You have broken with your ex girlfriend but she tells you that she still has feelings for you? Did she straight up tell you that she still loves you? Do you sense that she is torn and that it is possible for you to get back together? Do you still love her and would be willing to do anything to get her back?
Going through a breakup can be a rollercoaster of emotions especially if your ex cannot seem to make up her mind. “One minute my ex says she loves me and the next she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me!” I have coached tons of men who have expressed similar frustrations and who had been looking for tools or tips to make their ex commit to them.
I have decided to sum up some of the lessons that I have learned in the field and to compile them in the form of an article in order for more men to have access to this information when facing a similar situations. It is my hope that you will feel more confident about your chances of getting back together and stay together with the one you love after having read this article!
Why does my ex keep changing her mind about how she feels about me?
Following a breakup it is quite common for an ex girlfriend to be confused about her emotions or how she feels about you. In some instances her heart may be telling her to stay because she has strong feelings for you that tend to resurface from time to time. On the other hand her mind may be telling her not to get back together because she was no longer fulfilled in the relationship. So she ends up being confused and you end up having to deal with her uncertainty. We refer to this type of behavior in the context of trying to get back with an ex as the hot and cold treatment.
In order to deal with this hot and cold treatment you will need to be level headed and not get over excited or completely depressed by your ex’s mood swings. You need to stay busy, to find some sort of escape in your down time; otherwise you will run the risk of succumbing to that emotional roller coaster and let it get the best of both you in your quest to get back together. The trick is to keep your mind busy as much as possible by doing activities that you find genuine pleasure doing; or others that bring you a sense of peace like yoga, meditation, painting or any other type of relaxing endeavor. It will help you stay level headed and not snap when your ex is frustrating you by being unsure of what she wants!
Does it mean that we will get back together if my ex says she loves me?
Not necessarily! The fact that your ex tells you that she has feelings for you does not mean that you are going to get back together. Feelings and emotions are not always permanent. You will only get back together if you prove to her that you can make her happy in the long run. You must remember that you have probably shared intense moments together so I have no doubt that your ex still loves you. You can’t just stop loving someone over night; she is probably still attached to you but she is disillusioned. She won’t let herself get back with you because of her fears or because of this pre-conceived notion that you won’t be able to make her happy. In short she thinks that you can’t or won’t change!
During my countless hours of one on one coaching sessions I realized that people who want to get back with an ex tend to get too caught up in emotions and words. I understand why; you are in a vulnerable position, you feel like you have lost someone that you love and you are prepared to do almost anything to get them back. So you over analyze each and every move, word, actions or social media post that your ex makes. When I hear men tell me “my ex says she loves me”, my immediate reaction is to temper their expectations in order for them not to over react! Because when you over react, you often let your impulse and emotions get the best of you and you stray of course; you deviate from the game plan that we will establish together. So a word of advice, an “I love you” does not mean an “I want to get back together” when spoken by an ex with whom you are still broken up!
So how can I make my ex stay in love with me or want to start a new relationship?
It is possible for you to get back together with the woman you love. As discussed previously you will need to keep some sort of emotional independence in order not to go through ups and downs and suffer from her change of hearts. You need to disconnect from her and your previous relationship and focus on being positive and engaging in activities that will bring you happiness and joy. It is only once your ex feels that you have let go, that you give her time and space to miss you, that she will start to realize what she is about to lose. As long you are chasing her and in demand of her time and attention, she cannot possibly feel what it’s like to be truly single.
You shouldn’t fear losing her because she is already no longer yours. You simply have to accept that fact, focus on you and your own happiness. Once you regain a sense of drive and inner peace your ex will naturally be drawn back to you because you will have become that man that she fell in love with at the beginning of your previous relationship! The man she always dreamed of being with once she first decided to settle into a relationship with you. The worse thing that you can do in this situation is to put your ex on a pedestal and to be in demand. She will not be attracted to such behavior no matter how much you care or try!
You now have a road map to follow once your ex girlfriend tells you that she is still into you, or that she still cares about you after you have already broken up! Try to use this advice in your daily life and do everything possible to stay in control of your emotions and not tell your ex that you want nothing else than to be with her at all cost! Focus on you and let her come back to you naturally; because I have no doubt that she will if you are able to really let go and begin a process of personal development following a breakup!
The coach to seek advice from when an ex tells you that she still has feelings for you,