Many of the single women that I speak too and that are looking for a long term relationship ask me the same question: How can I know if a guy is looking for a relationship? It’s a question that seems to be a mystery for many women; they find themselves’ going on dates with men and sometime even hooking up with them, only to be left wondering what it all means and trying to figure out the inner workings of a man’s brain.
Are you or someone you know wondering if a guy as feelings and wants to settle or if he only wants to hook up with you? In this article we will provide you with the means to find answers to your pressing questions, but more importantly we will give you tools to never have to ask yourself this question again!
Forget about what he wants and focus on what you want
Let me start off by saying that I am man and thus can give a man perspective on this very issue. I have found common traits to all the women who seek answers to this very question, and it often starts with a lack of self-confidence. You simply do not value yourself enough to be confident to take the lead and dictate the terms of how a potential relationship will shape out. Furthermore I challenge you from the outset to change your perspective on the issue; forget what he wants and his looking for and instead focus on what you want!
It’s safe to assume that in most cases you will be looking to settle with a guy and not just have a one night stand or to simply be friends. If this assumption is incorrect, I do not think you will be losing any sleep or even simply try to figure out what he may be looking for. Therefore I challenge you to focus your energy on your want and needs rather than his.
If you have fallen for or are interested in someone, and you are able to focus your energy solely on getting what you want, odds are that you will take control of a lingering situation and pull him towards that very commitment that you are seeking. Men feel when women are insecure or unsure of what they want. On the flip side, a woman who values herself and that has the conviction that she wants to make a man her’s can have tremendous amount of seduction powers. But first, let’s focus on the ground work and foundation that should be in place, in order for you to be able to gracefully take control while getting him to want to, on his own terms, settle with you!
Put together a “life project” and live with purpose
Nothing can be sexier than a person who is living with purpose; who has convictions or a philosophy of life that they live by on a day to day basis. This is where the true foundation of seduction begins. Basically what we are advocating for here is that you have a long term vision about the way that you want to live your life, as well as a set of objectives both professional and personal that you set for yourself.
By focusing on you and trying to reach certain targets that you have set or by staying focused on the type of life that you want to live, you will undeniably start to attract certain types of likeminded people into your life. In turn, you will also be much more grounded and won’t be swayed into falling into “someone else’s life project” or be an innocent by standard in a man’s path.
We believe that everyone has the potential to shape their destiny. Taking control of a potential relationship with a man is no different, but it all starts with the conviction that you are walking your own path towards something greater. If you are able to reach such a mindset, and everyone is capable of doing just that, we are convinced that getting a guy to commit to you long term will not be an issue.
Identify what are the core traits you look for in a guy
In order to be able to draw the right guy to you, it is important to know what are the essential traits or characteristics that you are seeking in a man. If you are unsure of what you want, you most probably won’t end up with a guy that is right for you. Take the time to list the values that are essential to you, the things that you want to share or have in common with your man and not only focus on what he may look like!
Physical appeal is grossly overrated in this day and age. Sure it’s a must that you be attracted to your potential boyfriend or husband but physical appearance is only one aspect of appeal; Charisma, humor, chivalry, and family values are other elements that should be taken into account when putting together a list of credentials for the type of men that you hope to attract into your life.
Send the right signals to men
After you have put together your life project and identified the core traits that you are looking for in a man, be sure to surround yourself with friends and people who share some of the same beliefs or sets of value that you hold; we do not advocate that you exclusively spend time with like-minded individuals, but it is important to have some acquaintances that hold similar values to you. This will provide you with the opportunity to grow your pool of potential candidates, and in turn attract individuals who have things in common with you.
Then once you have identified men or the man that you want to settle with make sure that you send him the right signals. Many times men do not even know that are into them and thus do not have the confidence to approach or court you.
As we have laid the ground work and provided the foundation for you to live with purpose, we predict that you will be beaming and that the guy that you have chosen to be part of your journey will want nothing else than to be with you and make you his. Once again, you will just need to ensure that you send him the right signals and that he feels that you are serious about looking to settle long term. This means that you should not sleep with him, or casually hook up past a simple make out sessions before having some sort of commitment from the guy that he wants to make you his. You should hear it from the “horse’s mouth”!
You will know when a guy is looking to commit
When someone loves you and his ready to commit you will know it in your heart. You will in reality not need to hear the words to have the confirmation that he is madly in love with you. Love manifests itself in other ways, and is a language that goes beyond words. So when I hear women ask themselves if a man is ready to settle, it shines the light on one of three things that almost always end up being true: They lack self-confidence, they do not have a “life project” or philosophy of life that they live by; and no the man in question is most probably not ready to settle with them. If he were ready, you would know!
But do not despair; we have given you the tools to ensure that you end up being able to attract the man that you want into your life. We are convinced of it! Be sure to live with purpose and to stand for something, identify core traits that you look for in a man before settling on one, let your intentions be clearly known, and reap the rewards and the feeling of empowerment that comes with being able to control your own destiny!
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