From the youngest age, it is every girl’s dream to one day walk down the aisle with her friends and families gathered to celebrate her union with the man of her dreams. Now the only thing standing in the way is that you need to get him to propose and he simply won’t budge! Because women have fantasized about getting proposed too and about their wedding day all their lives, you can become antsy if the man is taking too long to come around and get down on one knee.
This can lead to great frustration but also to breakups because you may feel that your man is not fully committed to you since he won’t propose. Although every relationship is different and every man has a unique and specific history that can have profound effects on his views and conception of marriage; we will give you our unique insights, as well as 5 easy steps to ensure that the man that you deeply love will finally buy you a ring!
Do not make marriage a subject of contention
It is extremely important that you try your best not to make marriage or him proposing a subject of contention between you and your boyfriend or partner. Women can have a tendency of being extra sensitive when it comes to getting that commitment and can be very vocal about how unhappy that makes them feel. You must be very careful that your insecurities in that regard do not push him away! Take the time to realize that you are already sharing a life with him and that every day together is another day of commitment to one another!
Is putting that pressure on him worth the risk of losing him all together? On the contrary we will advocate for compassion on this matter and to try to put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself what could be holding him back. Could it be a financial issue; we know that weddings tend to be very expensive! Perhaps he is waiting to be in a more stable financial position to be able to offer you the wedding that he thinks you deserve? Or what other factors could be preventing him from getting engaged? In some cases it is true that it could be that he simply is not yet ready to take that next step, and we do not advocate that you try to force his hand.
Forcing a man to commit or to get him to propose before he is ready is probably one of the worse or most destructive actions that you can do for your couple. You may feel the joy and immediate “feel good” element of the wedding, but your man will most likely not share those same emotions and may perceive and remember your wedding in a totally different light. Beyond the show, the glitter and the celebration, the true essence of a wedding is a commitment that you will make to one another. And forcing someone to make an emotional commitment is simply inappropriate and self-defeating.
Often times this argument is rebuffed by women comparing their situation to some of their friends or happily married couple; you look around and all of your college friends seem to have found the right guy who loved them so much that they were prepared to get engaged and offer their wives the weddings of their dreams. This type of thinking can also be very destructive and create a false reality and a utopia that will put your relationship in danger.
Every story is different, and every couple experiences their own sets of issues and internal struggles.
For all you know maybe your girlfriends envy the way that your companion looks at you, the way they talk about you, or some other aspect of your daily life that may seem trivial to you because you have become used to it and now take it for granted.
So on the contrary instead of thinking about hot to get him to propose or making a wedding or engagement a subject of contention, make sure that you try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship, and all the little things that he does to make you feel special and to highlight his commitment to you on the day to day.
Focus on your couples’ overall “life project” and marriage will soon follow
It is of the utmost importance that you and your partner agree upon what we like to refer to as a “life project”. A life project is series of set goals and life philosophy that you both wish to achieve and live by. This can range from a multitude of areas such as the type of education and schooling for your children, the place and location where you would like to live and retire, but also different day to day values that are important to the both of you.
This can also include coming to a consensus on the ideal time period of how and when to get married. This should not be a source of contention between the two of you, but more of an exercise in compromise and one that should enable you both to come together.
You and your partner will need to truly listen to one another and respect each other’s point of views, wants and needs. In our opinion a common approach to such a “life project” initiative, done over a period of time and in writing as opposed to a brief chat in one sitting, can be the single best way to ensure to get him to propose to you in the near to medium future. You will in essence be defusing the tension away from the idea of marriage and both focus on achieving a series of goals, and thus pulling in the same direction towards a common future!
No matter what may be holding him back, you may be able to further understand your partner’s perspective through this exercise. By being more knowledgeable about his true desires and how he intends to live his life, you will be better equipped to accept his approach but also have a better feel for when and how he intends to propose.
Furthermore the two of you will have created a blueprint or road map for a life together. It is a document that you will always be able to go back to when you have differences in regards to major life decisions. Take our advice for it, if you wish to have more visibility on when he intends to propose or get married, or even if you wish to accelerate the process and get him to propose sooner, put a “life project” together!
How to get him to propose if he never intends on getting married
You need to understand that commitment is proved in daily actions and not necessarily in the promise or fulfillment of marriage. Marriage is such an important step or commitment that you should be willing to be extra patient for this day to come. There is no perfect age to get married; the perfect union and marriage celebration is the one that is forever lasting!
We are sometimes asked about convincing a man to get married, or tricking him into proposing to his special someone. This goes against our love coaching approach and philosophy and although we can offer tips and advice to help him see your perspective, with the hope that he may change his stance on the issue, we do not believe in tricking or forcing someone to propose. A man should have the choice to propose to a woman, just like a woman should have the choice to accept or not accept a marriage proposal. That is one of the elements that makes marriage unique and beautiful.
If the man that you are with has been vocal or even stubborn about his desire to never get married, whatever the reason may be, you really should reassess your willingness to be in a relationship with him or your true commitment to this man. If the idea of marriage itself is more important to you than the man that you are with, we advise that you let him know in a calm and collected way, and not during a fight or argument.
There should be no need for an ultimatum or blackmail of any kind. If you speak to him truly from the bottom of your heart, and explain to him the reasons as to why marriage is so important to you during the course of an overall discussion centered around common life goals that you have as a couple, we are convinced that he will see the light and eventually give you that wedding that you so desire!
So in order to get your boyfriend or partner to propose to you remember our tips and advice; Never make it a subject of contention between the two of you or start an argument centered around the idea of him proposing to you. When the time is right, try to put together a common “life project” document which should serve as a blueprint or road map to reach common goals set for yourselves as well as a life philosophy that you both adhere to live by and build upon.
Lastly, remember to be patient and to give him the time to come around and make this important decision on his own terms and when he feels fully ready. By following this advice we feel really confident that your man will be on one knee and proposing to you before you know it!
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