When an ex tells you that the love is gone and that they no longer have feeling for you, it can feel like a huge blow, especially when you’ve been hoping to get back together. But don’t let it discourage you. This is one of the most common issues that clients come to me with, and I am here to tell you that you can turn this thing around. There are plenty of things that you can start doing now so that you can start to reignite your ex’s love for you. There are also plenty of “don’ts,” and you’ve come to the right place because you’re about to learn all about what to do starting today!
What to do when the love is gone but you still want to be with your ex
The very first thing I want to you to do when you’ve been faced with this type of situation is to take stock of the current reality. It is only in being honest with yourself about the current state of things that you are going to be able to approach this in the best possible way. When the love is gone, you’ve got to analyze the relationship and determine an action plan that’s going to revive it…
Accepting the fact that the love is gone right now
As painful as it is to wrap your head around, it’s crucial that you accept that at this current state, your ex’s love for you is no longer there.
I commonly see clients that are living in denial because they think that there is no other way.
They subconsciously fear that if they accept that the love is gone, then they’re accepting defeat, and they will never be able to get back together with the person they love.
Rest assured, it does not work like that. The only thing that happens if you approach the situation in this manner is that you do not set yourself up for success and you end up shooting yourself in the foot.
Accepting the current reality ensures that you can adopt the absolute best plan of action.
At this point in time, it is crucial that you are honest with yourself about the relationship and
about your ex.
Yes, what you had is gone, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t create something new and ten times better!
Think about it, you’ve made your ex fall in love with you before, so why wouldn’t you be able to do it again?
This breakup has highlighted what went wrong and what needs to change, and now you can use it as an opportunity to create something stronger that will withstand the test of time; something that strengthens your bond like never before.
I often remind my clients that oftentimes, a breakup is the best thing to happen for two people.
It’s an electroshock that can turn into the catalyst for the necessary changes that to be made that will set your relationship on the right path once and for all.
Where did the love go between you and your ex?
If your ex lost feelings for you, it means that something happened. There are always reasons behind things like this.
Sometimes the love begins to dissipate before the breakup happens, and other times it disappears after the breakup has actually taken place.
If the love went away after a breakup, it’s most often caused by needy or clingy behavior. If you’re familiar with our philosophy, then you know how we try to guard against this type of behavior because it can send an ex running for the hills.
If it happened before the breakup, it could be because of fighting or because of neglect.
If there is a lack of physical or emotional intimacy between you, a person will often distance themselves simply because they no longer feel fulfilled. Remember that everyone has their own Love Language.
Perhaps you were communicating your love in a way that did not translate to your ex.
For example, maybe your way of showing your ex your love was through actions and gestures
whereas they feel love the most through words of affirmation…
Now that the love is gone, here’s what to do
During the process of getting an ex back, a lot of people forget or underestimate the rules of seduction and the rules of attraction.
This usually happens because they just assume they don’t need to do anything anymore.
They already did it once so why would they have to do all the work all over again?
Well, when the love is gone and you’re trying to get your ex back, it doesn’t quite work like that.
You need to reignite the spark between you and that happens by making your ex fall for you.
At this point, you’ve got a fresh page and it’s up to you to start creating something fresh – something even better than before! And yes, this does involve re-seducing your ex.
So let’s take a look at what to do when the love is gone…
1. Prioritizing your inner peace after lost love
Though this is a challenging period, you can find a sense of peace in acknowledging and accepting the fact that the love is gone (for now).
It’s important to be comfortable with your current reality so that you do not allow yourself to live in denial, or to approach the situation in the wrong way.
You are now deciding that you are going to do what it takes to change the situation, and it is all in your power.
Now is the time to mentally and emotionally prepare to start with a clean slate!
You can do this by practicing meditation, taking the time to write down a list of everything that went wrong (no matter how small) and coming up with concrete, long term solutions for each item on your list, getting physically active to boost your energy, mood, and self confidence, getting in touch with me or a member of my team for one on one guidance, reading about all of the tips and tools available to you on this website…
2. Commit to personal development when your ex’s love is gone
Do not accept defeat here. You are going to take this as an opportunity to become the new and improved version of the person your ex fell in love with in the first place, and this will make you irresistible in their eyes.
This is a lesson that will help you to ensure that the rest of your life is better than your past.
Remember that if you aren’t growing, you are flatlining, and you will not be getting closer to real happiness.
Commit to the growth that you are about to do (or that you are already doing) and get excited about it!
This is you taking care of yourself and creating a bright future that anyone would want to be a part of.
Brush up on your dating and seduction skills
Now that the love has gone, you’ve got to ensure that you’re coming with the right attitude. When you see your ex, you’ve got to ensure that you’re able to show up in a magnetic way that is going to spark their interest while simultaneously putting their apprehensions at ease.
Don’t give your ex the opportunity to get scared about what it would be like to date you again.
You want them to feel inspired. If you’ve been taking this time to truly improve your own life and implement the lessons you’ve learned from this breakup, your ex will take notice.
You aren’t trying to deceive them; you’ve genuinely improved and you are creating a new, solid foundation.
So when you’re around your ex, prioritize positivity. Be fun, smile, laugh, talk about the new things you’ve been trying out, the new places you’ve been to, what you’ve been up to with your friends, how you remodeled your kitchen, the trip you’re planning on taking next summer, etc.
Show your ex that you aren’t sitting around feeling sorry for yourself!
Don’t talk about the relationship, don’t bring up being together…
You don’t want this to feel forced so you’ve got to play it cool and show your ex that it’s fun to be around you.
You’re enjoying the present moment, and when they’re with you, they get to do the same thing…
Instead of holding on when the love is gone, focus on YOU
I’m not saying that you need to give up on getting back together with your ex! I am saying that you need to focus on your own life and your own happiness.
This is how people attract others like moths to a flame.
When you are doing what you love doing, you become magnetic and you radiate positivity.
When your ex (and everyone else) sees that your life looks fulfilling and that you are genuinely happy and have grown, they will gravitate towards you.
This is how you get back in control of the situation!
If you would like one on one coaching from me or a member of my team of experts, please don’t hesitate to reach out or to leave your question in the comments section below!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when the love is gone
Adrian
