My ex is being influenced by his friends, please help!

ex is influenced by his friendsWhen you want your ex back, sometimes they aren’t as responsive as you would hope. The person you had shared your life with for months or for years now refuses to give you the time of day and doesn’t want to give you another chance. You feel like a stranger, but this doesn’t deter you from wanting to get back together, and it might even make you want to be together even more. Everyone has tendency to want what they can’t have. We like challenges and you’re faced with a pretty big one.

You might think that after a breakup tensions would subside and that you’d be able to reestablish communication and that getting back together would be possible. After all, you’ve taken a step back and you’ve put things into perspective and you’re able to communicate without feeling any pressure. But communication is what is causing an issue and you’re starting to wonder, “Is my ex being influenced by his friends?” You feel that you’ve made the necessary changes and that you’ve found the solutions to the problems you had been having, but your ex isn’t being receptive. They’re not open to letting you show them how you’ve improved, and you can’t communicate the fact that they were wrong and that you’re no longer the person that they had broken up with.

So what do you do and how do you make your ex understand that they’re being manipulated? How can you reestablish affinity between you if you feel like there’s a wall between you? What’s blocking you from moving forward and being able to rebuild a relationship together? You feel very frustrated in this type of situation, and sometimes you even want to give up just so that you can stop suffering. This is exactly why I am going to share my guidelines with you.

Why is my ex reluctant to come back?

When you feel like you’ve made a ton of efforts and improvements you’re of course going to feel very disappointed and you’ll ask yourself a lot of questions that can hold you back from moving forward. You’ve taken responsibility for your mistakes and you’ve adopted a positive attitude since the breakup but there unfortunately is still something that’s not working. This is the moment you begin to wonder, “Is my ex being influenced by his friends or by a new partner?”
Not only does the person you love have no intention of giving you a second chance, they don’t want to see the efforts that you’ve made in order to rebuild a solid relationship. After having coached hundreds of people in this type of situation, I can assure you that there is a reason behind their behavior. They didn’t just wake up one morning and think, “I’m just going to forget about the person I’ve been with for months.”

There can be logical reasons behind their desire or need to not be in contact with you. Maybe they just don’t want to be in your life as a partner anymore. After betrayal, infidelity, violence, it’s normal that your ex and their loved ones would cut ties and see you in a negative light. When your ex doesn’t want to be with you anymore, putting pressure on them isn’t going to make things any better…

In truth, even if your ex is being influenced by his friends, he might be reluctant to get close to you again because you haven’t adopted the proper attitude.

My ex is being influenced by his friends but am I in the wrong?

Under these circumstances, it’s important to take a step back and put things into perspective. Unfortunately, sometimes we are guided by emotion and therefore aren’t able to act in the proper fashion and ask ourselves the right questions. If your ex isn’t coming back it’s not always because of something you may have done in the past. The actions you’re setting into motion now might be the problematic ones.

Wanting to get back together isn’t a just a question of will. Wanting your ex back isn’t going to be enough but you already know this. You’re just having a tough time accepting it or maybe you think that your actions are enough to get you a second chance.

Nevertheless, if you base your attempt at getting back together solely on your emotions (sweet words, promises, extravagant gifts…etc) you’re not doing it the right way. If you don’t make this right, your ex isn’t going to feel the desire to get close to you again.

This is why you shouldn’t base your strategy on techniques that will show your ex that you love them but rather on methods that ensure that you stop making the mistakes of the past and that help you to propose adequate solutions to the initial problem. Unfortunately people tend to go overboard and end up becoming emotionally dependent by putting their ex in control of the situation.

Tips for appealing to your ex despite manipulation

In order to talk some sense into your ex (even if you’re thinking my ex is being influenced by his friends,) and to get a second chance you have to focus on the changes that need to be made in your personal life as well as in your relationship. This is why it’s important to take a step back and review the situation. You’ll be able to see more clearly once you’ve done this. Don’t think that insisting is going to improve the situation because it can easily make tensions rise when your ex’s family is manipulating them.

Go ahead and take a sheet of paper and write down what wasn’t working and what was causing problems in your relationship within the last few weeks. Write down everything your ex could have resented in you and everything that you resented in your ex. The next step is to design a solution that you can show to your ex via an attention-grabbing action. Make sure you take it one step at a time, without rushing anything. Analyze your relationship, then do the necessary actions and wait for the results. You can’t base your attempt at getting back together on promises; you need concrete actions that will make your ex change their mind and to surmount their friends’ influence.

Best wishes,

Your coach for talking sense into your ex despite outside influence,

Adrian