Your relationship doesn’t only concern you and your ex. When you share your life with someone, you become part of each other’s families. You have a group of friends and you’re not always alone together. You maybe even have kids together if you’ve been together for a while.
Life as a couple doesn’t only involve you two! Unless you’re two hermits you see people that consciously or unconsciously play a role in your love life.
So when you’re going through a crisis in your relationship or even worse, a breakup, you’re never alone. There are often your friends and family that are there to help you avoid making mistakes concerning your ex, and they always have their two cents.
It’s true that family can be a real support system when you’re going through something so painful, but not in terms of everything. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone or become withdrawn.
It makes perfect sense to ask yourself if your loved ones should have so much influence over your decisions, or if their advise should change your choices. Even if this isn’t the case for you, it’s important to note how common this really is.
So, despite how much your loved ones care for you and how deeply you want to be happy with the person you love, their advice isn’t always the most appropriate. They can sometimes stop you from trying to get back together if they feel that your ex wasn’t right for you.
Listening to friends and family after a breakup; in other words going to your loved ones in order to figure out how to get your ex back is a situation in which many people find themselves, and it’s not easy to handle.
This is why I wanted to write an article on the subject so that I can help you if your friends and family are interfering in your love life and in your attempt to get back together with your significant other.
Listening to friends and family after a breakup is tricky!
For some people, trying to get their ex back is unthinkable. Sometimes their pride won’t let them and makes them think that trying to get back together means that they’d have to beg to be taken back. They think that instead of just organizing meeting up that they have to get on hands and knees and plead. You know that this isn’t want I recommend and that this type of thinking is incorrect.
We can’t help but ask, have these people ever known true love? The kind of love that makes you do things you never thought you would… In most cases, yes, they have but these people are forgetting one detail. They’re not involved in what you’re feeling and therefore can’t know the depth of the heartache that you’re feeling. When you lose someone important you’re ready to move mountains to get them back and when you’re not directly involved, it’s an easy detail to overlook.
Wanting your ex back despite the advice of those around you is a question of feelings; of love. But that’s not the only thing… Sometimes the reasons behind why someone wants to get back together are less ‘romantic.’
You can want someone back simply because you don’t want to be alone and under these circumstances it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to listen to your friends and family. Rest assured, you’re not the only person to have ever found themselves in this situation but it’s something that could lead you to be even more hurt in the future.
Next up, one of the other most common reasons is pride. To summarize, when someone leaves you, your heart takes a hit but so does your ego. After years or even just months of being together, your partner leaves you and you can’t take it. You don’t want to look weak in front of everyone else.
Subsequently you make the decision to try and get back together. Of course this could be subconscious; you don’t wake up the morning after the breakup thinking, “My pride is making me want my ex back!” In fact your loved ones are often the ones to introduce this idea, and I can’t stress the enough the importance of being honest and clear with yourself before you start trying anything.
You have to ask yourself what you truly want, and ideally you should analyze the situation without advice from your friends and family. Do it alone so that you’re not influenced by your loved ones.
Outside influence and advice in your attempt at getting back together
As I was explaining, brothers and sisters, cousins, and even your friends can be a real solution for fighting heartache and avoiding becoming depressed after a breakup. Nevertheless, asking them for advice on how to get back with your ex is something I really don’t recommend.
Quite simply because they don’t have proper perspective on the situation and therefore can’t be objective. On top of that, it’s very common for the people that care about you want to get you away from your ex. They don’t like your ex-partner and so they tell you to forget about them and move on, to not try to get back together, and to turn the page.
Unfortunately this isn’t what you want to hear; you’re still in love and so you want to be together again. Your friend’s suggestions aren’t always unbiased, and moreover you need adequate, well thought out guidance so that you don’t make mistakes and can rekindle the flame once and for all.
You have to learn to make your own decisions; listening to friends and family after a breakup can give you some perspective but it’s your life, your love life, your feelings and no one else’s. You might think it sounds selfish, but you’re human and there’s nothing wrong with thinking about your own well being, especially when you’re going through a tough time.
Do you want to get back together because of pride or love?
You might be wondering what the connection is between pride and the advice of others. The answer is that when you want to get your ex back simply because your ego is bruised, it’s to look good in the eyes of those around you. Sometimes pride is actually stronger than love!
Prideful people, who are borderline pretentious, have the tendency to live their lives based on what others think. Their goal is to be at their best at all times. I’m not judging anyone; everyone has the right to be motivated by their ego when they want their ex back.
I’d even go as far as to say that it can help boost your self confidence, which is important for your endeavor, but it’s essential to never go overboard with it.
When you start designing your moves for your attempt at getting back together, you should keep it to yourself. The person you want back might take it badly. I keep insisting on the fact that it’s not a good idea to listen to the advice of others when you want your ex back because these people play an important role in the life of a couple and sometimes make you do things that you wouldn’t expecting.
Your coach for getting your ex back,