You’ve broken up with someone that you thought was The One. You had envisioned your future together, you had made so many precious memories together, and now all of that has been thrown out the window because you’re relationship has ended. So what are you supposed to do now? Are you just supposed to carry on as though nothing happened? How is it so easy for some people to do that?
What if you’re thinking, “I don’t want to move on…” Do you still have to? So many people come to me with these types of questions, so I’ve decided to write this article today to help you figure out what you next move should be, and how to tell if it’s really time to move on or if there is still hope. As an expert in getting people back together, I’ve spent years and years studying these types of situations so by the end of this article you will have a much better idea of what needs to happen next in order for you to be happy!
There is one specific thing to pay attention to that will tell you whether or not it’s time to give up on this relationship with your ex, and I will explain it to you here. As always, if you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below or get in touch with me or a member of my team directly right here!
I don’t want to move on from my relationship with my ex: Why?
When you spend an extended period of time with someone, you develop habits and a form of routine. You share so much with them, and you begin to picture your future together. You invest your time and energy into this relationship and it becomes an intrinsic part of your life.
When the relationship comes to an end, it can feel like everything is crumbling down around you. You’re left with a big void, and it can sometimes feel impossible to get out of this sadness and envision a happy future without this person. I remember I was talking to one of my clients recently, and she told me that the first time she went through a breakup, it felt like being taken off life support.
It’s a shock to the mind and body and it can feel like you’re gasping for air. Many people will then panic and start trying everything in their power to get closer to their ex again. This is where people run into issues and obstacles that actually get them further away from their goals.
My job is to help people reach their goals while steering clear of mistakes. I have worked with thousands of people in getting their exes back, so I know how challenging it can be. Trust me, it is no walk in the park to get an ex back. It just doesn’t just happen overnight with the flick of a magic wand.
It takes time, patience, perseverance, self control, and a valiant effort. It’s not unusual for people to start to get tired and wonder if they’re ever going to reach their goals or not. This is when they ask me, “Should I give up?”
Now, in the majority of cases for people who want their exes back, there is always a different approach to try. Perhaps one method wasn’t working, but that does not mean that another method wouldn’t work either. Each person and each situation is entirely unique.
So is there a specific way to know that it’s definitely time to turn the page and begin a new chapter without your ex?
When it’s time to move on…
There is one specific indicator that will tell you right away if it’s time to move on or not.
The word to keep in mind is “Patterns.”
Let’s say that you’ve been working hard to undo negative patterns of your past. You’ve analyzed the situation, you’ve determined what you could have done differently and you’ve been working on right wrongs, you’ve made concrete improvements in your personal life, you’ve worked on your shortcomings, you’ve devoted your time and energy to your personal and professional projects, you’ve used the most powerful tools available to you for getting an ex back like the No Contact Rule, the Chase me and I’ll run technique, and the handwritten letter and you are STILL unable to get through to your ex… It is probably time to move on.
My job is to get people back together, but I am not going to advocate getting into a situation that will deplete your well-being. It is crucial that you keep your eyes open and focus on being honest with yourself.
If you know that you have broken negative patterns and have created new, positive ones, but your ex is unwilling or unable to do the same, you have to give yourself permission to move on.
Sometimes an ex will be self sabotaging and will not allow themselves to be happy, so it’s important for you to be able to recognize this and be able to move on if you need to. This should be seen as a new chapter for you. The lessons you’ve learned and the personal development you’ve done after this breakup will help you to build something better in the future with someone else.
So if it’s time to move on, how does one do it?
How to move on when you don’t want to
When people come to me saying, “I don’t want to move on but I think I have to,” I give them one specific mission: Making themselves happy.
So starting now, I’d like you to start giving yourself new goals and challenges that help you to keep your sights set on the future. It’s easy to dwell on the past, but that’s not going to make you happy right now and our goal is to get you feeling better as soon as possible. Once you’re feeling better, you’ll see that you’ll attract others like moths to a flame and you’ll be feeling better than ever before!
The first thing I would like you to do is to grab a sheet of paper and start making a comprehensive list of things that make you happy. Think about your friends and family, think about passions, places you like to go, music you like to listen to, scenes in movies that make you feel warm and fuzzy… anything that makes you feel good.
Next, write a list of goals you’d like to set for your future – whether it’s physical fitness, travels, getting ahead act work, remodeling the living room, anything! These should be weekly goals, but also daily goals.
Then I want you to start brainstorming ways to make these goals a reality, and think about how exactly you can incorporate these things into the lives of OTHERS as well.
In making other people happy, something very interesting begins to happen. Not only do they feel fantastic, so do you. You will be reminded of how important you are to people, and how much of a positive effect you can have on the lives of others. When you go through a breakup, it’s easy to experience a sort of tunnel vision and fixate on the loss of your relationship and the hit your ego took as a result.
When you take all that energy and turn it into something positive, you’ll begin to feel more and more in control, and you will start feeling better and better. Work to actively dedicate time and energy to your short term and long terms goals, and make the effort to make other people happy in the process.
Just don’t choose your ex when you’re looking for someone you want to make happy, or it might come across as needy or clingy behavior.
As I mentioned above, if you could use a hand with figuring out your next move, whether it’s choosing the perfect tool to get your ex back, or moving on from the relationship with your ex, we are here to help you.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you don’t want to move on,
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!