t want to see her and I didn’t want to talk to her. A couple weeks went by and I sent her an apology text, saying how upset I was but that I acted out of emotion and didn’t mean it. She said she was really upset too, not hearing anything from me for two weeks thinking that I never wanted to talk to her again. So for the last 4-5 weeks, we’ve exchanged a few texts back and forth maybe once a week. She thinks we both need to continue moving forward but not force anything. I’m still looking for a place of my own, and she says that she hopes “For me” that I find a place sooner rather than later. That really bugs me because I feel like she’s just waiting for me to move into my own place and then she’ll want to come back. Last Saturday night she called me and we talked about things. I asked what she viewed us as, if I’m just an ex-boyfriend to her and she responded with “if that’s what you want”. I told her that’s not what I want and asked her what she wanted and all she could give me was that she already knows what she wants, but yet wouldn’t tell me what that was… I just want her to drop the act and want to work it out already.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi RN,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear about how much you’re missing your ex and your desire to resolve the issues behind the move. I think you need to focus on the root cause of the argument – as more likely than not, these doubts were present before her parents pressured you two to find an alternate living situation. If you can get to the root of your issues, you’ll be able to find solutions and ideally rectify this situation. If you need a hand, feel free to reach out to me and book a session. If you’d like a self coaching tool, take a look at our E-Book : https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/70-pro-tips-to-get-back-with-your-ex-for-men/
      I really hope this helps.
      Coach Natalie

  • Alex

    My boyfriend broke up with me 2.5 months ago after being together for 1 year. Our problems had to do mostly with not communicating our desires to one another, and also because we were both too afraid of conflicts. We only fought once, and that was on the day he dumped me. I was deeply in love and didn’t listen to his random complaints properly, i was acting defensive during our relationship. He on the other hand was spotting “my flaws” for the last 3 months and decided to break up after our summer holidays. I did everything wrong afterwards. I didn’t keep the No Contact rule, i forced him for answers via text and phone and got nothing, and we ended up cursing each other on messenger and stayed out of touch for 2 weeks (facebook blocks and all).
    I went through a health scare 3 weeks ago, he found out from a friend, and reached out in a civilized manner on the phone. We talked via text 3 times ever since, for him to see how i was doing, again very formally.
    I want to ask him out for a coffee, and if all goes well there, to say that i’m sorry for my mistakes and to tell him that i still love him deeply. However, i don’t know if i should lay low for a couple of weeks (his last reach out to see how i was doing was two days ago), for him maybe to “miss me” since up till now i was the one pushing, or to go straight for the coffee date… I know that he loves me as a person, i just don’t know if he’s still IN love with me
    Thank you

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Alex,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I know how much you’re missing your ex and want ways to get back together. You made more big statement in your comment : “I was deeply in love and didn’t listen to his random complaints properly, i was acting defensive during our relationship”. You must realize that while you only fought once, your ex had been feeling concerns about the relationship throughout your time together – you just weren’t seeing his cries. I encourage you to take a look at our e-book, as it outlines the way you’ll best be able to get him back. I think it’s just what you need to see your relationship from a more complete point of view : https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/70-pro-tips-to-get-back-with-your-ex-for-women/
      I really hope this helps.
      Coach Natalie

  • Toria

    My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for 5or 6 years and I love him sooo very much and I care about him. Even though we broke up we always for some reason managed to connect with each other. He proposed to this girl and they have been engaged for almost 3 years now and it’s been killing me inside because I want him back. This girl has a bad reputation of being a whore and no good. We still hang out and spend a lot of time together and he has spent the night with me a few times but we haven’t had sex we were close a few times but we haven’t done anything. He still love me and still have feelings for me and he said he would like for us to try again and get back together but he said he can’t just leave her if she hasn’t done anything to make him leave and he cant just leave her because what other people say about her. He has had problems with her and her phone about guys texting her but he hasn’t caught her cheating. What kind of advice can I get about this please help me somebody.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Toria,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I know you really miss your ex and want him back, especially in his current situation of being engaged. Here, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that it’s clear he’s not completely satisfied with his fiancé and he’s seeking you for completion. However, the bad news is that you are dealing with a man who doesn’t find an issue with seeking completion outside of his relationship. If he’s doing it to his fiancé, but doesn’t feel the need to leave her, you may be putting yourself in a bad situation, whether you get him back or not. Take some time to reflect on what he really means to you and whether this is the type of relationship you’d like to build upon.
      Coach Natalie

