It goes without saying that if you accept the decision of the person that is now your ex, putting things into perspective will be enough to make you naturally be able to move on, maybe even with someone new, once the shock has worn off. But it isn’t always that simple to overcome a breakup, especially when your feelings for the person are still very much present.
Fights keep ruining your day, and you don’t know what to do. Your partner has decided to either break up or to take a break, and your plan of action will have to be based on the specifics of this decision. You will need to adapt to your ex’s attitude towards the situation.
You have to know how to analyze the situation!
We’ve compiled a guide based on all the different types of rough patches that people can go through before a breakup. I invite you to read it by following this link if you’d like to better understand what your ex was feeling not only at the moment he or she decided to break up with you, but before it as well, starting from the moment the tensions started to rise or to simply move on after a breakup.
Understanding the breakup and the mistakes
Once you’ve been able to precisely identify the cause of your ex’s unhappiness, I suggest that you reflect on your errors in order to understand this determining element in being able to get over a breakup and move forward : “Why did you act the way you did in your relationship?”
Understanding your errors is the first step, and is of utmost importance because this is how you will be able to define solutions to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. The goal of working on yourself is to be able to constructively criticize, to objectively analyze your relationship, and to understand what actions need to be carried out when maintaining a healthy relationship. All of this will help you get over the heartbreak.
You can make all the promises you want, but if your ex sees no tangible change in your own life as well as in terms of him or her, it will be close to impossible to draw their attention to the new and improved you.
Understanding the breakup involves being able to show your ex empathy. This proves to him or her that you are capable of putting yourself in their shoes, and that you can understand the hurt or unhappiness they felt while you were still together.
A few tips to move on after a breakup
Understanding the separation is the first step of moving forward. I completely understand that you want to get back together with your ex as soon as possible, so that you can stop hurting, and so that you can find happiness again. Even though there is no miracle solution, through my professional experience, I have seen that if you want your ex to take you back, there aretips and actions that work even in the most extreme situations. The goal is as much to have no regrets as it is to make your ex react.
The most important piece of advice is to make sure that you are never neglecting yourself. By this I mean, make sure to not carry out actions only based on your ex’s needs, your ex’s expectations, your ex’s desires, etc. Don’t try to force them to come back in the name of “your feelings and your relationship,” but rather try to understand what your ex wants by taking into consideration his or her analysis of your relationship.
The goal is therefore to avoid making mistakes, never pushing your ex, and always remaining calm. You have to start working on getting your ex back by truly reconstructing yourself, and by maintaining a stable lifestyle that will ensure that you’re shown to your advantage when you two start communicating again.
Avoid ‘double penalty’ when trying to move on after a breakup
On top of the breakup, your ex is applying a principal that I call “double-penalty.” He or she is also acting as if you don’t exist; something that is especially hard when you used to be the center of their universe. It’s important that you don’t react brashly, fueled by emotion, because this will lead to errors that can worsen the situation.
You will need to do quite the opposite. Even if your ex has decided to no longer speak to you, to show you that he or she hates you, there is still something very effective that you can do. It’s called “Radio Silence,” and it consists of creating distance between you that is essential if you want to regain control of the situation, in order to start a new form of seduction between you two. To learn more about this method, you can read more here.
The more you chase after your ex, trying everything you can to make him or her want to talk to you again, the more you’re going to make them want to run away. But if you try RS, you’ll have a chance to take the time to work on yourself, and well as to figure out a plan of action to find the best way to eventually have a cordial and positive exchange between you and your ex.
How will my ex come back?
Your ex has decided to break up, but he or she continues to write to you, to talk to you, to want to see you, or even to be jealous!
How do you explain this behavior?
You have to understand that a person who makes the decision to leave is unhappy in the relationship but this doesn’t mean that the situation is irreversible! You will see that oftentimes, by following my philosophy, you will be fully capable of regaining control of your life, and proving it to your ex, so that their entire outlook will change.
Are you wondering why exes tend to come back when you’re starting to feel better? Let me ask you something else, “Have you ever succeeded in seducing someone while sobbing and badgering them…?” Obviously not. So why would it be the case now, when you’re trying to get back together with your ex? Do you see where I’m going with this? If you’re not convinced, I suggest a coaching session!
You should know that your ex will always return because of these two reasons: A. You’ve been able to make him or her feel guilty as you’ve understood your mistakes and have been able to rectify them, or B. He or she is afraid of losing the person you are today, because in you are ideal in their eyes.
Where do you see yourself? Don’t hesitate to leave me a comment, and I will happily answer you!
Your coach to move on after a breakup