If you’re familiar with my work, then you know that I am an expert in love and relationships and my speciality is getting people back together. Many people come to me for help in making their exes want them again, but I also work with people who need help restoring a relationship with an ex that has come back. This means that sometimes people reach out to me saying, “My ex wants to get back together but I’m not sure about what to do. Can you help?”
I won’t lie, the process of getting back together is no easy feat. The easiest part is actually getting back together… The hard part is ensuring that you have a solid foundation that will make your relationship withstand the test of time.
That is why I’ve decided to write this article for you today. When it comes to getting back together with an ex, there are some difficult questions that you need to ask yourself. I’ll go over those with you, but I’ll also outline what needs to happen if you want to have a new relationship with your ex that won’t end up like the last one did!
My ex wants me back: Why?
If you’ve been making a valiant effort to make your ex want you back, then this should probably come as no surprise to you. You’re happy about it, but not that surprised!
However, if you haven’t been trying to get him or her back, you might be thinking, “Wait, how come my ex wants me back?” (https://www.withmyexagain.com/blog/my-ex-wants-me-back/)
Well, most people will experience some doubts following a breakup. This could be related to their decision to end the relationship, or it could even be related to their ability to be alone. Each person is entirely unique, so the way that they handle breakups will also vary.
If your ex has picked up on the fact that you’ve begun living your best life, it should come as no surprise that your ex wants to get back together! After all, that’s the entire basis for getting an ex back. You want him or her to realize that their life would actually be considerably more fulfilling if you were in it.
You may have successfully reminded your ex of the person they fell in love with in the first place, and have convinced them that you are a new and improved version of that person! If this is the case, you’re in luck. As I was saying, this is a crucial element of reestablishing a stable and healthy relationship with your ex. They just need to be doing the same thing with their life… but more on that in a moment.
Perhaps your ex is struggling with emotional dependency and that’s why today you’re thinking “My ex is trying to get back with me.”
Whatever the case may be, it is up to you to ask yourself some important questions to help you gage the situation and determine whether or not you want to give this relationship another shot!
My ex wants me back but I’m not sure about what I want…
It’s a tricky situation. On one hand you know you still feel something for this person, but on the other hand, you two have gone through a breakup and that has left a bad taste in your mouth. You don’t want to go through all of that again and you don’t know if it’s worth the risk.
That’s why I keep saying that you’re going to have to ask yourself some questions and be very honest with yourself. So what are all of these questions?
Let’s begin with some of the biggest ones.
1. Are you considering getting back together with this person because you honestly feel like this could be the love of your life, or because you’re struggling with emotional dependency?
When two people have been together for a long time, it’s not uncommon for them to struggle with being single. Being alone doesn’t come naturally to them anymore and they realize that their relationship was the main focus of their life. Now that the relationship has ended, it feels like there’s a huge void. For many people in this situation, taking their ex back is the quick fix. The important thing to remember here is that a relationship should not be the only thing going on in your life. It can create a sizable unbalance that leads to anxiety, insecurity and various pressures.
So, if you’re thinking about what to do if my ex wants me back, ask yourself if you’re considering taking your ex back simply because you don’t want to be alone.
2. Have you made changes that can ensure a healthy and stable relationship that can withstand the test of time?
Breakups often serve as wakeup calls. They make us realize that there are certain elements in our personalities that might need some improvement, and that our lives could benefit from some changes. If two people are going to get back together, they both need to be able to recognize what changes need to be made, and they both need to make the changes.
When you realize, “My ex wants to get back together,” it’s crucial that you ask yourself if you’ve made the necessary changes. It’s a two way road, so…
3. Do you see concrete changes and improvements in your ex?
One of the easiest ways to answer the questions of should you get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is simply to ask yourself if he or she has actually changed. Something wasn’t working in your previous relationship together, so has your ex done their part in ensuring that things don’t wind up the way they did the last time you broke up?
When an ex wants to come back, you want to be sure that you aren’t stepping into the same exact relationship that you had before.
It’s also important to gage whether or not your ex is honest with themselves about the role they played in the breakup. In the vast majority of cases, both partners are to blame for the breakup. If only one person is making the effort to make things right, it’s not going to work. You have to work together as a team both to restore the relationship and to reinforce it.
4. Do you want to be with this person?
I know that this last one might seem obvious, but I would like you to take a moment to really reflect on this. Did you start warming up to the idea of moving on and did it make you feel good? Does this person’s presence feel like a weight on you in any way? When you really think about it, do you feel that once the pain of the breakup subsides you’d actually be happier without them or with them?
I know that these questions are scary and extremely unpleasant to think about, but we’re talking about your heart and your well-being. We’ve got to be honest about what is going to make you feel happiest in your life.
It’s a delicate topic, but as long as you’re willing to be honest with yourself and work towards your goals, you’re going to make the best decision possible. The fact that you’re online reading up on advice on the topic is already a great sign. The more information you have, the easier the decision will be.
If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best,