  • Joe

    I did everything I could for my girlfriend. We talked for 3 months, and dated for one, but during the 1 month we dated all I ever wanted was for her to be happy. I did exactly what I did to get her, to keep dating with me. We never argued or anything, and I cared about her so much. Then all of the sudden she wanted to break up just because she did not want to be a relationship. She said she still cared for me/liked me a lot but she just did not like being committed/or being in a relationship. She asked if we could still be friends and I told her I didn’t want to be and that I was going to block her, and she got really mad and sad. Its been around a week since we broke up and we still haven’t talked since. I wonder if she’ll ever try to talk to me again.

  • Joe

    When I was with my girlfriend, it was one of the best I felt in a very long time. I had been single for 3 years, and didn’t really want to date because I was afraid of getting hurt again like I did in my previous relationships. I met this girl at my school I go to, and we started to text/talk a lot and it was really obvious we both liked each other a lot even after about a week of talking. We continued to talk for the next 2 months very flirty, and we were kind of dating but it wasn’t official. Then I asked, and it became official and we dated for the next month, That month that we dated she made me incredibly happy, and helped with my depression. I trusted her a lot, and cared for her as she cared for me. I tried everything I did to make her happy, that’s all I wanted. I did exactly what I did to get with her, to stay with her. Then one week she started acting weird, like she didn’t want to hug me, or kiss me or anything/wasn’t affectionate at all. She also stopped replying to my texts, and left them on read. The times she did respond she would take an incredibly long time to reply. I asked her if there was something wrong and if she still felt the same way about me. She said she really does like me, and care for me she just didn’t like the fact of being ‘tied down’ aka another way of saying committed to a relationship. She is kind of a busy girl, so I understood. She also said she would still want to date, and she really likes me but just part of her does not want to date. We tried to work things out, and continued to date for a couple more days and it seemed like things were starting to get back on track. Then she purposely started to leave my texts on read, and would tweet/ and do other things on purpose to show that she was still on her phone and wasn’t replying to get me mad. That really set it off for me, and I was done so I decided to break up with her. She asked if we could still be friends, and being mad I said no, and that I was going to block her on everything and did not want to talk anymore. The second I blocked her, and everything died down I instantly regretted it and started to feel horrible, and sad. It’s been about a week now since we broke up and I know we only dated for such a short time but I still miss her so much, and I just can’t get over it for some reason no matter how hard I want to. I’m just wondering if she’ll ever try to talk to me again, or if her feelings change.

  • Coach natalie

    Hi Nic,
    I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how badly we can miss our ex’s and how desperate we can be in trying to find ways of getting back together. It seems like, if he cheated on you, you need to delve deeply into the intricacies of your relationship to realize what is missing. When people are unfaithful, it is likely because they don’t feel that they are receiving what they want or feel they deserve from the relationship. If it’s distance, think to yourself, what could we have changed? Or, maybe, could the “distance” excuse be masking a more serious problem? Take some time to reflect before making a move. Use the “no contact” period to your benefit. If you need help with this, please feel free to reach out to us and book a session. I can help you analyze what went wrong.
    I hope this helps.
    Coach Natalie

  • Chad

    My ex and I have been broken up for about two months now. We were in a 2+ year relationship after being best friends for 6 years. I flirted with other girls over social media last year while I was in a dark place mind wise and I thought we moved passed it but she claims she hasn’t and sees me as a cheater. I even let her go on my phone all the time and I showed her that i deleted all the social media accounts.We still talk basically everyday but I know that she is talking to random guys she met on tinder. She isn’t the type to hook up so I’m not worried about that. What I am worried about is that she is talking more to this guy who I know is a player and I do not want to see her get hurt. Her friends support her and him being together but they do not know the kind of guy he is. I’m wondering if I should tell her or even her close friends what kind of guy she is dealing with because as a friend I am looking out for someone I care about. She told me the other day she feels bad for what she did to us so I know she still has some feelings for me. I’m giving her the space she wants as she said it wasn’t a 100% no that we weren’t getting back together and that she just wants space and time. I believe we will get back together but I just do not want to see her get hurt by that guy. What should I do? and does it seem like we have a chance of getting back together?

