Your radio silence or the distance you had put between you and your ex can’t go on forever. Sooner or later you’ll have to reestablish good communication. When you want an ex back, you can’t base everything on distance. Your goal is to rebuild a solid couple and this is why this exchange is so important.
Nevertheless, if you’ve read a good number of articles on this site, principally on the Radio Silence technique, you’ve realized that putting some distance between you and your ex is a good thing. So you shouldn’t panic if you haven’t sent any messages for a week or two.
You’re now in a new phase of your attempt at getting back together; one that’s more “direct,” because up until now, your actions were focused on your own improvement and reconstruction (well, if you’ve followed my guidelines!) Next up is the seduction phase and you have to approach the person you love. You had been very frustrated while you weren’t in contact, and now you shouldn’t remain in silence but rather take advantage of the time you took for yourself. Keep reading to find out the best way to approach getting back in touch with an ex.
Getting back in touch with an ex: when is the right time?
2 weeks, a month, 3 months or more… Many of you are wondering when exactly you should end radio silence or to send a message after not having been in contact for a while. It’s true that a return after a breakup is a big deal so it’s normal that you would be asking yourself a ton of questions right now. You don’t want to do anything wrong, you want your comeback to be made in the best way possible and you’re right to think hard about figuring out how to increase your chances of success.
One of the most common questions I hear in my coaching sessions or in comments on my articles is, “When should I start talking to my ex again?” In most cases, you’ve employed radio silence and you’re wondering how exactly you should end it. You know that you have to adapt your techniques based on your situation. In some cases 3 weeks is enough whereas in other cases, when there have been some major changes, 4 to 8 weeks of no contact would be better.
The length of time isn’t the only important thing; you also have to focus on analyzing the breakup, the improvements to be made once you’re ready, thinking about solutions, and making sure you don’t become depressed. Once you’ve done all this, you’ll know that it’s time to make your comeback. YOU decide what moment is best because it will depend on your personal reconstruction and your personal changes. The golden rule is to never rush things and to want things to happen fast. If you need an entire month we will take an entire month, and if you need more then we will take even more! It’s better to take as much time as you need than to lose lots of weeks to fixing mistakes that were made because you were rushing things.
How to start talking to your ex again
Wanting to get back in touch with your ex is a good idea if you have done what I just explained, but you have to make sure you do it in the best way possible. If after 5 weeks of zero contact you send a message like, “Hey what’s up?” you’ll risk getting no reply at all or something very short. You’ll have to make an impact, use striking words, and to not come back as if nothing had happened. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for failure.
If you want the distance you put between you to bear fruit, you have to reestablish contact with your ex in the best way possible. I’ve perfected a technique that has been helping hundreds of men and women for years now to start their love story over. I’m of course talking about the handwritten letter designed to get your ex back. In today’s day and age, people don’t expect to receive a letter like this and this is exactly why this technique works so well!
After radio silence, this is the ideal way to get back in contact with your ex or at least to make them want to talk to you again. Even if they don’t reply to your letter, you can follow up with a text message. With such a radical method you will have a good chance of rekindling the flame.
In any case, even if you haven’t used radio silence, this letter might not be the best solution for your situation. Under these circumstances, don’t hesitate to contact your ex directly on the phone. In order to use the right words and to avoid making mistakes in the text message you write, it would be beneficial for you to read this article that I’ve written on how to get your ex back via text message. It contains dozens of examples of messages that you could send, and it will really give your attempt at getting back together a boost.
I’ve reestablished communication after the breakup: What do I do now?
Getting back in touch with an ex is obviously something excellent, I don’t want to tell you the opposite. There are so many men and women have no idea how to have a normal conversation with their ex before getting in touch with me. Nevertheless, if you follow my philosophy you know how important it is to not just lay back and think that one conversation is enough to end the process of getting back together and that you’re surely going to be together again. This is very common, but you’re reading this article so you’re not going to make this mistake!
You’ve surely made promises, and have told your ex that you’ve changed (either in your letter or in person.) It’s imperative that you make sure these changes are real before you tell your ex about them or you risk them thinking you weren’t telling the truth or that you’ve only changed on the surface. On top of dialogue, which is of course essential, you also have to take action. Your ex wants concrete changes and not just words. Your actions will make all the difference in this stage.
Your main goal isn’t to have the possibility to speak again; it’s to have to possibility to show how you’ve changed, to reestablish affinity so that you can make things improve and create a solid relationship. You’re ex-partner appreciated what you said, and now you have to make sure it’s a reality and sincere.
Your coach for getting back in touch with an ex.