So many people are now on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or some other form of social media platform. Human relationships have taken a virtual element to them and many people interact with their friends or socially more on the web than they do in person. When a breakup happens you are forced to deal with it via those online platforms as they serve as an extension of who you are.
It can be very difficult to cope with a breakup in general but also challenging to face this new reality when looking back on your social media page or when going online. Are you supposed to take down all of your ex’s pictures? Do you block them or unfriend them? Is it possible to use social media to get back with your ex?
In this article we will provide you with tips and insights in order for you to use your social media platforms and habits to your advantage in order to quickly rebound from a breakup and even get back with your ex.
A different type of communication platform
If you have spoken with one of our coaches during one on one sessions you most probably have heard us use the term “platform of communication” when it comes to getting back with an ex.
It is very important to maintain certain channels of communication open with your ex in order to showcase your change of behavior or evolution; however you must be really careful not to let your emotions overwhelm you and do, say or react in a way that will make you lose credibility in your ex’s eyes.
In that sense social media is really a double edged sword as it can be the ultimate platform to show to your ex that you have changed and make them miss you; or you can let the information flow overwhelm you and be too passive to make the shifts that are necessary to re-seduce the one you love.
Which path will you choose to take?
Don’t be too needy
The biggest mistake that most people make in the days following a breakup is being too needy and not giving their ex the time and space they need to gain perspective on the relationship and its recent events.
You want to be back with your ex right away and you look to convince them that this separation is a big mistake. So you chase them and put yourself in demand which ultimately will leave you with less credibility as well as be less appealing in your ex’s eyes.
Do not let social media play you a disservice in that regard; don’t be fooled by the ease of access or this constant channel of communication to your ex always available. You need to be really strong and resist the urge to contact them. Your ex needs time to reflect and live through their decision to breakup. In most cases not contacting them through social media in the first few days after a breakup is a good start when hoping to use social media to get back with your ex.
If you are unable to resist the urge we suggest that you either block your ex entirely on the different platforms where you run the risk of engaging with them or that you stay off of social media all together for at least the first 10 days following a breakup. Moving away from social media all together can be a last resort effort if your emotions are simply too overwhelming to bare. You can always unblock your ex latter!
Don’t spy on your ex
No matter what you will need to stray away from the temptation of monitoring their every move on their page. After a breakup the less you go looking into your ex’s life for updates the better it will be for you.
Simply put you are not ready to see your ex as a single individual. You run the risk of misinterpreting every post, photo or comment in a negative way. Your fear of losing them forever or of being alone will cause your brain and imagination to play tricks on you; you will always imagine the worst possible scenario. One way to protect yourself from this self-inflicting torture is to have the discipline to not check what they may or may not be doing.
Everyone always seems so happy and perfect on social media; seeing your ex appear to be happy will only cause stress and prevent you from doing the right things in order to quickly bounce back and be in a position to get back with the one you love.
Change your habits and show your evolution
You can use social media to get back with your ex if you take a smart approach and focus on being physically active and bringing about changes to your life in the real world. To put it in another way social media won’t help you heal or put the right foundation in place to get back with your ex; it will help you in ultimately being able to re-seduce them when the times come!
First you must focus on regaining confidence and a sense of self and not live in the past whether through your ex or past relationship. Not looking at old posts and pictures is recommended and will help you look forward.
Develop new hobbies and activities and look to stay as active as possible in your day to day. Stay busy and really try to change your outlook on life and to be more positive in general. You can post pictures or updates about the progress that you have made or when reaching goals that you have set for yourself.
If you are still friends with your ex on social media be sure not to overdo it when it comes to posting news, updates and pictures. Again you should really try to reduce your social media activity all together in order to focus your energy on the real world and live in the present moment.
Your ex needs to miss you and want to hear from you; the last thing you want to do is be the annoying person who detail the play by play of their entire life online!
Use social media to get back with your ex
Ultimately once you have regained self-esteem, when you will have become more positive, busy and active you should look to progressively re-engage with your ex. This can initially be done via social media. This will enable you not to have to confront your ex right away and to build a bit of suspense or engage in a game of seduction.
Talk to them about the changes that you have made in your life and the new activities that you have taken on. Never tell them that you miss them or put them on a pedestal; rather talk to them as equals, like you initially did before you started to date. You need to once again become a challenge for them while also showcase that you have now become the person that they always dreamed of being with.
Finally use social media to setup a face to face meeting. You will need to seal the deal in person as you need to be able to be physically with someone in order to take the next step. Use social media as the foundation to get back with your ex and as a communication tool to stay in touch and to flirt with your ex after that period of reconstruction.
For any specific questions that you may have when it comes to how to use social media to get back with your ex, or in a specific set of circumstances that you are faced with; simply leave a comment and a bit about what you are going through in the comments section below. I will be sure to get back to you personally.
Your coach to use social media to get back with your ex,
Adrian
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!