  • Confused

    ex and I have been together since we were in the 8th grade, which is
    12.5 years. We have always been really close. In facts as an 8th
    grader when he asked me to date I didn’t want to, because as a kid I didn’t
    think we would make it through high school and beyond and I didn’t want to lose
    one of my best friends, so I made him promise then that no matter what he would
    remain my best friend (silly I know and I believed it.) We’ve had many really
    good times and some really rough patches too (I partially feel this comes with
    growing up in a relationship- going from a kid to adult responsibilities.) I
    feel he believes I have held him back from many experiences as when we were
    young he wanted to drink, smoke, and try drugs and I never left him, but
    encouraged him to stop and as we became adults we didn’t partake in those
    activities. Within the last 1 year or so we both started working at a factory
    (not our long term goal- wanted just to work to save to finish our schooling,)
    we both got placed on different shifts for over 9 months this was extremely
    hard on our relationship. I knew I couldn’t get to 1st and he tried
    to get to 2nd shift, but nothing worked. I would cry to him for
    missing him so bad every time we spent together (and I hated it, but things
    were so hard when I had been used to seeing him all day almost every day.) He also went into maintenance and decided he
    didn’t care for it (he said work made him miserable he hated it and didn’t
    enjoy anything anymore- this went on for months.) Lately he told me that he
    realized he was just going to be miserable forever and once he accepted that he
    became happy. He told me he was done
    pretending with me, and that he loved and cared for me, but not like I do him.
    He started smoking, drinking (although he told me he doesn’t like it- but still
    does it, chewing, and hanging out with a guy from work and his family (I was
    told his guy and his wife life to get effed up, but I don’t know how true it is.
    My ex won’t hang out with his brother either as he said he drinks too much and
    seems to want space from his family too. Almost seems he is pushing everyone away that he knows cares about him. It feels like anything that meant
    something to him or I he has changed drastically- almost like I never knew him-
    it feels like a stranger- likes he is rebelling. I believe if we had gotten on
    the same shift sooner things would be different as we could have had a life
    outside of work- for nine months he came to my 20 minutes lunch every day and
    we talked on almost every one of our breaks (this it’s self takes a toll as we
    shouldn’t live around the workplace.)He tells me I am/was a big part of his
    life and will always be, that we will be friends regardless if we are with
    someone else. I told him if you are with someone else they will not want you to
    be my friend- he said he didn’t care. I said I don’t think it would work if he
    was with someone else, as it would kill me. He just turned 27, and when we were
    in high school we decided 27 was a good age to get married (I never pressured
    him about it, in facts he’s the one that wanted to be married and have a house
    and all that- now he says he doesn’t think he ever wants to be married.) He
    used to jokingly ask me all the time about marrying him and I’d giggle and say
    no we are too young. He told me within the last year that he knew when we were
    juniors in high school I was the one he would marry. Before turning 27 he kept
    telling me 27 wasn’t a good age, and bad things happen at 27. I don’t know if
    this a age crisis he is experiencing or what. We had so many plans. The people
    on first shift knew we were together and would tell me how great it was we
    would be on the same shift, and how much he loved me- I don’t even know their
    names and these are people he told in recent months even. They didn’t know he
    just decided to not want to be with me “said we need to find out who we are (but it also feels like he is trying to impress his new friends by doing what they are dpoing)- he
    needs space.” He now won’t even look at me. When we were younger I asked him if
    he thought we needed space and to see other people and he said no and I agreed.
    On Oct. 15 he came over early from work to surprise me on Sweetest day with
    seeing him, gifts, and affection. He came over that Sunday, but got sick and
    had to go home. Off and on that week he would come to my lunches as he wasn’t
    feeling well. He also said he was sick of making his own decision as they haven’t been good this year. The 21st he came to my lunch and we talked about
    carving pumpkins and everything was good. The 22nd I found out about
    a band gig they had and I felt left out about and blew up, he then asked me, “so
    what you want to go on a break?” I said, “no.” I was upset, because I felt I
    was missing out on so much of our lives, and not getting to go to his gigs or
    anything else. He then said a break? I said, no again. Then later he said we
    were, but I wasn’t even sure by the end of the conversation. He came over just a couple of weeks ago and got his tools and said they are important to him, but apparently at the moment tools, substance, and new friends are more important that our long-term relationship and our dog we share. There is so much
    more to add to all of this, but I feel so confused and I don’t understand. I love and care for him with all my heart.

