I know that right about now all you want is to be back in your ex’s arms. It’s so hard to resist the urge to reach out to him and feel like you’re still close to him. When your heart is broken and you don’t agree with the breakup, it’s so hard to let go. The problem is that when you’re feeling hurt and vulnerable, you want to be close to him, but you end up getting a negative reaction from him. The more present you are, the less present he wants to be. So you’re starting to realize that maybe you should leave him alone to get him back…
But does this work? Isn’t it really risky? Won’t he move on if I take a step back? These are all questions I hear on a regular basis, but as a coach specialized in getting people back together I can assure you that giving your ex space is the best thing to do right now. I’ve written this article for you today in order to help explain why this works, and what you can do to make your ex feel more inclined to get closer to you! You can attract him back, but it’s going to depend on your actions during this period.
Right now, you’re going to want to make your ex miss you. You don’t want him to feel suffocated. The more you force him to talk to you and see you, the less he’s going to want to. At this stage, we’re going to want to shift the power play and turn the tables so that you can get back in control of the situation. I know that you’re feeling powerless and frustrated right now, but you can change all of that if you follow a well thought out action plan…
Give him space and he’ll come back: Why this works
As I began saying, there is a reason you need to step back right now. If you’ve been blowing up his phone, texting, emailing, DM ing and Facebook messengering him all the time, he’s going to be overwhelmed. The breakup is hard on both parties involved, and adding additional pressure on him is not going to help anything. If anything, it’s going to make him want to run for the hills. You’ve got to get in control of your emotions so that you can make a stronger comeback, but I’ll get to that in a moment.
The reason that giving a guy space after a breakup will make him more likely to want you back is actually quite simple. You see, human beings have a bad habit of taking things for granted when they’re readily available to them all the time. If you are constantly at your ex’s beck and call and incessantly trying to talk to him so that you can make him understand that you still love him, a few things are going to happen.
He’s going to pull away because you’re not letting him digest the breakup, and he can end up resenting you.
He can begin to see you in a negative light because you’re being needy and clingy.
He can lash out and block you.
On the other hand, if you do things properly, you will see that you can let him go and he will come back…
Will he come back if I leave him alone?
This is a question that comes up at least a few times each week. If you’ve been too present in your ex’s life and you’re wondering if it’s time to pull back, let me tell you that this is the most powerful action you could take. If you are familiar with our philosophy then you’ve undoubtedly heard of the no contact rule.
This is one of the most powerful techniques we give our clients because it gives the ex in question an electroshock, and he or she realizes what life is like without their ex. As of now, your ex is used to having you around, reassuring him that your feelings for him have not changed, and that you still want to be with him. On top of that, you’ve been calling and messaging him, and you might even feel him retreating. Before it gets to the point where you’re thinking, “My ex is ignoring me,” let’s get you back in control of the situation.
By using a tool like the NC rule, you’re taking back power over the situation. What’s more, you will now be able to switch your focus to yourself, so that you can make changes in your own life that will make you so much happier, and more attractive to your ex. The goal here is to inspire him to want to get closer to you; not to beg him to do so.
To answer the question, “If I let him go will he come back,” I want you to remember that if you can leave him alone and focus whole-heartedly on making improvements in your own life, you will catch his eye and begin to attract him back.
I know that you’re probably wondering, “Will he miss me enough to come back,” but that too is in your control. That is why it is so important to use this time wisely. Don’t just sit around, isolated, feeling sorry for yourself. That’s not going to get you anywhere!
Get up, go out, and start filling up your schedule with things that make you happy. For more in-depth information on how to not break the no contact period, click here!
Why he will come back if you leave him alone
When your ex is used to a certain level of attention, he will take it for granted. When it has become the norm, and he feels like you’ll always want him, you’ll always need him, and you’ll never stop trying to get him back, he’s going to develop the types of feelings that we don’t want.
In addition to taking you for granted, he’s not going to look at you like an exciting challenge, he’s not going to think that his life would be better with you in it, and he’s not going to go out of his way to make any changes. He can just sit back and know that you aren’t going anywhere.
But, when you go from the needy and clingy behavior he was seeing from you to the exact opposite, you’re going to grab his attention like never before.
If you can take this time and truly dedicate it to becoming the best version of yourself, you’re going to make your ex look at you and think, “Wow, there’s the girl I fell in love with, but she’s better than ever.”
And this is what will make you irresistible. Not begging and pleading with him, or constantly going out of your way to make him talk to you.
Perhaps it’ll be curiosity, perhaps it’ll be his ego, or maybe even possessiveness and jealousy, but he will come back around and start trying to get in touch with you. It could also simply be because he realizes what he’s lost.
As each situation is unique, I’m sure you have some questions on your mind. Don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below, or get in touch with us directly here. Together we can develop an action plan that will help you to get in control of your emotions, start changing your habits so that you can make your ex start to want to get closer to you instead of want to get farther from you.
You can get in control of this situation. All you have to do is leave him alone to get him back. Just use this time to become the 2.0 version of yourself and you will see that things will begin to change!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your arch when you are wondering “If I give him space will he come back”