Following a breakup, there is often a kind of power struggle that settles in between the two partners. The person who made the decision to leave is usually the one holding the cards; while the other has trouble being heard and doesn’t feel like they have a say. By fear of losing the love of their life forever, the risk becomes allowing yourself to be compliant in the hopes that you’ll eventually have a chance to speak up. I of course understand this attitude because you want to avoid conflicts with your ex; but this kind of situation can’t last very long because it’s not a path that’s going to lead you to find happiness in love.
Sometimes you have to step in and show that you’re more zealous than you were before; In your love life in general but especially when looking to get back together with an ex. Figuring out the answer to the question how to challenge my ex could be the ideal start; particularly for people that need to show that they will no longer be walked all over, and to show that you are capable of changing. The fact that your ex decided to break up doesn’t mean that they’re in charge after the separation. Be self-assured in order to stop hurting after a breakup and so you can get through this difficult period quickly.
I figured out how to challenge my ex by showing character!
Way too many people act like doormats after a breakup. The heartache they feel after this event restrains their reactions, and their ex-partner takes advantage because they know they’re in the position of power. A situation like this could reveal a state of emotional dependence. You’re ready to suffer just because you don’t want to challenge your ex because of the fear of losing them forever.
But you need to take action! On one hand because you want to eventually get back together, and on the other hand because it’s important for your pride and self-confidence. No one should be allowed to prevent you from being happy; no one has that right. Contradicting your ex is a good method for making them understand that the way they’re treating you is unacceptable.
If your goal is to get back together, it’s even more important that you put an end to this power struggle that has you at a disadvantage. Why? Simply because your ex doesn’t want someone “weak” who can’t stand up for themself. Even if you get back together, your ex will be the one to continue this game in your relationship and you’re always going to have the fear of being left again in the back of your mind.
Improving your self-confidence
If there’s one thing you absolutely need after a breakup it’s self-confidence. I’d even say that it’s imperative that you believe in yourself in all aspects of your life. When you’re trying to restart a relationship with your ex, you’re going to have to feel strong so you can accept your decisions and overcome difficulties.
The separation has most likely left its mark. You’re most likely not the same anymore because this is a hard thing to get through. If you don’t take action fast, it is very likely that you’ll fall into the trap of depression in love.
Challenging your ex means that you have confidence in yourself and in every one of your actions. In order to do so every morning tell yourself “I will get him/her back!” Getting back together with your ex and getting things back on track isn’t going to happen overnight. You’re going to have to overcome certain obstacles and this is where self-confidence is key.
Challenging your ex: It isn’t without risk
Standing up to your ex is therefore a way to ensure that you’re no longer going to be beaten down by the breakup, and to help you rebuild your self-esteem. It’s especially a great way to command respect from your ex. This solution may seem infallible, but just like many others, it still has some risks.
If your ex is headstrong and isn’t used to people standing up to them, your reaction might (at first) rub them the wrong way and result in them refusing to budge. Human beings don’t appreciate critiques and they especially don’t like to admit they were wrong! Sometimes you have to give your ex some time so that they can realize that their behavior towards your was inappropriate and that you deserve better.
That said, it’s better to take the risk of making your ex mad than to be submissive and never stand up for yourself. As I’ve been saying, find that inner strength to stand your ground!
There can be another valid reason behind why you are looking to find the best answers to the question of how to challenge my ex; and it could possibly lead to more problems between you. Maybe you’re the one in the wrong and the issues are stemming from you. If your ex’s attitude towards you is negative and unfair, maybe it’s because you’re at a fault. Your ex may be adopting your attitude in order to open your eyes to the fact that it’s not appropriate.
On top of that, a breakup can lead to a fair amount of bitterness. Maybe you could be overreacting a bit when it comes to your ex’s behavior because you’re so mad. Please note that I’m not trying to justify their actions or to bring you down. I’m just trying to give you as many examples as possible to help you understand their behavior and to decide which actions would be the most effective in your situation.
This is a technique to be used with caution, especially if you want to get back together or stay on good terms with your ex.
Your coach to figure out how to challenge an ex
Sincerely,
Adrian
