A breakup often results in a lot of bitterness. Of course there are some relationships that don’t end “that badly;” there’s no sobbing, outbursts, or fights. You both had realized that it wasn’t really working so you decided to end the relationship without waging war on one another.
Unfortunately this type of utopian situation is usually far from what most people experience because after a breakup there is always one person that suffers more than the other. You’re most likely reading these lines because your relationship didn’t end on a good note and you’re looking for a way to relieve the tension by sending a letter to your ex. Your goal is either to bury the hatchet, to ease the anger that exists between you, or to make your emotions known to your ex for once and for all.
Just a few weeks or months ago you two were still madly in love. The situation unfortunately had deteriorated over time and you ended up separating. You’ve understood what you may have done wrong, you realized that you should have acted differently, and that your ex-partner has their fair share of responsibility for the situation as well. So you have an idea: to write a reconciliation letter to an ex! But is this a good idea? Is this not something that reveals a deep emotional dependence on your ex? Is saying sorry to your ex the magic solution? Keep reading this article to find out!
What is a reconciliation letter to an ex?
After a fight, infidelity or any other issue that you and your ex may have faced that caused the breakup or a crisis in your relationship, you’ve tried sending texts, flowers, surprises at work, and various other things to get a positive reaction and to show the person you love that you’re present…But nothing has worked. You’re not advancing in your attempt at rekindling the love between you and you’re running out of ideas.
So you are going to try one of the most well-known solutions; the reconciliation letter to an ex. You muster up all your courage and you begin writing. That said, it’s important to know what exactly a letter like this entails. If you’re familiar with my articles on the subject, you already know that you can’t set out to write a good letter without knowing the things that will improve it or make it less effective. Many men and women that try this method end up making one of the biggest errors…They write about their feelings!
The letter meant to help you kiss and make up becomes a declaration of their love for their partner. There is no analysis, no suggestion of solutions, and instead each line looks something like, “I love you, I miss you…” The person ends up taking all responsibility for what went wrong and all the problems, even if it wasn’t their fault! A reconciliation letter should explain your behavior, propose solutions and remind your ex that your relationship can be solid.
In any case you should know that writing many pages to your ex isn’t going to make them come back. I’m not saying that it’s something that they’re not going to like; but this isn’t what they’re expecting of you. You will have to back it up with tangible actions. They know you love them, they’re not stupid, and everyone can see that you haven’t been the same since the breakup and that your feelings for them are still strong, but it’s not quite enough to get your ex back. If you can begin to evolve and prove this to your ex via the letter you will write, things will start to improve!
Why should I write a reconciliation letter to my ex?
It’s not always easy to organize meeting up with your ex face to face after a breakup or to speak on the phone without making various mistakes during the conversation. The letter is therefore a great compromise between the distance that your ex wants and needs right now, and your need to take action. You’re not going to let time do the work for you!
It’s crucial for your own well being that you take things into your own hands and take action. If you don’t know where to start, the first thing you have to do is to determine the kind of situation you are currently in. In our book, that you can find in a downloadable e-book format by clicking here, “70 Pro Tips to Get Back with Your Ex,” you can find different types of tough situations that you might find yourself in. There are also 3 examples of letters that are ready to be sent and you can put all the odds in your favor!
Moving on after a breakup and forgetting about the separation or the issues you had faced isn’t always easy. The good news is that by using this technique, you’ll be giving yourself time to reflect on the situation. Let’s take a simple example; you’re on the phone and you can’t find the right words and you’re not getting your message across… You risk taking a step backwards. If you just take at least 2 or 3 days to analyze the situation, to clear your head and to write things down on a piece of paper, you’ll be better equipped to avoid making mistakes!
I make up with my ex, and then what?
As I mentioned, writing a letter of reconciliation doesn’t mean that your work is done and that the person that is upset with you is just going to suddenly forget about everything that happened and jump back into your arms. If you have properly followed my guidelines then you’ve taken the right initiatives for your relationship and you’ve made the required changes. You’re going to have to stick with it and make sure the changes have been made for the long run if you don’t want your ex to take out your letter in the future and accuse you of having made false promises!
Another thing to keep in mind is that you should never set aside the important things you do for yourself like exercise, going out, spending time with your group of friends… You have to keep this balance in your life so that the situation can evolve and so that you no longer make the same mistakes that you were making before. In fact you have to do this before you can write your letter because you have to make sure that your ex will really be able to see the changes and improvements that you’ve already made. It will also help you to avoid being too “emotional” in your letter.
Your ex doesn’t want to be fighting with you. You have a shared past, memories, children… There’s no reason to be ashamed of making the first move so that you can save your relationship. This of course doesn’t mean that you should beg them to take you back or become needy; you have to use a method that helps you to get back on your feet and the CORMONT method is exactly what will change your relationship for the better.
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