Let me just start out by setting your mind at ease. Yes, it IS possible to win your ex boyfriend back even if you two have already broken up! When your heart is freshly broken and you witnessed the relationship crumble, it’s easy to be pessimistic and let negative thoughts get the best of you. Unfortunately, it also makes you vulnerable to making various post-breakup mistakes that hinder the odds of getting your ex back.

That is precisely why I wanted to create this article for you today on how to win your boyfriend back after a breakup and how to steer clear of actions and behaviors that can push you further away from your goal. I’m going to share some of the most powerful tips that we recommend to our clients and you will be able to learn all about them right here!

Why it IS possible to get your ex back

How to win your boyfriend back

Many of my clients tell me that things aren’t looking great for them because the ex in question explicitly said something along the lines of, “I don’t love you anymore and this relationship is over.” Sure, when you hear something like that it’s pretty easy to despair and yes, unfortunately your ex does feel like this at the moment. That said, it doesn’t mean that we can’t change it.

It may sound funny to you right now, but this breakup could actually be an enormous blessing in disguise. Yes, you read that right! Though it may not feel like that right now, if you play your cards right you will find that this breakup was actually a catalyst for very important changes and improvements that ensure that your relationship with this person becomes stronger than ever before.

As painful as they are, separations highlight issues in relationships and can really serve as an electroshock that gets people to make the changes that needed to be made in order for the relationship to actually thrive. Just the other day I received an email from one of my former clients saying,

Dear Adrian,
I just wanted to shoot you an email and thank you again for what you did for Lilly and I. I was so lost when she broke up with me, and I know you of all people know that! But thanks to how you helped me to zero in on what needed to happen and what I needed to do, I can honestly tell you that now that she’s taken me back, we’ve never been this happy. Not even when we got together for the very first time. It’s kind of weird to be writing this right now but I think that I’m actually grateful in a way for this breakup. Without it, we’d still be unhappy and nothing would have changed, so we would just be heading towards a breakup anyway.

Anyway man, thanks again.



I’m not sharing this with you in order to toot my own horn; I want to share yet another success story so that you can see how anything is possible in love if you’re willing to do the work. If you want to sit around, moping by yourself at home, things aren’t going to change.

But you’re already making an effort and you’ve gone out of your way to find an article on how to win your boyfriend back! You’re already on the right track so hats off to you!

How to win your ex boyfriend back by avoiding these 2 things

win your ex boyfriend back

As we get started on how to win your boyfriend back, I wanted to begin by going over the biggest no-no’s to keep in mind at this point. I want to make sure we steer clear of anything that will get you further away from your goal. At this point you’re feeling vulnerable and your heart is feeling raw so unfortunately you are at the highest risk for doing things that can hinder your longterm success.

And I’m talking about your relationship with this man but also in terms of your personal life.

There are certain behaviors that can push your ex away, and there are certain behaviors that can push your ex away AND negatively affect your longterm goals!

For example, if you are currently trying to drown your sorrows in crazy parties that leave you feeling completely annihilated the next day, it is going to have an effect on your energy levels, your health, and even your job. Simply put, you’ve got to be careful to avoid quick fixes that numb the pain for now, but end up contributing to unhappiness down the line.

If you really want to win him back, it is imperative that you prioritize your own well being right now. I know that might sound counterintuitive because you think that you have to focus all of your energy on him in order to make him understand that you two could be happy together, but you are going to have to go against your instincts for a little while.

The more you fixate on him, the harder it is going to be to get him back.

Being aware of your behavior when it comes to getting your ex back

The first thing I want to bring your attention to at this stage is the danger of begging and pleading with your ex. We’ve all done it, but from here on out it must stop! It’s pretty much one of the worst things you could do right now because it shows your ex that you’ve still got him on a pedestal and that if he ever felt like it, he could get you back in two seconds. It’s very reassuring for him, and it also makes it dangerously easy for him to take you for granted.

We’ve got to be careful to avoid making him see you in a negative light, especially when you want to win his heart back.

At the present moment, he’s associating you with the breakup which conjures up negative emotions. I don’t want you to assume that just because he may have been the one to end things between you that he’s not hurting as well.

After all these years as a love and relationship coach specialized in getting people back together, I can confidently tell you that both people involved in the breakup experience a surge of negative emotions.

Winning your ex boyfriend back after a breakup by avoiding pleading at all costs

So if he’s got a bad taste in his mouth in regards to the breakup, begging and pleading for forgiveness is actually going to amplify those negative emotions. Why?

Simply because each time you apologize for something that you did wrong, you’re going to bring your ex’s bad memories and emotions right to the forefront of their mind. The more you talk about something over and over, the more those negative memories and emotions are going to solidify in his mind. Again, we don’t want him to see you in a negative light.

If you have something to apologize for and you haven’t already done it then yes, by all means you’re going to have to apologize. One of the best tools we offer for this type of thing is the handwritten letter, which I will go over further down. It allows you to sit down, organize your thoughts and present them in a clear and honest way. It’s not as invasive as calling your ex up to tell them how sorry you are, and it gives him the opportunity to read it when he’s ready and really digest your words.

But if you’ve already done so, it’s time to stop. The most beneficial thing you could do right now is to begin putting space between you and switch your focus to yourself.

How to win your boyfriend back: A to Z

boyfriend back

You’ve surely heard of some of these tools if you’re familiar with our philosophy on getting exes back. The techniques we recommend have been proven to work time and time again, so let’s take a look, shall we?

How to win someone back with the NC Rule

Our of all the techniques available to you right now, the no contact rule is one of the most powerful ones. The goal of it is to give your ex an electroshock that makes him realize how much better his life would be if you were in it.