  • robert dalton

    How do I call you? I have been broke up for two months, I’ve read a lot of things on the internet as to what to do. I feel really good about myself now but I also feel like if I could get back with my ex girlfriend, I could make her happy. I lost myself in the relationship but now I feel like I’m back and I would like an opportunity to try it again but I can’t talk her into meeting me because she’s dating someone else. I would like some advice on how to get her to meet me or get her to not want her new boyfriend. Some phone coaching may be required, thanks

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Robert,
      Thank you for your share, and I’m really glad to see that you feel you’ve entered a stage where you can begin rekindling with your ex! Please click on this link to schedule an over the phone coaching session; Adrian or I would love you help facilitate this process. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
      Looking forward to connecting!
      Coach Natalie

  • Omer Taha

    Hello adrian
    I booked a session with you but my paypal payment is going to take 3 days to process. Is there any way i can get the coaching session while its being processed.. im in a tight situation

  • Drena

    So the guy I’ve been seeing and was about to get married to pulled back because his long time ex whom he has a kid with told him she was in love with him and begged him for a second chance. He now says he realizes he loves her and me. He says he needs to figure himself out. She moved to Florida with his kid so now he’s moving down there with them to see if they can rekindle things. He told me many times I made him so calm and she never did but she’s telling him she’s changed. I don’t know how to handle a situation because I am in love with this man so much. I understand how it feels to not have your child around as I’ve gone through divorce too. They were never married because she wouldn’t marry him. He keeps saying that he thinks that I’m the love of his life or one true love but He thinks he has to go down there and give her a chance because she is constantly crying to him and upset. Even if I bring up things he’s told me she’s done to him he’s changed his story and sticks up for her. I need advice as to what I should do with the situation.

  • Travis Hill

    I ended up breaking up with my ex because the situation had become toxic for me… She had lost a child years ago because of the “Choking game”… She has such deep depression that she copes using alcohol… so much so that she got a DUI…. I really loved this woman…. I really still do… She was so apologetic after the DUI… thinking that I would break up with her… I did not want to break up with her…. I wanted to get her help… Well… I myself have been struggling from depression because I have fought Lyme Disease and I let several other women use me in search of a relationship… One night I was bitten by something while both of us were in bed with each other… I sat up contemplating what to do… I was really itching… and could not find what was biting me… She raised up and said… Nothing is biting me…. if you don’t want to be here you can always go home or sleep on the couch… ( That right there was so unloving… it totally shocked me… ) From there she continued to be very stern and almost angry concerning me paying her bills…. I had been paying most of her bills all summer… and I had also started paying her lawyers bill for the DUI…. One day she was being overly mean about me paying her lawyers bill…. I told her I was going to pay it…. and I did …. I had to drive an hour and a half away just to pay her lawyer in person…. after I paid it…. She was still angry at me…. I had asked the Lord if she loved me for who I was as a man…. or did she love me for just the money I was providing her with…

    I confronted her later when We talked on the phone… I told her that she needed to get counseling help like we had talked about or I needed to stop seeing her because I really believed she needed the counseling for the death of her son…. She let me have it…. like I was judging her…. I wasn’t…. I just wanted her to get help… just like I know I needed help for my own self esteem… and depression…. She never mentioned anything about keeping our relationship together… all she kept asking me to do was to keep paying her lawyer fees… which I told her I would not do…. because it was not fair for me to keep paying for her lawyer fees… and for her to just sit back and do nothing…. it was like I was being punished… I did not want her to be punished… but I did want her to take her own responsibility for her own DUI… I had promised to help her in paying her lawyer… but I never told her that I would pay the whole thing….

