My ex is thinking about getting back together: How can I seal the deal?

My ex is thinking about getting back togetherA few days or weeks ago, the person with whom you were sharing your life decided to put an end to your relationship. Since then, your world has been turned upside down, and you don’t know how to act because you still love your ex. You don’t understand why they made this decision. It’s a peculiar situation because you don’t quite know how to feel about it. On top of that, there’s news! You’ve heard that your ex is currently considering taking you back…

You aren’t sure if you actually have a chance or if this is just a thought, but you still want to try to get back together. When we say, “my ex is thinking about getting back together,” we know that one false move could scare them off and have even greater doubts. This is exactly what is holding you back from making a move, but also what is preventing you from making mistakes. By trying too hard to do the perfect thing, we often make errors. Your attempt to get back with your ex is dangling by a thread, but this isn’t a reason to panic.

I know you’re wondering, “What can I do to make my ex change their mind,” “Should I profess my love?” These are precisely the questions I will answer in this article. If you are new to my philosophy, know that in love everything is possible as long as you try; and together we can conquer your ex’s doubts and make them come back to you.

Why is my ex still hesitating?

It’s normal to feel a little bit of fear when you don’t fully understand what’s going on around you. Not so long ago the person with whom you shared your life announced that it’s over, and now they might want you back. It’s as if you’re going through an emotional yoyo and it of course affects your morale and confidence. Saying, “My ex wants to get back together” is never simple because it brings back doubt. But there are always two ways to see things; the glass can either be half empty or half full!

Before I dive into this article, I just want to reassure you and let you know that there is still hope; don’t give up. The fact that your ex is considering coming back means that they still see something in you; they understands that maybe the decision was too brash. An ex doesn’t think about coming back for no reason. It’s up to you to understand what these reasons are, and to then emphasize them.

I understand that we tend to focus on the negatives but you must realize that you are at an advantage over most others; even though your ex is aware of your shortcomings, they are aware of your qualities as well. There are still feelings and elements that tip the odds in your favor, and that prevents your ex from forgetting you. This clearly proves that the bond between you is still strong.

Nevertheless, all is not perfect because your ex is still going through a period of doubt which is shining a light on their internal conflicts, questions, or fears. You must therefore show them an evolution in your behavior and attitude.

Even if it’s hard to accept the explanation they gave you on why they decided to end the relationship, your ex didn’t just wake up one morning and think, “I’m going to leave them!” Maybe it was because your ex wasn’t getting enough attention, things became too routine, you fought too often, or maybe even because of something external to your unit like problems or pressure from family.

It is therefore important to understand what pushed your ex to this decision, and to be able to ask yourself the right questions in regards to your relationship and both of your wellbeing. Once you’ve been able to pinpoint your ex’s needs and desires, you will be able to leave your doubts behind and be more efficient. When we are aware of this we realize how important it is to show to your ex that you will be the one to fulfill them; and that together you will be happier than ever.

My ex is thinking about getting back together; What to avoid?

Most people that say, ”My boyfriend or girlfriend is thinking about leaving me,” tend to make tons of mistakes because they are living in fear of getting dumped at any moment. They want to solve everything too fast and panic at the idea of losing their better half or becoming single.

In your case the circumstances are different because you’ve already gone through the negative emotions and the shock of the breakup. It’s completely natural for you to feel doubts right now, but the truth is that you have nothing to lose…At this point you need to detach yourself from the relationship in order to avoid making your ex associate you with the past relationship.

The ultimatum: a classic error!

“You need to make up you made and settle on a decision because this is becoming ridiculous. Either we get back together or you stop reaching out to me for good!” If you think that this type of attitude is going to bring you some kind of positive result you are sorely mistaken.

I’m not saying that you should just accept your ex’s indecision. There is a proper way to act though. Instead of using words there are certain methods that I suggest on a regular basis. Maybe you’ve already tried some of them and that’s what brought your ex to this idea of giving you a second chance. It could very well be the factor that has created doubt in their mind. So yes, now is the right time to take the next step (because this is often what we have in mind when our ex is hesitating.) It’s best to take a bit of distance; Nature can’t stand voids, and neither can your ex!

