“The pain you feel during a breakup is similar to what we feel when we are mourning.” When I read this sentence taken from a scientific study, I realized that my job as a coach specialized in helping people get back with their ex back could change the lives of many people.
Through my studies and experience I have been able to help thousands of people to bring about tangible change, and to build their self-confidence, so that their ex may see their evolution. My main role in your endeavor is to teach you effective techniques in order to define the basis of how you can quickly bounce back after a break up to try to successfully get back together with your ex.
Since 2007 all the breakups that we have seen have allowed me to work on elaborating analysis. I’ve come across a wide variety of issues, and I’ve understood that each relationship is unique its own way. Nevertheless, it’s possible to categorize the different ways to get back together with an ex.
If today you’re here searching for a way to make your ex come back to you after a painful breakup, this article was written for you!
For example, the length of a relationship is very important. If you were together for less than a year, the guidelines will be completely different from those who were in a relationship that has lasted for a much longer time. The emotions and the attachments aren’t at the same stage of evolvement. The depth of the emotions reached isn’t the same, and this is something very important to keep in mind.
Similarly, getting back together with your other half requires different actions based on different criteria; such as age, experience, children involved, as well as many other important aspects. A coach needs to be aware of certain intricacies of your relationship: Are you still in contact with your ex? Have you already tried some of our methods with the hope of getting your ex back? Does the love of your life avoid communication with you or do they still keep in touch despite their decision to leave?
My experience has enabled me to develop a specific strategy for any situation, including yours. It’s extremely important, even imperative, that you begin your attempt at getting back together by analyzing what went wrong. Thanks to this step, I can assure you that it is possible to rebuild any relationship; even the most shattered ones!
I will explain to you, with as much detail as possible, what your ex’s mindset is after the breakup, and what actions you will be able to set in motion to make them come back to you.
Don’t forget to leave a comment on this article, and to share it on social media so that it may reach people in need, that find themselves in the same situation as you. This could give them a helping hand in bouncing back from a breakup.
What does my ex feel when we are breaking up?
The very first step to bounce back from a breakup is understanding where you stand. On one hand, you’ll have to explore your ex’s shocking decision, and on the other hand, you’ll have to explore their emotions at that precise moment. A separation has to be examined from multiple angles, and even the seemingly most insignificant one is important. This is why you shouldn’t leave anything to chance.
My ex decided to break up
This is the most common situation. You just went through a break up that either came as a surprise to you, or maybe you were expecting it. For now, let’s not focus on your emotions, but rather those of your ex.
Deciding to break up and telling your partner isn’t easy for anyone! Everyone thinks that it’s easier for the person who decided to breakup, but that’s not necessarily the case.
I’ll probably surprise you by saying this but your ex is the person that is SUFFERING THE MOST, and they were the one suffering the most in your relationship. I wrote that in capital letters because it is essential to realize. You have to take into consideration how your ex felt if you want to prove that you know them better than anyone.
So your ex was suffering in your relationship, and their reaction was a sort of survival instinct. The decision to break up ALWAYS arrives when a person is no longer happy. Depending on how much a person can take, weeks or maybe even years may go bye before the breakup eventually happens.
Survival instinct pushes an ex to make a brash decision that you can’t always comprehend. For instance, your ex can lose their temper and cut all ties with you, when just a few days ago they were still saying “I love you.”
Try not to immediately react or else you’ll end up suffocating the person you love. The best thing to do is to gently take your distance:
1. Don’t ask any more questions!
2. Don’t look to be reassured; no more “I love yous!”
3. Don’t call or text them unless it’s something important (and external)!
I decided to break up
I often have people come to me saying, “I decided to break up because I was unhappy.I wanted to get a reaction from my ex but now I’m the one running after them.”
In this case your ex is thinking something totally different. They’re wondering how the person that they loved could betray them and decide to throw it all away like this?
Your ex is feeling a lot of uncertainty, but also losing confidence. This is another example of a situation in which you have the tendency to suffocate them, because you regret your decision. Something that I try hard to avoid is allowing an inversed dependence to come to life, because this results in undesirable actions.
In order to understand this principal, it’s imperative that you read this piece. Instead of obviously and desperately try to make your ex take you back immediately, focus on your post-breakup actions. For example, I suggest that you write your ex a letter with the goal of making them come back. Be clear and concise, and don’t underestimate the importance of this move.