    Anyways….. deep down…. I am still in love with this woman…. She could be so good…. but I knew I needed to get out because I felt like I was only there to pay the bills…. and I was expendable…. not a priority…

    I pray that I will get over her soon….

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Travis,
      I’m Coach Natalie. Thank you for sharing your story, I know how painful it must have been. I know all hope seems lost now, but I really do feel like this time apart will be good for you both. It will give you the time to heal from the relationship and to determine what you want, and it will give her to the time to reflect on herself and the tremendous pain she seems to be carrying.
      Don’t forget that we’re here to support you.
      Coach N

  • Christina

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me the day after we got back from his family vacation in July. I didn’t see it coming. Vacation was a lot of fun. It was the second year I had joined him on his family vacation to Myrtle beach. This year his grandfather kept asking him if I was the one and his aunts and uncles kept asking us about marriage and kids. My ex would always talk to me about our future together. The day after we got back from vacation he showed up at my doorstep and said he didn’t see me in his future anymore. Every week after that he would try to contact me whether it was through Facebook, snap chat, texting or even calling me. I tried to ignore him as much as possible because he said he wanted space and time away from me… but his actions weren’t showing that. In September he texting me asking me to be his date for a wedding just as friends. we ended up meeting up a few weeks before the wedding. He said that he loved me and he wanted to try to date again because he loves me more than just a friend. I agreed to give it another try. We were talking again and everything felt just right. The day of the wedding he surprised me by taking me to lunch where we had our first date. Later we went to the wedding and had an amazing time dancing the night away together. On the bus back to the hotel a woman asked us when we were getting married. My ex turned to me and said I’m still confused and I need more time. We stopped talking that night. The next day I get a bunch of I miss you texts but he still wanted time apart. He still continued to reach out to me every week. Now he is tagging me in his fb posts and tagging me in pictures from the wedding. I have people texting me questioning me if we are back together. He texted me the other day saying that he misses his best friend. He said he wants me to come visit him soon at his new place and asked if I wanted to get dinner before that. I told him no to dinner but I would like to check out his new house. When we texted he seemed so excited to talk to me and wanted to share so many things about his life to me. I was surprised just because he is a very private person. Last night I went to a holiday party and my ex was there. He was surprised I was there but happy to see me. I did my own thing and wasn’t around him much. After they all wanted to go to the bars but I didn’t go. He told his friends that he was going to text me to come out and they told him to leave me alone. He told them multiple times that he misses his best friend and he ended up texting me three times and I never responded. I don’t know why he tells everyone he misses me but doesn’t do anything about it. I want him back! I miss him too.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Christina,
      I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I know it’s tormenting to miss your ex and to try to find ways to get back together. It seems like your ex does love you, but has a doubt as to whether you can make him happy long term. I encourage you to reflect on your relationship to determine what went wrong. This will be your first step toward getting him back. If you need help with this, I encourage you to book a session. I can help.
      Coach N.