To summarize, it consists of cutting communication with him for a predetermined period of time ranging from three weeks to 30 months depending on the characteristics of the breakup. The goal here is to surprise your ex boyfriend by no longer being available to him, especially when he’s expecting you to place her on a pedestal and be at his beck and call, while simultaneously working on becoming the best version of yourself. He’ll realize that you’ve switched your focus and you’re beginning to live a fulfilling life that he would actually really want to be a part of.

While you use this tool it’s imperative that you are strict about sticking to the rules, or you’ll end up right back at square one, having to start from scratch. So this means that you are to avoid reaching out but you’re also to avoid responding to him when he reaches out, watching his Instagram stories, liking his posts, sending emails, poking him on Facebook, etc.

Communication is to be completely cut in order for this to be effective.

A lot people who are trying to win an ex back get nervous at the idea of this because they panic and think that their ex is going to forget about them. Trust me, the bond that two people share who were in a relationship doesn’t disappear overnight.

Plus, think about it this way: What’s a few weeks of discipline compared to a lifetime of happiness with this person?

Using personal development to win your ex boyfriend back fast

The NC rule doesn’t just consist of radio silence. If you want it to be effective, you’ve got to combine it will personal development.

When people are in relationships, it’s very common to lose track of their personal lives. Their hobbies, their passions, their friends, and sometimes even their families. The problem of course is that this creates a sizable imbalance in the relationship and can actually contribute to the breakup. So now that you’re ready to work on coming out on top and you want to know how to make him miss you, you’ve got to get busy with making your life better than ever.

Start thinking about the things that got put on the back-burner while you were in this relationship. Are there personal projects, hobbies and goals that got set aside? Did you stop spending time with people that used to bring you a lot of joy? Now is the perfect time to start reintroducing these elements into your life so that you can fill up your schedule with things that make you happy!

In addition to this, I’d like you to start thinking about what new things you could start doing. What are some activities that you’ve always wanted to try out? Some examples are golfing, yoga, surfing, cooking, or maybe even skydiving? It’s the perfect time to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new.

Physical health when trying to win back your ex boyfriend

When you want to know how to win an ex back, don’t underestimate the power of getting physically active. The biggest thing about being physically active is that it releases endorphins which make you happier and gives you more energy. Of course there is the added benefit of a better physique, but the way your body and mind feel is going to directly impact how you’re going to approach this situation.

If physical activity isn’t already a part of your life, I highly recommend getting active. It’ll boost your mood and give you a boost of confidence. What’s more, your ex boyfriend is definitely going to take note! Don’t hesitate to post motivating selfies or pictures on social media. Even if your ex isn’t looking at your profiles, word will travel back to him that you’re looking great.

If you are already a pretty active person, I encourage you to switch up your workout routine and try some different activities. If you have been hitting the gym regularly, try bikram yoga out or maybe even take up swimming.

Sex: The miracle solution to win him back?

sex to win boyfriend back

In a word, no.

Sex is not the miracle remedy that undoes everything that’s gone wrong between you. It’s not a guarantee that your ex will develop strong feelings for you again. Of course some couples get back together because they were able recreate a connection thanks to sex, but this isn’t how it happens for the majority of people. Sometimes sex is the cause of the breakup, in which case having sex with your ex in an effort to win him back IS a good idea. If the lack of passion was the sole problem, then reintroducing passion is going to serve you.

As this is a delicate situation, I recommend getting in touch with either me or a member of my team by clicking here, and that way we can come up with a custom action plan that will get your to your goal.

Now, if you’ve been playing your cards right, sex will be back on the table at some point, yes.

But not until after you did the work to inspire your ex to want to get close to you again, hence why I went over the importance of the no contact rule.

The Handwritten letter: The ideal tool for catapulting you towards getting back together

You’re probably wondering about how to segue between the no contact period and the contact period. You will of course need to reestablish a platform for communication when the time is right, but how?

Well, here is where another powerful weapon that you’ve got in your arsenal comes into play: The handwritten letter.

To be clear, this is not a love letter, nor is it a poem to get your ex back.

It’s going to be all about expressing what you’ve learned since the breakup took place and what you’ve changed in your own life. For details on how exactly to write this letter, I encourage you to click here for in-depth information on the perfect letter for your ex.

Timing when you work on winning your ex boyfriend back

Though this letter is very powerful, it needs to be sent at the right moment. So when is the ideal moment to send it to him? Well, by waiting a while after your last contact with your ex, your letter will carry more weight and have a bigger impact. It is often used as a means to open conversation back up at the end of a no contact period.

Think about it this way: If we have someone who smokes 20 cigarettes a day and we take all of them away from one day to the next with no opportunity to replenish, they’re going to be jonesing for a smoke pretty badly, right?

If on the other hand we take that same person and we give them 15 cigarettes instead of 20, then 10 instead of 15, then 5 instead of 10 until there are no more, they’re going to have a much easier time and won’t feel the effects of withdrawal as much.

The same concept can be applied to your ex. If you disappear from their life cold turkey, they’re going to experience a shock and crave a “fix.” So if you suddenly stop communicating and fall of his radar, and then make a nice entrance down the line via a letter that showcases all the amazing things you’ve been up to, you’re going to have a person who’s basically foaming at the mouth, ready to pour through your letter in order to get their fix of you.

That is why I stress the importance of patience, self control, and timing throughout this entire process.

You are in control of more than you might realize!

Wishing you all the best in life and love,

Your coach when you want to win your boyfriend back