Even though they all have the same goal, that is to say getting your ex back or figuring out how to rekindle love with an ex, the techniques used to revive their feelings for you aren’t all the same and can have radically different results based on the details of your story.
Certain factors of your relationship also have an effect, for example your ex’s character or their past.
It is therefore imperative to be fully aware of the most important tips and guidelines that will serve you best in your personal situation; the ones that will truly help you to get the person you love back in your arms.
Not only can using the wrong methods decrease your chances of success, it can also make you lose a considerable amount of time. In truth, when you want your ex back, time is probably the most important factor. This is why it’s so important to really understand which actions will be the most pertinent to your situation.
If you want to rekindle the flame with your ex, if you want to know how to reach your goal, then you have to be sure that what you’re doing is actually effective. Knowing the pros and cons of each method available to you will be a huge advantage.
There are specific steps to follow, and I will explain to you how to proceed in this article.
The first 5 things to do to rekindle love with an ex
If you really want to rekindle love with an ex get back together with the person you love, it’s crucial that you understand how to adapt the best techniques to your situation and in order to do so, there is a logical process that must not be neglected.
Analyzing what caused the separation
When starting the process of getting back together, the first thing you have to work on is understanding the reason(s) behind the breakup. This technically isn’t a ‘method’ but if you want to revive your ex’s feelings for you, it will help you to determine what needs to happen.
Keep in mind that a great number of people actually skip this step and immediately start working on direct actions instead of fully thinking things through.
Knowing what went wrong in your relationship will help you to pinpoint what errors you may have made and you can therefore begin making the necessary changes.
This isn’t about punishing yourself or twisting the knife in the wound; it’s actually a way to rebuild yourself.
You’re going to start making the improvements you and your ex both need. It’s crucial to obtain answers to your questions if you want to advance in your attempt at getting back together.
Give your ex space so that their feelings can be reawakened
This is one of the first things to do when looking to rekindle love with an ex, but it’s also one of the most impactful things you can do. Putting some distance between you (not to be confused with full on RS,) allows you to make your ex start to asking themselves questions and it can eventually urge them to approach you again.
Most people tend to approach the person that left them because they are in serious need of affection. This doesn’t fix anything whereas with a little space, you’ll be able to reverse the tendency and you’ll start acting differently with your ex, which in turn will surprise them.
It also helps you to take a step back and focus on rebuilding yourself instead of fixating on the person you love.
This will help you organize your thoughts after the breakup, which will help you to feel much better and to overcome emotional dependence much faster.
You have to boost your morale after the breakup because it will have an effect on your state of mind and your ability to follow the action plan you have designed. By focusing on yourself and by allowing your partner to rethink their decision, you’ll begin feeling more confident and you’ll avoid becoming depressed in love.
Putting space between you might sound strange to a lot of people but in truth it’s a highly effective psychological tool. Even if your ex is the one that decided to leave, it doesn’t mean that they can’t miss you (especially if your relationship wasn’t brand new!)
For now, don’t write any letters!
Just like in every day life, there is a proverb in getting back together that always rings true; “All in good time.” Before you take action after a breakup, you have to think and design a plan of action step by step. To get back together with your ex you have to rekindle their love for you!
On top of getting them back you want them to fall for you again, or at least that their feelings return little by little. There is a way and it is actually one of the foundations of my philosophy as a coach: The handwritten letter!
By writing this letter you have the possibility to create a real electroshock in your ex-partner. But PLEASE don’t send them a letter after just two or three days of being apart.
If you want this letter to have a real effect and a positive impact, timing is of utmost importance. On top of that, you shouldn’t write a long declaration of your undying love because that’s not the goal here.
A lot of people confuse the letter to an ex with a love letter. When you want to make someone want you back, the last thing you should do is beg them to do so or to pour your heart out because this is the opposite of the message you should be trying to communicate.
Of course you can begin writing now, but don’t send anything. Keep your notes and reflect on the breakup. Reread your letters a few days later to see if they still correspond to what you think.
Make your ex jealous
Love isn’t the only emotion a person can feel. There is another one that in fact could really help you in your attempt at getting back together. I am of course talking about jealousy! By using it you can communicate to your ex that you’ve actually already surmounted the breakup even if this isn’t the case at all.
Generally, when you use jealousy as a technique for getting back together, you pretend (or not) to be in a happy new relationship with another man or woman. You want your ex-significant other to react upon seeing you floating around on cloud 9 with this new person.
A person’s ego is fragile…especially when it comes to love. This method therefore works very well and produces results.
You should note that this can be tricky and it can turn against you. Guidance from a coach on how to get your ex back would be ideal especially under these circumstances.
A makeover to grab your ex’s attention
I referred to making changes a little earlier in this article because it is something that your ex wants, and it’s not just in terms of a change of attitude. It would be beneficial to improve your image as well. You have to make your ex feel the desire to approach you again.
I advise the people I coach to exercise once or twice a week so that they can take care of their body as well as clear their mind. But you shouldn’t stop there…
You have to take your changes a step further and this is precisely why a makeover is a great way to give your ex a newer, more positive image of yourself. You’ll rekindle their desire for you by showing them that you can still attract them, and by showing off your new assets!
Should you try multiple techniques at the same time to rekindle an ex’s love?
I hear this question all the time from the people I coach via the telephone or email, and from my readers in the comments they leave on my articles.
Well, the answer might not be what you were hoping for because it might seem a little vague, but… “It all depends on your situation!” I imagine you might be disappointed upon reading this short little sentence, but it goes without saying that each and everyone one of you has a unique story.
Some visitors to this site had been with their partner for 8 weeks, others for 18 months, and other for over 25 years. There are 15 or 17 year old teenagers, 22 or 23 year old young adults and people that have had a lot of experience and who are over 50.
The oldest person I have worked with was in fact 72 years old. And I won’t even get into the differences in culture that people can have! I’ve helped people in over 20 countries that include Canada, Hong Kong, Israel, the UK , Australia, Singapore, Ireland, Canada…
So as you can see, with all these elements, factors, criteria, it’s impossible for there to be one single piece of advice that works for everyone. It’s not realistic. The best advice I can give you is this: You always have to adapt techniques for getting your ex back to your specific situation.
Some people will have to use 5 different techniques at the same time, and other people will only need 1. The most important thing is to take into consideration the needs and desires of your ex and to figure out how to meet them.
Your coach to figure out how to rekindle love with an ex,
Sincerely,
Adrian