  • Max

    So, My ex girlfriend actually dumped me after a two years relation, sorry for the long story, as I believe that this have a lot to do with why we are here today, during the first year, everything seemed like if we are both in heaven, where we shared lots of interests where we almost lived together during for the first year,
    knowing that she is still in collage, and that I am 10 years older than her, the girl lost her father after he unfortunately made a huge financial mistakes which lead him to jail, moving with her mom, a younger sis and a brother to her grandmother’s house, with a very poor situation, my ex started to work as a team leader assistant in some NGO, in order not to drop from collage, and I was so supportive at a time, and I wish I am still there for her anyways, that changed almost everything for the next year, where I actually had to move to another city, and I used to visit every month or so, and to stay near for at least 3 to 4 days each visit.. the new situation here, where all family members and relatives from the mom’s side, in addition to the mom herself and the 26 years brother started to hate me for no clear reason, or as I believe that this because that of her always showing them that I’m somehow wiser and letting them know my negative opinion on how they are dealing with their problem of being in debit, they turned totally against us started to convince her that I am no good for here, until lately her brother started to threaten her literally, to break up with me,

    long story short, seems that I was literally showering her with all caring and appreciations I thought needed at that time, as I thought I became the only one left for her. we build our ideal dream and ideas for what shall we be doing, I started our own startup here in my hometown so she can follow as soon as she finish her collage and until I get us financially ready, her family members however knew that my family is not ok with her new circumstances, and that they always wished for me something better than this, we continued to support each other for almost another year, where she was talking to me without them knowing..
    anyways, as a collage girl, who apparently wanted so bad to live just a normal life, she started to raise up some new issues, started to hang out with some new male friends, started to convince herself as if we are having something to conflict about.. dumped me once, kissed someone on the exact next day, we came together again, started to lie on me on very stupid things.. etc, all what does it take to convince herself and I that what is broken is broken, and we can’t become one anymore.. i promised to stay on her side til my last breath and up until now.. though i am not convinced at all.. and I can’t get to sleep anymore, feeling that we split a part only for our stupid circumstances, that has nothing to do with us.. I still believe that this girl is a soulmate to me, and that regardless of whatever happened.. I still can’t let her go, still have the feeling that I have to stick to my promises that I want let her go, no matter what our surrounding (which we were dreaming of changing it together once) will bring to us, and on top of all, I am not convinced at all to leave my beloved in such a surrounding of a very aggrisave family, working extra hours in order to pay checks for her father, and yet to come her brother depts!
    any advice on how can I re-convince my baby back? please!

  • Lee Parker

    Hi Adrian. Hope you are well
    My wife and I have been separated for almost 5 months now. Have been together for 13 years, 8 of that was married. We have 2 young boys together (5 and a 2 year old). She fell out of Love with me. In the beginning when I was told, like a typical guy, I tried to ‘fix’ things quickly. As time went on I began to realise this is not a quick fix and I can see why she fell out of love with me. I took our relationship for granted, became comfortable, did not keep the spark alive and made our relationship become groundhog day. My wife had more of my back than I had of hers. I am fighting to salvage our marriage. In the beginning of being told all of this, I tried to talk to her and did quite a lot of letters hoping she would see the good in our relationship overall. After some time and perspective I started to see how hard things were for her and I stopped just thinking of how hard things were for me. Thus far the action I had and have taken is counselling for myself, started to exercise (which my wife always wanted me to do, I saw this as nagging when really she was being loving and wanting the best for me, if only I saw this before), she always did the finances and I have gotten better at this now given am living on my own. We have arrangements in place for the kids to come to me every weekend etc. She wants space which I have and am giving however I have made mistakes since, for example by buying her a gift recently, also for making a tape recording and reading our wedding vows on this recording (I figured she can listen to the recording or not), I am constantly trying to better myself, have become more religious and keep reminding myself (via talking to myself, by notes on my bathroom mirrors and notes on my steering wheel in my car) to never give up on her, her heart is so hardened towards me however I cannot give up. She tried so hard for our relationship, I feel it is my turn now. The relationship in the beginning and middle was great, when the kids came along naturally things slow down a bit and I guess we just drifted apart. She said she lost her joy and that the spark had gone and that for some time she just “buried her feelings and put one foot in front of another”. I read a lot of articles (countless ones) about what to do, what to say and how to reattract one’s wife again. You sometimes get lost in all the information, Hoping you can help. Thanks again.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Lee,
      Thank you for your share. I know it’s really tough to miss your ex really bad and when you’re trying to find a way to get your ex back into your life. I really congratulate you for taking the time to assess your situation a bit. It does seem your wife was feeling some emotional neglect from you and that’s likely why she decided to end it. If you’d like to create a strategy geared toward getting your wife back, I encourage you to consider booking a session with Adrian or myself. We’re here to help.
      Wishing you the very best either way,
      Coach N.