Furthermore, if you are taking this unfavorable route, by which I mean issuing an ultimatum, you will most certainly risk sending a negative message; especially if your ex has already reprimanded your controlling nature or your bad attitude in the past. Your ex may very well take offense to it, and step back even further or take even more time to decide because the doubt in their mind will have grown considerably. Your ex might even do this to test or frustrate you!

My ex doesn’t know where they stand anymore. Should I show my feelings?

One of the most common mistakes is being too needy or in demand of their time and attention, or begging for your ex to return. Now that your ex has shared with you the fact that they may be willing to start a relationship with you again your attitude may have completely changed. Through distancing yourself or employing the radio silence technique is usually the most useful option, now that you know what they are thinking you may feel compelled to show how attached you really were this entire time.

So you profess your undying love on the phone or in frenzied letters, and you promise to move mountains, but in reality nothing is changing. Worse still, your ex may take yet another step back since you’ve started acting so needy.

If you’re currently facing a similar situation pull the breaks! Stop this immediately because simply put, you’re seriously damaging your chances of getting back together. As I explain in my book, 70 pro tips to get back with an ex, it isn’t your feelings that are going to make your ex come back to you; it’s a series of different factors based on their expectations. Each person is unique, and so each attempt at getting back together with an ex is as well!

My ex is hesitating: Should I just go for it or be patient?

When your ex is completely uncertain about how they feel their actions may seem illogical to you. We ask ourselves countless questions about the moment when we are supposed to take action. You wonder if you should go for it and prove to your ex that love can flourish again between you both, or if you should let time be your greatest ally.

It’s not an easy question to answer. It doesn’t mean that I don’t know the answer; it means that the wrong question is being asked! It goes without saying that if you rush things, you will chase away your ex. At the same time, if you wait an eternity before taking action and showing your ex what they are waiting for your ex will have ample time to become even more distant.

Furthermore, be aware that it’s important to act according to your situation. Some people will have to carry out multiple actions, whereas others will just need one substantial action. This of course affects the length of time it will take you to win back your ex. It will also impact whether you should rush or take your time.

You also need to understand that just because your ex is thinking about getting back together, it doesn’t mean that they should run your life and that you should say yes to everyone of their requests or desires. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t just settle on waiting for your ex to make a decision about whether or not they will come back. You can be proactive yourself and enable a positive reaction by proving that you’re the one they need!

How to show your ex that you are the one for them?

There is a surefire way to conquer your ex’s indecision. You have to prove to them that you are the one.

It’s not by being extra romantic that you are going to convince your ex to start a relationship with you again. Your ex expects you to understand what you may have done wrong, and to correct what needs to be corrected. For example, if they constantly complained about you being immature, don’t write a letter using lines from the latest video game as it will only prove your ex’s image of you. Sometimes you need an electroshock to put things into focus, and the fact that your ex decided to put an end to your relationship proves that the issue was deep-rooted. But if your ex is considering coming back, it means that even if you have some flaws, they see that you’re a good person and they may be willing to evolve with you. After all, nobody is perfect…

It is mainly through communicating in the right way that you will be able to encourage your ex to evolve in a positive way in regards to potentially getting back together; but be careful not to force anything. You will have to understand the right thing to say at the right time, and this is where you could truly benefit from one on one coaching sessions with a relationship expert. Either way you must be able to pinpoint the true issues in order to be able to solve them.

Each relationship is different and it’s normal that your plan of action is unique as it corresponds to the expectations of your partner. Through consultations we will be able to identify the best possible approach for you and to personally adapt our best tips for you to use on your better half. I would need to know your story in detail in order to construct the most effective strategy. All you have to do is be willing to let yourself be guided and you will be able to find the best way to eradicate your ex’s lingering uncertainties.

Don’t put it off any longer, and put an end to their indecision. Your ex should see change and efforts on your behalf right away!

The coach to listen to if you need that extra push because your ex is thinking about getting back together

Best wishes,

Alexandre CORMONT