Not everyone is lucky enough to be on good terms with their ex, without having to deal with insults, violence, and vengeance. In reality, no longer being together doesn’t automatically mean that you’re going to be happy again immediately; a breakup can leave a mark, and your ex’s absence is felt.
You know better than anyone that you’re on this site reading this article looking for advice on how to feel better and how to move forward. A separation can hurt and can push a person to be hostile.
I receive messages, phone calls, and testimonials from people every day that are going through a difficult period following a breakup. Sometimes your suffering is rooted in your ex’s behavior, and sometimes it’s rooted in the simple fact that you’re no longer together. This isn’t easy to go through, especially when you feel like you’re at your wit’s end and your feelings for your ex are very much still present…
In this article, I am going to walk you through the process on how to shift your mindset and become the bigger person after a breakup, share with you what you should and shouldn’t do after a breakup, and how to control your emotions as I know right now can be a difficult time. Please feel free to comment and ask any questions below if you have anything specific you would like quick advice on.
Why am I depressed over breakup?
You want to move on from this situation and get over a breakup but the past is weighing heavily on your shoulders. In turn, you’ll have to ask yourself some important questions if you want to move forward. “How to stop being sad about a breakup” is one of the main ones. You’re going to have to use multiple things like patience and determination to advance and not let the pain from your ex’s negativity or the breakup control you.
We all know someone that has been able to quickly bounce back from separation and hadn’t let it get them down. Unfortunately, not everyone can figure out how to stop being depressed about a breakup that quickly. It’s important to differentiate between the people that do move on quickly, and those that pretend that they’re fine while they’re suffering in secret.
No matter how long you had been with someone, you develop habits and a certain rhythm in your relationship, and as soon as you breakup everything is called into question. You had known that you have someone by your side every single day and this is a sensation that most men and women search for in their life. Despite all our differences, we all want to find the right person, and when it suddenly no longer exists, it’s an enormous disappointment.
You feel like you have to start all over again, like you’ve wasted so much time and this is turn makes it hard to bounce back. The sacrifices you made, the efforts you had made weren’t enough… or at least that’s what you think in moments like these. The negative side of things take first place in your thoughts, and you can easily forget about happy memories.
It’s important that you take the time to reflect on the reasons for why this breakup happened and felt the hurt that this may cause you. So many people hide their emotions, and it ends up getting worse in the future. They cannot deal with their emotions, and in turn, they don’t take the time to reflect on how and why the breakup happened, so they experience the same issues that appear into their lives again. Yes, it’s difficult at times, but things like this aren’t meant to be easy. The strong people that move forward after a breakup take the time to realize what happened and focus on the right dynamic shifts that their minds may play on them.
How long does depression last after a breakup?
The most significant advantage and opportunity you can give to yourself is being able to control your mind to keep progressing in a positive direction. So many clients think about all the great memories that they had together and tend to forget about what made the relationship fall apart, or they search for answers they won’t be able to get answers too and find themselves chasing an unrealistic result that will only get them more rooted in the depths of why am I so depressed after this breakup?
The way to move forward is to focus on all the great things that you contributed to this relationship and move forward by focusing on you. It’s like this quote “Love yourself first because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” So, search for the answers that you can answer yourself and find out how you can show up to be a better person for your ex or a future relationship. Do things that make you happy. Socialize with your friends, workout, read, go to the beach, involve yourself with a Non-Profit, and do things that keep you constantly busy. This will shift your energy towards a positive direction, and the breakup will get easier in time.
Moving forward, there’s another element to take into consideration. The attitude your ex adopts after the breakup can also influence the way you’re going to react. If they immediately start a new relationship with someone else, if they’re double-dealing, or if they continue talking to you to make you sad after the breakup, it makes perfect sense that you would be having a tough time moving on and putting an end to your sadness.
