Here’s a message I recently received; “Adrian, my ex is being led to believe certain things by a very toxic person. How can I reason with him and in turn find a way to back together?”
Do you find yourself in the same position? Are friends and family that don’t like you influencing your ex? How can you convince your ex to take you back despite their loved ones’ negative advice?
First of all I’d like to thank Gwen for giving me the idea to write this article on “what to do if my ex is being manipulated”. I know you’re going through a tough period as you’re breaking up with the one you love. On top of that, this person is being influenced by someone who isn’t bringing anything good or positive to the table. I know you’re afraid of never getting your ex back. The good news however is that there are lots of useful methods that I can teach you based on my experience of helping so many people meet their goal of making their ex come back to them.
In this article you will discover solutions, and I invite you to already start taking the right steps to avoid making mistakes and furthering the negative effect that a certain toxic person can have on your ex.
Don’t try to impose yourself anymore, and focus your energy into putting an end to daily fights. You’ll notice that by doing this, you’ll create a unique opportunity for yourself to regain control of the situation.
I know that one article isn’t enough to fully guide you. In order to better understand the subtleties behind certain actions to carry out while trying to get back together with your ex, Alex and I are organizing personalized coaching sessions. I highly urge you to make an appointment as soon as possible.
Should I tell my ex that he is being manipulated?
You could present your ex with every piece of evidence on the planet to explain to him that he’s being manipulated, but this doesn’t mean that he’s going to get it. This is why I suggest that you don’t bring that up, and that you especially don’t use it as a pretext for justifying the breakup. The more you say, “Look at how you’re being manipulated,” the more your ex is going to turn a blind eye to the situation. They might even get angry with you, and it’s simply because making them aware of what’s going on unfortunately won’t happen through harsh words.
On the other hand, if you use methods and actions to reestablish a calm and understanding dialogue with your ex, you’ll be able to get close again, little by little. By creating a positive exchange between you, you’ll be able to get your message across, and your ex will be much more receptive.
So my advice is to never flat out tell your ex that they are being manipulated. This way you avoid ruffling more feathers. That being said, you’ll be able to do a lot more good by hanging out regularly, or communicating more frequently, while letting loose.
This is how you will make headway in your attempt at getting back together despite people manipulating your ex.
Should you contact the people that have an impact on your ex?
If you feel guilty about something that has to do with your ex’s loved ones, you can by all means reach out to tell them how you feel. By doing this towards people that have an influence on your ex, usually their family and friends, you can prove to them that you don’t want to leave things on a bad note.
In this situation I recommend that you use the hand-written letter method. You can clearly and genuinely write what you feel guilty about, and explain to these people that you’d like to be able to communicate in a more positive way.
If the situation is different, and you have been judged for no good reason and you know you’re not at fault, then I wouldn’t suggest reaching out to them. They probably won’t change the way they act towards you, so the only thing you should do is just remain polite. Something that isn’t often talked about is the fact that you can still go ahead and wish them happy birthday, or wish them happy holidays without feeling guilty about it. When you say, “My ex is being manipulated” you also have to know how to have a slightly manipulating attitude of your own!
My ex is being manipulated how do I make him believe me?
As human beings, when we want to be heard, we have a tendency to raise our voices or to yell as tempers rise. But in this situation, I highly suggest always remaining calm, showing your ex that you respect them, so that it becomes clear to them that you’re not coming from a place of spitefulness. Once your ex understands this, they will be much more willing to listen.
The more you show your ex that you’re positive, happy, and that you’re able to rise above certain things (proving it with your tangible changes) the more your ex will be inclined to see you again and have a calm discussion. It’s therefore pointless to talk about the past to tell him how deeply you love him, or to tell him you want him back. All of this will make him just want to throw walls up around himself and he won’t listen anymore.
If someone is manipulating or negatively-influencing your ex you’ll have to be patient. I have had a great number of coaching sessions during which a face to face meeting allowed the person to pass along a desired message to their ex, without looking too negative or angry. It’s important to not criticize your ex’s loved ones to their face, because this will reflect badly on you, and your ex will resent it.
My advice is to take your time. Start by having an irreproachable attitude, and then start working on building a “friendly” relationship with your ex. It’s pointless to go too fast, and you’ll see that by taking the time to do everything correctly and thoroughly, you’ll have much better results!
I know that being in this position is never easy, but I’m here to help you. Believe me when I say that the right moment will present itself, and you’ll be able to tell your ex what you know they need to hear. Don’t lose sight of your goal by letting others get to you. Focus on yourself and on your ex; it’s the most surefire way of making sure you’ll be heard and that you’ll be able to rebuild a healthy and solid relationship! Begin by getting back with the person you love before starting to fight against people that are manipulating them…
I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.
Your relationship expert to help you get back with your ex,