As a love and relationship coach specialized in getting people back together, I can tell you right off the bat that when two people break up it is very hard to accept the need to put some space between you. That said, I can also vouch for the power of doing so! When a relationship ends and you still want to be with this person, you have got to turn the tables and make your ex pursue you. But you already know that because you’re reading this article that will show you exactly how to make your ex chase you! In addition to this, I am going to go over some of the biggest do’s and don’ts when it comes to successfully doing it, so by the time you get to the end of this article, you will be ready to launch your plan of action!
So without further ado, let’s dive right in.
How to make your ex chase you: The fundamentals
So you and the person you’re in love with have broken up. Perhaps you were the one who ended the relationship, but it may have been your ex who decided to pull the plug. As of now, you’re heartbroken and trying to figure out how exactly you’re going to be able to get this person back in your arms.
If you want this person to get back together with you, the very first thing you’re going to have to do is put space between you. When a person just got broken up with, it’s not uncommon for them to try to do everything in their power to make their ex take them back. Their emotions get the best of them and this can lead to some serious mistakes. You can end up begging and pleading, being clingy and needy, and I can tell you right now that this is going to push your ex even further away. There is no better way to solidify the idea that they’re better off without you in their mind…
Instead of doing this, how can you make them miss you instead?
How to make your ex boyfriend chase you after a breakup by using the no contact
rule
One of the most powerful tools that I suggest to my clients who want to get their exes back is the No Contact Rule, aka Radio Silence. If you are unfamiliar with this technique, it consists of cutting communication with your ex for a predetermined amount of time, ranging from three weeks to three months. The duration of this period will depend on how the breakup unfolded, your behavior following the breakup, and how messy things got.
Don’t hesitate to get in touch with me if you need some pointers on how to use this tool and the length of time that would be ideal in your situation!
How to spark your ex’s attention while you’re using this tool
While you’re using NC and you want to ensure that your ex chases you, it is imperative that you stick with it! That means no texting, no calling, no emailing, no liking pictures on Instagram, no comments on Facebook, no pokes, no tweets, no smoke signals, no carrier pigeons… nothing!
While you do this, you’ve got to focus on yourself! You’v got to prioritize becoming the best version of yourself, becoming happier, feeling more fulfilled and more proud of yourself. Now is the time to think about all your passions and hobbies that were placed on the back burner during your relationship, and the people in your life that you may have neglected when you started to focus more heavily on your relationship.
Bring all of those elements back into your life and you’ll see that you’re going to start to feel much different. You’ll feel more confident, happier, and more in control and trust me, this is going to catch your ex’s attention.
Making your ex chase you because they can’t imagine living without you
In addition to this, I want you to start to think about what new elements you can start introducing into your life.
If you barricade yourself in your bedroom, sulk and watch Netflix, you’re not going to get closer to your goal.
Challenge yourself to try out new things, meet new people, and work towards your goals. When your ex sees that you aren’t sitting around at home feeling sorry for yourself, and you aren’t even going out of your way to try to speak to them, they’re going to feel a mix of different things that will be quite beneficial to your process. First they’ll feel surprised that you aren’t begging and pleading and you aren’t pining for their attention in any way. They will be expecting you to cling to them but when they realize that you have more interesting things going on, they’ll start to pay close attention.
On top of that, they’ll start to think about what it would be like if they were still a part of your life.
When you start to live a very attractive life, a seed of doubt is planted in your ex’s mind. The more improvements you make following the breakup, the more this seed will grow. So the the key to making your ex chase you is to start living a life that makes them want to be a part of it.
If you really focus on becoming the 2.0 version of the person they fell in love with in the first place, you essentially make yourself irresistible and your ex will want to chase you!
Making someone chase you: You are the prize
As human beings, we tend to value what we don’t possess and take for granted the things that we feel already belong to us. This is true for material possessions, but it is also applicable to human relationships. Simply put, the more easily available you are to someone, the easier it is for them to take you for granted.
This is why the NC Rule is so powerful. It gives your ex an electroshock that makes them realize that you are not at their beck and call, and that you are growing as a result of this breakup. You aren’t letting it break you down; it served as a catalyst for very important change that will make you all the more attractive in the end.
Working on yourself in crucial. At first, the NC Rule can help you to remain in control of the negative emotions that follow a breakup. The distance helps you to avoid mistakes like reaching out and/or begging and pleading with your ex.
When you use this tool properly, you become an exciting challenge. You become The Prize, and your ex will become attracted to the idea of winning you over. People do love “the game.” We get so wrapped up in our thoughts after a breakup that we forget the element of fun! If you want your ex to chase you, you really need to make things exciting for them. They won’t want to get close to someone who’s sulking and feeling sorry for themselves.
They’ll want to be part of the life of someone who loves the life they’re living!
So don’t allow yourself to put pressure on your shoulders and to get stressed out about the situation. Though I know it’s hard at first, changing your frame of mind and approaching the situation as something fun can make a world of difference both in terms of how you feel and carry out your plan of action, and how your ex perceives the new and improved You!
Silence is not inactivity when you want your ex to chase you
Many of the people I work with worry that if they aren’t “actively” trying to get their ex back, they are going to lose this person forever. The key here is to understand that while you are putting distance between you, you are not in a period of “inactivity.”
You are using this period to make your ex want to chase you by taking advantage of the distance between you. It gives you the freedom to really focus on yourself and grow from this experience. It’s what allows you to make a stronger comeback later on down the line!
I really encourage you to think about the quality of your life and how you can improve it, and how you’re spending your time and who you are spending it with. This is the approach that is going to bring big (positive!) changes to your life, and this is what’s going to spark your ex’s desire to chase you.
If you’re able to do this, and I know you can do this, you will no longer feel the need to chase after your ex, because they will be the ones making that effort.
Remember, the key is to attract your ex by living a life that they would be a fool to not want to be a part of.
As I said, I am here to help so don’t hesitate to reach out or to leave your question in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to make your ex chase you
Alex Cormont