  • Broken heart

    My ex and i split about 5 weeks ago officially. But it was over before that. We had so many rows and a lot of stress. I have suffered from depression and taken out my anger etc on her. Shes is also someone who doesnt open up and we both pushed each other away. When we first split up i begged and pleaded. Stupid i know. She said she can only see us as being friends. At the moment. And she doesnt want to give me false hope by saying she mighy try again. But said she would be gutted if i met someone else. I have opened up to her since and told her some stuff that made me jealous etc and why i acted a certain way. She said this helped her understand me and what happened a bit better. We have since had some time apart and she has been checking my snapchat every time i post something and on a few occassions in txt she has seemed to be a bit angry still. She opened up a small amount but not much. We text a bit them she goes quiet. Its like hot and cold. She text today quite abrupt when i text her first. She ended the text with a ‘f#ck’ you. No kiss no emoji or lol. We normally slag each other as banter so i wasnt sure if she was joking or not. I responded with love you. No kisses etc either. She responded with ‘c#nt lol’ again the c word is a word she used to use affectionately when we were together. Following this we had some banter and what seemed like light flirting. There are small things shes been doing that seem like she is battling with her feelings for me. She said she was going into the new year with a fresh head but still seems a bit narked over things but just isnt saying it to me. She thinks i cant have fun or be myself with her. This is not true. Its just when we argue etc that we cant be ourselves. I dont know where to go from here. Im not pushing things and ive sort of made myself emotionally unavailble cos i always was to her before the breakup. What can i do to move things along? I love her and want her back

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Broken Heart,
      THank you for your share. If you want to move things along with your ex, you’re going to have to let things currently heal. I encourage you go to no contact for a little while and to let all the wounds close. I really think this will help you extensively in your journey of rekindling the relationship.
      Coach N.

      • Dreida

        I have a similar situation, I suffer from depression, but he was emotionally unavailable, we fought a lot. So, what is a good amount of time for there to be no contact?

  • BabyChong

    My ex for 7 years and I have split up almost 2 months, he cheated. We are in LDR, so when we meet, we sometimes would browse each other phones (not that we do not trust each other but it’s just a habit of knowing / understand more in terms of who do we normally chat with and see any photos that we have missed out) and I found pictures of them in his phone, he did not say a word but he denied that they are together. Then, we went into a “cold down” period and during the period, we barely talk but he still text me couple of times to ask me to take good care of myself. I have thought through and I told him I am ready to forgive and forget, I want to work things out and I have decided to quit my job overseas and go back to be with him for good. He asked me to give him more time to “think”, but after 3 weeks, he wanted to break up officially. Since then we did not talk to each other, not that I am angry but I am devastated and i do not want to force things out at this moment. I did stalk him on fb and he seems very happy hanging out with his friends and the girl was also there! He then changed his facebook profile pic of us into black page and then he removed our pictures. It’s tearing up my heart. I thought during this period, he would’ve started to miss me or regret but he doesn’t seem like it.

    I am very close with his family and they have been contacting me and visited me as well. I was told by the mother that he confronted to them that we have broken up but it’s just a temporarily break and he insisted there’s nothing between him and the girl. But the fact that he is not contacting me, hanging out happily with his friends, posting party pictures and picture with the girl and removing our pictures on social media indicating otherwise.

    I am devastated but I am still waiting for “miracle” to happen. It is very hard to let go because I really love him and he used to love me so so much. He put in a lot of effort to go after me back then, and we put in so much effort to maintain our LDR and a month before this incident, I still received a card from him, telling me that he’s sorry for spending lesser time with me because he is working hard for our future, hoping that we can get married soon. Then, things happened! It is really hard to accept and I think he still love me. If it is not because of me saying that “please let me go if you do not love me like how you used to be”, I think he will not let go of me.

