When you got married a few years ago, you were madly in love. You were both ready to move mountains for one another, you had so many plans for your future, and you had maybe already built a family. Unfortunately things didn’t go according to plan.
Things got worse over time…Some couples were aware of the fact that it wasn’t working, but for others it came as a surprise when their partner decided to separate and they begin to miss their significant other immediately. They weren’t happy together anymore and separation seemed like the only solution, even if it is an extremely hard decision to make.
It’s important to be able to understand the gravity of the situation because it’s not just a fight or a break; it’s a full-fledged separation. On top of that, if you take things too lightly you can make your ex feel even more upset.
This is a sign that you need to act now. You’re facing having to appear before a judge, fighting over custody, getting a lawyer, who keeps what… being single means that you have to change all kinds of things in your life and this isn’t pleasant for anyone, even if you remain on good terms with your ex.
Nevertheless, for you, this isn’t the end of your love story and you want nothing more than to be together again. The moment your ex asked your for a divorce, you are confronted with dealing with a divorce you don’t want ; you realize what you may have done wrong and you know what solutions you could have provided. So, is it too late?
If you’ve gotten to this point does it mean that you have no chance of being with the person you love again? You’ll find out my answers to these questions in this article.
Dealing with a divorce you don’t want is difficult so is it too late to make things right?
When a person finds themselves alone and no longer officially married, it changes their entire life. Even if you were on bad terms for a long time and the divorce took a long time, you no longer live together, or you’ve gotten back together since you signed the divorce, you’re still officially separated.
For some people this is a godsend but for others, the separation is torture.
I’ve been fighting to keep people happily together for a while and I’m always surprised when I see how the number of divorces constantly increasing. The numbers have been impressive in the last 25 years. I am not judging you; I understand that sometimes in a relationship it feels like nothing is working anymore and that divorce is the only way out. After all, everyone just wants to be happy.
But I have to say, the amount of divorces that take place in today’s day and age run a chill up my spine. However, it is never too late to change the course of action. You should know that many of my readers contact me for help when their ex has already begun filling out the divorce papers, or to figure how to get over a breakup and many of them succeed in getting back together when it seemed like all hope was lost!
Thanks to my experience I’ve been able to note that divorce or a request for divorce don’t mean that it’s the end. You can always get back together, and the process can even be sped up if you quickly realize what you’ll lose if you don’t become proactive!
When dealing with a divorce you don’t want, you shouldn’t waste any time and think that your ex is going to jump back into your arms because they regret their decision. The ball is in your court and you have to show them that you can correspond to their needs.
Many men and women will tell you to move on and to start something new, and that this means that your fairytale has come to an end. But if this isn’t what you want then you shouldn’t give up. You should use this post-separation electroshock as a tool for determining what actions you need to do to make your ex change their mind.
You have to follow the steps; analysis, comprehension, actions, and finalization. This is the only way that you can change your ex’s mind.
How can you change your partner’s mind when they want a divorce?
Dealing with a divorce you don’t want forces you to confront your ex partner’s unhappiness…and it shouldn’t take you months. You’re going to have to take action and make it count if you’ve already tried different things. Given the circumstances, I highly recommend a personalized coaching session so that we can design a strategy together.
At this stage, advice from an experienced professional is indispensable for an analysis of your situation, and to learn more, click here.
Start being proactive so that you can rebuild your relationship and stop distance from growing between you. I am also talking to the people that have already gone through the grueling process of divorce, especially if this was done with a heavy heart. You can still rekindle the flame with you ex-spouse!
In fact, I once helped a man get back together with his wife two years after they had divorced. It was a long and complicated process, but they ended up back together and that’s what’s most important.
If after all these moments filled with doubt and uncertainty you haven’t done so yet, it’s time to look inside yourself and to think about the mistakes you may have made, the problems that could have existed in your relationship, and the possible solutions to these issues so that you can show your ex that this separation doesn’t mean that it all has to end.
If you want to share your thoughts and emotions, there is a technique that I’m positive you know about if you’ve been reading the articles on my site: the handwritten letter. I know that you’re thinking… “Sure, I’ve already sent dozens of letters and messages and nothing has changed.”
You haven’t said the right things yet, you haven’t talked about the proper emotions yet. I often use an example of a car to illustrate my point. If you’ve released the emergency break, and you start stepping on the accelerator without having turned the key in the ignition, well you’ve skipped the very first step and the car won’t do anything.
Never forget that you always have to take things step by step and make sure that you see each step all the way through.
Even after a long and painful separation or when dealing with a divorce you don’t want, your feelings can remain just as strong an that’s exactly why you’re on this site right now. Don’t dwell on the past and focus on your regrets; concentrate on moving forward.
By writing this letter that I’m recommending one that I have outlined at great length in our eBook that you can find here, you can tell your ex everything that you felt during the separation or the divorce, give them an analysis of the relationship, talk about the impact that it has had on both of your lives as well as those of your children, your future, and your projects.
The goal isn’t to try to make your ex cry but rather to sincerely talk about how you feel in terms of your relationship and what has brought you to be in your current position. Your ex spouse wasn’t satisfied in your relationship either; nobody gets married with the idea that they’ll divorce in a few years.
They’ve suffered just as much as you have, even if you don’t see it. They will be touched by your letter.
This letter shouldn’t be too forceful or make you look emotionally dependent, and it shouldn’t be all about your heartache. Putting pen on paper is an amazing way to clearly write down and communicate what you feel and the solutions you propose, without sounding aggressive.
If you keep a healthy amount of distance, your ex can read this letter on their own and reflect on it without feeling any pressure.
The adviser that guides your when dealing with a divorce you don’t want,