This is a subject that not many people discuss and yet it affects thousands of men and women: losing one’s partner, not necessarily to a breakup or to divorce, but to death. Contrary to what one might think, this doesn’t only happen to people in old age.
Younger people aged 30, 40, 50 can also experience this. Whether the cause was illness, an accident or anything else, we are all faced with loss. We can also talk about grieving the loss of a partner in terms of a separation when you want to surmount the pain you’re feeling.
This is one of the most painful experiences that exist, and it’s never easy to accept. Nevertheless, it is surmountable. It will require time so you shouldn’t think that a coach is going to provide you with a miracle within the span of just few days.
All the different people that I’ve helped, that have gone through this are the proof. By the way I would like to thank them, (most of them still visit my site,) for their courage. Bouncing back after such a difficult time requires perseverance and investment as well as determination, and this is why I insist on helping you to get through this.
You need support and you also need answers to all your questions. It’s important to overcome your uncertainties so that things don’t get worse. In this article we will discuss various questions that you may be asking yourself while grieving the loss of your partner.
Breaking up and mourning
Some of the men and women reading this article aren’t necessarily going through the grieving process in the classic sense of the term but rather are experiencing a particularly painful separation. They feel like their life won’t continue without their ex and that want to do whatever it takes to rebuild their relationship.
For some people it’s obvious that losing someone to a breakup isn’t comparable to losing someone to death, or at least that’s what they might think as long as they’ve got the person they love by their side.
I’m however going to take an extreme example from a coaching session I had a few years ago. A man that had been married to his wife and mother of his children for 20 years, left her from day to the next for someone younger and no longer made any contact.
Of course this man hadn’t passed away and his spouse wasn’t mourning his death, but she was mourning the death of their relationship, everything they had shared, and this is comparable to what widows and widowers experience.
You become sedentary, you see a psychologist after the breakup, you cry all day long, so there are similarities between the two situations. Nevertheless, it would be incorrect to state that you’re experiencing a definitive loss of the person you love. You have every right to feel upset and hurt but you also have a possibility that others don’t.
The process of getting back together can be adapted to your situation and you therefore have a chance of getting your partner back.
In terms of your emotions, what you’re feeling can resemble what widows and widowers can feel, and yet the techniques for bouncing back are not going to be exactly the same. You should NEVER think that you don’t have a chance at getting back together!
Grieving the loss of a partner and getting through the mourning period
This is a painful ordeal that you’re going through and it’s completely normal that you would have a tough time moving forward. If your partner had been battling a fatal disease and the doctors had told you that they only had X amount of time to live, you would have been able to begin mentally preparing for the shock.
Administrative documents, inheritance, financial issues or be what it may, you had had the time to “see it coming” so you would have been able to make the necessary preparations even if the last day together holds an amount of pain and heartache greater than you had ever imagined. Procedures can be long and trying, so it’s always preferable (if you have the opportunity of course) to take care of all of the forms and paperwork before you are faced with the grieving process.
Nevertheless, not all loss is foreseeable and some people don’t have the chance to anticipate certain types of situations. In order to mourn your ex partner without having various problems to fix, you shouldn’t hesitate to call a professional that can “act in your place,” advise you, and help you make sure that you waste no time. This isn’t a simple task, especially when you had been together for years and your ex had been taking care of everything administrative.
There is always the support of your loved ones. Under these circumstances, don’t be reticent about asking them for help and turn to them when you need to talk. You can also just focus on asking for assistance in terms of administrative procedures if you don’t feel like you want to share your feelings or confide in them.
In terms of what we are talking about today, solitude is your public enemy number one. Thinking that isolation is going to help you is a big mistake. In truth, if you lock yourself up in depression, you’ll make your friends and family feel useless in the end. Swallow your pride because no one is going to judge you!
In order to grieve the loss of a partner and not allowing sadness and their absence bring you down, you have to spend time with your loved ones. You of course are going to need time before you can fully bounce back but the goal is to reduce the amount you suffer throughout this process.
How to feel better after losing your partner?
I’m going to talk about solitude again, but a different form of it. I know that some of you will be reading this weeks or months after having lost your partner and that you’re experiencing certain roadblocks in terms of rebuilding your life.
First of all, you must understand that to move forward and meeting new people in no way shape or form means that you are disrespecting your ex’s memory. I’m not only talking in terms of romance; you can also create a new group of friends and expand your horizons.
Spending time with new people will get you out of your solitude and it will help you to move forward. Don’t just think ok, now I’m going to get remarried and start a new family. No, don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. It’s important that you understand that you can live life to the fullest from day to day without signing up for anything long-term, at least not for now.
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