Expert tips on rebuilding confidence after a breakup

More often than not, a person will feel insecure following a breakup. Your whole world just got turned upside down, so it’s normal that your self confidence would take a hit. Your head is swimming with questions and fears, and you’re worried that you’ve lost the person you love forever. Rebuilding confidence after a breakup is one the biggest elements of bouncing back, but it is also a key player in getting back together with someone. When you’re feeling down and out, insecure, and anxious, you’re at risk for making some of the biggest mistakes when it comes to making your ex want to give you a second chance. The period directly following a breakup is often when I see people making the most mistakes, but you don’t want that to happen to you! You have already gone out of your way to find information on what to do in this situation and how to bounce back.

Hats off to you because not only have you already taken action, you’ve come to the right place.

In this article, you are going to find pro tips on what you can do to stop feeling so low, and how you can use this situation to carve the way to a happy future while attracting your ex back into your life!

How to find yourself after a breakup when you’re feeling down and out

First things first, I want you to understand that what you’re feeling right now is perfectly normal.

Your heart has just been broken and your world has crumbled around you.

You’ve had to wrap your head around the fact that the person you love most has decided that they don’t want a future with you anymore, and now you’ve got to figure out how to overcome the pain you’re feeling.

On top of that, you don’t agree with your ex partner’s decision to pull the plug on this relationship. You still believe in your love, and that makes everything even more painful. It fills your head with doubts about how your ex felt about you and what you bring to the table.

But again, this is normal and this is temporary.

You aren’t going to feel this way forever, and there are plenty of things that you can do in order to turn things around both in terms of your own personal life and in terms of your relationship with this person.

When you begin to date a person, little by little, you begin to reveal a bit more about yourself and you allow yourself to become a bit more vulnerable.

You start to get more comfortable and you start to let elements of your personality or your habits come to light.

Perhaps you stop being as tidy as you had made your partner believe, perhaps you start to become a bit more lax in the way you present yourself and how you take care of yourself, and perhaps you stop hiding your potential shortcomings.

When the breakup happens, our self confidence takes a sizable hit because we were being who we really are with someone, and they left.

So what can you do now? What do you do when the authentic version of yourself did not give you the results you wanted with the person that you love? How to get confidence back after a breakup like this?

Rebuilding confidence after a breakup is crucial…

Rebuilding confidence after a breakup

When it comes to getting confidence back after a breakup, it all comes from getting back in touch with yourself. Right now, you’re unhappy and you’re dissatisfied, so you’ve got to think about how you can start making yourself happy again.

A lot of the people I work with struggle with becoming happy again after a breakup because they were suffering from emotional dependency in the relationship and had been depending on their ex to make them happy.

Now they feel like they’ve been taken off of life support and they don’t know where to turn.

Though it might sound cliché, there is a lot of truth to the statement that you can’t make anyone happy until you’re able to make yourself happy.

If you really want to work on getting your confidence back after a break up, now is the time to get up and get shakin’! Fill up your schedule with things that make you happy. Don’t allow yourself to sit around wallowing on the couch.

Challenge yourself to find new activities, hang out with your friends and family, revisit old hobbies that you had lost sight of when you got comfortable in your relationship, and check out new places.

Now is the time to change, evolve, and learn about who you really are!

I know you might be thinking that your ex didn’t like who you really are, and that’s why you’re feeling like this right now, but the most important thing is that YOU like yourself, and you understand that you can evolve if you know that there is room for improvement.

At this point, I want you to be careful to avoid fixating on the what if’s. So many of my clients drive themselves crazy thinking about how things could have been, what they should have done differently, what they did wrong, etc.

They just end up digging themselves into a dark hole that makes them feel terrible about themselves, when they should be using this breakup as a tool for highlighting what things they can improve, and how they can create a deeply satisfying future with or without their ex!

So are there any tools or techniques that you can use to help you reach your goal?

How to love yourself after a breakup: The key

How to love yourself after a breakup

So instead of spending all your time wondering what you could have done differently, let this experience serve as a wakeup call.

Right now, you have got to mourn the loss of this relationship and your identity that was connected to it.

It’s important that you learn to exist independently from this relationship, and that is what is going to help with rebuilding your life after a breakup.

Don’t forget that you have done this before – you had your own life and your own identity before you got together with this person. I understand that you’ve gotten into a new routine while being with this person, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change it.

The goal now is going to be to get back in touch with yourself and prove to yourself that you can make yourself happy. You don’t need your ex in order to feel good and love yourself.

Right now, I encourage you to put yourself in an environment where you can succeed and where your qualities can shine. Focus on your strengths and focus on reaching goals, and little by little you’ll start to realize and prove to yourself that you’ve still got it.

When you’re trying to revive your relationship with this person, it’s very important to see the glass as being half full instead of half empty.

Yes, your confidence and self esteem are down in the dumps right now, but like I said if you’re able to start setting goals and focus on reaching them, you’ll start to feel better and this experience will have served as an incredible tool to help transform you into the absolute best version of yourself.

Self improvement after breakups is the key to bouncing back AND to making someone want you back, if that is what you’re working towards.

How to focus on yourself after a breakup

focus on yourself after a breakup

We often tend to forget that we weren’t born the day we got a boyfriend or the day we got a girlfriend.

Right now you’re feeling off, unhappy, and uncomfortable in your own skin, and I’m sure that you can agree that the person you are today is not the person you were at the very beginning of the relationship.

So what changed? What were you doing in the beginning of your relationship with this person that you are no longer doing now? Who were you hanging out with? What did your schedule look like? What activities were you doing?

Now is the perfect time to start doing all of these things again. Remember, you want to be busy right now so make sure that you’re doing things that make you genuinely happy and remind you of what you bring to the table.

When your confidence takes a hit, it’s important that you take action. Sulking at home, ruminating in your own thoughts makes it easy to have negative spiraling thoughts that end up making you feel worse and even more tired.

So when you want to know the best way to rebuild confidence after a breakup, just remember that you need to get busy, get physically active, surround yourself with people that bring you joy, give yourself new challenges, put yourself in situations in which you can excel, and avoid sulking around by yourself at home.

As always, we are here to help so please don’t hesitate to reach out to us here for one on one guidance, or leave your question in the comments section below.

Wishing you all the best in life and love,

Your coach for rebuilding confidence after a breakup

Adrian