There are a few questions that I am asked on a regular basis, and one of the ones I hear every week is, “Does silence make a man miss you?” People have heard of the No Contact Rule, and they want to know if cutting off communication with your ex really works. Well, there is a reason why this is considered one of the most powerful techniques for getting an ex back, but it’s not as simple as you might be thinking.
Not talking to an ex is one thing, but there are some other elements that need to be happening simultaneously if you want to see real results. You can cut communication with your ex and go out partying with your friends every night, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to get the reaction you want from him. The simple fact that you aren’t speaking to him isn’t going to be the game changer. It’s what you’re doing at the same time that’s going to make all the difference.
That is why I wanted to write this article for you today. I want to go over what needs to be going on while you’re not in touch with your ex if you really want to make him want you back. It’s not black and white; there are other elements at play that need to be taken into consideration. This is how you’re going to successfully get someone back by using a tool like the no contact rule.
NC Rule: Men respond to silence and distance
Before we go any further, I’d like to take a quick moment and go over what the no contact rule, aka radio silence is exactly. There is always a misconstrued conception and people end up using it incorrectly and not getting the results they were hoping for.
The NC Rule basically consists of cutting contact with your ex for a predetermined period of time, usually ranging from three weeks to three months, depending on how the breakup took place. The goal of this period is to make your ex miss you by giving them silence after a breakup, but it doesn’t end there.
Sometimes I get emails from people saying that they haven’t reached out to their ex in weeks and they still haven’t seen any signs of interest from them, and I always ask what else they’ve been doing during their radio silence period. If the answer is that they’ve just been out having wild nights getting drunk with their friends and not much else, I tell them that it’s time to change the strategy.
Giving someone space to miss you requires a bit more than that.
It’s true that you might be wondering things like, “How long does it take a guy to miss you when you’re in no contact, and the answer is that it will vary for everyone. The thing that will make the most difference is how you handle the time you spend not in contact.
If you’re sitting around, checking your phone for a message or a missed call from your ex every five minutes, you’re going to drive yourself nuts. What’s more, you won’t be doing anything to make your ex feel more inclined to go out of his way to talk to you.
I know you hear, “Cut him off, let him miss you” all the time, but it’s what you do with that distance between you that’s going to make all the difference..,
Does silence make a man miss you? Yes but only if…
The answer is yes, no contact makes him miss you, but only if you use the time during which you implement this tool wisely. As I said above, waiting around for a call from him or spending all your time partying isn’t going to make him think about you and go, “Man, I miss her… I wish I had the opportunity to talk to her…” If he sees that you aren’t doing anything to improve your life, he will be less inclined to feel a desire to be close to you again.
However, if you use this time wisely and you actively work on improving your life, you can spark his attention like never before. That is what will determine the success of your no contact period!
So starting now, if you’re giving him radio silence after a breakup, start focusing all your energy on becoming a new and improved version of yourself. The way to do this is easier than you think!
Now that you aren’t in contact with your ex, you can focus entirely on yourself. Now is actually the time to become selfish, but in a good way! It’s normal that perhaps you dedicated most of your time and energy to your ex, but now you have to focus all of that energy on no one but yourself. Think about what elements of your life got put on the back burner while you were in this relationship. Your friends, family, hobbies, professional projects, physical fitness. Challenge yourself to fill up your schedule with activities that you miss, and make it a point to introduce new activities as well.
One of the keys for feeling better after a breakup is filling up your schedule with things and people that bring you joy, and now is the perfect time to start thinking about new activities. Have you ever wanted to try something you just never had the time for? Well now is the time!
The more time you spend doing things that make you happy, the more magnetic you’re going to become. People who are genuinely happy attract people like moths to a flame, and trust me, your ex will take notice.
If you start to remind him of the person he fell in love with in the first place, his attention will be sparked. If you remind him of the person he fell in love with in the first place AND he sees that you’ve become a new and improved version of that person, you’re going to become irresistible.
This is when your silence is going to be most powerful!
Just cutting contact with him is not enough. It would be too easy. The fact of the matter is that you have to become proactive and grab life by the horns. The most active you become, the more he will notice that something is different, and the more likely he will be to want to get closer to you.
The next time you see him, everything will change. I know that that sounds hard to believe because you’re feeling so sad right now, but when he realizes that he’s been taking you for granted, there will be a shift. Up until now, you might have been handing everything to him on a silver platter. The moment he realizes that you are no longer at his beck and call, and that he doesn’t get to talk to you whenever he feels like it, he will instinctively begin to miss you.
This is when you can begin working on reestablishing chemistry and attraction.
Now is the time to establish your value. The more you value yourself, the more your ex will be forced to value you as well. If you’re out there living an exciting life, your ex is going to say, “Oh wow, I want to be a part of that!” They’ll remember the good times you shared, and the negative memories they have of the breakup will begin to fade.
It’s up to you to inspire your ex. Giving a man space to miss you will work if simultaneously you show him through your actions that you are building a new future for yourself that he would be a fool to not want to be a part of. Focus on having fun, making yourself happy, being healthy, and trying new things, and you’ll see a shift in your ex’s behavior.
As always, I know these situations are challenging and tough. We are here to help you every step of the way and you can get in touch with us either by leaving your questions in the comments section below, or by reaching out to me or one of my team members by clicking here!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re wondering if silence makes a man miss you