That’s why it’s important to keep busy and take this time to ask yourself positive questions because the best revenge you can have towards your ex is becoming the best person you can be. This brings an enormous amount of happiness and confidence. This is something that cannot be hidden, and ultimately your ex will notice a change. Also, maybe by this point, you will have a self-discovery about yourself and not emotionally or physically want to get back with your ex. Or vice versa you ex will see an emotional and physically change within you and do whatever it takes to get you back.
Seeking revenge on your ex won’t make you forget them any faster
When you’re wondering how to stop suffering because of your ex and all they’re doing is continuing to provoke you, not letting yourself mourn the relationship and move forward in peace, sometimes you might think of revenge in order to give them a taste of their own medicine.
Let me tell you right now; this is not a good idea. Some people try to do this so that they can create an electroshock even when their ex isn’t necessarily doing anything wrong. Some people tend to be spiteful in times of heartache.
I understand why you’d want to give tit for tat because you’re hurting, but there are notably 2 big reasons as to why you should steer clear of this mindset. First of all, if you want to get back together, doing this will create even more distance between you and therefore make it considerably difficult to succeed in your endeavor.
If you simply want to turn the page and move on, setting out to hurt someone that you don’t want to think about anymore is a waste of time and energy, and a surefire way to feel even worse in the end. I highly do not recommend this because whatever we put out there will always come back to us one way or another and this will simply show your ex that you are not over them as you took the time to plot something against them. This not only gives them full control but also gives them the advantage to see you haven’t changed and possibly make them happier since they know you still are hurting, depending on the breakup.
You’re not a bad person so don’t go against your nature and make this mistake. You’ll just have more regrets and be angry with yourself even if it feels good at the moment. As time goes on you will see that it was an error and you’re not the first person to ever have found themselves in this situation. So if you’re thinking about doing this I hope after reading this you’ve changed your mind.
How to stop being sad about a breakup? By focusing on yourself!
To avoid post-breakup depression and to not let the separation get you down, it’s imperative to focus on you and your actions. Basing your attitude on your ex’s behavior is what’s holding you back from moving forward. I see this often and even though it may sound challenging you to have the strength within you, and you are not alone. Many people have overcome breakups, separation, and even divorce.
You can’t allow them to run your life, and especially not after a breakup. When you want to stop being sad about your ex (and I’m referring to those of you that want your ex back as well as to those of you that don’t,) the most important thing is to find yourself again after the divorce or separation. Being the best person you can be will be the best revenge on your x and ultimately the best thing that you can do for yourself.
Waking up and staring busy, by working out, investing time into your career, and scheduling things in your calendar that you love to do and that makes you happy is a great way to start cheering yourself up after a breakup. Working out releases a lot of negative emotions and will help you feel better as the days go on. If you have been planning to take a trip to the mountains or to the beach to spend some quiet time with yourself now is the time to do it! Maybe even think about a place you have been wanting to travel to and buy a plane ticket to visit.
Boosting your confidence and happiness is essential here. Changing your look not only by working out but spoil yourself and get a new outfit when you go out and paint the town red! Maybe even get a new haircut and buy a new cologne or perfume! Do what makes you happy and what will lift your confidence to put a smile on your face so you don’t feel sad anymore.
The difference between someone who can get back with their ex and stop being sad after a breakup rather than someone else who will always stay in the past and not grow is the ability to create a good frame. So from Monday – Sunday you should always focus on every action that I give you so you can see sustainable results, release your negative emotions, and show your ex that you have changed for good. Remember, the actions are what is always going to be the most powerful result when your ex is looking for a change. That’s why it is essential to plan it and stick to it every single day. I invite you to comment on this article and share with the community you plan of action and what you will do next to move forward and not be sad.
We have written an eBook that will help you to do this by using keys to personal reconstruction post-breakup. In this eBook, I explain in detail the actions to set into motion so that you can lift your head back up after this emotional shock and do not suffer from suddenly being single. You’re therefore going to be able to move forward peacefully and avoid making common mistakes. If you feel like you need more guidance after reading this article, I invite you to contact me for a private coaching session so we can get you on track to be the best person you can possibly be!
Best wishes,
Your coach for knowing how to stop being sad about a breakup.
Adrian
