I was talking with one of my clients earlier today who was telling me that her ex has been contacting her quite a lot lately, despite the fact that he was the one that told her that they were done “for good.” She was curious about what was going on and what it meant now that he was texting her all the time. Her exact question was, “Why does my ex keep texting me if he told me that there was no chance that we’d ever get back together? Is he still interested in me or what?”
As confusing as this type of thing may be, it’s also quite common. That is why I wanted to dedicate this article to this theme today. I’ll go over the most common reasons why an ex might continuously text you after a breakup, but I’m also going to explain what you can do in this type of situation to make your ex want to be with you again! So without further ado, let’s jump in.
Why does my ex keep texting me if they broke up with me?!
It can be incredibly frustrating to find yourself constantly being contacted by the person who broke your heart. As a coach specialized in getting people back together, the majority of the individuals I work with want to get their exes back. So having an ex text them is very exciting, but it can also put them on an emotional roller coaster.
One moment their ex is saying, “I never want to see you again” and the next they’re asking them how they are and what they’ve been up to. It makes it very hard for a person to navigate through the emotions that surge up in these types of situations and figure out how to approach the situation in the right way.
Many of the people I’m working with are in active no contact, so they’re even more confused about how to react to an ex contacting them all the time!
I am going to explore the answer to your questions of “Why does my ex girlfriend keep texting me” or “How come he keeps calling me after he broke up with me” by explaining what happens in a person’s mind post breakup, especially if you’ve been actively working on making some changes in your life…
Why does my ex keep texting me now that I’m giving them the space they wanted?
One of the most common questions I receive in my one on one coaching sessions is “Why does my ex keep texting me if they broke up with me?!” An ex will be hot and cold. One day they’ll show you interest and then the next day they pull away, so what are you supposed to believe? Are you on the right track? Do they want you deep down but you’re seeing signs your ex is scared?
Or are they toying with your emotions in some kind of weird power trip?
First things first, I want to stress the importance of not letting your ex’s hot and cold behavior frustrate you and push you to act in a way that you might end up regretting. Keep this in mind – even though the break up occurred, it doesn’t mean that the feelings your ex had for you just disappeared into thin air. There are still emotions that they feel and they are used to being in touch with you, especially if you had been together for an extended period of time.
These habits don’t just evaporate the moment you break up, and for many people, it takes a while for them to develop a new rhythm. So it’s normal for an ex to text you and want to reach out to you simply because they still have feelings and emotions for you.
More importantly however, if you have been receiving texts from your ex, it means that you’re doing something right. You are not acting in a way that is pushing them away or making them think, “Oh thank God that I broke up with my ex and don’t have to be anywhere near them anymore!” You’re experiencing quite the opposite actually and you’ve found yourself in a position where you’re thinking, “Why does my ex boyfriend keep texting me all the time…?”
Why is my ex texting me: He or she recognizes that you’re doing well
This should actually give you a big confidence boost that you’re on the right track. You’ve been able to successfully control your emotions, you’ve been able to define a clear game plan, and you haven’t pushed your ex away, so now they’re texting you.Yes, it can be frustrating because like I said above, it feels like you’re being put on an emotional roller coaster, but just remember that this should be used as something that can reassure you that you’re on the right path.
You know, a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that the opposite of love is hate, but the truth is that the opposite of love is indifference. If you didn’t have any news from your ex, if he or she never went out of their way to contact you, if they didn’t pay attention to anything you did (both in real life and on social media), then chances are that they might not be feeling much for you. That said, if your ex keeps texting you, it is very likely that they still feel something for you!
As you read that, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of, “Well great, if they feel something for me, then why aren’t they with me?”
It’s a valid question, but what usually ends up happening in these situations is that your ex’s head is telling them one thing whereas their heart is telling them another. They can have a bad taste left in their mouth from the relationship, but it doesn’t mean that the feelings of love that they had for you have disappeared.
Their head could be telling them, “Hey remember why the relationship fell apart in the first place? There was this problem, there was that problem, and you broke up because you couldn’t fix it!” This is something to keep in mind if you truly want this person back, because we need your ex to see you in a new light… but more on that in a moment.
The answer to “Why does my ex keep texting me even though they broke up with me” is usually simply that they’re having an inner struggle where they have feelings for you, but they feel like they need to keep their distance because a relationship wouldn’t work. But there is another possible reason…
He broke up with me but still texts me every day: When someone is stringing you along
Unfortunately, there is another, less pleasant reason behind regular texts from your ex after they break up with you. In some cases, an ex will recognize that you’ve been making these positive changes and that you’ve been working on becoming the new and improved version of yourself, and it will make them want to keep you close…
I say “unfortunately” because there are some cases in which the ex in question has no intention to act on this, and they just want to make sure they have access to you – should they ever feel like entertaining the possibility of taking you back. This puts you in a position of lesser power, but don’t worry.
If you suspect that this might be the case and you keep getting post break up texts, you can change things and make your ex realize that they actually stand to lose a lot if they let you go. You just need to make sure that they understand that you are not placing them on a pedestal and they actually do stand to lose you if they don’t value you.
How to make your ex realize that they CAN be very happy with you in the long run
When you have an ex that keeps texting you despite the fact that he or she broke up with you, it means that they’re unsure about whether or not their feelings for you should be ignored, the relationship’s potential to make them happy, or whether or not they should think seriously about being in a relationship with you.
The remedy is therefore presenting yourself in a new light to your ex and making sure that he or she recognizes that you have taken note of the changes that needed to be made, and that the breakup helped to open your eyes to these elements. You’ve used this breakup as a catalyst for very positive changes in your life, and you are now confident in what you bring to the table.
This article is coming to an end, but I highly encourage reading this article on how to get your ex back, or reach out to me or a member of my team by clicking here for one on one guidance. By asking you targeted questions, we can define a custom action plan that will help you make your ex want you back for good!
If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know the answer to “Why my ex keeps texting me”
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!