Have you fallen in love with a friend or even worse with your best friend? It happens so frequently, you are or have been friends with someone for as long as you can remember only to one day wake up to realize that you have strong feelings for them. Or is it that you have fallen in love with your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s friend which puts you in another predicament all together!
These types of situations can be very complex and uncomfortable to navigate often times leaving you with no one to speak with. This is why we have decided to land a helping hand and come to you rescue here. In this article we will explore how to best transition from friendship to commitment as well give you tips and advice to ensure that you are not left hanging once your friend finally discovers that you have feelings for them.
Do not purposely become friends with someone you have feelings for!
If you have identified someone that you have crush on do not attempt to become their friend with the hope of then transitioning to their lover. Many people make this mistake only to find that they have just even more difficult to approach their new friend and come clean about their feelings for them in order to make the transition from friendship to commitment. Although you will surely become closer to the person that you have feelings for, you are in essence shifting the perspective but often increasing the challenge of winning over their heart.
It can be quite a complicated situation to be in and often time friends will feel as though you cannot be serious about the feelings that you have for them or even worse not be eligible in their mind because you are simply their friend and nothing more. To complicate matters friends will often speak to you about their love life in general or frustrations they may have with their partner. This puts you in a delicate situation where you are trying to give them genuinely sounds and solid advice because you deeply care for them while at the same time knowing deep down that you wouldn’t be unhappy if they were to break up with their partner and all of sudden become single!
Let’s be clear it is not impossible to transition from friendship to commitment, to win over the heart of someone who considers you their friend. Based on our experience however and whenever you have the choice, we simply recommend that you not put yourself in this predicament as we know firsthand that this can be a delicate situation that can create additional stress in the process of trying to seduce someone you have affection for.
Introducing a touch of romance in the relationship
The first and necessary step to change how a friend might see or feel about you and thus to move from friendship to commitment is to slowly introduce touches of romance and intimacy into your verbal communication, body language and relationship with them. You do not have to come out and say to someone that you are seeking to be closer to them on an emotional and sensual realm in order for them to feel this need. This can be done in various ways, for example a subtle compliment while looking deep into their eyes might trigger their radar and help shift your image in their subconscious and thus associate you with something more than a just a simple friend on the surface.
Another good way to convey sensuality and desire is through direct physical contact, putting your hand on top of theirs for a few seconds, linking arms while walking down the street, or even better by giving a woman a soft foot massage or a shoulder rub to a man. By using body language in this way, you will plant a seed in their head and enable them to start imagining a world in which you are more than friends, even if just very briefly. As such you will open the door to the possibility of having intimacy at a level that is beyond friendship, which is one of the initial steps to transitioning from friendship to commitment!
Finally if you feel comfortable enough and depending on the specificity of your situation as we will see later, feel free to invite them out on a date either in a nice romantic venue or to even cook a nice and out of the ordinary type of dinner for them at your house. If all goes according to plan the creation of a different atmosphere could decisively shift the relationship from friendship to a sexual encounter and eventually to one of love, passion and emotional attachment.
Weighing the risk reward of opening up
No matter what, after a while the friend that you have strong feelings for will have pretty good grasp on the way that you feel about them; it is after all the message that we are trying to convey by introducing romance to your relationship with them. Very rarely however will they confront you about it. They simply will wait for to cross that bridge or make the first move. They may be too uncomfortable, not want to put you on the spot or simply unsure of how to react even if they do indeed also have feelings for you!
It is at this point that you have to weigh the risk reward of coming clean about your feelings either boldly through a direct act showcasing your love, through words, or even via a hand written letter. If you found yourself in a place where the moment felt right with the person that you love and your intuition told you to lean in for a kiss because you felt compelled too or because you sense that he or she was looking for you to make this leap of faith; then we would highly recommend that you follow your gut and indeed make that leap of faith.
If you do not feel comfortable enough or still unsure about the way in which they we react, we highly recommend that you go with the option of the hand written letter to divulge your feelings. This old school but deeply personal method of communication is a symbol of authenticity and provides a personal yet romantic touch that can often times trigger positive results when carried out the right way and enable you to transition from friendship to commitment.
If they are in a relationship
A situation can occur when you fall in love with a friend who still happens to be in a relationship. Sometimes you do not know their significant other but often times you may know their lover as well or even worse be close with both which only complicates matters further. We advise tremendous caution in expressing your love in these types of situation as they can be especially tricky to maneuver even if you feel that the person that you love happens to love you back.
The best way forward, at least the path that we recommend in such cases is to be especially patient and to wait for your turn sort of speak, and let their relationship unravel before making your move. Even if you do not know their significant other, the best way to show your love is to be there for him or her when they seek your ear or a shoulder to cry on. Keep a positive attitude and be their escape or their breath of fresh air by bringing them good energies and by taking them on fun and refreshing outings. That is the best way to ensure that you will be dear to them and stay close to their heart!
Transitioning from friendship to relationship is achievable!
If you fall in love with a friend always remember that it is possible for you to shift this relationship into a romantic one. You already have their trust and they most likely truly enjoy your company if they are your friend. Furthermore you also have a distinct advantage as you will have in depth knowledge about their likes and dislikes, which always make it easier to win over one’s heart.
Remember that the first step should be to slowly introduce a romantic element to the relationship and to connect with them both on an emotional but also sensual level. Wait for the right moment and when you feel like they are receptive to your signals and have a good feeling about the way that they feel about you, do not hesitate to move the relationship forward.
If you happen to skip steps and be engaged in regular sexual intercourse with your friend, be sure to let them know the way that you feel about them as early as possible, and that you are not interested in being a “fuck buddy”. If he is truly your friend and is engaged with you in regular sexual intercourse, then he should have no issues in giving you the commitment that you are seeking once you have put your cards on the table and expressed your love for him or her.
Your coach, here to help you transition from friendship to commitment,