Going on a first date can be somewhat tricky, not really knowing what the guy sitting across from you is all about, hoping that the two of you will be able to connect, to avoid awkward silences and that conversation will flow naturally. When the date does happen to be going well, and you start to imagine a future with the guy that you are with, you then could start to over think about how you can convey to the guy what you are hoping for or to get out of the date. Stress no more, we are here to help!
Whether you are looking to settle into a long term relationship, hoping to just get as single night of pleasure out of a good time out followed by a one night stand, or even if you are looking for a “fuck buddy” to have occasional casual sex with no strings attached, we will share with you the best way to ensure that you get out of the dating experience exactly what you so desire, by learning how to tell a guy what you are looking for on the first date!
How to tell a guy that you are looking for a long term relationship
A lot of women find themselves facing the issue of not being able to communicate their needs and desires to men when looking for a long and stable relationship. If you happen to be in this situation, you may have encountered men who do not want to commit or even may have had a bad experience or two with a guy who wasn’t up front about is true intentions. Such past experiences could have left some scars and make you pause the next time you mean a man with whom you have genuine intentions of potentially being in a committed relationship.
Our expert advice in this case is the following; First ensure that the guy that you are on a date with fits a certain profile that you are into or that he has certain attributes or sets of values that could fit with who you are and the type of relationship that you are looking for in order not to waste your time and his. Dating takes a partner and be mindful not to hurt his feelings if you can along the way too.
Secondly, once you feel like there could be a potential match, don’t be afraid to tell him directly and unequivocally that you are strictly looking to find a potential life partner or at the very least someone looking to settle down. You could tell him this during the first date or at a later time but before the first hook up. The point here is only to plant a seed in his mind about where you hope that this encounter will go.
Lastly you must ensure that you not have sex with him until you have a sense of commitment; by that we mean the assurance or feeling that you are already in a committed relationship with him. If you continuously go on dates with someone, the longer you wait before having sex and the better your chances will be that the story will end in a commitment on his part. As such, time will work in your favor during “the chase” or the period leading up to the commitment, and then to the first sexual intercourse. Furthermore before the two of you connect on a sensual level, you will have been able to connect on an emotional level, while laying the proper foundation for a relationship for years to come; one where you are able to be intimate without sex, and create a space for feelings to rapidly flourish.
When looking for a one night stand
If you happen to be looking for a one night stand, the trick is usually being able to go above and beyond social norm and stigma that can often time be associated with women looking to engage in a single night sexual encounter. It is perfectly understandable for women, just like men, to have the desire to engage in a sexual act with someone that they may have an attraction too or simply for the fun or to relieve stress.
When you happen to be on a date with a guy that you happen to want to spend the night with, we suggest that you activate certain triggers that will arouse him or open his sexual appetite. This can be done through the touch; making physical contact by putting your hand on top of his or slowly rubbing you thighs against his under the table. A sexual connection can also be made by giving a brief but intense look into his eyes or again by speaking about sex, sexuality or sexual subjects.
After having planted that seed in his mind, your next goal will be to make him as comfortable as possible and to extend the night past a simple dinner. You could even suggest going for a walk after the meal, going to a bar or even offering him to go back to your place for a drink. From there, the best way to communicate is through actions, make sure that you provide him with the opportunity to make a move to start being intimate.
If the two of you happen to spend the night together and wake up in the same bed, make sure to tell him that you had a fun night but that you are not looking to engage into any sort of commitment. We assure you that more times than not, the guy will not protest and he will simply be happy to have gotten lucky the previous night!
When looking for a “fuck buddy”
If you are on a date and happen to think that the person sitting across from you would make for a great sexual partner, one that you can engage with in casual encounters with no strings attached as you are not looking for commitment, your overall attitude should be similar to the one described above in the section on “one night stand”.
The difference here is that in the days following the “hook up” you will send sexy late night messages to the guy. Furthermore, once you feel the need and desire to engage in another sexual encounter you will ask him to come over to your place on short notice while stating that it is for this very purpose.
Only after the second or even third intercourse should you speak to him about your desire to keep this an open sexual relationship between the two of you with no strings attached. Don’t expect the guy to put up any resistance as most men would dream of finding a woman like you, ready to explore her sexual desires while not looking for any types of commitment. We must warn you however to be truly careful as many “fuck buddies” end up becoming jealous and positive over one another or even dating in the end. In that sense we do not recommend you go past a certain time frame that you will have for yourselves. Once this expiration date has arrived, don’t look back or continue at your own peril!
Your coach, here to tell you how to communicate with a guy on the first date,