I know it comes as no news to you, but breakups are tough. You feel like you’ve just been hit by a truck carrying all sorts of emotions that keep washing over you in waves. When will this end? You can’t sleep, you’ve lost your appetite, and you probably just want to hole up by yourself in your room. The pain you’re feeling right now seems to cast a shadow on all elements of your life, but I’m here to tell you that it’s all temporary.
There are plenty of things that you can start doing today so that you can begin to bounce back from this ordeal. Whether you want your ex back or not, I’ve written this article on break up help to show you how to take the first steps towards breakup recovery and you’ll start feeling better in no time! The key, as you’re going to see is, is going to be proactivity.
This means that you’re going to have to fight the temptation to sulk and isolate yourself, eating pints of ice cream. Fortunately, I see that you’re on this site right now and this means that you’ve already taken matters into your own hands! You’re already on the right track…
Getting through a breakup one step at a time
Many people contact me in regards to what to do when going through a breakup. Many people have never experienced such acute pain before, and they are looking for tools to help them get through this tying period.
I remember speaking to someone a few years back who told me that she felt like she had been taken off life support when her ex pulled the plug on their relationship.
Regardless of how long two people were together, if the relationship was special in your eyes, losing it comes as a shock. It doesn’t matter if you had been seeing the signs that your relationship was teetering on the brink of falling apart, when it actually happens, you feel like you’re gasping for breathe.
So what can you do to get through it?
The first thing I would suggest doing is switching up your living space. You’re probably surrounded by things that remind you of your ex right now, and there is something to be said for the expression, “Out of sight, out of mind.”
Box up all the things that make you think of him or her, and you can decide later whether or not you want to throw this box away. Just get these things out of your sight for now. I would also encourage you to reorganize your future and freshen things up. Giving yourself a new environment can do wonders right now.
When it comes to getting over a breakup, the best thing to do is to focus on introducing new things into your life right now. You don’t want to be dwelling on the past; you want to be focusing on new, fresh elements. Think about what kind of new activities you could start trying out.
Have you ever thought about picking up boxing or yoga? Maybe even surfing? Think about physical exercise because not only is it a wonderful way to boost your ego that has surely taken a hit after this breakup, it gets your endorphins and serotonin (the “feel-good chemicals”) flowing, and it gives you more energy to go out and do things.
Getting through a breakup doesn’t happen overnight, but there are things that you can do to speed up the process. For example, now it the prefect time to start thinking about what passions and hobbies you put on the back burner while you were with your ex.
What things that you love to do did you stop doing because the relationship started becoming the center of your universe? What people that brought you joy in the past did you lose touch with?
Now is the time to get back in touch with these people, to pick up your old hobbies, and start dedicating ample time to them.
In addition to doing so, if you want to know how to overcome a breakup, think about what new activities you can incorporate into your life as well. Invite your friends to try out new bars and restaurants with you, be open to meeting new friends as well, and step out of your comfort zone.
I understand that your ex was your comfort zone and right now you’re feeling vulnerable, but challenging yourself to have new experiences and switch up your surroundings will give you a breathe of much needed fresh air.
How to get over a bad breakup by loving yourself
A problem that I often come across in my coaching sessions with people who ask me for break up help is that they feel like they were broken up with because they aren’t good enough and that they aren’t worthy of love. Like I mentioned above, the ego can take a serious hit when you go through a breakup.
While you’re working on getting over a bad breakup, the goal should always be Well Being. Make sure that you aren’t turning to quick fixes right now that damage your long term well being.
For example, going out, partying and waking up hungover every day is not going to help you reach your personal and professional goals that are going to give you a deeper sense of satisfaction.
Instead, focus on giving yourself goals that you can work towards on a daily basis. Where do you want to see yourself professionally in one year? So where would you need to be in six months? What about in one month?
Start working on things that make you feel proud of yourself and remind you that you are in control of your life.
One of the best tips for getting over a breakup I can give you is to focus on goals. You can also start by giving yourself little goals on a daily basis.
Think about how you can make another person smile. Oftentimes, when a person is feeling miserable, one of the best things to do is think about doing something nice for those around you.
It can be as simple as a smile as someone behind the cash register in a store. Think about who could benefit from your presence right now. Do you have a family member that you could spend more time with?
You can also think about combining seeing people with one of your passions. For example, if you love baking, why not make a fresh batch of cookies and go surprise your grandma with them? If you want to take it a step further, and I highly recommend doing so, think about sharing some of your time with a charity.
It could be with the homeless, with the elderly, or even helping out at a local animal shelter. It’s important to think about how we can help others, especially when we are feeling like we could benefit from some tenderness as well.
Yes, it’s tough right now because you’re hurting, but it’s up to you to learn valuable lessons and use them to improve every day from here on out. In a breakup, you can transform into a 2.0 version of yourself!
When everything is going well, it’s quite hard to learn how to make yourself a better person and partner. You aren’t being confronted with anything that’s forcing you to grow, so nothing changes. When you experience a shock like a breakup, everything gets shaken up. Interestingly enough, sometimes things need to be shaken up so that they can fall back into place in the right way.
How to overcome breakups: Focus on happiness
This challenging period should be taken as a huge opportunity. You have been given valuable lessons and a big push to make some big changes that are going to benefit you for the rest of your life.
Your happiness depends on no one other than yourself, even though we tend to forget this sometimes. While you’re in a relationship, it’s normal to lose sight of the things that used to make you happy.
Your ex may have become the center of your universe, and you’ve found that you might have lost yourself along the way. This is nothing to be ashamed of; it happens to people all the time.
When you take all that energy and turn it into something positive, you’ll begin to feel more and more in control, and you will start feeling better and better. Work to actively dedicate time and energy to your short term and long terms goals, and make the effort to make other people happy in the process.
If you’re looking for how to become happy after a breakup, just remember that even if you do one random act of kindness a day, and focus on making concrete improvements to your life, you’ll see that you’ll begin to feel better.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach for how to recover from a breakup
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!