My ex left me for an ex and I have no idea what to do

This morning I was talking with a client who told me, “My ex left me for an ex of theirs and I feel so sick, I don’t know what to do. I still want to be together but I think it might be too late.” Because this is something that isn’t so uncommon, I wanted to write an article on how to handle a situation like this, especially when you’re hoping to get back together with your ex. Right off the bat I want you to know that this isn’t about competition; it’s going to be about personal development. You can turn this thing around and you are more in control of the situation than you might realize!
There are do’s and don’ts to take into consideration and it’s very important to be careful with your actions during a challenging period like this. It’s easy to act out and exhibit vengeful behavior, but it would only be a detriment. Instead, I’ll show you what you should focus on if you want to bounce back and show your ex that they’d be happy with you by their side!

My ex dumped me for their ex: Why?!

The feeling of rejection that you’re experiencing is rough, I know. I work with people in your shoes on a regular basis, so I understand how it feels when the person you love chooses someone else over you – especially when the other person happens to be their ex.

There is often a sense of comparison. “Why did my ex choose them over me?” “What do they have that I don’t?” “How can I compare to their ex – they already have so much history!”

I can tell you right now that there is no sense in filling your mind with negative thoughts and allowing them to control you. If you’re going to be pessimistic about this, it’s going to damage your odds of success! Instead, I want you to focus on what you can control: your actions.

Why did they leave me for their ex?

At this point, you’re probably thinking, “You could be dating anyone – why HER,” or “why HIM?”

Chances are you were probably feeling insecure about your partner’s ex at some point in your relationship and the fact that they’re together now makes you feel physically ill.

So why did this happen? Is it the end of the world?

Well, don’t worry. It’s not as bad as it looks. Very often, I see that when an ex leaves, it’s because they’re unhappy, but not necessarily because they want to be alone. The loneliness following a breakup can be all-encompassing, so they turn to another option that feels familiar.

You see when two people break up, they lose their comfort zone and they crave it the moment they feel lonely. For your ex, their ex was also a comfort zone so more often than not, they’re turning to this person as a strange form of a rebound relationship. It’s easy, it’s convenient, and they don’t need to be alone.

You’re fixating on the fact that they have history, but at the end of the day, your ex is just with someone else and your approach will need to be the same (regardless of whether your ex is with a stranger or their ex).

She left me for her ex, will she come back: Thinking about timing

While I do not want you to rush things in any way, I do want to take a moment to go over the role that timing plays. To put it simply, there will be a different approach requires depending on the timeline.

If you were in a relationship with your ex for five years and they went back to their ex that they were with for six months or a year, your approach will be different than if you dated your ex for six months and they went back to their ex spouse of ten years!

The longer your relationship was, the longer you have to make them fall for you. If your relationship was shorter than their relationship with their ex, you will have less time and will need to focus on re-attracting them faster.

As each situation is unique, I highly recommend getting in touch with us here for one on one coaching or leaving your question in the comments section below.

My ex left me for an ex: What do I do?

My ex left me for an ex

Now that we’ve gone over why your ex went back to their ex, let’s talk about what you can do about it. As I was saying above, it’s important to understand that this is not about competition. There is no sense in comparing yourself to your ex’s ex, because at the end of the day, that changes nothing.

It’s just going to make you feel miserable and insecure, and have your head full of questions and negative thoughts all the time.

Instead, now is the time to switch your focus to yourself. The issue at hand is that YOUR relationship ended, so we need to pinpoint the reasons behind that. You do not want to compete with someone else for your ex’s attention. If you do, then you are devaluing yourself, and putting your ex on a pedestal. It’s not about a competition – it’s about you becoming the best version of yourself.

You’re only competing with yourself, You’ve got to use this experience as a new beginning and a positive catalyst for change. It’s up to you to learn from the mistakes made in the relationship, avoid driving yourself crazy, not doubting yourself and using this situation as an opportunity to become better.

Understanding why he or she left you so that you can become better

First things first, your ex fell in love with you for a reason. Along the line, something changed, so you’ve got to take some time to pinpoint what exactly that was. What changed in your behavior?

Did you start to lose yourself in the relationship? Did you stop doing things for yourself and focus solely on your ex?

Oftentimes people get too comfortable in a relationship and stop doing things that make them happy, they stop taking care of themselves physically, and they stop prioritizing seduction. The result of course is that their partner will become disenchanted with the relationship and feel nostalgic for the person they fell in love with at the beginning. Another thing that happens is that they feel like they’ve seen that you’ve changed so much that they begin to miss something else that was familiar to them: Their ex.

So when you’re thinking, “My ex dumped me for someone else,” it’s because they’re looking for something they had before.

So again, it’s not about competition. It’s about rebuilding attraction and working on yourself so that you can become the new and improved version of the person your ex fell in love with at the very beginning of your relationship with them.

They fell for you once before so rest assured that it can happen again, if you play your cards right!

How to make them forget about their ex…

As this article comes to a close, I want you to begin giving yourself goals.

Think about what elements of your behavior could be improved, how you can start becoming the best version of yourself, and how you can revamp your life.

Keep in mind that people are attracted to happy people like moths to a flame… If your ex sees you thriving, his or her curiosity will be sparked. What do you think happens when they realize that you have become the 2.0 version of the person they fell in love with in the first place?

You have found a site that is full of tools and techniques for getting an ex back, so I encourage you to start learning how to attract your ex back, how to bounce back from this break up so that you can be happier than ever, and how to make your ex want you back!

As always we are here to help so don’t hesitate to leave your question in the comments section below, or reach out to us directly right here.

Wishing you all the best in life and love,

Your coach when you’re thinking, “My ex left me for an ex”

Adrian