A breakup can certainly conjure up feelings of doubt, depression, and an anger that’s hard to control. You’ve had to acknowledge obvious failure because when a person begins a serious relationship with someone, the idea is to stay together so it’s not a decision that is made lightly.
The more a person was hoping for the success of their relationship, the deeper the state of shock after a breakup can be. It is however possible to move on from it by following certain guidelines that you will find in this article. If you’ve just gone through a painful breakup and you’re feeling awful, you’ll quickly see exactly what you need to do.
Being in a state of shock after a breakup is common
There’s no real way to skip the emotional shock after a breakup.There is nothing pleasant about it and when you find yourself alone, you have a tendency to let self-doubt spiral out of control. Oftentimes the person who decided to end the relationship is in just as much pain as the person who has been left. It’s not uncommon for both sides to feel the same amount of sadness. A separation isn’t easy for anyone and you have to be aware of the fact that the person who decided to break up isn’t necessarily the “bad guy” (or girl) and can very well feel a serious amount of pain when the relationship ends.
It’s important to understand the origin of this sadness in order to be able to properly fight against the diverse effects it can have on you in the days, weeks, or even months following a separation. The more unexpected the breakup, the faster the heartache will arrive.
Being in a state of shock after a breakup is mainly linked to the fear of the unknown that starts the moment a breakup occurs; when the two people realize that they are now on their own. “Single” is the word that often strikes fear in the heart of the person that has been broken up with because they weren’t expecting to be in this situation.
But this isn’t the only reason. There are many others that can account for emotional shock and perhaps the fear of losing your family. By this I mean that people are often afraid that they won’t be able to see their children as often as they do now. Another common reason is the fear of never finding love again. It’s hard to imagine yourself in a new relationship when you’re freshly out of your last one. This is why it’s impossible to tell yourself right after a breakup that you’re going to meet someone with whom you’ll be even happier.
There is a common phenomenon that happens when a person is dealing with post-breakup emotional shock. They tend to idealize their previous partner. This type of behavior provokes emotional dependence so it is paramount to fight against it. It can be very destructive because it can make you feel worthless, and on top of that the person you love will push you even further away. When you show your emotional dependence to your ex-significant other, it places them in a position of power and they can end up feeling superior. This can result in even more rejection. Emotional dependence is not attractive at all and this is why it’s imperative to avoid being addicted to anyone!
In order to fight against post-breakup emotional shock, there are certain tools to use. These will help you avoid falling into depression that will have a negative effect on your every day life.
Overcoming emotional shock after the breakup
The more you’re able to take precautionary actions to fight against emotional shock after a breakup, the faster you’ll be able to bounce back from the heartache. You’ll be stronger and better equipped for stepping up and doing what needs to be done whether you want your ex back, or if you want to move on. In order to get over the emotional shock that follows a breakup, there are techniques with spectacular results that I often recommend. I don’t want to bore you with endless methods that might be irrelevant to your situation, so I’ve chosen to share three with you. These will help you to feel better after a breakup.
Severe ties during Post-breakup reconstruction
Whether you call it radio silence, cutting contact, or taking your distance, the first step for rebuilding yourself after a breakup and to get over emotional shock is to temporarily stop communication. This means that during a certain amount of time, you’ll have to avoid contact with your ex. Even if this is hard to do, it’s the only way to ensure that you’ll feel better faster.
Not only do you have to avoid contact with your ex, you also have to make sure you don’t answer them when they try to get in touch. People often ask me about using social media. My response is that as long as you’re not talking to them, you don’t have to delete your profiles. You also should refrain from looking at their Facebook page, liking their pictures, or posting statuses relating to what’s going on. In fact, the best thing to do to ensure you don’t get in touch with your ex is to stay off of social media for a while. If you’re on Facebook or Instagram the temptation to go see what your ex is up to will of course be strong. In order to rebuild yourself, you have to temporarily, but completely ignore your ex.
Even though this exercise isn’t simple (I know how much you want to) it’s imperative to resist the urge to make contact so that you can focus on stamping out any emotional dependence. The less contact you have the less you’ll think about the person.
Emotional shock after a breakup: The importance of loved ones
I’m always the first to say that when you’ve just gone through a breakup, you should not listen to advice from your loved ones. The reason is simply because they are biased and are most concerned with protecting you. Sometimes their own unsuccessful experiences influence their advice and it’s not relevant to your current situation. This is why it’s best to trust a professional who has mastered the art of understanding and analyzing love. Be careful when choosing your coach on matters of the heart. Make sure the person has ample experience and that the quality of their advice and their philosophy have more weight than their marketing strategy.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that friends and family don’t have an important role in your healing. Emotional shock after a breakup makes it perfectly normal to feel lost after a breakup or divorce. Your loved ones are there to help you get out of this rut and to feel better. They know you better than anyone and you can count on them as you bounce back and begin to rebuild yourself. Thanks to them you’ll be able to once again find happiness and begin to feel better in your own skin. They will help you bounce back and regain confidence and in turn this will help you feel better about your chances of getting back with your ex, or finding a new target!
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