Depression is something no one wants to deal with. Whether it’s clinical depression that you’ve been struggling with your entire life, or depression brought on by a sequence of events in your life, it can truly turn things upside down. It is sometimes enough to make a person bow out of a relationship because they know that they can’t be a good partner to the person they love. This leaves the other person hurt and confused, and they don’t know what to do.
If you’re reading this article, chances are that you are experiencing this type of situation. You and this person have broken up and you know that he or she is struggling with depression. When you find yourself alone after a breakup, your heart feels like it’s been broken into a million pieces. What’s worse, it feels like you lost your relationship because of outside circumstances and you’re not sure if there’s anything you can even do. Now you’re left wondering, “Do depressed partners come back or have I lost mine forever?”
In today’s article, we are going to go over what’s going on in your ex’s mind right now, and how you can increase the odds of him or her coming back to you. I don’t want you to think that this is a lost cause, but I want you to know that you shouldn’t just sit around waiting for things to change if you want this person back in your arms!
Depression and love: What’s going on?
Interestingly enough, there is one phenomenon that I see more in men than I do in women. When depression begins to surge up, I notice that more men put an end to their relationships than women do.
Whether your ex is a man or a woman, there is a big chance that they put an end to your relationship because their self esteem is very low right now. When a person is not feeling great about themselves, they can quickly begin to feel that they are unworthy of a person’s love. Deep down, they might even think that you could be so much happier with someone else.
Breaking up with someone as a result of depression is a hard thing to do, because the love is still there. It’s just that the feelings of inadequacy or heaviness are bigger. A person might feel like they’re weighing their partner down and that their partner deserves better. It can also be that a person feels like they need to tackle this on their own. They might feel so bad that they don’t even want to be with anyone.
This is also why you might have a depressed ex partner who wants to be alone. A lot of people hate feeling like they’re being pitied, even if you have good intentions and just want to help.
It helps to understand what’s going on on a deeper level when you are experiencing this with your ex. When life delivers blows, like the loss of a friend or family member, getting fired from a job, feeling like you can’t get out of a rut, health issues, financial trouble, or all kinds of other things, the stress levels in your brain will increase.
The higher the stress levels, the harder it is for your brain to create serotonin and dopamine, which are two chemicals that are responsible for making a person feel happy. What’s more, stress creates a higher level of cortisol which makes it difficult for your body to properly absorb protein and minerals from the food you’re eating.
Simply put, it becomes a negative cycle. The longer this period lasts, the more likely it is for a person to let go of things that were once very important to them – i.e. relationships.
When a person is absolutely miserable, they cannot maintain a healthy, balanced relationship. They’re thinning “I am feeling so awful right now that I don’t even want to be around anyone – let alone myself.” This is when a depressed partner leaves.
How to tell if a depressed person really loves you
I wanted to dedicate a section of this article to making sure that you’re not internalizing your partner’s depression. As I said, when you love someone, it is not uncommon to want to do everything in your power to make them feel better. This is often when you begin to coddle someone, and they often don’t respond well to it.
Without realizing, you could end up making someone feel even worse. When their self esteem is suffering, they need to be able to feel that they can take care of things on their own.
But there’s another thing that often happens. Sometimes when you separate or divorce because of depression, you end up having thoughts like, “Was I not good enough,” “What did I do wrong,” Was I a fool to believe that my ex loves me?”… Your emotions have been turned upside down, so you start doubting the past.
Don’t allow yourself to do this. Don’t make up stories or negate the love you two shared because your partner is dealing with something external. Sometimes it really is as simple as the fact that right now, given the current circumstances, your ex is just not capable of being in a relationship. Though they know that leaving a depressed spouse is going to be tough for you, they don’t want to weigh you down when you could be so much happier without them.
So, that being said, do depressed partners return?
Do depressed partners come back when they’re feeling better?
As a general rule, if a person has been able to get through whatever the root of their depression is and they still have feelings for you, they will most likely return. There are of course all kinds of criteria at play, for example:
• How much time has passed since the breakup
• Whether or not one of you has moved on
• Was the source of depression an isolated incident or a recurring element in their life?
• Were there other issues in the relationship that played a part in the breakup?
This last point is of upmost importance because love is not enough to protect a relationship from the challenges that life throws at us sometimes. If there were underlying issues in the relationship, it’s crucial that both of you make the effort to tackle these issues so that you can start fresh.
All relationships experience challenges, but if your partner returns and you two decide to restore your relationship, you’re going to have to learn to work together to face challenges together.
Depressed partners regret leaving very often, yes, but it should not be a pattern. Your partner must understand that they cannot resort to breaking up every time they’re feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges.
A relationship is made of two people that are ready and willing to be a team. Challenges are a part of life, and if a person prefers to be a lone wolf whenever they are unhappy, problems will arise.
I am not telling you this to scare you! I just want you to be aware of all aspects of this type of situation.
On a more positive note, I also want to bring your attention to the fact that sometimes a breakup like this can make your relationship stronger than ever before. Sometimes a person really needs to have some time to themselves in order to figure things out, bounce back from hardship, find themselves, and have what they need in order to set out on a new path and subsequently be able to embark on a new, solid relationship with the person they love!
In any case, it’s important that you give your ex space during this period. Trying to force him or her to be with you isn’t going to get you anywhere. In fact, it’s only going to push your ex further away.
Right now, I know you’re wondering things like, “Do feelings from back after depression” and “Is my ex ever going to come back,” but the best thing you can do right now is to take care of yourself. If you’d like to learn more about what you can do to improve your life will re attracting your ex, click here!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re want to know if depressed partners come back
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
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