Yes, it’s possible to get back together after a separation!
Together we will explore your ex’s state of mind. It is therefore time to get a better understanding of the actual breakup in order to plant a seed of doubt in your ex’s mind regarding their decision.
In each and every person’s attempt at getting back together with an ex, one of the first steps is always to make your ex doubt. By doing so you will have made your fist move towards restoring what was lost.
In order to create this doubt, it’s imperative that your construct a reliable plan. While on vacation, you wouldn’t set out to your destination in an unknown place without a GPS or a good roadmap, right? So do the same thing with the person you care so much about, because you don’t want to lose them.
Ok I’m exaggerating a little bit, but when you want to get back together with your ex, you need to be patient and to properly plan your actions. You’re not going to get anywhere by shutting your eyes and repeating to your ex over and over “I love you, you’re the love of my life, you’re my everything….”
So now it’s time to think about the right thing to say to your ex! I’ll go into that a little later for those that don’t understand what I mean.
Let’s go back to the main point here; planting a seed of doubt in your ex’s mind after a painful breakup. In order to do so, you’ll have to ask yourself two very obvious questions that your ex is wondering:
-Why didn’t you make this effort before?
-How can I be sure that you won’t continue to make the same mistakes?
This is what I call “the Future vs. the Past following a breakup.” Your ex needs to be reassured, so you’ll have to prove that you’ve understood your mistakes, and that you’re ready and willing to make a valiant effort to right wrongs and to rebuild an even better and stronger relationship.
If you can adequately answer these two questions, then convincing your ex to get back together will be a piece of cake…
What I do as a coach is to help every single one of you to TRULY UNDERSTAND your ex, and to plant a seed of doubt in their mind by PROVING that you’re their ideal partner, because life without you just won’t be the same.
So now do you see any reason why your ex wouldn’t want to get back with you? No, right?
That means you’ve got irrefutable proof that getting your ex back is completely possible!
What your ex will NEVER refuse! (Well, almost never!)
Of course I couldn’t end this article without telling you about something that you can always get out of your ex.
I said, “almost never” because 90% of the time, an ex won’t deny you certain things. But if you don’t follow my guidelines properly and you’re set on getting back in touch with your ex too quickly, it’s highly likely that you’ll fall into the trap of the “don’ts” of getting back with an ex. A person is never indifferent after a love story, and you will have the opportunity to once again communicate with your ex. Breaking up doesn’t automatically mean that everything you shared is lost.
On the other hand, your ex isn’t going to go out of their way to get in contact with you right now, but these are things you deserve nonetheless:
An explanation about the separation!
If you hear “It’s not you; it’s me,” or even, “You haven’t done anything wrong,” know that your ex is thinking exactly the opposite. By reading my articles, you’ll learn how you can easily obtain an explanation, but in order to do so, you’ll have to understand your ex’s expectations.
Despite the breakup, with time, most exes calm down and anger dissipates. You’ll then be able to focus on personal CHANGES that you’ll prove to your ex, and not on what you feel for them.
If upon reading this article you begin to give your ex space, and you avoid blowing up their phone or their email, you don’t ask them for anything and you make no attempt to contact with them, there is no reason why your ex wouldn’t pay attention to you in the future.
Know that it’s always possible to get back together with an ex. The majority of people succeed, and know that you’re 90% in control of the outcome. The right actions will change your ex’s state of mind, and will lead to an even more magical reunion!
If there’s one thing you should take from this article, know how important it is to understand the breakup. If you step into your ex’s shoes, it’ll be infinitely easier to know how to put the pieces back together. In order to get back together with the one you love in the quickest and most effective way possible, you must understand their reactions and their emotions. Do this and your ex will forget the breakup and you’ll reignite the flame that burned within.
Don’t close this page quite yet! Below, you can write a comment or question regarding your story, and I’ll be more than happy to reply. It could enable me to also give you a personalized feedback on how to get back together with your ex-partner!
If you can’t wait, you can of course take a look at our eBook. Here you can learn about post-breakup solutions. In any case, I wish you the very best! Good luck in your endeavor to get back with the one you love.
Your relationship expert to quickly bounce back after a breakup,