    I do not know what I can do to win him back and I do not want to be like chasing/ begging him back. He might feel annoyed and irritated. I miss him so much and I want him back so much. But at the same time, he needs to be aware and responsible for what he has done to hurt me. Then only we can work things out. What can I do?

    • Coach natalie

      Hi BabyChong,
      Thank you for your share. I’m sorry to hear about your current situation and know that there’s nothing worse than missing your ex really bad. I really think you can take advantage of this time – use to to return to yourself. Try to identify if you are ok with him having been with another woman. Is this what you value in a relationship? If so, then I can help you strategize how to go about this to optimize your chances at getting your ex back. However, if not, then maybe you just dodged a bullet!
      Coach N.

  • Miss confused

    Hey, In August me an my partner broke up, we had been together for nearly 8 years and we had grown apart , we was arguing a lot an I felt we was together for convenience, we split he moved out an I thought it was what I wanyed, I met a new friend an we was just friends baring in mind I worked hard to keep me an my ex going cause if I didn’t make an effort there was none he took on to much an we hardly seen each other, anyway my ex found out about my new friend an he says I broke his heart an how he loved me this annoyed me Cause I needed this when we was together or the 1st couple of months we broke up, I was hurt an he appeared to be okay so I always thought we did rite breaking up, then the tears an the broken man appeared an this got me angry, he called me names looked for stuff to make me an my friend more than we was so I stuck the knife an put in a relationship on Facebook day after I realized it was a very low dig an wanted to sort things with my ex, he was having none of it, he hated me, in assured him.I’ve never had sex with this person, an I’ve said I wanna work things out an hopefully slowly become a family again, bit he says I broke his heart he nearly had a break down Cause of me and he moving in with his life but now I really want him back, what do do anyone any advice I’m really struggling, how can he go for me being the only lobe of his life an 2 weeks after not wanting anything to with me, lots went on whenwas together, I’ve always said we was both to blame for the break up but he says it was all me, I’m so confused. Helpppppppp… Thank you x

  • jarred

    My situation is confusing at the moment and we’ve been broken up since mid december, she went on vacation one day with her family i don’t know if she cheated or not but she lied about seeing him so I decided to end the relationship, later I had decided to try to get her back and fix things because i knew that we could and she wanted to wait and reconcile but in my mind I thought that she was basically saying that she wanted to leave so I did all of the post – breakup messes(begging, annoying, etc.) Then I had found out that they were dating on Christmas and so I had decided to just let her be her and i blocked her on some social media so that i could heal and then I had found out that they had broke up and I tried to comfort her because she had said that she wanted me in her life still but wouldn’t give me an answer to whether or not she wanted something with me again, we became friends because i had calmed down and we talked a little after a week of no contact , she said she didnt have a bf and if i had someone and i said no ,Then the next day we talked and she was sending me mixed signals like she was saying (that i hurt her more than she can explain) she had gotten with another guy and lied to me about it, she also basically got him to follow me on social media just to show me a picture of them together and i just told her we could just be friends and she said we could but not as close as we were and so I left it at that and i unblocked her on social media. Well here’s the confusing part when she added me she instantly posted a picture of them together as well but I didn’t react to it and a couple of days later he deleted the picture and they randomly broke up after that as well. I decided to contact her because she also posted (always getting heartbroken) I didn’t know if it was for me or what but I didn’t react but I tried to comfort her we had talked awhile, she finally was answering my texts (before she would ignore me or whenever I blew her phone up) well a couple of days ago I had asked her that this girl I’m dating might not like us talking like you said that your and didn’t and she blew me up saying “that it was okay he contacted me laat night and we’re going back out and that i was the one who talked to her in the first place so” i didn’t respond and she posted a picture but took it down after a couple of hours? (I know theyre not dating anymore) I’m currently a week into no contact again and I’m just wondering if she said she’s moved on then why is she trying to get me jealous? And do i have a chance with her if I stay in no contact even if she doesn’t text me during the no contact period?