If you been cheated on you realize how painful that can be. Yet things can get even worse if you have been cheated on and dumped by your significant other in the days or weeks after finding out that the person that you love was unfaithful.
In most cases it’s not simply your ego taking a hit. You experience a feeling of deep loss or even that of being totally destroyed. Yet despite all of the pain that your ex has caused, you still find yourself wanting to get back with them!
In this article we will tell you how to go about it; we will provide you with advice to make sure that you can not only get back together but also rebuild a solid foundation for a new and healthy relationship with your ex
Understand what pushed your ex to cheat
The first essential question that you will need to try to find an answer too is why your ex cheated? Were they unhappy in your relationship? Did you fail to provide them with the attention that they were seeking? Or were you too overbearing and pushed them away? Was it a simple mistake that they regretted or was it going on for a long period of time and if so why?
After all the anger and disappointment have somewhat settled you will need to understand the real reasons why your ex decided to cheat on you. If he or she told you why they did it, don’t settle for their explanation and try to dig deeper into the matter after a period of self-reflection and introspection.
In order to move forward and turn a new leaf you will need to be at peace with yourself and your decision to stay or even pursue your ex. Furthermore once you have been able to understand the real reasons why they cheated, you will eventually become a better and more self-aware counterpart to the one you love, even if the fault was entirely theirs.
Take some time and distance to rebuild your self-confidence
In the days following the breakup, whether if it was your decision or theirs, you will probably feel down and perhaps even depressed. This can be explained by the fact that you have in essence lost someone that was dear to you; this feeling of absence added to the fact that your trust was broken, can have a significant impact on your moral and ability to function on the day to day.
You must really consider putting a radio silence in place in order to regain some perspective about your relationship, and give you and your ex time away from each other to ultimately come out stronger. It’s very easy to get caught up in what happened and to commit mistakes out of anger or simply out of shock.
Taking some distance will also enable your ex to miss you and realize that life without you isn’t necessarily more enjoyable. If you are strong enough to not reach out to them for a given period of time you will maximize your chances to rebuild your confidence and self-worth. You can do this by setting small daily goals and realizing that you can achieve anything that you set your mind too.
Forgive to get back with your ex after having been cheated on
In order to get back with your ex in a healthy relationship that has a chance to be successful in the long run, you will need to truly forgive your ex; the reconciliation process starts there. Way too often people seek to get back with their ex although they have not forgiven them for the mistakes that they have made. The issue with this approach is that once problems arise in the (not so distant) future, all these past issues will resurface and pollute the relationship once again. Sweeping negative emotions under the rug simply won’t work if you are hoping to build a long lasting relationship.
After a breakup anger, pain and resentment can eventually turn into compassion, understanding and forgiveness. It can be a lot easier to move on if your ex has apologized for their actions and wrongdoings. But even if they are still with the person that they cheated on you with and feel absolutely no remorse, it will be essential for you to forgive them if you hope to win them back into your life.
You need to find it within your heart and come to terms with the fact that you are looking to get back with them; so you still love them. Love entails compassion and forgiveness. It is going to be extremely difficult to put a successful gameplan in place to win back their heart otherwise!
Don’t speak about the other person or past mistakes
Once you have forgiven them, we will go even further and ask you to almost wipe out your previous relationship from your mind. In essence you will need to move forward as if you did not have any of the negative baggage from your previous relationship in order to create a new and improved relationship with your ex.
You will seek to seduce them like you did the first time around. After you reestablished communication with your ex, you will tell them that you have forgiven them and that you are simply looking to move forward on good terms. That’s another reason why it is essential for you to really have forgiven them because it will be difficult to fake it once you start speaking with them again.
After you have reestablished a healthy communication flow, you will look to try to rebuild intimacy and the connection that you both once shared. Use inside jokes or little traits from the past that can recreate a bond through humor, sexual desire for one another or both. Even if you are broken up odds are that you are still deeply physically attracted to each other and you can use this to your advantage to re-kindle with your ex!
You will need to keep all communications positive and look to never argue and even look to prevent any types of conflict situations. By acting in such a way, you will start to plant a seed of doubt in their mind as they will question the decision of not being together. If you are able to follow this simple game plan the odds are greatly in your favor; you will most likely ultimately be able to not only get back with your ex, but also start a new and improved relationship.
One last piece of advice; don’t ever bring up the person with whom they cheated on you with or even the fact that they did cheat on you. By doing so you will only build negativity, and push them right back into the hands of that very person and also lose credibility. Basically you would be shooting yourself in the foot. The best course of action is to pretend like it never happened after you have dealt with the issue during the initial phase of reflection!
Please realize that you can get back with your ex even after having been cheated on and broken up. In order to do so, you will need to display compassion and forgiveness but also be patient and willing to start an entirely new relationship; look to break away from mistakes made in the past by both you and your ex.
If you have any experience in trying to get back with an ex after having been cheated on, please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section below. Your insights will provide other readers with added perspective and other real life experiences that will enable them to reach their own personal goals.
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